Kids say the darndest things

Ava and Lulu killing it omg.

I wd like Ava to be my train conductor every day, even if she does seem skeptical about the validity of the bar car argument.

She told me I would have to stay on the train for FIVE DAYS to get to Kalamazoo, even though Lulu was going to Liverpool and her ride was only two days long--that hardly seems fair. Miraculously, I was ordered off right around the time I ran out of beer.

I'm going to go through all our photos with them at some point, and make sure they don't forget any of their new Stateside aunts and uncles.

I will bribe their memories with American children's books <--unfair advantage even though they have no idea who I am.

evie got a pair of my boxers out of the clean (fortunately) laundry, held them up in front of herself, and said "i like my tutu!"

One of the tasks I worked on on Mechanical Turk was analyzing transcripts of children's speech. I was this close to emailing the researchers that I worked for and telling them that their tasks were the most adorable ones on the entire site.

"I had the weasels!" --my husband at 6-7 years old after a certain now rare childhood illness.

After having that illness, I mean.

PPs first words: 'Leave me alone"
<3

Lol no way.

a couple of times now evie has described food that she didn't want to eat as "boogers" (one time it was avocado, another time hummus)

heard a kid in an NPR piece say, when asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, replied: "a soldier, a computer expert, and an. . . exterminator."

pplains's Sandman story is killing me :-D

"you taste like peanut butter, grasshoppers, and a fireplace"

I think I had that dish at Coi!

Owen: "I want to be a space alien, so I can pick up bad guys in my flying saucer and throw them into the garbage truck!"

Ben: "I want to have a space suit that has computers, and night-vision goggles, and shoots french fries at bad guys!"

parents are having a serious conversation after breakfast, I start a sentence "sometimes...", kinda trail off

my nine year old pipes in, straight faced, "you gotta live mas", then grins

that's my boy!

nice

Henry, on mother's day, in packed restaurant, at the top of his lungs, busts out with some Katy Perry "BABY YOU'RE A FIREWORK!"

hahahaha <3

my Dad (David) used to tell people on the bus as a toddler that his name was Burset. My Grandma was mortified and never figured out where he got that name from.

One of my friends went through a phase when he was little where he'd only answer when people addressed him as Hong Kong Phooey. He even has books from that time where it says This Book Belongs To: Joanh Hong Kong Phooey.

haha

*reading 'Pinocchio'*

ME: Do you know what a conscience is? It's supposedly what makes you know the difference between good and bad.

BEEPS: I already know the difference between good and bad.

ME: Well, yeah. But just like you use your hand to pick up your milk there, you use your conscience to know what's right and wrong.

I start reading the book again. She starts punching her own forehead.

ME: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

BEEPS: There. No more conscience. Let's finish the book.

Little girls are at their best when charmingly amoral, and Beeps is a fairly wonderful example. None of that pesky conscience for me, thanks.

evie's grandpa got her one of those board books with a finger puppet of a bee in it, like this:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UPJ4-0s41Mk/TqJ_Fsf5rVI/AAAAAAAAAfM/h0145klM-5k/s1600/beee9780811852364-crop-325x325.jpg
she pushed the puppet inside out through the back of the book, then pointed at it and said "bee bottom"

"I've got a case of the hippies"

While discussing the King of the Hill episode about Dale's gay dad:

Wife: So when you grow up, are you gonna marry a girl or are you gonna join the gay rodeo?
Son: When I grow up I'm gonna be a journalist for ten years, then I'm going to war.

Woah!

"daddy, how about this. i've got a new game. it's called dying.... children"

lord almighty

he's 3.5 years old...

haa

Right now Dalton is doing this extremely adorable thing where he's convinced that our dog Maebelle's full name is actually Our Dog Maebelle and so he refers to her as "Our Dog" (dropping her last name).

Me: "What's her name?"
D: "OUR DOG!"
Me: "No silly it's Maebelle."
D: "OUR DOG! OUR DOG! OUR DOG!"

Very cute. Unfortunately he also thinks his name is "You" right now, which is also adorable, but sort of unfortunate too.

Henry won't say his name.

Ask him who his friends are, and he'll list them out for him. Ask him what his name is, and he'll say "Wyatt". (another boy in his class.)

I finally heard him say his name the other night, but he was making reference to one of the other train engines in a Thomas book.

He also calls all cats "Pye", who was our beloved cat.

Pye died this week and last night he pointed at the other cat ("Rocket") and went PYE!

Maybe we should rename the other cat Wyatt.

Pyeatt? :D

[driving through the mountains]
sylvie: [quietly] are we in the mountains?
me: yep.
sylvie [screaming] WE ARE NOT IN THE MOUNTAINS!!!!!!

Ask him who his friends are, and he'll list them out for him. Ask him what his name is, and he'll say "Wyatt". (another boy in his class.)

omg

This is hilarious. I mostly can't wait to have kids because they're the funniest.

x-post - lollllllllll

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"OK, Sterling, this is your stuffed frog, this is your stuffed monkey, and this is your stuffed toast."
"Toast!" (pointing at frog)

"No no, that's the frog. This is the toast! Can you point at the toast?"

"Toast!" (pointing at frog)

"No, this is the toast! Here's the frog. Can you say 'frog'?"

[grabs stuffed frog, crawls across room, puts it on top of much larger rocking frog, points at them:] "Toast!"

― Douglas (Douglas), Monday, 12 June 2006 21:45 (6 years ago) Permalink

I still think of the frog/toast mix-up often.

we've been reading "hop on pop" a lot recently. last week we were reading it and it was the "HE ME - he got me. JIM HIM - jim got him." page and evie said "jim jim!" and then just started cracking up like she said something hilarious then said "jim jim!" again and cracked up again. every time i tried to start reading again she'd interrupt with "jim jim!" and then laugh. so then i just read the rest of the book as "jim jim, jim jim jim jim jim jim jim jim" to make her laugh.

See? That's hilarious and awesome. jim jim! Evie otm.

Ohmigod Hop On Pop is Dalton's favorite book. "Hop POP! HOP POP!"

The "We FIGHT at NIGHT" part used to grab Beeps a little.

I mean, yikes.

https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-CGICBeJ8W14/TYCd0SsH-jI/AAAAAAAAAp4/_0YCnJeWn-A/hop_on_pop_003.JPG

what the hell are red ned ted and ed all doing in bed together is what i want to know

Also thinks Mrs Brown ought to be suspicious of what Mr Brown and Mr Black have been up to.

too young to worry about mr. blonde

i have a theory that the "ted" in "red ned ted and ed in bed" is supposed to be a self-caricature of theodore "ted" geisel aka dr. seuss. it doesn't look like a normal dr. seuss character.