pitchfork is dumb (#34985859340293849494 in a series.)

i really hope the dude who wrote that isn't 31.

or 26 for that matter.

I like how he name-drops other CMG staff writers.

cokemachineglow, you are reliably terrible

^ it's true

it at least got me to listen to the goyte song, which isn't bad

http://pitchfork.com/reviews/tracks/13564-honeycomb/

glad they took the time to post this gem, really hearing the track in a new light now

sarcasm?

can't be

idgi

This headline amuses me for some reason

New Yeasayer: "Henrietta"

CDs of song sent to fans on the band's mailing list

Art design in this is pretty shitty.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZWC6gaYIaU

oh come on it's great!

http://futureoftheleftv2now.blogspot.com.au/2012/05/based-on-novel-of-same-name.html

man responding to a review like that is jut not a good look

nah its funny

i skimmed it, but there was also the fleet foxes dude who got offended because of a generally positive pfork review a few weeks ago, because it misused some music terms and dared to be slightly critical. actually that was pretty hilarious.

unreadable

you're unreadable

I don't mind these when they are funny, as this one is.

As for the cover, well, there’s a penguin on it you stupid cunt.

Also, I did kinda like him calling Pitchfork on the "corporate" name-calling thing.

i always enjoy reading Ian Cohen takedowns of bands i've never heard, and that Future Of The Left review was the rare one that actually made me want to hear the band's (other) records because he sold their merits pretty convincingly. and then i tried to read the FOTL guy's pointless nitpicking response and lost the desire to listen to them again.

also he admits it's a dumb idea in the first sentence

bands stay getting butthurt

Many things occurred to me on reading your review of the new future of the left record 'the plot against common sense' and I would like to take this opportunity to debate with you some of the points you raise in the piece, although of course by 'debate' I mean 'shut up and listen to me'.

^^this kind of thing doesn't come off as butthurt so much as fucking hilarious

yeah maybe -- tbf i haven't read it yet

the fleet foxes dude thing was remarkable in its butthurtedness

falkous' whole thing is being perpetually outraged in hilarious fashion so this is more "in character" than "butthurt"

on the other hand, i am a huge FOTL fan and could not make it through that whole thing

the fact that the whole thing kind of winds down with "wahhh, you like my old band more than my current band" makes it all seem pretty butthurt imo

let's parse out the many degrees and shades of butthurtedness

i believe there are 50 shades

hehe

i love mcclusky, haven't heard much FOTL, but i laughed out a lot when i read the piece. i wasn't rolling on the floor laughing but it was laughing nevertheless

hahaha n/a

fotlmao

yeah this was pretty funny and IMO well-deserved

when the subject of the review doesn't even understand the references used in it nor the interpretations of the lyrics, something's wrong

when the subject of the review isn't from the same country as the reviewer it's pretty inevitable, isn't it?

As we approach the bottom of your first paragraph you refer to the 'corporate slick production on future of the left's third album' (*1) - a question, my dear friend - would this be the kind of corporate slickness you get through recording an album in 16 days (using the same methods as ever) over a six month period in studio downtime and friend-financed to the tune of £2,000 (whilst we work in temporary jobs and with credit, when available, to support our habit) or instead the kind of corporate-slickness (since, as tone indicates, we’re using the term pejoratively) a person could get from writing for a site which has run the adverts of a variety of corporations, big and small, for many years? I may not be wearing my eyeglasses at this particular moment, but I can definitely see a lovely shiny one sitting atop your review at this very moment

this is very, very OTM

exactly, but IMO things like dropping a John Stossel reference for no reason somehow seem even worse when the artist himself doesn't know who that is (dunno if anyone else here does?)

my issue with cohen's review is that he's pulling out all these things to try and make it seem like the new FOTL album is different/lesser than the previous albums (eg the "corporate slickness," subject matter, etc.) when it actually sounds exactly like their other albums. falkous' bands pretty much do one thing, they don't do stylistic or production shifts. on one listen, i do think the new album isn't as good as the other FOTL albums but it's a songwriting problem, not a production or subject matter problem.

If he'd stopped at Following your lead, I’m going to let that one ‘sink in’ this would have been A+

actually, this still would have been awesome if it kept going through the subject-matter corrections and shitting in pitchfork's cave. After that it gets pretty ad hominem itself

i've found that no matter how idiotically or non-sensically a critic states an issue, there's usually some grain of truth in there. i mean, they didn't like it, you can't semantically argue someone into liking something.

i don't think he's trying to argue someone into liking something, i think he's just being an amusingly argumentative dick, which again, is kind of his persona

"you got these specific things wrong. Oh, and blow me." is basically as much as a musician should ever respond to a review if they feel the need. The "blow me" is important so that the critic wants be "hey i'm cool!" with the next review.

who reviews the reviewers

when the subject of the review isn't from the same country as the reviewer it's pretty inevitable, isn't it?

― some dude, Thursday, May 31, 2012 5:43 PM (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

not really in this case at least

I think if there's a 'lesson' here it's to avoid trying to guess what the overarching topics of songs are when their lyrics are largely obtuse puns and non sequiturs, or at least not to make any value judgements off the back of them

On 'robocop 4 - fuck off robocop' (incidentally, for the cynical and/or interested reader I post a live video recorded at a guitar shop of the song near the end of this response, complete with full lyrics) we will simply have to agree to disagree. However, if it is truly amongst the worst songs of the year then I am a giant bat and Pitchfork a cave into which I will shit golden effigies of your face.

okay this is pretty funny

Allow me to efuckidate in an easy-to-understand fuck-by-point manner

A+

I can honestly say that, whatever you think of the music, that the lyrics on 'the plot against common sense' are the best I've written (and yes - in either band) by a factor of FUCK LOADS(*4).

okay I think I'm getting this album

His response reads very much in line with the band's banter live, which is the funniest I've ever heard short of the Mekons.