Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

Is this a good self-summary?

NO.

When I write this it seems interesting, but when I read it, I'm bored.

I'm bored, too. Do not date this person.

I'm not considering dating him, just looking at others' profiles as models.

I mean, what could I possibly say about myself in a profile that will sound interesting or be in any way meaningful.

That guy's profile seemed at least not as generic as most, e.g., "I'm X years old, I love dogs, family, and summertime in Chicago. I'm from ___ and I'm loving life and looking for a great guy to share it with."

(NB, that is not a description of me. I don't love summertime in Chicago, family, or life.)

yes but does he love to laugh

Is there a template or guideline for a decent profile? Not a rhetorical question. What is some sort of starting point? ANY starting point??

the a/b a/b a/b a/b approach is lazy and cliche
just jump in and talk about things that mean something to you

lol

I guess I meant that was ok as a diversionary paragraph, but if there are no other sentences, dud.

just jump in and talk about things that mean something to you

this is the biggest self-conscious leap in that people are scared to identify with things and lock themselves in! or at least, I get where vague person is coming from

The first things people usually notice about me:
- I can be a little cryptic and intense. I enjoy playing with language. I'm quick on the uptake.
- I really like spending time around people who don't mind when I say "I don't know" and then are patient enough to explain.
I promise I will reciprocate.
- I'm a nice guy and I got some manners: I'll wait for you to order first; I'll hold the door; I'll buy the first drink and I'm gonna have to ask you to wait for a second if I gotta help the single mom get the stroller up the subway stairs.

The line I've heard from at least two women who contacted me was that they were tired of seeing the two worst answers "I'm just a regular guy I guess" and "EVERYTHING BE WACKY I LIKE MONTY PYTHON AND CALL OF DUTY WOOOOOOT"

Haha. That's good. Thanks. I'm not planning on using that as a "template" but I really appreciate your example. The humor is good. People seem to enjoy talking with me and find me funny when I pull my stupid head out of my ass, but it seems to be fucking superglued in there, at least w/r/t Online Dating.

xp - god, I know. I wind up doing an Alanis Morisette mash-up of both: I'm totally normal but I'm too quirky to live! which sucks.

stealing both of forks' posts and combining them to create a new profile

Honestly, I spent about three hours working on my profile. I'm in marketing; if I can't market myself, wtf.
Carefully chosen and arranged pictures and text that appear to be thrown together but are actually meticulously organized pays off. People will contact you.

Je55e here's a template i use:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bomkgXeDkE

No more lonely nights!

Though too many of them like fun.

ok so copy-editing people's profiles for them is maybe not a winning strategy. it was worth a shot.

The necessity of hanging loose about dates and times and schedules, and not getting too into anyone if you haven't met yet/have only met a few times/aren't officially "dating" or what-the-hell-ever is very trying to my nerves. I like certainty, and appointments, and knowing what I'm doing next Tuesday, and pleasurably anticipating spending time with people helps me ENJOY THEM MORE, but I can't anticipate anything too much lest it be canceled or fall through.

I was hoping to have a date w someone new tonight but it seems to have not worked out for timing. All dressed up today btw.

like you had a date scheduled and he cancelled? lame and flakey
i think that 'hanging loose' about dates and times and schedules but esp dates when in one's thirties is not so cool - we're busy people now, with more solid identities, and, i mean, i just think sticking to a schedule (aka a promise tbh) should be a given.

e.g., unless you are a flake yourself, do not date flakes

e.g., there is no try, there is only do

I have scheduling anxiety on stuff, so I can kind of see that but it's not a way to live w/other people

He didn't cancel, it was catch-as-catch-can text message planning, which is admittedly a terrible idea. I dressed like it was today just in case it turned out to be today. It didn't.

On the flip side, I have an awesome new necklace made of silicone that I'm enjoying the hell out of wearing.

catch-as-catch-can text message planning

this is a pretty mediocre idea unless you're both known to be able to meet up if you manage to both be free. distance, time, and transportation allowing.

I mean, unless it's the text message planning that involves texting "hey what's up" at 1AM followed by "cool I will meet you at your place"

that is kind of a different sort of 'dating'

hrm. well, i'm going to stand up for just saying NO to catch-as-catch-can text message planning/dating - THAT causes me anxiety!
xp

I'm also the "oh hey I'm hungry I wonder what that girl is doing and if she's eaten I'll text her" guy

It's a wonder anyone really ever makes plans with me

My nerves would not be able to take it.

Yeah, I am super excited to meet dude but I told him to pick a time and place and ask me out and see what happened. It just annoys everyone to have to have 300 msgs about it, and then you're "that annoying person with the text messages" to each other.

there is no try, there is only do

<3 <3 <3

rrrobyn, why aren't we sitting outside drinking beer together RIGHT NOW? It makes me so sad that we're not.

i think it's okay if you're already in a relationship to text/call on the spur of the moment as see what's up, go get food/drink, but if you're in the beginning of dating, let alone going on a first date, make a plan.

at the same time, and again, this is how i am now, in my mid-thirties and busy with my life (but not so busy to not go on dates), i'm almost insulted/suspicious when someone i'm just dating or even just someone i don't know all that well asks me to do something on the spur of the moment. however, when friends ask, it's cool. it's a familiarity thing.

xp
I KNOW! for real.

i would totally go for spur-of-the-moment beers with Laurel right now, for example

Somebody should, or this dress & heels combo is gonna be for nothing.

i would probably also go for spur-of-the-moment beers with some cute guy i randomly met and hadn't been trying to plan something date-y with
xp
somebody def should!

now I gotta set up some more travel plans so I can have beers with Laurel sometime too

i think that 'hanging loose' about dates and times and schedules but esp dates when in one's thirties is not so cool - we're busy people now, with more solid identities, and, i mean, i just think sticking to a schedule (aka a promise tbh) should be a given.

agree with this. couldn't hang out w/someone last week (was a similar catch-as-can text message planning where i similarly dressed up a bit that day and it fell through!), so we decided to hang out the following week, except instead of just nailing down a day, he was like, i'll text you early next week. so then i was like whatever.

Yeah I need to know what days I can make it to my muay thai class and still get loaded with my friends in my spare time. Pony up some actual days and times, boys who want to go out with us.

I ate lunch with a friend (she's a coworker but in another building, I was originally friends with her boyfriend but I get along well with both of them) and she was saying that due to them being fairly solitary people and him having a class some nights and some other standing plans, they pretty much just do stuff thursday-sunday and spend the rest of the week doing their own thing in their own homes or with friends.

I was like.... wait, you can actually do that?!? I have been cheated

I keep saying it!!! Live nearby and visit often.

Thursday through Sunday is pushing it btw.

Xp to prev discussion its also presumptuous bc even though my next week is open, who is to say that it will stay that way?? Most of my friends are all busy and we all schedule things!

Also to mh what do u feel cheated by?

I don't think it's constant contact thurs - sun but you know.

Cheated by the fact that I either feel guilt I shouldn't for enjoying having a goodly amount of alone time, or cheated by ending up with people who want to BE TOGETHER ALL THE TIME

I'm with you mh!

Not that you should do so too, because it's part of my defeatist, negative, run-away-from-anything-difficult-by-writing-it-off-as-impossible thinking, but I take it as evidence that "I am not made for other people".

Daet tonight.

I feel like this one could at least be a bro even if other things didn't work, which is a better sign than I've had for a while. I think we know some people in common even. Otoh that kinda puts pressure on not to do or say anything I'll regret b/c I might have to be around this person again in the future.

as long as it's not emotional weirdness it's ok, imo

Oh I just meant getting drunk and over-excited and talking a lot, loudly, possibly pounding on the bar for emphasis, and/or making out in public or something equally dumb. All par for the course, sadly.

This is why I don't have nice things easily embarrassed friends.