Guns n Roses: Critical Rehab

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The Monkees aren't in the hall of fame either and they have more good songs than KISS

Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 12 April 2012 19:45 (twelve years ago) link

maybe now that one is dead the hall will forgive them for being pre-fab

da croupier, Thursday, 12 April 2012 19:46 (twelve years ago) link

yeah totally. i look at the HOF and the Grammys and other things like that as, well, of course they're kind of silly and not wholly merit-based, but you can at least pretty easily triangulate what the canon they're trying to form is, and critique or comment on how close or far off the mark they get. (xpost to contenderizer)

some dude, Thursday, 12 April 2012 19:48 (twelve years ago) link

didn't motley crue and GnR pretty much hate each other? i think like somebody pulled somebodies pants down at the troubador or some shit i can't quite remember

Did you deliberate quote Axl Rose from "Welcome to the Jungle" there? According to Nick Kent's "the Dark Stuff": "FUCKIN' MOTLEY CRUE GAVE FUCKIN' STEVIE FUCKIN' AJAX TO SNORT! FUCKED HIM UP!!"

Poliopolice, Thursday, 12 April 2012 20:26 (twelve years ago) link

Oops, that was a quote from "Paradise City"-- my mistake

Poliopolice, Thursday, 12 April 2012 20:34 (twelve years ago) link

This showed up on Longform today:
http://www.heretodaygonetohell.com/articles/showarticle.php?articleid=62

the hairy office thing (Eazy), Friday, 13 April 2012 21:09 (twelve years ago) link

that article paints a charming portrait of Axl Rose, at least at the beginning.

Poliopolice, Friday, 13 April 2012 22:06 (twelve years ago) link

i don't care!

scott seward, Saturday, 14 April 2012 20:42 (twelve years ago) link

saying he felt neither "wanted or respected".

So is this Brit grammar, bad BBC grammar, or misquoting Axl's bad grammar? Because if Axl doesn't know it's neither/nor, not neither/or, I'll be very sad.

Josh in Chicago, Sunday, 15 April 2012 17:52 (twelve years ago) link

Bad BBC grammar. Pretty sure that, for all his faults, Axl can speak English proper.

Cheggers Plays Populous (snoball), Sunday, 15 April 2012 17:58 (twelve years ago) link

I was just listening to "One in a Million." In my mind, the controversy about the lyrics were totally overblown, but shit, these are still shocking.

Poliopolice, Sunday, 15 April 2012 18:42 (twelve years ago) link

yeah, it's pretty hideous. too bad the tune and vocal are so great.

BEMORE SUPER FABBY (contenderizer), Sunday, 15 April 2012 19:48 (twelve years ago) link

Yeah, it's an acoustic juggernaut, if only the lyrics were different. I read a grip of gnr biographies andeverybody's take onit is different. Duff and slash both purported to accept axl's explanation of a fictional narrator for the song, while being embarassed in their private lives and relationships. I think Adler says he believed that axl's http://kkkorner.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/nbomb5.jpg?w=350&h=259 was onlyon referenceto certain kinds of black people.

beachville, Sunday, 15 April 2012 22:34 (twelve years ago) link

Huh. Niceautoreplace.

beachville, Sunday, 15 April 2012 22:34 (twelve years ago) link

Also, please note that my opinion of adlers opinion is that he should walk off a fucking cliff.

beachville, Sunday, 15 April 2012 22:35 (twelve years ago) link

Backstage at a Rolling Stones show in 1989 that GNR and Living Colour were both opening, Rose supposedly approached a visibly pissed Vernon Reid and said, "Hey, I didn't mean that YOU guys were n*ggers!"

Dancing with Mr. T (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Sunday, 15 April 2012 22:36 (twelve years ago) link

Parts of the song that are unassailable:

1,2,1,2,3,4
(Whistling and modulating rhythm guitar)
Guess I needed sometime to get away
I needed some piece of mind
Some piece of mind that'll stay
So I thumbed it down to Sixth and L.A.
Maybe a Greyhound could be my way

and then it gets completely and totally assailable.

and then it launches into

ou're one in a million
Yeah, that's what you are
You're one in a million, babe
You're a shooting star
Maybe someday we'll see you
Before you make us cry
You know we tried to reach you
But you were much too high

which is just basically fucking awesome.

then the telegraph piano and vamping in the last minute or so of the song.

God, that fucking hillbilly chickenshit.

beachville, Sunday, 15 April 2012 22:49 (twelve years ago) link

Oh yeah, here from 4:37 - 4:57

http://youtu.be/r_2jSPQYlLY

beachville, Sunday, 15 April 2012 22:59 (twelve years ago) link

beachville otm, the rest of the song is so fucking good that i get so mad he had to add that happy horseshit to ruin it

heated debate over derpy hooves (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Sunday, 15 April 2012 23:02 (twelve years ago) link

Was this the last E-grade Christgau gave?

G N' R Lies [Geffen, 1988]
Axl's voice is a power tool with attachments, Slash's guitar a hype, the groove potent "hard rock," and the songwriting not without its virtues. So figure musical quality at around C plus and take the grade as a call to boycott, a reminder to clean livers who yearn for the wild side that the necessary link between sex-and-drugs and rock-and-roll is a Hollywood fantasy. Anyway, this band isn't even sex and drugs--it's dicking her ass before you smack up with her hatpin. (No wonder they want to do an AIDS benefit.) "One in a Million"--"Immigrants and faggots/They make no sense to me/They come to our country/And think they'll do as they please/Like start some mini-Iran/Or spread some fucking disease/They talk so many goddamn ways/It's all Greek to me"--is disgusting because it's heartfelt and disgusting again because it's a grandstand play. It gives away the "joke" (to quote the chickenshit "apologies" on the cover) about the offed girlfriend the way "Turn around bitch I've got a use for you" gives away "Sweet Child o' Mine." Back when they hit the racks, these posers talked a lot of guff about suicide. I'm still betting they don't have it in them to jump. E

Dancing with Mr. T (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Sunday, 15 April 2012 23:09 (twelve years ago) link

"Anyway, this band isn't even sex and drugs--it's dicking her ass before you smack up with her hatpin."

wtf

charlie h, Monday, 16 April 2012 01:07 (twelve years ago) link

I'm not ever sure what that means, but somehow he seems right... even though Appetite is all about sex and drugs

Poliopolice, Monday, 16 April 2012 01:16 (twelve years ago) link

The compilation Ultimate Worship Music got an E in 2004, and Wow Hits 2003 got an E+ in 2002.

da croupier, Monday, 16 April 2012 01:23 (twelve years ago) link

Smacking up with a hatpin? WAT

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Monday, 16 April 2012 01:25 (twelve years ago) link

he means shooting up, not assaulting

┗|∵|┓ (sic), Monday, 16 April 2012 01:30 (twelve years ago) link

ass my dick up, smack my pin up

some dude, Monday, 16 April 2012 01:35 (twelve years ago) link

is disgusting because it's heartfelt and disgusting again because it's a grandstand play.

this has always struck me as one of the most nonsensical things I've ever read in any piece of music criticism.

Matt Armstrong, Monday, 16 April 2012 03:34 (twelve years ago) link

Fuck all of these bands. Kraftwerk isn't in .

Reality Check Cashing Services (Elvis Telecom), Monday, 16 April 2012 04:02 (twelve years ago) link

then the telegraph piano and vamping in the last minute or so of the song

Holy shit, seriously, I've had piano-fade stuck in my head a lot over the past five or so years, and I could never remember where it was from, just that it was at the end of something exhausting (in a good way). Love the whole second side of Lies, "I Used to Love Her" not as much as the others though. Love the electric guitar on "One in a Million."

the hairy office thing (Eazy), Monday, 16 April 2012 04:11 (twelve years ago) link

E+ !

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 16 April 2012 13:50 (twelve years ago) link

Gentleman's E

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 16 April 2012 13:50 (twelve years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YstFFBzNzPo

beachville, Monday, 16 April 2012 17:04 (twelve years ago) link

who's singing?

Mississippi Butt Hurt (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 16 April 2012 17:06 (twelve years ago) link

Myles Kennedy, the guy who replaced the Creed singer and almost replaced Robert Plant in the aborted Led Zep reunion.

da croupier, Monday, 16 April 2012 17:07 (twelve years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mI709ie_fZw

beachville, Monday, 16 April 2012 17:08 (twelve years ago) link

Can't watch the clip now and I don't know any Alter Bridge songs by memory, so I dunno if this guy is an amazing singer or just the chillest bro in the business.

da croupier, Monday, 16 April 2012 17:09 (twelve years ago) link

They couldn't have gotten, like, Sheryl Crow?

Wait, was Izzy there? Fuck Axl. No Izzy, no cred.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 16 April 2012 17:10 (twelve years ago) link

Izzy seems too chill for this kind of thing.

beachville, Monday, 16 April 2012 17:13 (twelve years ago) link

someone shoulda worn a "WHERE'S IZZY" shirt like in the "Don't Cry" video

some dude, Monday, 16 April 2012 17:17 (twelve years ago) link

Josh OTM. Izzy not even mentioned in that NYTimes piece = you don't get it.

all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Monday, 16 April 2012 17:17 (twelve years ago) link

weird every time i see axl it seems like he's gone up or down like 30-40 lbs in weight

he's not singing too bad in that clip actually compared to other stuff i've seen

really brings home how awesome slash is, those guitar solos are so composed you kinda have to do them exactly as the album

Mississippi Butt Hurt (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 16 April 2012 17:17 (twelve years ago) link

izzy did release a statement via duff at least: http://blogs.seattleweekly.com/reverb/2012/04/izzy_stradlin_rock_hall_of_fa.php

some dude, Monday, 16 April 2012 17:21 (twelve years ago) link

I want a t-shirt that read "Izzy don't Tweet, etc."

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 16 April 2012 17:22 (twelve years ago) link

Izzy was the soul of that band.

Poliopolice, Monday, 16 April 2012 17:57 (twelve years ago) link

Are there any bands where the "soul" isn't the quiet one?

da croupier, Monday, 16 April 2012 18:53 (twelve years ago) link

Happy Mondays?

Jilly Boel and the Eltones (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 16 April 2012 18:55 (twelve years ago) link

yeah, the ones where they're not called that because they're also the "face" or the "voice" etc. of the band (xpost)

some dude, Monday, 16 April 2012 18:56 (twelve years ago) link

Black Flag (Chuck Dukowski)

Poliopolice, Monday, 16 April 2012 18:56 (twelve years ago) link


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