vadge horror stories

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"Get out of the house right now, YOUR VAGINA IS CHOKING ON FINGERS!!!"

― nickn (nickn), Thursday, 10 June 2004 19:04 (nineteen years ago) link

"And then the veterenarian said, "Oh my god lady, that's not a hairless mexican chihuahua, THAT'S A VAGINA WITH RABIES!!!!!!!!!"

― Sengai, Thursday, 10 June 2004 21:34 (nineteen years ago) link

It turns out that the maniac had already killed the dog, and the girl awoke to find "Vagina's can lick too" scrawled on the wall in blood.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 10 June 2004 22:25 (nineteen years ago) link

Never flash your headlights at an approaching vagina.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 10 June 2004 22:43 (nineteen years ago) link

http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/04/uk_big_brother_housemates/img/9.jpg

i'm really, really sorry

― don (don), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:00 (nineteen years ago) link

(not *that* sorry though)

― don (don), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:00 (nineteen years ago) link

"... and when I woke up I was in a bathtub full of ice and MY VADGE WAS MISSING"

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:04 (nineteen years ago) link

oh no can't breathe laughing too hard

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:06 (nineteen years ago) link

Q: What do you eat in Australia if you're some sort of pussy?

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:06 (nineteen years ago) link

Um, vadgemite?

― martin m. (mushrush), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:07 (nineteen years ago) link

quiche

― the surface noise is so overwhelming that it renders the contents of the re (ele, Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:08 (nineteen years ago) link

thank you, martin.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:10 (nineteen years ago) link

The Pit And The Pudendum

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:11 (nineteen years ago) link

STOP IT I'M TRYING TO WORK

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:14 (nineteen years ago) link

Dan on top form :)

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:17 (nineteen years ago) link

I believe it is more commonly known as vaginamite, often referred to at the same time as penis paste (Peanut paste) by primary school age children....and the man I live with.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:17 (nineteen years ago) link

penis butter and vaginamite

― the surface noise is another unwelcome bonus resulting from a preamp's inab (ele, Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:18 (nineteen years ago) link

...and him ^

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:19 (nineteen years ago) link

uhuh.

― jed_ (jed), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:33 (nineteen years ago) link

"I soaked my hands in it, Vadge!"

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:42 (nineteen years ago) link

"Vadge! Vadge! The rains are 'ere!"

― New No New Age Advanced Ambient Motor Music Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:56 (nineteen years ago) link

all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy
all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy

― don (don), Thursday, 10 June 2004 23:59 (nineteen years ago) link

"Wash your vadge, Geoffrey!"

― New No New Age Advanced Ambient Motor Music Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 11 June 2004 00:01 (nineteen years ago) link

hey don, does my presence here make it easy 4 U 2 guess whom UR sending your physical s******o CD 2?

crosspost

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Friday, 11 June 2004 00:02 (nineteen years ago) link

i just used the Force mate

― don (don), Friday, 11 June 2004 00:03 (nineteen years ago) link

aye, that's probably a simpler way...

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Friday, 11 June 2004 00:04 (nineteen years ago) link

i sensed your presents

― don (don), Friday, 11 June 2004 00:04 (nineteen years ago) link

b'doom tsch

i think it's looking like an hour of nonstop rockabilly 4 U...maybe a shirelles song 2 take away from an otherwise opressivley male CD...

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Friday, 11 June 2004 00:06 (nineteen years ago) link

my knowledge of rockabilly is zero so that sounds cool. would you prefer mixed audio, unmixed audio or mp3 cd-r?

― don (don), Friday, 11 June 2004 00:07 (nineteen years ago) link

I think i'd prefer an audio CD. an mp3 cd would just be too mixed and wouldn't have that personalised one sitting joy of the mix CD. it's up 2 U how U wanna stick it 2gether....

no mixing skills on the CD i'm making, i'm afraid...

― Robbie Lumsden (Wallace Stevens HQ), Friday, 11 June 2004 00:09 (nineteen years ago) link

no problem.. it's a bonus IMO. looking forward to it!

― don (don), Friday, 11 June 2004 00:14 (nineteen years ago) link

are you there, vadge? it's me, margaret.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 11 June 2004 00:20 (nineteen years ago) link

[annpying kid]:i see dead vadges

― don (don), Friday, 11 June 2004 00:23 (nineteen years ago) link

Not a horror story per se but last night my roommate announced loudly to a couple of guys (not 'potentials', they're a couple of her gay friends) that "I shave my cooch!". This was followed by lots of giggling.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 11 June 2004 00:24 (nineteen years ago) link

PLEASE TELL ME you said "You don't do that on my couch, too!?!?!?!?"

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 11 June 2004 00:28 (nineteen years ago) link

alas no. I've really got to think on my feet a little better.

― Gear! (Gear!), Friday, 11 June 2004 00:30 (nineteen years ago) link

oh who is don on s*****o?

― jed_ (jed), Friday, 11 June 2004 01:16 (nineteen years ago) link

snd

― don (don), Friday, 11 June 2004 01:23 (nineteen years ago) link

I vahnt to sahhhhk your vahhhhhhhhdge

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 11 June 2004 02:02 (nineteen years ago) link

hey that's *my* pickup line

― the surface noise is another unwelcome bonus resulting from a preamp's inab (ele, Friday, 11 June 2004 02:05 (nineteen years ago) link

A friend at university had to have an operation to sort out her twisted vagina, and couldn't have sex with my best friend until she'd done so.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 11 June 2004 16:20 (nineteen years ago) link

(theramin music)

Twisted Tales of...

TWISTED VAGINAS!

― martin m. (mushrush), Friday, 11 June 2004 16:23 (nineteen years ago) link

You're the va-gina!
Twisted va-gina!

― HEY HEY HEY (Dan Perry), Friday, 11 June 2004 16:28 (nineteen years ago) link

I'm disappointed by how this thread was derailed. More true stories please.

― Ask For Samantha (thatgirl), Friday, 11 June 2004 16:34 (nineteen years ago) link

all work and no vadge makes jack a dull boy...

all work and no vadge makes a dull boy jack

― nickn (nickn), Friday, 11 June 2004 20:52 (nineteen years ago) link

Taking Sides: Silly scatalogical jokes vs True stories about vaginal trauma

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 11 June 2004 23:19 (nineteen years ago) link

nickn wins

― don (don), Friday, 11 June 2004 23:32 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.eblox.com/lechner/hygene.jpg

― Jon Williams!!!!! (ROFFLE!@!@!@) (ex machina), Friday, 18 June 2004 16:57 (nineteen years ago) link

LYSOL?????????????????????

― VengaDan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 18 June 2004 17:02 (nineteen years ago) link

that's what they used to use in back-alley abortions!

― stockholm cindy (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 June 2004 17:04 (nineteen years ago) link

Skipping 464 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Most unfortunate author name?

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/P/B0051HEJ86.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

― ornamental cabbage (James Morrison), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 02:14 (ten years ago) link

no relation

― the Quim of Bendigo (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 02:14 (ten years ago) link

lol adam

― ¬╡▫ ▫╞⌠ (sic), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 03:44 (ten years ago) link

six years pass...

Actually Lysol was advertised as a contraceptive. Let's dig in. https://t.co/I0gx92kCUA
— Gillian Frank (@1gillianfrank1) June 10, 2019

― Arugula Raccoon (DJP), Monday, 10 June 2019 21:45 (four years ago) link

ten months pass...

“We must be clear that under no circumstance should our disinfectant products be administered into the human body (through injection, ingestion or any other route),”

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/apr/24/trump-lysol-injection-claim-maker-hits-back

― Madchen, Friday, 24 April 2020 15:25 (three years ago) link

loooool I was hoping this is why this thread was revived

― DJP, Friday, 24 April 2020 16:00 (three years ago) link

The Pit And The Pudendum

I peaked early on this site

― DJP, Friday, 24 April 2020 18:52 (three years ago) link

Alice in her party dress
would-be suitors skulk away
needs to freshen up a bit
before she starts attracting strays
Lysol douche will do the trick
brisk as cool spring rains that fall she'll
spray it where the sun don't shine per-
-haps she ought to use it all to-dayayayayayay
― J0hn Darn1elle (J0hn Darn1elle), Monday, January 24, 2005 4:44 PM (fifteen years ago)

is this on the Goths album?

― sarahell, Friday, 24 April 2020 19:02 (three years ago) link

Love this thread so much.

― Madchen, Friday, 24 April 2020 19:42 (three years ago) link

oh no the dreadful incident link is broken

― mookieproof, Friday, 24 April 2020 20:05 (three years ago) link

little did we know then that one day the lysol douche would be president

― He is married to Brogmus, Linda. (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 24 April 2020 20:10 (three years ago) link

did you leave town? or did you stay?

― "...And the Gods Socially Distanced" (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 24 April 2020 20:33 (three years ago) link

tyvm

― mookieproof, Friday, 24 April 2020 20:54 (three years ago) link

two years pass...

https://i.imgur.com/PEM9wq6.jpg

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 19 June 2022 00:19 (one year ago) link

look this is the relevant thread okay just roll with it

― Tracer Hand, Sunday, 19 June 2022 00:19 (one year ago) link

Bravo!

― Madchen, Sunday, 19 June 2022 08:07 (one year ago) link

I like to think the advert has a subtly codified subtext:
https://i.imgur.com/Advf1wJ.jpg

― Ashley Pomeroy, Sunday, 19 June 2022 16:36 (one year ago) link

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