Unemployed Watercooler Fridge Buzz Commiseration, Alienation and Mental Anti-Stagnation Society (DNRIYHM)

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Another nibble for a job in a rural Oxfordshire town with CASTLES and LUMPS and looks tweely pretty as fuck so bad I want to go and live in a gingerbread and marzipan cottage there. But alas, it looks far too developer-y for me and not reporting oriented. Specialisation, I hate you so much. It's like all this stuff seems exactly the same to headhunters when they see "SQL" but you have to read between the lines of a job description.

I've no doubt that I could do it, if placed in front of the tools, it's just that I have very little experience in doing it, so convincing someone to let you do it is tough.

Popcorn Supergay Receiver (Masonic Boom), Thursday, 5 April 2012 10:37 (five years ago) Permalink



I mean, I know. Perspective and all, but he *is* tiny. Squeeee.

Popcorn Supergay Receiver (Masonic Boom), Thursday, 5 April 2012 12:08 (five years ago) Permalink


^^^^^droppin' hints

Popcorn Supergay Receiver (Masonic Boom), Tuesday, 10 April 2012 10:17 (five years ago) Permalink

Job interview today. First one in I don't know how long, like I've forgotten how to do them.

Been told I have to take a SQL test, so I boned up on code, then got told yesterday it will be "mostly on theory" like WTF is the "theory" or SQL? Are these the things I missed going to art school instead of doing a computer science degree?

Anyway I don't even know why I'm posting on this thread, it's like tumbleweed and I should accept it.

Popcorn Supergay Receiver (Masonic Boom), Wednesday, 11 April 2012 08:47 (five years ago) Permalink

Relational theory maybe? I dunno, I didn't do computer science either.

The Eyeball Of Hull (Colonel Poo), Wednesday, 11 April 2012 11:48 (five years ago) Permalink

Entity Integrity? WTF is Entity Integrity?

And all that 1st form, 2nd form, 3rd form normal? I have no idea.

It was a super hard test, and every time I felt confident, it had an algorithm to make the questions harder if you got them right. Fiendish.

Anyway I was totally bummed coz I only got an 85 on the test, but they were really impressed with that anyway.

We shall see.

Popcorn Supergay Receiver (Masonic Boom), Thursday, 12 April 2012 08:13 (five years ago) Permalink

Yeah normal forms is relational theory stuff. I did look up all that stuff when I was looking to leave my last job, although my new job doesn't really involve much hardcore SQL at all. In fact it involves almost no SQL because most of the database access is handled (or obfuscated as it seems to me at the moment) via an ORM.

I was reading a book called SQL and Relational Theory that goes into those concepts. Some of it is only really useful on an academic basis, like having any nullable columns at all diverges from the relational model and is wrong. Try doing that in any database I've ever worked in will leave you in over-normalisation hell very quickly.

The Eyeball Of Hull (Colonel Poo), Thursday, 12 April 2012 11:38 (five years ago) Permalink

I read up on all that stuff when I was learning database design, decided I would build everything to 3nf, then forgot all about it. I guess it's all just second nature now - I would probably have failed yr test.

Also unknown as Zora (Surfing At Work), Thursday, 12 April 2012 11:57 (five years ago) Permalink

I don't know that I ever learned any of that stuff but it just kind of came instinctively through having a balance between well stored data and easily inputtable and accessible data and not having nightmare queries.

Either way, I've been called back for a second interview and the CEO wants to meet me (apparently this is standard for this company tho still nerve-wracking) so, um, yay me?

I guess it's just weird coz I'm realising how much my confidence was ripped to shreds by the stuff that went down at my last job, but coming back to realise that my skills are highly desirable to some companies, and the personality quirks that some places see as negative, others see as major selling points?

White Chocolate Cheesecake, Thursday, 12 April 2012 12:47 (five years ago) Permalink

yay you!

Also unknown as Zora (Surfing At Work), Thursday, 12 April 2012 19:16 (five years ago) Permalink


Algerian Goalkeeper, Thursday, 12 April 2012 19:46 (five years ago) Permalink


Mark G, Thursday, 12 April 2012 21:11 (five years ago) Permalink

I really wish ILX had a reverse killfile so you could prevent your posts from ever being seen by someone. When it's like, "You don't like me, I don't like you. If you can't read me without sticking your condescending oar in, then just stay off threads you can see I started and don't fucking read me at all."

I was having a really super super good day, and now it's taken specific dudes who just can't help sticking their oars in, and I'm angry and riled when I should be going to bed. Why did I even look?

White Chocolate Cheesecake, Thursday, 12 April 2012 23:27 (five years ago) Permalink

hurrah for the second interview, when is it?

liberté, égalité, beyoncé (lex pretend), Friday, 13 April 2012 11:07 (five years ago) Permalink

Next Tuesday.

I feel very much like I'm coming down with the flu today, so I really hope I'm over it by then. :-/

Popcorn Supergay Receiver (Masonic Boom), Friday, 13 April 2012 11:18 (five years ago) Permalink

that boots first defence stuff is pretty effective ime - a couple of times when i've felt like i'm coming down with something i've taken it, and i've still gone under the weather a bit but have still been functional, able to work and think and move etc

liberté, égalité, beyoncé (lex pretend), Friday, 13 April 2012 11:46 (five years ago) Permalink

Yes but that would involve getting out of bed and walking up to Boots (which would necessitate having a shower and changing out of my pyjamas.)

I think I'll just load up on Vitamin C and try to sleep. I've taken ibuprofen and codeine and it's not moved my headache at all, so I think it's best to just lie very still with a pillow over my head and a hat covering mine ears.

Popcorn Supergay Receiver (Masonic Boom), Friday, 13 April 2012 11:58 (five years ago) Permalink

Hope you're feeling better now, my own experience is that these treatments take unaccoutably different amounts of time to kick in from one occasion to another, even if the dose is the same.

Good luck with the second interview! I'm sure you'll be over the flu by then.

I very rarely post new threads of my own these days, but I would be interested to know what Watercooler folk think about

this thread about stimuli, decision making and consciousness

Grandpont Genie, Friday, 13 April 2012 13:51 (five years ago) Permalink

Although I have nothing against philosophical discussion, I don't feel like I have the knowledge or expertise to contribute?

Nice picture of Thom Yorke's tits, though. Totally approve.

Popcorn Supergay Receiver (Masonic Boom), Friday, 13 April 2012 15:19 (five years ago) Permalink

I has a job offer!

We've agreed that I start 1st May. I'm going to go to Cornwall for a week's holiday before then to clear my head and get rid of any leftover bad vibes from the way my last role ended - and then I will have to abandon ILX during office hours in order to concentrate on my awesome new role.

Although I can't talk about the company or the role because I'll be dealing with some sensitive information, I'm actually really excited about what it entails. This could be great.

Popcorn Supergay Receiver (Masonic Boom), Tuesday, 17 April 2012 13:09 (five years ago) Permalink


Mark G, Tuesday, 17 April 2012 13:18 (five years ago) Permalink

looks like it's all worked out brilliantly - first time of asking, and i think i saw you tweet that the commute's easy too? and time for a holiday first too!

liberté, égalité, beyoncé (lex pretend), Tuesday, 17 April 2012 13:25 (five years ago) Permalink

Yeah, it's in Croydon which is half an hour away by bus, and in the opposite direction from London so not crowded.

I'm just so... that was too easy.

Because I'm used to looking for a job being a long, drawn out and torturous experience of desperation and settling for the least horrible option. This has just been so different. Partly because my headhunter was a dream to deal with - partly because it does just seem like a good fit between what they need and what they have (which means the headhunter did their research really well.)

But I suppose it's because I saved up enough money that I wasn't desperate. I didn't put my CV in for any jobs I didn't really want to be doing. I think I submitted maybe half a dozen CVs, instead of a hundred. I was really choosey, even when just speaking to headhunters about what they had on offer.

I just keep looking for the catch because this is literally the only job I've properly interviewed for (not counting phone interviews, which don't count) and ... it can't be that easy, you know? It just feels like sheer blind luck. I've had such shitty job luck for the past 5 years, how can I have suddenly got a burst of good luck in the middle of a double dip recession?

Popcorn Supergay Receiver (Masonic Boom), Tuesday, 17 April 2012 13:35 (five years ago) Permalink

well, not entirely luck - you know you're skilled, prob more than most candidates, in your field, and the headhunter really does sound like the key to matching up your skills with a company that needs them - where did you hook up w/the headhunter? to have a go-between matching you up rather than flailing at job applications yourself sounds amazing.

liberté, égalité, beyoncé (lex pretend), Tuesday, 17 April 2012 13:40 (five years ago) Permalink

I guess I should really have more confidence in my skills - like, taking a programming test I so thought I was going to fail, and then scoring higher than any candidate they'd ever seen. But also accepting the things that are negatives in one job are viewed as positives in another.

Like, being a person who is really concerned with ethics and honesty and accuracy was such a negative in my last role - because that was a company that basically sold lies. Like, the Beauty Myth stuff they were pushing all day long, it is one giant lie, so I shouldn't have been surprised when they ended up deeply implicated in a massive scandal. But when the company you're interviewing for has as part of its ethos an evaluating, watch-doggy and sometimes even regulatory role, to turn up and say "I will never lie, not even with statistics, and I am never going to sugar-coat data ever again" then they view that as a massive positive and makes you more qualified for the role. I was so scared that the reason I left my last job was going to be a massive negative black mark on my Permanent Record, but to these people, it was like "you are EXACTLY the kind of person we are looking for."

But yeah, the headhunter did some really good matching and filtering and it's just such a relief to have dealt with someone who was like that, instead of those kinds of agencies where they just try to shoehorn you into whatever is open. If anyone ever needs an IT agent, email me and I'll pass on the guy's details, because he was really good.

Popcorn Supergay Receiver (Masonic Boom), Tuesday, 17 April 2012 13:53 (five years ago) Permalink

Hey all. Bit of a headfuck round our way this week. Work is still bonkers. My April writing challenge has been a washout due to work. Pater is having a meltdown. And now a long-lost uncle has crawled out of the woodwork and is causing consternation. Pigeons, meet cat.

Also unknown as Zora (Surfing At Work), Wednesday, 18 April 2012 20:36 (five years ago) Permalink

Ms Masonic have you seen

Algerian Goalkeeper, Monday, 30 April 2012 14:36 (five years ago) Permalink

One of them was Blur guitarist Graham Coxon, who is performing at the town's Princess Pavilion later.

Algerian Goalkeeper, Monday, 30 April 2012 16:09 (five years ago) Permalink

Just got sent home early (before the lunch they pay for, typically my sole quality meal of the day) from temp hospital job because I've got a cold and you can't have a cold in a hospital. Also informed that "because we're working so fast" I won't be needed on Friday, and that the final week I may not be needed at all. So there goes my plan for July rent. Fucking fuck. I'm gonna go home and sleep for 20 hours or so.

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 14:38 (five years ago) Permalink

that sucks hoos

Algerian Goalkeeper, Wednesday, 9 May 2012 16:53 (five years ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

Wau, I am feeling so crappy. Still not unemployed :( The b@nk just extended me until end Sept. Why do I not have the bollocks to just say 'no thanks'? I am exhausted, frustrated, and creatively bankrupt.


Also unknown as Zora (Surfing At Work), Thursday, 31 May 2012 20:33 (five years ago) Permalink

Because it's really scary to take that step into the unknown? Because a bird in the hand in a tough economic climate etc?

I know I owe you email! I thought of you the other day when I read the Guardian banker blog and they did the IT consultant.

All I can say is, things sometimes work out. Like, I am 100x happier in my current job. It's like a black cloud of anger & constant stress / bitterness / unhappiness has been lifted. Sometimes you gotta just close your eyes and take the leap - but it takes a lot of trust, mostly in yourself.

Dixie Narco Martenot (White Chocolate Cheesecake), Friday, 1 June 2012 06:44 (five years ago) Permalink

I'm not unemployed any more, but this seems to be the thread where I talked most about woods.

I've been reading Roger Deakin's Wildwood and now I am consumed with the desire to visit David Nash's Ash Dome.

22 (there's that bloody number again) ash trees in a woods, all bent inwards in a kind of dance to form a dome, eventually to be woven together.


I am liking the Roger Deakin book loads, but for some reason I keep having to stop reading it to have a bit of a think and almost a cry because it's so full of hiraeth but also beauty. Things which are already lost and things which are slowly being lost.

a cake made of all their eyes (White Chocolate Cheesecake), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 21:44 (five years ago) Permalink

...and with leafs on.


^^^^this basically makes me want to give up art forever, it's so lovely.

a cake made of all their eyes (White Chocolate Cheesecake), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 21:46 (five years ago) Permalink

that last one is a black metal logo right?

it looks like something rupert the bear would wear (Algerian Goalkeeper), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 21:48 (five years ago) Permalink

Nothing to do with metal. Hippies if anything.

a cake made of all their eyes (White Chocolate Cheesecake), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 21:49 (five years ago) Permalink

wolves in the throne room?

it looks like something rupert the bear would wear (Algerian Goalkeeper), Wednesday, 13 June 2012 21:55 (five years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

Ah, my unscheduled absence has been longer than I realised.

Don't worry about the email WCC, I know you will be busy wandering in the lands of New Job and I'm very pleased about that!

I thought of you on Sunday when they ran a piece about Cornish independence in the Observer - did you see it?

Today I summoned the strength to tell my bosses I wanted to quit. Senior boss offered to restructure the project so I have some autonomy. Junior boss was pretty peeved. Don't know how I feel.

Also unknown as Zora (Surfing At Work), Wednesday, 27 June 2012 22:08 (five years ago) Permalink

Come work for us! We're on an almost-scary boom right now.

I'm just cautious of the word "restructuring." It's never not meant "you do way more work, with less help" in my jobs.

White Chocolate Cheesecake, Thursday, 28 June 2012 08:54 (five years ago) Permalink

two months pass...

I woke up with the words "Fourier Transform" going through my head over and over. This confuses me, as I don't know what a Fourier Transform is, or where I would have heard of it, or why it's stuck in there, but it is.

I'm feeling a bit otherwise this weekend, which is mostly PMT or something. The usual crap. I'm sick of feeling misunderstood. I'm sick of feeling like the words I say or type cannot express the feelings in my head adequately to other people in a way that they actually understand what I mean. And I'm sick of feeling like other people are some species I do not currently and may never be able to understand. Not a nice feeling, but a familiar one. It's like the Welsh Dream, but we're all actually speaking English.

I don't know why I even typed this. Gravedh a wra gwaynya pub-prys.

The Kelvin Helmholtz Instability (White Chocolate Cheesecake), Sunday, 16 September 2012 08:15 (five years ago) Permalink

three months pass...

god dammit. god dammit. god dammit.

tell the kids it's 卵 (clouds), Wednesday, 26 December 2012 23:10 (four years ago) Permalink

sup clouds

Confused Turtle (Zora), Thursday, 27 December 2012 00:48 (four years ago) Permalink

might not be able to pay rent this month; not a single potential employer has responded. i've been looking for two months.

my partner has been carrying most of the burden since my last job ended and i'm scared that it'll ruin our relationship unless i find something soon.

i'm just so so sick of this. i can't do it.

tell the kids it's 卵 (clouds), Thursday, 27 December 2012 01:03 (four years ago) Permalink

fuck it, i'm using part of my last $20 to buy another bottle of booze.

tell the kids it's 卵 (clouds), Thursday, 27 December 2012 01:18 (four years ago) Permalink

best wishes, clouds, that is a horrible place to be and i hope you find something soon

a panda, Malmö (a passing spacecadet), Thursday, 27 December 2012 01:22 (four years ago) Permalink

I know how stressful it is when you get made redundant and have to whore yourself out again. It is unendurable shit sometimes. Best of luck Clouds.

Damo Suzuki's Parrot, Thursday, 27 December 2012 01:48 (four years ago) Permalink

clouds, didn't you intentionally not return to a job that would have taken you back and now you're avoiding applying where you might have to endure the indignity of "a tucked in polo shirt"? a shitty job is still a job, and it's hard to have tons of sympathy re a relationship-ruining financial crisis that could easily be avoided.....

(*・_・)ノ⌒ ☆ (Je55e), Thursday, 27 December 2012 21:35 (four years ago) Permalink

it is hard to have sympathy, isn't it

nevaeh for evaeh (clouds), Thursday, 27 December 2012 21:47 (four years ago) Permalink


got a call from temp agency, asked me abt availability and stuff. hoping for something but hope it doesn't fall during my family visit.

nevaeh for evaeh (clouds), Thursday, 27 December 2012 21:48 (four years ago) Permalink

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