2012 Wrestling Thread: Jericho returns tonight, Dragon is champion, RAW and TNA still unwatchable...

oh man! I am glad I don't remember any particulars of that match (though I love Big Show, but not really for his wrestling).

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

not an april fools

reverse benoit:

NOLA.com reports that Stephen A. Arceneaux II, 24, from Destrehan, Louisiana died while watching WrestleMania 28. The reports indicate he was choked out by his 14 year old cousin and pronounced dead at 10:39pm local time.

NOLA.com wrote the following:

"According to St. Charles Parish Sheriff Greg Champagne, Arceneaux had gathered with friends at a home on Murray Hill Drive to watch the pay-per-view event 'Wrestlemania 28' on television when he and a 14-year-old cousin began to wrestle on an inflated mattress on the floor. The juvenile, who is 5 feet, 6 inches tall and weighs 110 pounds, placed his arm around the neck of Arceneaux, who was 5 feet, 10 inches tall and weighed 220 pounds, in a move commonly known as a 'rear naked choke hold' for 30 to 40 seconds.

"Witnesses reported that Arceneaux said he would not give up or 'tap out.'

YOU GO AND END IT

predictions for next year's undertaker WM match

1. undertaker performs his trademark strikes on whoever he fights
2. other dude comes back and then bashes undertaker to an inch of his life
3. undertaker comes back briefly then gets fucked up again
4. other dude whoever it is performs their signature move on the undertaker
5. undertaker kicks out just before 3 count
6. some shit happens here
7. other dude whoever it is performs their signature move twice on the undertaker
8. the cover gets delayed a bit, undertaker then kicks out just before 3 count
9. other dude whoever it is performs their signature move 3 times on the undertaker
10. undertaker kicks out just before 3 count
11. other dude gets frustrated
12. undertaker somehow comes back to life, sits up, then performs the last ride or choke slam or whatever
13. other dude kicks out
14. other dude whoever it is performs their signature move 4 times on the undertaker
15. undertaker kicks out just before 3 count
16. other dude gets frustrated
17. other dude whoever it is performs their signature move 5 times on the undertaker
18. other dude whoever it is attempts the tombstone piledriver on the undertaker
19. undertaker reverses and performs a tombstone piledriver on the other dude or maybe uses the hells gate choke hold
20. undertaker wins
21. fist in the air, fireworks

Rumour is it will be Cena so that won't happen. Because Cena doesn't beat people up. He doesn't know how. In fact even his most violent fight (v. Umaga way back) he still did bugger all.

but yes

john cena can rap until the undertaker taps out

He's not facing Cena, that's crazy talk.

never doubt the stupidity of wwe booking

That was some Starrcade 97 levels of awesomeness followed by a really shitty end. Brock destroys Cena... so Cena wins. Nothing like the 'going away for a while to rest up and figure out how to beat the monster... i've already beaten' storyline. Remember how Luke Skywalker kicks Darth Vader in the balls in the first Star Wars?

good chance that Cena will lose to both A-Train and Johnny Ace but somehow go over Lesnar. if Sting ever did sign with WWE he'd lose to Hornswoggle in his first match.

A former UFC champion who can bloody his head and do crazy damage to the muscles in his arm = can't go over Cena

A retired wrestler 98% of the crowd had never heard of before last year and 1 punch from a guy who was on tv crying this week = can go over Cena

just so you know

CM Punk (c) v. Daniel Bryan Pt. 1 Pt. 2

Raw has been as boring as ever recently and most of OTL was unwatchable. But this match was incredible. Of course it was. Dragon's crazy surfboard thing was p much the best moment in wrestling since Punk's promo last summer. And I wish there was some way of figuring out how many fans got Punk's 'I've got till 5' dig. 2%? The severe lack of interest from the fans stops it being a true classic. (Maybe like 3 times you can hear a person try to start a chant or get the people around them going, only to fail. It's embarrassing. What were they there to cheer, the Johnny Ace match? Goldberg?)

Between this, the first Dragon-Punk on Raw, Lesnar-Cena, Dragon-Sheamus 2/3 falls, Punk-Henry 1, the Smackdown Elimination Chamber and Taker-HHH 3, I feel the WWE could put out one fucking crazy good DVD at the end of the year to make me forget how shitty most of it has been. Actually give Ambrose/Moxley, Cesaro/Claudio and Ziggler some proper opportunities in the next 7 months and I could almost stop hating myself for being a wrestling fan.

(that dream dvd would totally have cesaro-steamboat jr's 15, 20 and 30 jack brisco matches. you should check out the 20 - jim ross joins regal for fcw commentary!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0Y3Eed3Brg

http://i.minus.com/iVjZVyOls67AO.gif

...the best thing in the whole world of wrestling atm is a chick who wrestles once every two months and just kinda stands around...

oops, http://i.minus.com/iVjZVyOls67AO.gif

it has been a while since i watched raw so i didn't see it myself but vince mocked jr's palsy on a show he wasn't at. seems like they are cool w oklahoma after all. stay classy vince, i'm sure the anti bullying campaign liked it. and whoever votes for linda.

Cabana's podcast hit #100 this week and it is Punk hosting and interviewing Colt. Highly recommended. Hilarious hearing the second biggest wrestler in the world sound really nervous and tripping over himself.

Dragon's crazy surfboard thing was p much the best moment in wrestling since Punk's promo last summer

You must know he cribbed that one from Jushin 'Thunder' Liger; I wanna see someone do his super fisherman buster.

I've not seen a lot of Liger. I have vague memories of him from WCW when I was a laddy but I've never done the time on YouTube. I should. Thursday, maybe. I have the Pillman matches on my must-see list.

Kings Reign Supreme in the WWE! Sara Del Rey got signed! Who cares if Raw gets worse every week, Death Rey is gonna be about in a year and a half, with some silly token lady name. And a year after that they will finally put the 3 of them back together! I need to figure a way to get one of those Death Rey shirts before her name change but she doesn't have an easily-googleable merch site.

Watched my first full Raw in forever. Seriously, it was BAD. When the only thing - IN 2012 - worth seeing is BOB FUCKING BACKLUND, then something is desperately wrong. There must have been about 6 minutes of wrestling if you take out the match where Cena and Kane tagged together (this being the Kane who not 6 months ago tried to end Cena's career, kill his kayfabe best friend and kidnap and rape his best friend's girlfriend). Considering Money In The Bank was the best PPV of the past two years, and I was super excited about the WWE only 3 months ago... this is a hell of a drop off. I don't think I'll even watch all of MITB, just grab the WWE Champ match on YouTube. Next weeks Raw will continue to suck. I'll see the 1000th Raw because it will be crazy but between now and SummerSlam, I don't imagine i'll be too interested.

Fucking hell, 3 hours of Raw every week is going to be the end of WWE unless they sort their shit out soon. Their ratings are dropping steadily as is. Their midcard is... the two world champions. Dunno how Bryan/Punk is gonna fill the first 2 hours every week without everyone hating them. About 60% of the roster is shitty and has usually been culled already (no post-WM draft or firings this year, wtf?). They aren't doing anything with Claudio, Sandow, Ziggler, Rhodes, Fat Ernest Miller, Ryberg, the tag team titles, Kong and haven't found a way to get Steamboat, Ambrose, Rollins or Hero on the show yet. It's a long fucking way from WM. Or enjoying wrestling again (or until I figure out where to get DG-USA from).

Michael Cole got an SMS text message from WWE headquarters (Booker T: "Wow") to say that the title match was No DQ.

A text message! From headquarters!

RAW stats:

http://blogimages.thescore.com/aftermath/files/2012/07/Aftermath-RAW999Ep-infographic2.png

The Miz wrestled 161 times on RAW? Really??

didn't he used to host it

that stat thing shows a bunch of things i hate, 1, people outside of wwe using wwe's stupid fucking language, 2, orton and cena have had 4000 matches while stone cold has had 12, wonder how he stayed fresh and they didn't, 3, not enough flag matches bring back the patriot

Yeah, pretty much everyone in the top ten were on RAW in 2002-5 when the brand extension had diluted the rosters.

I'm also wondering how many of those WWE title matches happened in 1998-9 when Russo was booking.

ok they showed Mae Young and Mark Henry's kid all grown up, Raw 1000 is totally worth it

Sean fucking Mooney!

SummerSlam tonight. One of the big four. And I, ILX's biggest wrestling fan, care enough that's i've watched 1 match from Raw since the 1000th episode.*

I'm gonna watch tonight. But seriously, if they have booked the middle aged parent who has wrestled three times in the past year, once against Kevin fucking Nash, to beat a fucking former UFC champion I think I'm done. I'm just never going to ever spend another penny on WWE. And I don't think I'm alone there - they are going to turn off so many tweens who are already starting to turn on this bullshit if they try and make Triple H look legit in this. Just break him within 2 minutes and move on to Brock Undertaker at WM29.

*tbf that match was Bryan Danielson v. John Cena and it was a masterpiece. You should go find it. Daniel Bryan really is the best wrestler since Eddy and a couple more years like this in the big leagues and he could hit Flair/Macho heights. Seriously. I'm not kidding, he's that good. He could have an interesting match with the Giant Gonzales, who i'm certain died two years ago.

I doubt I'll watch either. Shame, really. I've been watching tons of wrestling through all the documentaries on Netflix but the current product seems less and less appealing.

The new iPad app is cool though.

I've just looked at the card.

Pre-show Santino Marella (c) vs. Antonio Cesaro (with Aksana) Singles match for the WWE United States Championship[10]
1 Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar (with Paul Heyman) Singles match[11]
2 CM Punk (c) vs. Big Show vs. John Cena Triple Threat match for the WWE Championship[12]
3 Kane vs. Daniel Bryan Singles match[13]
4 Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero) vs. Chris Jericho Singles match[14]
5 The Miz (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Singles match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship[15]
6 R-Truth and Kofi Kingston (c) vs. The Primetime Players (Titus O'Neil and Darren Young) Tag team match for the WWE Tag Team Championship[16]
7 Sheamus (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio Singles match for the World Heavyweight Championship[17]

Ziggler-Jericho might be cool. Del Rio is fucking awful. Primetime Players are fucking awful and the tag team division of letting minorities pick up a paycheck is embarrassing, especially knowing how good Truth is. Big Show v. John Cena is a title match in 2012. IN 2012. They first fucking fueded around Wrestlemania fucking 20, eight years ago. Big Show won his first world title and Kane wrestled at SummerSlam in 1995! Triple H, Jericho AND Mysterio were wrestling then too. I'm so fucking bored of these guys and then guys like Claudio are in the dark match so Rey Rey can wear an awkward fat covering t shirt.

Ziggler-Jericho looks like the only slightly bright spot on a pretty dire bill.

Yup.

this felt like an old school show where everyone before the main event was told to 'tone it down'. ziggler, bryan, mysterio etc. all seemed a bit slower than usual, less big spots than they could have had. fucking triple h.

still, the three way was surprisingly good. big show actually getting the opportunity to be a bad ass giant properly for the first time in a decade, leading to a match without him.

and the main event was alright. really though i just loved that triple h obviously booked a big 5 minute send off to himself where everyone would be teary eyed and chant his name and instead we got YOU TAPPED OUT YOU TAPPED OUT etc.

also fred durst is still alive

I only caught the main event. It wasn't bad; at least the fear that Triple H would win was false. I'm afraid that means a Trips beats Lesner redemption match for Wrestlemania, especially since Triple H lost to Undertaker the last two years..

oh dear god i fucking hope not. the only thing triple h should do near wrestlemania is be beat down on raw by brock, leading to taker coming out to save him and build their match. fuck another one of those matches, even if it wasn't shitty.

I don't want another Taker v. Lesner match either. Let Lesner be a monster and let Taker rest. 20 was enough.

well 1 match a year is resting! it is either brock v. rock or brock v. taker. personally i want him to destroy someone like orton or mark henry at survivor series, enter the royal rumble and throw out like ten dudes (and then have a maven moment) and then go for taker. keep him away from punk and the title.

alternatively v. bryan and have something like the bryan morishima matches would be incredible and i'd go back to loving the 'e forever

I'd like Taker to continue to rest and not return. Let it be over for good.

Lesner v Bryan would be cool.

Oh I'd love Taker to never come back and I really want this to be the year they get rid of ANYONE who wrestled on tv in the nineties, even Jericho. But he hasn't had an official retirement match and his last match is not going to be w/ kane v. jinder mahal, tyler reks and other jobbers.

http://botchamania.com/some-guy-reviews-chynas-new-film/#more-2101

Right on cue, she rolls under the bottom rope, then just keeps rolling over and over until she falls out the other side of the ring. Stone and Sanders stand there dumbfounded. Then Sanders gives a Flair “woooo”. Gold.

Here’s Gene on Chyna’s rolling.

Gene: What is this move? Very curious. Cut to two dicks in her mouth.

http://t.co/aJl3pv2o

THE ROCK IS IN HACKNEY. BEATING UP OUR CRIMINALS.

is he putting a hand on the bbq?

Oh man, I hope Jerry's okay. Fingers crossed.

I just saw RAW, needless to say it was tough to watch when you know what's about to happen. But in a way, he was lucky it happened at a live event because there were doctors right there. If he'd had a heart attack in the hotel before the show then he'd probably be dead now.

It was scary live, as things trickled out through the show and through twitter. But he is lucky, and I hope he has a quick and easy recovery. And that he stays out of the ring.

Maybe it's not a good idea for 60 year olds to be wrestling, but it's not like he was one of those typical wrestling burnouts. He was always in shape, didn't drink or do drugs, I'm not sure about his history with roids or painkillers but he didn't wrestle a very demanding style so he doesn't fit the profile of someone who would abuse that stuff. I'm not sure this could have been prevented if he hadn't been wrestling regularly, but yeah, I hope he doesn't try to make an in-ring comeback after this.

http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2012/09/17/article-1347878816953-150EFE4A000005DC-508827_466x336.jpg