lord custos tribute thread

Woo!

People really thought someone that looked like that was posting to ILX?

-- The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Sunday, July 27, 2008 11:19 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

whoever finds the source of that image wins ilxer of the year award

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/geir-punch.jpg

omg I am so happy at least part of bucket bikini man still exists!!!!!

Don't take off your condoms yet, people.

-- StanM, Wednesday, July 30, 2008 12:13 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

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(unless you're finished fucking for the time being - then dispose of it properly, cause I don't want to see that in the kitchen trash when I'm cooking dinner)

-- Oilyrags, Wednesday, July 30, 2008 12:14 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

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i'd recommend not cooking dinner in the kitchen trash

-- ken c, Wednesday, July 30, 2008 12:16 PM (6 seconds ago) Bookmark Link

wts

part 7: United We Stand, Divided We Die Hard
part 8: Sic Semper Die Hard
part 9: Out of Many, Die Hard
part 10: Novus Ordo Die Hard
part 11: Ballin, Shot Callin, Everlastin Die Hardin

-- j blount (papa la bas), Monday, October 9, 2006 6:48 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

i think c&p-ing posts that predate the actual custos thread are kinda unfair. ILX tolerated (rewarded, even) labored wordplay much more back then.

http://www.p30warez.com/uploads/posts/2007-10/1192282849_51st7c3rbql._ss500_.jpg

i think c&p-ing posts that predate the actual custos thread are kinda unfair. ILX tolerated (rewarded, even) labored wordplay much more back then.

-- some dude, Monday, August 4, 2008 4:13 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

how could the thread ever have been started?? are you trying to rewrite history

the lord custos laws are ex post facto

i think c&p-ing posts that predate the actual custos thread are kinda unfair.

-- Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, November 14, 2003 3:14 PM

-- and what, Friday, 27 April 2007 16:42 (1 year ago) Link

however to be fair the post that inspired this thread was actually sub-custos material and not just someone making a corny pun

was gonna link slocki's elm street thread but saw I posted in it, damnit

those would only count if i made up fake dialogue.

Isn't it a shame you don't get more schoolteachers in rap?

http://image.blingee.com/images15/content/output/000/000/000/405/250042833_1646157.gif

'Dad, can we play football in the park again?'

'No'

'Why?'

'Oh, because I'm gay, clear off'

'WHAT?!??'

'Whatever, just piss off'

-- Autumn Almanac, Saturday, 16 August 2008 23:33 (2 days ago) Link

tupac

i thought itd be a dual pack (of rappers)

-- jhøshea, Wednesday, March 26, 2008 7:31 PM (Wednesday, March 26, 2008 7:31 PM) Bookmark Link

Get it? Two... packs.

please someone make the facebook musical thread stop please

so bad!!

if tom locks that thread i will forgive him for everything he did yesterday

is there any more heinous a Custosian crime, as when Marcello and chums imitate Bobby Gillespie for the nth time, like they were writing the jokes column from an early-90s NME?

oh god so OTM

for brits maybe

that one goes right over my head

is there any more heinous a Custosian crime, as when Marcello and chums imitate Bobby Gillespie for the nth time, like they were writing the jokes column from an early-90s NME?

― graft Veronica's limbless torso to the 'paalmino' pony called Juno (stevie), Monday, 6 October 2008 11:26 (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Seriously.

"The Ludacris Foundation"
Message Bookmarked
Dubplatestyle: The Hip-Hop Summit Action Network and Pepsi have come to an agreement,
averting Tuesday's (Feb. 11) boycott. Pepsi, the Ludacris Foundation &
Rush Arts have agreed to a multi-year, multi-million dollar partnership to
support the arts in communities at risk. "We hope Pepsi's investment
inspires other companies to invest more in grassroots programs as opposed
to some bureaucracies who aren't always effective," Russell Simmons told
AllHipHop.com.
joel facelift: haha um
joel facelift: the ludacris foundation??
Dubplatestyle: haha i know!
joel facelift: the foundation for throwing bows
joel facelift: for the furtherment of rough sex
Dubplatestyle: the foundation for the advancement of the global sex village

― jess (dubplatestyle), Monday, February 10, 2003 7:32 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
the foundation for compatible titties and ass.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, February 10, 2003 7:34 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Ah, the joys of this spam. I wondered at this as well.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, February 10, 2003 7:35 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Luda cares for his hoes/foundation gives 'em ho-mes/get off tha streets/I throw you a bone/It ain't hopeless, like I'm never ho-less/keep the peace/and satisfy my whore-mones/fuck the ho-lice/eatin' doublized portions/gettin' fat off doughnuts/from tim whore-tons/Luda save souls/with a charity foundation/and bacheler's recreation/headquarted off whore-land heights/where I keep my interns/up all night/return the favor/they mouths full of ludacris flavor!

ahem.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, February 11, 2003 1:58 AM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
ahem.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, February 11, 2003 1:35 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

*cough*

ahem.

awkward silence

KRS-One had the right idea, but he was a bit too crazed. I prefer Michael Franti of the DHH. He's Jello Biafra with a tan!

-- Lord Custos X, Friday, June 14, 2002 12:00 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

― and what, Monday, May 28, 2007 11:23 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2008/06/barack-obama-jo.html

Norquist dropped by The Times' Washington bureau today and, as part of his negative critique of Obama's liberal stances on economic issues and other matters, he termed the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee "John Kerry with a tan."

I told her I ain't so sure
about this place
it's hard to play a gig in this town
and keep a straight face
seems like everyone here's got a plan
it's kind of like nashville with a tan, but,
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye

My question is: 'Did Kevin Faeces put the ice-cream in the bacon?'

― funky house septic (haitch), Monday, 27 October 2008 23:53 (28 seconds ago) Bookmark

surely not quasi-racist enough

Tupac will release a new single on Halloween describing his past relationship with Obama and how Obama murdered him. I got the bootleg already:

(To be sung by Tupac)

Back in the days, me and and Barry used to roll dice;
on the corner betting quarters sippin orange slice.

Then O got big went to law school;
befrending Jews; learnin rules; writin law reviews.

The other day I say a poster with my man Barack;
On the same corner where we smoked ---- and sold rocks.

I can't beleeeeve; My man made it so faaarrrr;
we used hustle now his muscle's in Patrol Caarrrs.

Till now ya'll thought my murder was a mystereeee;
How could it beeee; when it was all plain to seeee; how can I rest in peeeeace.

It wasn't Kevin, it wasn't no Mac-11; It was a brother named Barack with a silver glock... (gunshots...fadeout).

--

Lame, but I couldn't help myself.

DM

Posted by laborlibert | October 30, 2008 11:23 AM

Fight Club 1910 (A Masterpiece Theatre/Merchant and Ivory Production)

yo i put a flexfit foie gras through the dishwasher with one of those anal sex cages and the shit never was the same

dont be a cheap ass, just buy a new fucking goose and have more than one favorite dish, you got to switch your style up, that way you always looking fresh

fuck blowing a goose

- j0hn d

I think there should be genres called:

applecore - although I hear it's rotten
lamppost - some people say that you can't dance to it, but the secret is to stand completely still

There are also offshoots:

applecorelamppost - difficult music to play, as people are always complaining about the balance and the requirement for musicians to be very tall
applecorecore - started by the people who were the original applecorers, who subsequently got fed up with the rampant commercialism of applecore
postlamppost - sounds like what you get if you remove the lamppost from lamppost, basically silence to which the dancers flail around madly
lampapple - not to be confused with lamb papal, where people dress up as the pope and chant baaaahhhh

These different genres have all been collected together under the umbrella term "rubbish". So, for example, you will here a musician claim that their band plays "applecore on a rubbish tip".

― snoball, Wednesday, November 19, 2008 1:34 PM (10 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

what in the world

jeez

Straight outta Deutschland, crazy motherfucker named Florian/From the gang called Kraftwerk/When I'm called off, I got a bicycle/Run your ass over, and bodies are hauled off/You too, boy, if ya fuck with me/Die Polizei are gonna hafta come and get me/Off yo ass, that's how I'm goin out/For the punk motherfuckers that's showin out/Bavarians start to mumble, they wanna rumble/Mix em and cook em in a pot like sausage/Goin off on a motherfucker like that with a gat that's pointed at yo ass/So give it up smooth/Ain't no tellin when I'm down for a jack move/Here's a murder rap to keep yo dancin with a crime record like Baader Meinhof/The Uzi is the tool/Don't make me act the motherfuckin fool/Me you can go toe to toe, no maybe/I'm knockin 'varians out tha box, daily yo weekly, monthly and yearly/until them dumb motherfuckers see clearly/that I'm down with the capital DST/Boy you can't fuck with me/So when I'm in your neighborhood, you better duck/Coz Florian is crazy as fuck/As I leave, believe I'm stompin but when I come back, boy/I'm comin straight outta Deutschland/Peace.

Suggest Ban Permalink
― Todd Burns, Tuesday, March 5, 2002 5:00 PM Bookmark

Seriously though, it's getting to the point where the word "Lapland" is synonymous with "rip off shite"...

person A: "So how's that second hand car you bought?"
person B: "Disaster, I got Laplanded..."

― snoball, Saturday, 6 December 2008 18:05 (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

And don't get me started about Lapland Dancing Clubs...

― snoball, Saturday, 6 December 2008 18:06 (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

You can look at the reindeer, but if you do any more than that, the elves throw you out into the street. Meanwhile, in the VIP room, there's blatant drug use. People are candy caning it.

― snoball, Saturday, 6 December 2008 18:13 (48 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Thread should really be named "rolling snoball post thread"

Straight outta Deutschland, crazy motherfucker named Florian/From the gang called Kraftwerk/When I'm called off, I got a bicycle/Run your ass over, and bodies are hauled off/You too, boy, if ya fuck with me/Die Polizei are gonna hafta come and get me/Off yo ass, that's how I'm goin out/For the punk motherfuckers that's showin out/Bavarians start to mumble, they wanna rumble/Mix em and cook em in a pot like sausage/Goin off on a motherfucker like that with a gat that's pointed at yo ass/So give it up smooth/Ain't no tellin when I'm down for a jack move/Here's a murder rap to keep yo dancin with a crime record like Baader Meinhof/The Uzi is the tool/Don't make me act the motherfuckin fool/Me you can go toe to toe, no maybe/I'm knockin 'varians out tha box, daily yo weekly, monthly and yearly/until them dumb motherfuckers see clearly/that I'm down with the capital DST/Boy you can't fuck with me/So when I'm in your neighborhood, you better duck/Coz Florian is crazy as fuck/As I leave, believe I'm stompin but when I come back, boy/I'm comin straight outta Deutschland/Peace.

Suggest Ban Permalink
― Todd Burns, Tuesday, March 5, 2002 5:00 PM Bookmark

this is pretty funny

The Conservative Toby Keith

Oh, and Cutty suggested Fight! (Fight Club 1910, the Musical)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, February 12, 2005 9:33 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

nice one cutty!

Okay but please help me get this straight. Kermit has a problem with being green. Right? But his nephew Robin can't even climb the stairs. Is that what I'm getting here? I mean oh my god, what a tragic family of mental illness.

― Can't Get The Gin If You're Not Plugged In (Bimble), Sunday, January 11, 2009 5:44 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

With Bimble, I do wonder if he's completely serious.

Kermit, email me.