'John Carter,' aka the Edgar Rice Burroughs 'A Princess of Mars' adaptation

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Mars Needs Moms, The Sorceror's Apprentice, and Prince of Persia
man I can't believe they lost money on these.
National Treasure 3, The Search For Revenue set for release Summer 2013.

WARS OF ARMAGEDDON (Karaoke Version) (Sparkle Motion), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 17:08 (twelve years ago) link

I tried to watch Sorceror's. First 15 minutes were too painful to bear. Seemed like some committee's idea of what kids want to watch.

Axolotl with an Atlatl (Jon Lewis), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 17:12 (twelve years ago) link

Maybe it was just the version I saw but the very end had JOHN CARTER OF MARS before the credits. (Just 'JOHN CARTER' at the start)

kinder, Wednesday, 21 March 2012 17:31 (twelve years ago) link

"wait a minute, that was all taking place on Mars?"

Number None, Wednesday, 21 March 2012 17:39 (twelve years ago) link

haha

kinder, Wednesday, 21 March 2012 17:40 (twelve years ago) link

Put that at the end of Jerry Maguire and see how it plays...

Axolotl with an Atlatl (Jon Lewis), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 17:43 (twelve years ago) link

Mildred Pierce OF MARS

Axolotl with an Atlatl (Jon Lewis), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 17:43 (twelve years ago) link

Michael Clayton OF MARS

bring back the dream of buzz bin (Phil D.), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 17:44 (twelve years ago) link

Nixon OF MARS

wait that might make more sense

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 17:58 (twelve years ago) link

Carter's of mars, Nixon's of Venus

Axolotl with an Atlatl (Jon Lewis), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 18:03 (twelve years ago) link

John, Carter of Mars

the sir edmund hillary of sitting through pauly shore films (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 18:07 (twelve years ago) link

Of Mice and Men of Mars

Fozzy Osbourne (contenderizer), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 18:08 (twelve years ago) link

Anne of Green Gables of Mars

Fozzy Osbourne (contenderizer), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 18:09 (twelve years ago) link

Mars Needs Moms of Mars

Number None, Wednesday, 21 March 2012 18:13 (twelve years ago) link

The Rise of the Planet (Mars) of the Apes

Axolotl with an Atlatl (Jon Lewis), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 18:14 (twelve years ago) link

Disney Needs Money of Mars

the sir edmund hillary of sitting through pauly shore films (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 18:16 (twelve years ago) link

I Don't Know How She Does It On Mars

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 18:18 (twelve years ago) link

Sex and The City On Mars

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 18:18 (twelve years ago) link

Mars Attacks On Mars

kinder, Wednesday, 21 March 2012 18:39 (twelve years ago) link

John Carpenter's Ghosts Of Mars On Mars

Aunt Acid and the Gaviscons (aldo), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 18:40 (twelve years ago) link

Mask of Mars

goole, Wednesday, 21 March 2012 18:41 (twelve years ago) link

Star Wars Of Mars

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 18:44 (twelve years ago) link

Delta of Venus of Mars

bring back the dream of buzz bin (Phil D.), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 18:45 (twelve years ago) link

To Live and Die in L.A. of Mars

Fozzy Osbourne (contenderizer), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 18:49 (twelve years ago) link

Freddy vs. Jason of Mars

Fozzy Osbourne (contenderizer), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 18:50 (twelve years ago) link

The Passion of the Christ of Mars

Fozzy Osbourne (contenderizer), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 18:51 (twelve years ago) link

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil of Mars

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 21 March 2012 18:58 (twelve years ago) link

Holes of Mars

goole, Wednesday, 21 March 2012 19:03 (twelve years ago) link

A Trip to the Moon of Mars

bring back the dream of buzz bin (Phil D.), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 19:04 (twelve years ago) link

Schindler's List of Mars

scott seward, Wednesday, 21 March 2012 19:05 (twelve years ago) link

Just got back. This movie was perfectly fine! I will say, however, that the stuff that doesn't work about it largely falls at Stanton's feet: his misbegotten promotion ideas, his inability to find a rhythm (talk talk talk ACTION talk talk ACTION talk), his lack of experience dealing with in-the-flesh actors and occasional tough time simply putting a movie of this scope together (weird framing and mismatched scenes abounded). Bummer we won't get a sequel, because obviously the foundation is there. How did fucking Clash of the Titans get a sequel? Was that a blockbuster? How did Battleship get made at all?

This movie did leave me wanting a six-legged butt-dog of my own, though. And a Lynn Collins.

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 21 March 2012 19:07 (twelve years ago) link

I have a butt-dog but alas, she only got 4 legs.

Axolotl with an Atlatl (Jon Lewis), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 19:36 (twelve years ago) link

his inability to find a rhythm (talk talk talk ACTION talk talk ACTION talk),

i think this is a big problem yeah. i still think any scene where characters are gravely spewing 30 different goofy alien names at you is just dead-on-arrival. i also didnt care for how JC felt like a cardboard Reluctant Modern Movie Hero - right down to the phoned-in hero refusing the call moments. most of the stuff about his backstory was unnecessary, especially all the stuff where he keeps telling people he's done with fighting other peoples wars or whatever - it doesnt resonate, and it drags the movie down. you never believe him as a southern gentleman from virginia either

How did fucking Clash of the Titans get a sequel? Was that a blockbuster?

a big one!

How did Battleship get made at all?

thats kind of a funny story actually. universal was desperate for franchises a few years ago and hasbro had just switched to an aggressive firm looking to make some deals, so universal bought the rights to a bunch of hasbro properties, with penalty clauses if they didnt get projects off the ground within a certain amount of time. so to avoid a 7 figure penalty, they commit to a $200 million Battleship picture because it was the best choice out of a bad lot. i think their deal recently went in the toilet so there probably won't be any more boardgame movies in the near future.

these pretzels are makeing me horney (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 20:56 (twelve years ago) link

you mean we're not going to get Ridley Scott's Monopoly?

Number None, Wednesday, 21 March 2012 20:57 (twelve years ago) link

I want to see that list

(he did what!) (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 20:59 (twelve years ago) link

Clue II

the sir edmund hillary of sitting through pauly shore films (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 20:59 (twelve years ago) link

The Cluening

the sir edmund hillary of sitting through pauly shore films (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 20:59 (twelve years ago) link

it was Battleship, Candy Land, Clue, Magic: The Gathering, Monopoly, Ouija, and Stretch Armstrong

these pretzels are makeing me horney (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 21:01 (twelve years ago) link

how on earth is battlefield the best of those? lol this industry

goole, Wednesday, 21 March 2012 21:03 (twelve years ago) link

do you think any of the others are clearly 'better'

these pretzels are makeing me horney (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 21:05 (twelve years ago) link

tim burton's candy land

the "intenterface" (difficult listening hour), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 21:06 (twelve years ago) link

^ what we're all thinking

goole, Wednesday, 21 March 2012 21:06 (twelve years ago) link

tho that would suck hard

goole, Wednesday, 21 March 2012 21:06 (twelve years ago) link

Monopoly could be great. Candy Land also if done similarly to Mr. Show's take on the Kroffts.

Axolotl with an Atlatl (Jon Lewis), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 21:06 (twelve years ago) link

xxxpost

Axolotl with an Atlatl (Jon Lewis), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 21:07 (twelve years ago) link

i can in my mind's eye imagine good movies of all of them but battleship but maybe i'm being contrarian at this point

goole, Wednesday, 21 March 2012 21:08 (twelve years ago) link

they should have bought risk and made a four-hour the longest day kinda thing that just cross-cuts between 500000 a-list names shooting each other in ten different locations. AROUND THE WORLD.

the "intenterface" (difficult listening hour), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 21:09 (twelve years ago) link

...in a teal & orange steampunk napoleonic cgi style? please?

goole, Wednesday, 21 March 2012 21:10 (twelve years ago) link

soundtrack is just fake gregorian chants and a couple songs from smash

the "intenterface" (difficult listening hour), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 21:17 (twelve years ago) link

i can in my mind's eye imagine good movies of all of them but battleship but maybe i'm being contrarian at this point

― goole, Wednesday, March 21, 2012 5:08 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark

well i mean their concern wasnt what will be good, it was what can they sell. and it's easy to sell a big budget transformers knockoff

these pretzels are makeing me horney (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 21 March 2012 21:20 (twelve years ago) link


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