Aldo reads DC's New 52 (So you don't have to)

It is only a matter of time before DC falls at Liefeld's metaphorical feet.

I didn't realise the Jeff Smax thing was for real. Waaaaaah!

hey guys, how long do you think it'll take Liefeld to start swiping blatantly for his covers now that he's one of the star and linchpin creators of DC's entire line? oh never mind:

http://cdn.bleedingcool.net/wp-content/uploads//2012/03/300px-Rom17.jpg http://cdn.bleedingcool.net/wp-content/uploads//2012/03/300px-Rom17.jpg

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y115/kitbrash/300px-Rom17.jpg http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y115/kitbrash/300px-Liefeld.jpg

nice.

Liefeld's continued success in the comics industry is the ultimate refutation of God's existence.

Why does every Liefeld character, male or female, have a bulging package?

eh, that's not that bad

not the bulges, i mean the swiping

Dove is rather strong, holding herself up there by lightly grabbing not-Kraven by the wrist.

Right? And yes, it most certainly is that bad. It's pretty damning that Liefeld can't even swipe with any skill. I mean, he clearly doesn't understand what's happening on that ROM cover, which leads to his own cover having a tableau of figures that makes no sense. I sometimes wonder if he might be profoundly brain damaged. There's art featured in Raw Vision that would appear to be the product of clearer faculties than those Liefeld possesses.

in a weird twist, because it's not as sound as the original, i don't consider it as a bad a rip-off? like, sure, if he was a more competent artist, it would make more sense and be a better "pastiche", but i don't know how much you can criticize poses as swipes

Like, the least damning thing I can say about it is that it isn't blatantly lightboxed. But it's absolutely a swipe.

lightly grabbing not-Kraven

eyepatch makes me assume this is Deathstroke or whatever Slade Wilson might be called these days, for some reason dressed as Kraven. (where the reason is probably "Liefeld loves Marvel and is massively uncreative")

typing that first sentence just made me realise: Deadpool aka Wade Wilson is Rob's serial-numbers-filed-off version of Deathstroke aka Slade Wilson, I guess? WTF at a) ripping off a DC character to create a Marvel version, then getting to do the DC character and making him a rip-off of a different Marvel character [!!!?!], and b) one of Marvel's biggest and most profitable over-milked characters of recent years was created as a rip of their competition's IP

I sometimes wonder if he might be profoundly brain damaged.

Aldo reads DC's New 52 (So you don't have to)

Remember that Deathstroke is a rip of Marvel's Taskmaster, whom Perez had helped to create in Avengers not long before starting New Teen Titans.

That depth of Marveliana is a mystery to me. I had a vague idea that Deathstroke might have been inspired by the murder shooty deadliness of the Punisher, though obv wasn't a rip in any further sense

Taskmaster is an all-time favorite of mine; "photographic reflexes" is one of the best powers ever. Being the Super-Adaptoid of skills instead of powers is a genius concept.

http://io9.com/5893904/china-mieville-gives-us-a-sneak-peek-of-dc-comics-weirdest-new-superhero-series

uh, that is not a new superhero series. that is one from 1966, 1981, 1988, and 2003.

ok to be fair to Mieville, he tells the io9 dude that he is wrong about that, right in the interview, that they still headlined otherwise

I enjoy that they quote him as saying "ffs"

it's still "new" sic. The interviewer is clearly aware of its pedigree

Marvel has a sort-of Taskmaster who is female in Echo, now. I think they may have killed her recently? Idk.

That Taskmaster series in the past year was pretty fun.

the headline is silly, there's nothing at all either weird and new revealed about the mieville iteration of the series in the interview, and mieville consistently a) claims that there isn't and b) refuses to reveal anything about the content anyway. it's straight-up bad 'reporting'.

eyepatch makes me assume this is Deathstroke or whatever Slade Wilson might be called these days

is that an eyepatch or a shadow (remember, this is a Liefeld drawing)

It could be a foot, for all we know.

it's a Liefeld drawing, the one thing we know for sure is it's NOT a foot

Hmmm. I have to assume, then, that it's a pouch of some kind, given the otherwise troubling dearth thereof.

It's a pouch he keeps his eye in.

wait it's probably not Deathstroke, unless he's been de-aged and gingerised

which is kind of likely now I think about it

GIANT SIZED ALDO-THING! BEWARE! HIS WHINGING STINGS A LITTLE!

Ok, been away for a couple of weeks (although thankfully one of them was the JL only week) so will try and catch up.

Justice League #6: Unbelievably, Cyborg saves the day for everyone. He has no idea how, and almost does it by accident, mainly because Batman is more of a dad to him than the one that saved his life a few issues ago. Really? That's how you resolve the first plot? When George Bush (which looks nothing like him, and reinforces the point this is supposed to be 5 years ago) calls them the Super-Friends you really wish they stuck with that instead of Justice League. Even the Flash's 'Super Seven' is better, although it does sound like an Enid Blyton title. Five Go Mad on Apokolips? The Pandora backup is pointless rubbish (watch me retract this when it actually develops into a good plot) though. Bring on the next story.

Action #7: There are some things to love about this. Lex's resigned tone when he realises he's been shrunk. The re-appearance of the short man from #1. But there's lots not to like too. Braniac is the internet. The dad dancing of people holding up their iPhones instead of lighters. Solly Fisch gets another paycheck for something GMoz can't be arsed writing. This is better than the last couple of issues but it's treading water badly. You definitely get the impression GMoz just doesn't want to be here - that he lost interest as soon as they asked him to split his story up and write some filler books for his own work - and that's a shame because it should (arguably) be the flagship title of the line and instead isn't any better than some of the mid-level stragglers narrowly avoiding cancellation. I feel let down, but I don't know why I expected any better.

Animal Man #7: Ellen manages to sum up how I begin to feel about this book - "You do realise you're listening to a talking cat, don't you?" Yes, it's an avatar of the Red but, you know, it's still a talking cat that eats cat food. Cliff tries to pick up girls by telling them who his dad is, while under strict instruction not to draw attention to themselves. So Buddy flies him away. Ellen's mum cries because of what she's seen and not because animals are rampaging everywhere, although she'll no doubt find out soon because she's gone off alone in the dark. The Swamp Thing crossover may or may not be taking place over 10 years in the future, which is somewhat confusing. This feels like the last days of the last Animal Man story, when Buddy was a giant bird travelling up and down the West coast of America. I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I suspect I'll find out soon.

Batgirl #7: Waking up women in the middle of the night for a fight seems to be Babs' new tactic. I'm not sure it works. Still, in this book that a single artist couldn't be bothered finishing it's maybe the most notable thing about it. It's just very average stuff. And then it turns out the villain is a guy Brian Bolland drew 24 years ago in the background. Ho hum.

Batman & Robin #7: Oooh, the cover is dreadful. Anyway, Bats turns up in Boba Fett's Slave 1 and crashes through the roof so we don't have to read through the torture porn we got promised last month. Bats and the bad guy compare daddy issues and then Batman throws him in a vat of acid but NOT TO KILL HIM. We know that because once he pulls him out of the acid, Robin punches him once which kills him. I know, some days you can't do right for doing wrong. Not the best issue of the run so far, but not the worst either.

Batwoman #7: I don't know what's happened, but this has turned into directionless slop. The book takes places in about 5 different timelines which meet up in the last couple of pages and in the meantime there's some not-so-attractive art. I guess I'll stick with it and see if it can recapture the thrill of the first handful but I'm not holding out that much hope. A shame.

Demon Knights #7: A blast, as ever. By the end the Knights have 'won', however, there's nothing much of anything left to win as it's all been burned or killed or raped or magicked away or something. It feels like a Silver Age book at times, and you know what? I'd love to have seen a Kirby version of it. But in the end we only have the version in my very hands and I'm happy enough to have that instead. It's not a big seller though, I suspect so I don't know how much longer it'll be on the shelves.

Detective Comics #7: The Penguin story concludes with a mass of double crosses and explosions. I hope Combustible survives, as I quite like the idea of a giant light bulb in a top hat and bow tie who speaks like he's from the 20s. Snakeskin's powers don't work until he stops betraying the Penguin it appears. Sometimes it's just not your day.

Frankenstein #7: Woohoo! Ray Palmer uses his Atom power in this issue. It's the undoubted highlight, as the remainder is fairly bland base-under-siege fare in need of a bigger plot. Although as the baddie at the end is revealed to be Frankie's son, this may mean slipper-on-backside action next month. And Frankie only wears clumpy boots, so that could be more violent than it sounds. I have no idea why I'm still buying this.

Legion Lost #7: This is the end of the plot according to the final page but I can't really work out what's finished or where or how as it isn't materially different from the issues that have gone before. It's still fun, but in a fans only way and is about to lead into a giant punch-up with Superboy which will either be great or crap. I know which one my money's on.

Red Lanterns #7: Ragey McRage fights Guy Gardner for a bit, then does that acid blood vomit thing and flies off into space. Bleez has taken the Red Lanterns to beat the crap out of what's left of the Sinestro Corps. Atrocitus wanders about in the jungle thinking about a dolly. And then gets stabbed by a corpse just as Ragey McRage shows up. A regular day in Pete Milligan's head then. Still crap.

Stormwatch #7: Um. What? Wordy confusing rubbish. Time to pull it.

Suicide Squad #7: Hooray! Amanda Waller blows the head off a JT Krul creation! Wishful thinking on Adam Glass' behalf? A metaphor for comics readers everywhere? But the rest of the issue... wow. The retelling of Harley and her pudding is cute fun but I don't think any of us saw the end coming. Best thing in this whole pile by a significant margin.

Swamp Thing #7: Maybe that last entry was an overstatement. This pushes it unbelievably close and might actually be better. It's basically and extended lecture to Alec from the Parliament of Trees surrounded by some gorgeous artwork, but Alec's submission to the inevitable and the retribution show this is a keeper. Scott Snyder is writing nearly all the best books in the Johnsiverse. How does this happen? A triumph, whatever.

My guess? He writes a high-profile-ish title co-created by Stephen King and thusly probably doesn't have to deal with the level of editorial dipshittery that the flood of departing creators have had to.

BONUS BACKUP STORY! ALDO WHINGES ABOUT THE SHITE HE WASN'T PREPARED TO PAY FOR!

Batwing #7: As this story comes to an end, I'm actually enjoying it again. It was never strong enough to be title on its own but it's actually been pretty strong and the revelation of the shame of The Kingdom and the subsequent fallout is pretyt rivetting. It doesn't need the whole Batclub, but they're not really in it enough to matter. As a book, a failure, but probably worth getting as a trade for people who do that sort of thing.

Green Arrow #7: What a difference having an actual writer makes. It's still not any good, but it's a step in the right direction. The annoying triplets feels like it's been done lots of times before but is distracting enough, and the jet crash is (I'm sure) supposed to be reminiscent of the original crash in the sea (yes, I know it was a yacht) in the original original origin. Yes, since this is the New DC then sex and lust have to be the trap but I'm sure Anne Nocenti is good enough to shake off the yoke of DiDiopression. Not going to start buying it, but not painful to read any more - although the art is vile.

JLI #7: Aargh. Mid-80s high-emotion people-angst books. "You take care of her, you hear!" "Lots of people lost good people in the bomb. Yours isn't any more special." Anyway, Rocket Red gets all his armour blown off, Ice and Vixen are crippled and Fire is in a coma. Booster and Guy are angry. Booster is so angry about it, he writes about it on his Facespace page. I think I've been in a coma since 1988 and am reading a brand-new, just out book. Help me.

Men of War #7: The first story is like Garth Ennis' War Stories books, only not any good. The second is by JT Krul. A waste of paper.

OMAC #7: And now, in the second last issue, it throws Kamandi into the mix as well. A misunderstood masterpiece, even if it rips off Kirby in EVERY SINGLE PANEL. Another one where people should buy the trade, as the collected edition of this will be an absolute joy.

Static Shock #7: Conversely, there is nothing to enjoy about this at all. Except maybe "Phayze". That's a hip and happening name for a black teenage villain, I imagine. What's that? It isn't? Oh well.

Deathstroke #7: Do you really need me to tell you? Daddy issues and blokes stabbing each other. As entertaining as you'd imagine it is.

Green Lantern #7: Hal doesn't want to be GL any more. Sinestro tries to convince him he should, so Hal responds by becoming GL in protest. Wtf? Anyway, they have to stop the Indigo Tribe (who may be the Guardians' new pet project) and get transported into space, so Carol becomes Star Sapphire again. Plus some other history from Geoff Johns books you've never read or cared about. What I still don't get is how the GLs avoided Flashpoint, since it was supposed to be Barry Allen changing time everywhere although he did for some Lanterns, just not all of them. Editor!

Grifter #7: A long fight between Grifter and Midnighter, interspersed with them spouting more Wildstorms shite to alleviate the FITEING does not make an entertaining book. I can't work out who wins, but Midnighter now seems to have atomic fists.A waste of time.

Mister Terrific #7: Invisible enemies. Again. I swear half the books in the reboot have had invisible foes at some point. I have decided it is just to save ink. There's no other explanation. And there's no explanation for paying money for this book. Bottom of the barrel stuff. Digitus turns up next month, apparently. I bet you can't wait.

Resurrection Man #7: MAKE IT STOP. In this issue, some police find Mitch and he dies. Then, luckily, he gets a power which helps him in the position he's in. Then the issue's over. I think that's explained every issue to date. It's like The Littlest Hobo without the dog.

Superboy #7: No universe punching, just moping round N.O.W.H.E.R.E. fighting jealous sisters. Fairchild is still alive and Wonder Girl turns up at the end, just before Grunge. Yes, it's 1992. Oh boy. This leads into RAVAGERS, apparently, which can't be a good thing.

Hawk & Dove #7: Liefeld, Liefeld and Marat Michaels. Page 3 implies Dawn has no nipples (or only one). I'm going with none, given her dress is sheer enough to show her navel. "Chicken and waffles? My treat?" "See, that's music I can groove to." Oh, and the foot in Hunter's first panel. Hunter's super-long and, apparently, bisected arm in the panel where Hawk attacks him. An Oriental (?) woman with a massive package turns up and explains the plot to the stars. Entertaining for all the wrong reasons, again.

And that's me for four weeks. Until then, MAKE MINE MEDIOCRE!

IT'S BOB HARRAS' WORLD, ROB JUST LIVES IN IT

Rob Liefeld is a bit worried about sales on the three books that he is taking over, and ingeniously reviving by combining them into one "cosmic" crossover storyline (shocked, I say shocked, that dude doesn't have three different ideas in his head for these three comics and is going to write them as one).

Despite the best efforts of the creative teams, sales have fallen off a cliff for these books. In May we provide new jumping on points 4 all

Don't worry Rob, you'll probably be made EIC once these flop: HAWKMAN is currently ranked 103rd and DEATHSTROKE 104th, each selling approx 15% of what Batman does. GRIFTER is 126th, selling 12/BatmanX100.

Liefeld's axed HAWK AND DOVE was in 135th, 11% of a Batman.

Still! The dude obviously has a keen plan for how to revitalise HAWKMAN, seven issues after his convoluted history was finally resolved with the refreshing line-wide Nu-52 reboot:

We are streamlining it all ... brand new myth revealed!

What a head-slappingly elegant solution! Except for in 1961, 1985, 1989, 1990, c. 1991, c. 1992, 1994, 1999, 2002, 2005, 2008 and 2011, no-one has ever thought to reboot Hawkman's continuity in order to smooth out and streamline all the inconsistencies. This bold new 2012 initiative is proof enough of why Rob's creative vision should be part of the cohesive new, well-planned continuity.

BTW: Twitter reveals Rob to be both wildly enthusiastic:

https://chart.googleapis.com/chart?cht=p3&chs=600x300&chd=t:0.423814730146,0.576185269854&chl=With|Without&chtt=Percent+of+Tweets+With+Exclamation+Points&chco=0000FF
(image probably won't show - from excitableliefeld.com)

and an illiterate doofus unaware that foreign languages are, you know, a "thing":

Zoo Be Zoo Be Zoo

I'll be humming that all night. #madmen

Zoo B Zoo B Zoo

I haven't been following the new Wonder Woman series, but according to the reviews Brian Azzarello has decided to deconstruct the Amazons so that they are horrible rapists and murderers? Which, as Kelly Thompson points out here, is kind of a shitty move, considering that WW and the Amazons are one of the few (and probably the most iconic) positive examples of female empowerment in superhero comics. Despite not having liked Azzarello's previous comics (for the exact reason that they felt overtly dark and "edgy") I was considering of giving his WW run a go, but now I'm not so sure if I want to...

Thompson is going off half-cocked. She keeps pointing out in that piece that she doesn't know this, that or the other but decides to rail against it anyways instead of waiting to see where it leads. She also conveniently skips over huge swathes of the Wonder Woman stories (like her origin as a fetish-perv's dream) to fit her own conceptions of the Amazons and what they stand for. She has a point but not as strong or convincingly argued one as she thinks.

If you skip Wonder Woman you're missing one of the few highlights of the new 52. Just remember it's more of a classic Vertigo comic than an 4-color romp.

She also conveniently skips over huge swathes of the Wonder Woman stories (like her origin as a fetish-perv's dream) to fit her own conceptions of the Amazons and what they stand for.

TBH though, I think her criticism is based on how the Amazons were presented in the comics that preceded the new reboot, which doesn't seem like a terribly unfair point of comparison. Gail Simone's recent run especially did a nice job of depicting the Amazons as not-perfect, while still keeping the female empowerment aspect.

If you skip Wonder Woman you're missing one of the few highlights of the new 52. Just remember it's more of a classic Vertigo comic than an 4-color romp.

I guess I might still check the new WW out once it gets collected, but IMO if Azzarello wanted to write a Vertigo comic, he should've done a Vertigo comic with original characters. If you get handed an established, iconic character, you have a certain responsibility towards the history of said character, especially if the character is one of the few feminist icons superhero comics have. Like some of the commenters in the Thompson article point out, I don't think that many readers would want to see a Superhero where Ma and Pa Kent turn out to be racist bigots, or a Spider-Man story where Uncle Ben is a pedophile, even if the story itself was good.

But I accept that still particular arc isn't over yet, so maybe the twist will be overturned or something.

Anyway, I realize I'm criticizing a comic I haven't read (except for those few pages quoted in the Thompson article), so I'll try to do that before saying anything more on the subject.

What part of reboot is beyond people's understanding? It doesn't matter what Simone or Perez or anyone did with any of the characters. This is a new take, freed from the slavish, nonsensical continuity. Those stories still exist, in the same way s&m Wonder Woman does, and nothing Azzarello does will change that fact.

I should have said Vertigo precursor. This in tone is like Animal Man or Swamp Thing or Shade or Sandman of the late 80s (it's unfamiliar take on the familiar owes much Sandman). The Greek myths are nasty, cruel, vicious, capricious, etc., and his Wonder Woman is both of and apart from that world.

I think Thompson is premature in her fear of non-empowerment. This is the story one God has told her, and the Gods have already proven to be duplicitous and false in the comic. Nothing is as it seems, and Wonder Woman's surety in her actions are continually undercut both from within and without.

Justice League #7 had a little bit of water-treading but was great; it's kind of fun seeing the DC big guns be mostly abrasive and somewhat annoying to each other.

Also Batman is hilarious.

The presentation iof the Amazons is very consistent with their Greek muth origins, which is all of a piece with the comic as a whole. Works very well, I think, but I have no fondness and little knowledge of earlier versions of Wonder Woman.

Fair enough, but if you read the article I linked to and the comments, the problem many Wonder Woman fans have with the new series is before it, that DC Amazons were not, and have never been, consistent with the Greek myth. They were, essentially, a feminist reinterpretation of a sexist myth. So I can see why changing them so that they are in accordance with the original myth would upset many people, especially those who have found the female empowerment aspect of the DC Amazons appealing.

EZ Snappin is right to suggest that WW's status as a feminist icon or whatevs is not straight-forward or unproblematic, and its further complicated by the character being a corporate comic property that can be rewritten or revised in hundreds of different ways, depending on editorial whim, greed, stupidty etc - i mean, is azzarello (a writer i have never ever cared for tbh) 'betraying' THIS entirely legitimate vision/version of WW?:
http://www.comicshack.com/Images/WonderWomanVol1158Th88456_f.jpg

Again, that is from decades ago. I assume the critics of Azzarello's series are contrasting it with the more recent, post-Crisis version of Wonder Woman and the Amazons.

Also, Egg Fu has nothing to do with the Amazons, which is what the controversy is about.

Egg Fu should be in all New 52 titles.

ah was just reading about Egg Fu in an old issue of Ambush Bug