How strong and inept are your hands, geez
― aka vanilla bean (remy bean), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:23 (twelve years ago) link
*buys loaf of bread, tomato, package of bacon, head of lettuce**makes blt**forgets remaining 90% of ingredients in fridge for three weeks*
― the prurient pinterest (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:24 (twelve years ago) link
Now all I can picture w/r/t poor lex is
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjvQRerJu0g
― butvi wouls (Phil D.), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:24 (twelve years ago) link
*sneaks into hurting 2's house and makes a bunch of blts, confident he will never miss them*
― A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:24 (twelve years ago) link
xp yeah I'm pretty sure thats the way most people ITT are picturing me
― frogbs, Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:25 (twelve years ago) link
the ineptness of my hands is the central issue here for me. they are very very very inept
― lex pretend, Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:25 (twelve years ago) link
Spray cheese reminds me of doggy diarrhea , but maybe that is yr solution
― aka vanilla bean (remy bean), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:25 (twelve years ago) link
lex are you Edward Scisshorhands?
― butvi wouls (Phil D.), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:26 (twelve years ago) link
with the boiled egg incident, the egg actually boiled fine, but when i was trying to peel it, it wouldn't peel, and i somehow ripped the egg in half and the whole thing fell in the bin
it was my last egg :(
― lex pretend, Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:26 (twelve years ago) link
in the end, not a single piece will be satisfying.
And then the neurasthenic took his own life in despair.
― L'ennui, cette maladie de tous les (Michael White), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:29 (twelve years ago) link
I have been playing piano for 25 years now. In my experience, it costs less for me to hear someone else play it, and they'll probably play it better. But it's more satisfying to do it at home where, hopefully, no one is listening.
― Eric H., Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:29 (twelve years ago) link
― lex pretend, Wednesday, March 14, 2012 12:26 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
this is genuinely heartbreaking
― A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:30 (twelve years ago) link
what happened to the other 11 eggs??
Re: spray cheese and other home cooking concerns, everyone eventually changes their tune when their metabolism starts to change
― Eric H., Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:30 (twelve years ago) link
dr. strongo's neuvo cuisine
― flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:34 (twelve years ago) link
lex did you let the egg cool first, run it under cold water, etc?
― L'ennui, cette maladie de tous les (Michael White), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:35 (twelve years ago) link
It's some kind of communist connection to the fruits of your labour, I suspect, lex. Seriously, if you're ever near Exeter, let me know, come round, I'll cook.
― Sick Mouthy (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 15:59 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
I do wonder about this. The first part, not SM hitting on Lex.
― ↖MODERNIST↗ hangups (thomp), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:35 (twelve years ago) link
Eric, is that a pro canned cheese or an anti canned cheese stance?
― aka vanilla bean (remy bean), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:36 (twelve years ago) link
i'm glad i learned the basics of cooking at Big Bob's Our Place, Double Play Sports Bar & Grill, and Stub and Herb's working part time in high school and college
― konybrony (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:36 (twelve years ago) link
will someone please let the lex off of the hook and tell him everything's okay. i can't take another botched meal anecdote.
― scott seward, Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:36 (twelve years ago) link
nb, do not stand on canned cheese because you might slip, hilariously
― aka vanilla bean (remy bean), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:37 (twelve years ago) link
I'm pretty sure that objectively my not-great tofu and whatever meals aren't any better than going to the mediocre Chinese place two minutes away. But I feel a lot better about them. Communism.
Covent Garden soups I always end up eating at work a whole lot and are kind of the epitome of 'I wish I had something better to eat but I'm not, I'm eating this'
― ↖MODERNIST↗ hangups (thomp), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:37 (twelve years ago) link
It's a pragmatic canned cheese stance.
― Eric H., Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:37 (twelve years ago) link
siiiigh no. lots of people have since told me this is what i should have done. i don't know where they learned it from. nonetheless i have not recovered my confidence re: eggs sufficiently to attempt them again
― lex pretend, Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:38 (twelve years ago) link
It sounds like Lex really doesn't want to start cooking-maybe he could, if he really wanted to, but he doesn't, so why be so pushy about it? Also it's not like he goes to McDonald's for every meal, or eats nothing but Pop Tarts, it sounds like he has a reasonable diet, not worse than that of many who do cook.
As far as OG etc, I agree they are not really innocuous due to food production methods, their effect on local culture etc, but IME, people who make a display of how much they hate OG rarely make it about that. They don't even mention factory farms, regional culture, local economy etc-it usually seems more an opportunity to display their superior taste, and experience and knowledge of "authentic" food.
― MrDasher, Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:38 (twelve years ago) link
Meh, it's OK to hate things that taste bad, are overpriced and horrifically unhealthy.
― Eric H., Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:39 (twelve years ago) link
It sounds like Lex really doesn't want to start cooking-maybe he could, if he really wanted to, but he doesn't, so why be so pushy about it?
we have an interest in making this thread very long
― Exile in lolville (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:39 (twelve years ago) link
i only just read this. it's funny/sweet because she so politely avoids going into detail about the food and quietly minimizes the damage: "Instead of the raspberry lemonade she suggested, I drank water."
― the "intenterface" (difficult listening hour), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:40 (twelve years ago) link
i posted this last night in the gay thread:
i tried to steam some broccoli the other week and it just...i have no idea why it didn't work. i thought i knew how to do it. i've done it before. but nothing happened. i ended up having to gnaw sadly on semi-raw florets.
― lex pretend, Tuesday, March 13, 2012 4:10 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
along with the last time i tried to join in on pancake day and toss pancakes, which ended in disaster when i somehow managed to toss the entire frying pan :(
― lex pretend, Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:40 (twelve years ago) link
if you're buying 12-15 things to make a stir-fry it's not exactly easy to plan out how you're going to use everything else, try as we might― frogbs, Wednesday, March 14, 2012 11:10 AM (20 minutes ago)
Yes, it is. You're not trying hard enough.
― Carlos Pollomar (WmC), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:41 (twelve years ago) link
beginning to think your problem might not be cooking
― iatee, Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:41 (twelve years ago) link
buy less things to make a stir-fry imo
― A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:41 (twelve years ago) link
i think i understand now lex - you've learned your kitchen techniques from saturday morning cartoons
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:41 (twelve years ago) link
stop cooking on ketamine!
― scott seward, Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:42 (twelve years ago) link
i heard an interview with her son on local npr. he writes for the wsj! nothing too revelatory but he did have to explain to his mom what 'going viral' meant.
― goole, Wednesday, March 14, 2012 9:36 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
oh ha i just remembered something pretty funny: the host asked the guy how, since she is very non-negative about anything, you could tell if she was giving a place a bad review? and his answer was if she writes more about the decor, the food probably isn't too hot.
didn't marilyn spend like five paragraphs on the seating?
― goole, Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:44 (twelve years ago) link
the famed olive garden review might have been a vicious pan all along
Lex's cookophobia is fun!
― Sick Mouthy (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:44 (twelve years ago) link
goole this has been mentioned
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:47 (twelve years ago) link
― lex pretend, Wednesday, March 14, 2012 11:40 AM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
haha i hope this was accompanied by one of those "falling on banana peel" slide whistles
― konybrony (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:48 (twelve years ago) link
sorry, this thread is bonkers
― goole, Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:49 (twelve years ago) link
I'm just talking about makin fancy, good restaurant quality stuff, not your evryday meal. I don't think my grocery bills/trash piles are any higher than yours.
― frogbs, Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:49 (twelve years ago) link
I'm just cracking up because I'm imagining Lex putting pancake batter into a pan, and then putting that pan in a larger pan, and then attempting to flip the smaller pan with the larger pan.
― thuggish ruggish Brahms (DJP), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:50 (twelve years ago) link
is that what 'pancake day' means
― A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:51 (twelve years ago) link
No, that's a sex act
― aka vanilla bean (remy bean), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:52 (twelve years ago) link
You take two intact...
i am a big fan of cooking alone, which is a totally chill relaxing yet mentally stimulating activity. i do like to have someone to share the results with if i'm making anything remotely ambitious.
if i still lived alone i'd be having brown rice salmon and kale every night.
― call all destroyer, Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:52 (twelve years ago) link
Lex should compile all the stories into some Švejk-like compendium of mishaps.
― L'ennui, cette maladie de tous les (Michael White), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:56 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.collegecomplements.com/img/products/Norpro-Pancake-Turner.jpg
alien technology — recovered from Area 51, starting to be seen in test labs in Dubuque and East Lansing.
― Carlos Pollomar (WmC), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:56 (twelve years ago) link
Omelette probe
― aka vanilla bean (remy bean), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 16:57 (twelve years ago) link
xxpost
yeah if i'm cooking something simple but tasty i have no prob cooking/eating alone.
but if it's something fancy or ambitious i want an audience or collaborator.
― flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 18:01 (twelve years ago) link