Marilyn Haggerty's amazing Olive Garden review and the subsequent viral shitstorm

yeah cooking w/ other folks is fun. actually cooking FOR other folks (even if they don't pitch in) is fun. cooking by yourself for yourself can be fun, but it is distinctly less fun than the other options.

cooking along can be kind of sucky, but if you have the right music on and the right drink you can feel like clive owen or some shit

― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, March 14, 2012 12:13 PM (49 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

me every night yo 8)

well... maybe not every night... but many nights!

cooking alone is a p miserable process.

Cooking alone is, tbf, pretty rubbish.

cooking by yourself for yourself can be fun, but it is distinctly less fun than the other options.

SO IT TURNS OUT YOU ALL AGREE WITH ME AFTER ALL

yes, when the missus isn't home I usually just make a BLT or something, which is not really cooking (total cost = $4. in case you were wondering)

i mean...that is why i don't cook! because it's not remotely fun!

Cooking alone is great, you weirdos

i love cooking by myself! with friends and lovers its even better.

do you people not masturbate??

one dollar for each slice of bread, one dollar for a few leaves of lettuce, 25 cents each for two slices of bacon, 25 cents for a slice of tomato

I cook at least four times a week for and by myself!

frankly baffled by the continuing references to masturbation in this thread.

mayo is extra

- max's slogan

i mean...that is why i don't cook! because it's not remotely fun!

― lex pretend, Wednesday, March 14, 2012 11:15 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i thought it was because YOU ARE RECEIVING DISABILITY CHECKS FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO MAKE PASTA SAUCE

It is engaging and empowering to make yourself something uniquely calibrated to your own tastes.

how do you mess up cheese and crackers....?

one dollar for each slice of bread, one dollar for a few leaves of lettuce, 25 cents each for two slices of bacon, 25 cents for a slice of tomato

+ $2.50 for an avocado

can we go back to discussing Marilyn Haggerty

I did make an awesome moussaka the first day Em was away.

I mean, all you have to do is slice some cheese and put it on a cracker, there's no actual cooking involved

how do you mess up cheese and crackers....?

structurally unsound crackers are the bane of my life

you should make your own crackers!

(kidding.)

Yeah I don't get it frogbs are you charging the entire cost of each ingredient to each meal? Cuz that's some fucked up accounting.

trying to cut a piece of cheese can be hard. you end up with slices that are way too thin and some that are very thick. and some that are thick at the top, but are only half size. in the end, not a single piece will be satisfying.

tragic cheese-n-crackers mishap

haha okay that is not "messing up cheese and crackers", that is "an unavoidable side-effect of constantly eating cheese and crackers"

How strong and inept are your hands, geez

*buys loaf of bread, tomato, package of bacon, head of lettuce*
*makes blt*
*forgets remaining 90% of ingredients in fridge for three weeks*

Now all I can picture w/r/t poor lex is

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjvQRerJu0g

*sneaks into hurting 2's house and makes a bunch of blts, confident he will never miss them*

xp yeah I'm pretty sure thats the way most people ITT are picturing me

the ineptness of my hands is the central issue here for me. they are very very very inept

Spray cheese reminds me of doggy diarrhea , but maybe that is yr solution

lex are you Edward Scisshorhands?

with the boiled egg incident, the egg actually boiled fine, but when i was trying to peel it, it wouldn't peel, and i somehow ripped the egg in half and the whole thing fell in the bin

it was my last egg :(

in the end, not a single piece will be satisfying.

And then the neurasthenic took his own life in despair.

I have been playing piano for 25 years now. In my experience, it costs less for me to hear someone else play it, and they'll probably play it better. But it's more satisfying to do it at home where, hopefully, no one is listening.

with the boiled egg incident, the egg actually boiled fine, but when i was trying to peel it, it wouldn't peel, and i somehow ripped the egg in half and the whole thing fell in the bin

it was my last egg :(

― lex pretend, Wednesday, March 14, 2012 12:26 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this is genuinely heartbreaking

what happened to the other 11 eggs??

Re: spray cheese and other home cooking concerns, everyone eventually changes their tune when their metabolism starts to change

dr. strongo's neuvo cuisine

lex did you let the egg cool first, run it under cold water, etc?

It's some kind of communist connection to the fruits of your labour, I suspect, lex. Seriously, if you're ever near Exeter, let me know, come round, I'll cook.

― Sick Mouthy (Scik Mouthy), Wednesday, 14 March 2012 15:59 (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I do wonder about this. The first part, not SM hitting on Lex.

Eric, is that a pro canned cheese or an anti canned cheese stance?

i'm glad i learned the basics of cooking at Big Bob's Our Place, Double Play Sports Bar & Grill, and Stub and Herb's working part time in high school and college

will someone please let the lex off of the hook and tell him everything's okay. i can't take another botched meal anecdote.

nb, do not stand on canned cheese because you might slip, hilariously

I'm pretty sure that objectively my not-great tofu and whatever meals aren't any better than going to the mediocre Chinese place two minutes away. But I feel a lot better about them. Communism.

Covent Garden soups I always end up eating at work a whole lot and are kind of the epitome of 'I wish I had something better to eat but I'm not, I'm eating this'