Marilyn Haggerty's amazing Olive Garden review and the subsequent viral shitstorm

David: Like, "why is this person all on my ass about the breadsticks? I am fine with the very large amount of breadsticks I already have."

Maria: "What are you doing here again with that basket of ancient-garlic-scented sofa cushions?"

David: Because I am still working my way through the last batch o' cushions, thanks. They taste like they were flavored by Glaxo SmithKline, but I’m working on them.

Who are these two? They are fantastic.

eating healthy and cooking for yourself would be way cheaper than eating at olive garden. i'm sure i could make a good healthy meal that costs less than four people eating at mcdonalds too!

I could probably benefit from a course in grocery economics.

The gay thread and the Olive Garden threads finally intersect

It still feels like I'm spending way more to prepare a meal for myself than if I were to just buy a frozen pot pie.

now we need Lex to write a piece about his first visit to an Olive Garden in Poughkeepsie.

The gay thread and the Olive Garden threads finally intersect

"Here, you're family."

xpost -- He wouldn't like it, it would be situational comedy.

Just remembered an Italian restaurant that's worse than anything else ever -- Fazoli's. I'd rather eat Sbarro every day for the rest of my life.

I just started reading this, seems like it is relevant to this thread's interests.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/517rHnCIMIL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg

the physical deterioration scott describes is brought home to me every time I stop at a Florida Turnpike rest stop before midnight and peek into the Sbarro.

i could make a yummy spaghetti and meatball dinner for four with fresh garlic bread - and even grate fresh parmesan on the garlic bread before i put in the oven for you cheese lovers - and do it for, like, 20 bucks. in 30 minutes. average cost of mcdonalds meal per person is probably what? 6 bucks or more? plus gas money to get there and back? and a salad. i'd make a salad. still cheaper probably.

i concur with scott and i must repeat my annoyance at the idea stated in that awl piece that going to a small, family-run chinese restaurant is somehow 'snobby'

― A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Wednesday, March 14, 2012 10:06 AM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

capn save a gold here

Here's the real problem with places like OG. This item is a freakin' appetizer:

Item 	      Calories 	Total Fat (g) 	Sat. Fat (g) 	Sodium 	Carb. (g) 	Fiber (g) 	Protein (g)
Bruschetta 	950 	   13 	            2.5 	 2860 	  173 	          6 	           35 

950 calories!!!

holy shit @ at that sodium count

for BRUSCHETTA.

I assume they're referring to chowhound-style authenticity trawling and not just the mere act of visiting your local chinese restaurant.

well that probably is for a table of people tbf

I mean who orders a big plate of bruschetta and then chows down on the whole thing alone

I assume they're referring to chowhound-style authenticity trawling and not just the mere act of visiting your local chinese restaurant.

― the prurient pinterest (Hurting 2), Wednesday, March 14, 2012 10:32 AM (5 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

they're talking about j gold

Whadathey brusch it with?

well, who orders a "calzone" at Sbarro and eats it?

xxp Yeah, these people:

http://buffman.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/WALL-E-humans_320.jpg

Item 	                      Calories 	Total Fat (g) 	Sat. Fat (g) 	Sodium 	Carb. (g) 	Fiber (g) 	Protein (g)
Fettuccine Alfredo (dinner) 	1220 	   75 	            47 	          1350 	  99 	           5 	           36 

1220 calories, 75 fat grams, 1350mg of sodium. It's what's for dinner!

I assume they're referring to chowhound-style authenticity trawling and not just the mere act of visiting your local chinese restaurant.

― the prurient pinterest (Hurting 2), Wednesday, March 14, 2012 10:32 AM (5 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

they're talking about j gold

― A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Wednesday, March 14, 2012 10:32 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Right, who I don't know very well but I assume he's this kind of food critic. Like Robert Sietsema but more irritating, is the impression I get.

i could make a yummy spaghetti and meatball dinner for four with fresh garlic bread - and even grate fresh parmesan on the garlic bread before i put in the oven for you cheese lovers - and do it for, like, 20 bucks. in 30 minutes.

good for you, i couldn't

Right, who I don't know very well but I assume he's this kind of food critic. Like Robert Sietsema but more irritating, is the impression I get.

― the prurient pinterest (Hurting 2), Wednesday, March 14, 2012 10:35 AM (14 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you get the wrong impression, he is awesome

- capn save a gold

no you probably could unless you don't have hands or something xp

i heard an interview with her son on local npr. he writes for the wsj! nothing too revelatory but he did have to explain to his mom what 'going viral' meant.

i do wonder why anyone would go to a chain restaurant if they live in a big city like london that has a wealth of superior, cheaper restaurants, but y'know everyone ends up in a pizza express a couple of times per year. i find most proper fast food like mcdonald's really gross though. i HATE it when i see people trot out the "everyone should cook their own food" line, fuck off!

lex over 50% of people in the uk and i guess in the us too don't live in a big city like london.

j gold is awesome, they are just using him as a counterpoint because he wrote a "real restaurant reviewers review" of olive garden

iatee, kitchen and computer uselessness is a big part of lex's schtick -- it's a readymade something to throw a tantrum about when he just feels like throwing a tantrum -- so he'll never ever learn how to cook, or allow anyone to teach him

I think I've mentioned this before, but when my nephew graduated from HS I took him on a trip to NYC (he lives in NE Ohio, about 45 miles from Cleveland). He wanted to eat at: The Hard Rock Cafe (there's one of those in Cleveland, ffs), ESPNZone and Taco Bell. In New York. I got him to eat breakfast at Junior's one morning and that was a struggle. Drove me nuts.

i also just remembered that when i went to miami to do a travel feature, the PRs actually took us to this weird out-of-town mall and started giving us these spiels about how many brands had opened outlets there. and then i THINK for lunch they actually took us to...an olive garden. i can't remember exactly whether it was but it was a chain italian restaurant with totally faux-rustic decor which fits the descriptions i'm reading. the food was edible in a bog standard kind of way and the portions were gigantic. i have no idea why miami tourist board wasted a morning on taking us to that mall, all the journalists in the group were very bemused and also bored.

lex over 50% of people in the uk and i guess in the us too don't live in a big city like london.

yes i know, i'm saying IF they do i don't get why they'd go to a chain restaurant. if they don't that doesn't apply!

people who think my inability to cook is a schtick have obviously never seen me in the kitchen. and why would i allow computers to repeatedly ruin my life if i really knew how to control them.

I just said why.

47 g of saturated fat?! I think it only takes about 40 grams in the span of your entire life to ensure a heart attack.

eating healthy and cooking for yourself would be way cheaper than eating at olive garden. i'm sure i could make a good healthy meal that costs less than four people eating at mcdonalds too!

Okay, I take exception to this. Your average meal for 2 at OG is what, 30 bucks? 35? Maybe you're just a better shopper than I am, but it's hard to make a good homecooked meal for less than that. My wife often gets frustrated about how hard it is to make real Mexican food on a budget, because there are so many vegetables involved and all that's expensive. Getting an avacado, 3 bell peppers, and two tomatoes alone is like $10. I like the "save money by eating in" line too but once you add up grocery bills - just doesn't happen

The math might check out if you're incredibly good at using everything you have. But, yeah, I'm not the type to have a pantry full of options, so any time I get the urge to make even just homemade mac & cheese, I end up dropping at least $15 at the grocery store to get all the ingredients.

where in the world do you guys shop?

And what the fuck is wrong with you?

(them, I mean, not CAD)

Getting an avacado, 3 bell peppers, and two tomatoes alone is like $10.

whaaaaaaat

are the bell peppers made of gold or something

yeah i don't habitually cook so i don't have the ingredients, and buying ingredients is a waste of money because i don't cook so they won't get used up and will rot or go off

"using everything you have" is really the key point here. that's hard to do if there's any level of complexity to what you're cooking. like if I'm making chicken and rice w/ a salad, that's pretty easy and fairly cheap. but still it runs around $15-20. you're not saving that much money!

Not only is that in itself ridiculous, but if you actually make a quantity of that food requiring three peppers and two tomatoes, you should have leftovers for two for at least two more meals.