Now that we found love what are we gonna do? The Winter 2011-12 Gay Thread

i say i didn't try very hard but i tried hard enough to learn that 100% of the time something unexpected will go badly wrong and 100% of the time i will hate the whole process even when that thing hasn't happened yet. i feel about it like i feel about public speaking - ie total terror - except i can actually visualise myself overcoming it with public speaking. in the kitchen i go to pieces and it's just not gonna be any other way ever

i live with 3 housemates, 2 of whom cook regularly and the other of whom burns porridge because she feels too much pressure while it's on the stove

oh no doubt you will burn the rice or undercook the chicken your first time. That's normal.

i don't even know what marinating is

i'm lolling so hard at the idea of cracking under pressure while making porridge

lex!

you haven't even talked about cleaning up. I have newspapers on the floor from 3 years ago.

i don't even know what marinating is

it's similar to what some of us do when we're dateless on a Friday night.

i mean the worst that happens (if you're cooking for yourself) is you screw up and have to eat something that's slightly not right and/or just toss everything and learn from your mistakes

You guys are in fine form today. Congrats!

i'm lolling so hard at the idea of cracking under pressure while making porridge

the funny thing is she never actually stopped looking at the porridge because she was so terrified of burning it, and it burned anyway

i mean the worst that happens (if you're cooking for yourself) is you screw up and have to eat something that's slightly not right and/or just toss everything and learn from your mistakes

no the worst that can happen is full-on mental breakdown and tears of frustration, it has sent me to the EDGE OF SANITY

Sotosyn, in his own juices

you can always do this with the milk

http://cdn.trendhunterstatic.com/phpthumbnails/56/56493/56493_1_468c.jpeg

i tried to steam some broccoli the other week and it just...i have no idea why it didn't work. i thought i knew how to do it. i've done it before. but nothing happened. i ended up having to gnaw sadly on semi-raw florets.

no the worst that can happen is full-on mental breakdown and tears of frustration, it has sent me to the EDGE OF SANITY

― lex pretend, Tuesday, March 13, 2012 12:09 PM (23 seconds ago) Bookmark

i would TOTALLY watch a show on A&E that just profiles people who try and boil rice but in the process break down and cry and nearly go insane

Sotosyn, in his own juices

Crunchy on the outside, with a sour core.

that reminds me of the time(s) i absent-mindedly take a drink of water while sitting at my desk and, like...miss my mouth completely. once i poured like a pint of water all over my shoulder :(

i ended up having to gnaw sadly on semi-raw florets.

the most heartbreaking sentence I've read all week

oh well i'm clumsy like that too

that reminds me of the time(s) i absent-mindedly take a drink of water while sitting at my desk and, like...miss my mouth completely. once i poured like a pint of water all over my shoulder :(

You have a drinking problem

on saturday night i was making chili and i went to put some salt in it and the top fell off and the entire shaker of salt fell into the pot

i've legit never been as heartbroken in my entire life

on saturday night i was making chili and i went to put some salt in it and the top fell off and the entire shaker of salt fell into the pot

this is it! something like this always happens when i set foot in the kitchen. if i'm very lucky i get away with opening cupboards without something china or glass smashing

alfred, we should've cooked for lex instead of taking him out to dinner on lincoln road

what and take the risk of splashing him with scalding water?

we could've put on a little tutorial in your kitchen

lex has long professed his aversion to cooking, i don't think he's going to be convinced today, and that's ok! but really, cooking is awesome & fun for me and really one of the ~sensual~ foundations of my relationship tbh. eat together! get drunk together! feed each other! grow fat together! hoorah

eat together! get drunk together! feed each other! grow fat together! hoorah

― i think this is serious (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, March 13, 2012 12:17 PM (11 seconds ago) Bookmark

i totally feel this

today i was just recounting to my housemate the last time i tried to toss pancakes a few years ago, which ended in utter disaster*. i have not tried since

*the pancakes kept flopping limply and not going over so i tried to do it a bit harder and somehow tossed the entire frying pan :(

I can manage pancakes

some of u can give me a kitchen seminar when u come to EMP, eh

i am lucky to have Ryan's cooking in my life, he is like my very own mama celeste !

― surm, Tuesday, March 13, 2012 8:32 AM (45 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you are so cute

btw i will cook/bake/make cocktails for any of you dudes anytime

some of u can give me a kitchen seminar when u come to EMP, eh

only if certain panelists are the main course

i love cooking but i still manage to fuck up pancakes somehow, even tho i've made them several times

o i have no idea how to cook broccoli either lex, fyi

I've burned every pancake I've flipped...

I lost my fear of boiling when my mom forced me to cook my own Quaker Oats in high school.

yeah pancakes are tough

any good ideas on what to do with excess bacon grease/lard btw? was thinking corn muffins maybe

refried beans

make a pie crust with 1/2 lard 1/2 butter and make a savory tart

you can fry pancakes in bacon grease, if you're dirty like that

OOOOH that is an idea. maybe leek and goat cheese?

holy christ I'm hard

also bacon fat is v nice for skillet-roasted brussel sprouts or potatoes

i have heard that about potatoes but to be honest i don't feel comfortable using bacon fat to cook anything except bacon

that is just one step too far for me

oh shit yeah, potatoes cooked in bacon grease = all-time

i just . . . . the very idea

like let's use this fat from a pig

to cook my vegetables

no. i can't. i mean i'm sure i have no idea what i'm putting in my mouth half the time but yeah even animal broth freaks me out.

it's like what?

it's like making out with a sow

i mean i'm sure i have no idea what i'm putting in my mouth half the time

opengoal.jpg

:D