Is this whole cutesy bollocks a backlash against usernames and IP addresses and PIN numbers and suchlike? Fucking infantile if it is.
― Sick Mouthy (Scik Mouthy), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 07:44 (twelve years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vtr0c6oVvSM
― James Mitchell, Tuesday, 13 March 2012 08:27 (twelve years ago) link
A name's just another reference ID.
― get ready for the banter (NotEnough), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 10:37 (twelve years ago) link
An IPv4 address is way more unique than 'John Smith'. And if it's still not enough, use an IPv6 address.
― rain came down like water falling from the clouds (snoball), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 12:20 (twelve years ago) link
See, this is why my career as a stand-up comedian never took off.
― rain came down like water falling from the clouds (snoball), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 12:25 (twelve years ago) link
I insist on baristas addressing me by my IP address otherwise I pour hot coffee over them and shout "Wrong! Try again!"
― Suede - the fabric, not the band (DL), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 12:27 (twelve years ago) link
i disapprove and everything but lets face it i am going to go and tell them my name and get a free latte
― bosomy English rose (thomp), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 15:16 (twelve years ago) link
i don't even drink lattes
― bosomy English rose (thomp), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 15:17 (twelve years ago) link
I assume there's nothing to stop you telling them your name is Xerxes or Tamerlaine, should you wish to. It's a chance to be reborn with the name your parents should have given you.
― Une semaine de Bunty (ShariVari), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 15:25 (twelve years ago) link
i don't know, i fear there's going to be a form to fill in
are they going to have to call out the name at any point? i could claim to be called mike hunt and see if they throw me out for using a terrible old joke
― bosomy English rose (thomp), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 16:00 (twelve years ago) link
or just claim my name is 'latte'
'yeah uh my name is actually latte (pause) VAGINA, like that. you say latte and then you pause and yell vagina'
"my name is Costa"
― Kony Montana: "Say hello to my invisible friend" (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 16:02 (twelve years ago) link
"ipher gott"
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 16:04 (twelve years ago) link
Oh FFS. I don't want you to know my name, prickfeatures. In fact, this was the reason before I never went into the Gloria Jean's coffee shops, way before I found out they were run by evangelicals. So yeah, Starbucks, well done, now you sound like a bunch of rabid right-wing over-friendly glassy-eyed cult members.
― emil.y, Tuesday, 13 March 2012 16:10 (twelve years ago) link
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/02/24/article-2105882-11DDEE4C000005DC-701_468x711.jpg
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 16:12 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.innocentdrinks.co.uk/static/olympics/images/olympics_juice_label1.jpg
― James Mitchell, Monday, 19 March 2012 15:29 (twelve years ago) link
ffs
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Monday, 19 March 2012 16:12 (twelve years ago) link
is there a US brand that pulls this kind of stuff?
― goole, Monday, 19 March 2012 16:20 (twelve years ago) link
said it in the thread I think but fuck the assholes who write copy for Groupon gave me a p similar vibe
― Cantera: Vulgar Display Of Puyol (DJ Mencap), Monday, 19 March 2012 18:54 (twelve years ago) link
Kind of related...
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/new-festival-aimed-directly-at-twats-201203285064/
― mmmm, Wednesday, 28 March 2012 20:51 (twelve years ago) link
i like the Daily Mash because it demonstrates exactly how good The Onion's writing is
― red is hungry green is jawless (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 28 March 2012 20:58 (twelve years ago) link
"Tasty Little Numbers" - food for people who can't and won't count!
Packaging for a chocolate bar includes"I NEED DARK CHOCOLATE NOW!"the snacks that take the messin' outta guessin'!"
"If you are super busy, love life and real food (like me!), want to enjoy a healthy lifestyle but think that life is too short to eat diet food and tot up odd numbers of calories (like me!), then Tasty Little Numbers is for you!
... perfectly proportioned to whole numbers of calories so you get to leave the sums to the snacks that take the messin' outta guessin'!"
It even has a "Tasty before" date.
What's annoying me most is the suggestion that odd numbers aren't whole numbers.
― Djibril Citté (onimo), Thursday, 17 May 2012 10:22 (eleven years ago) link
Dammit I demand that calories and other nutritional data are expressed in scientific notation! Or failing that, as base 7 reals with 3 decimals of precision. I'm determined not to have gone through New Math for nothing.
― banal like anal (snoball), Thursday, 17 May 2012 10:36 (eleven years ago) link
Since coming back to the UK I've noticed tons of branding in the supermarkets which has gone all cutesy. I don't know if it's just a contrast with US brands or if they've actually gotten worse but they're all using childish non-threatening fonts and writing all kinds of shit over the front of the packaging (e.g. instead of 'Doughnuts' it says 'I'm a DOUGHNUT monster!'). I blame Innocent.
― kinder, Thursday, 17 May 2012 10:45 (eleven years ago) link
I imagine BrewDog would see themselves as the complete opposite of this kind of thing, but a lot of their cobblers is surprisingly similar:
"Bracken is James' Dad's chocolate lab. He recently appeared on Mastermind and progressed to the semi final with his specialist subject of 'The origins of Constitutional Democratic Government: Europe 1846-1912'. Unfortunately he missed the semi-final because he was busy chasing a stick.
He is our guard dog, head taster, accountant and general buddy! Be sure to say hi if you see him. He is very friendly! Apparently he loves a high-five… and a biscuit!"
― bham, Thursday, 17 May 2012 12:37 (eleven years ago) link
h8 the brewdog blurbs
― jabba hands, Thursday, 17 May 2012 13:07 (eleven years ago) link
everything about brew dog is reprehensible.
― zverotic discourse (jim in glasgow), Thursday, 17 May 2012 13:18 (eleven years ago) link
the pot noodle (i know) im currently eating: "Quality: if it's in perfect condition, happy days, if not, have a moan at the customer care department. And don't forget to quote the code on the pot so we know who to send back to noodle school".
― zverotic discourse (jim in glasgow), Thursday, 17 May 2012 13:22 (eleven years ago) link
KINDLY FUCK OFF.
i quite like the first sentence there, even if the second is terrible
― navihchkan (nakhchivan), Thursday, 17 May 2012 13:28 (eleven years ago) link
"happy days". not on my watch.
― zverotic discourse (jim in glasgow), Thursday, 17 May 2012 13:30 (eleven years ago) link
idk it seems like it's being used sarcastically? assuming that glaswegian pot noodles all speak like malcolm tucker
― navihchkan (nakhchivan), Thursday, 17 May 2012 13:32 (eleven years ago) link
"send back to noodle school" has some potential as a phrase, just not on the side of a pot noodle
― cissémanwhore (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 17 May 2012 14:42 (eleven years ago) link
Brewdog's short run taxidermy publicity stunt editions are pretty noize tbf
― cissémanwhore (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 17 May 2012 14:45 (eleven years ago) link
i don't think this kind of thing has really caught on the US yet
― goole, Thursday, 17 May 2012 17:27 (eleven years ago) link
'Happy Days' makes me think of that awful payday-loan-hawking cricket cunt Phil Tuffnell.
― sktsh, Thursday, 17 May 2012 19:05 (eleven years ago) link
My Tesco bagged salad has a skirt-wearing stick figure on the back and a Comic Sans story about some presumably imaginary lady growing their salad garden and all her brilliant ideas for growing better salads and then in bigger Comic Sans it says "we all think she's a bit of a star!"
Well, we all think you can fuck right off, Tesco marketing department.
That is all.
― instant coffee happening between us (a passing spacecadet), Thursday, 17 May 2012 20:54 (eleven years ago) link
Apparently my "call to grubhub may be recorded to ensure awesomeness"
gah
― American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Friday, 18 May 2012 00:28 (eleven years ago) link
flickr using
"Herding pandas..."
to mean "loading stuff" :(
― "What a book!" Terry Bland (onimo), Sunday, 17 June 2012 13:24 (eleven years ago) link
^
yeah somewhere along the line flickr turned into the OK Cola of websites
― brödinger's cat (Pillbox), Sunday, 17 June 2012 16:08 (eleven years ago) link
https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/404058_10151168286701204_2127498272_n.jpg
― caek, Wednesday, 8 August 2012 11:48 (eleven years ago) link
Yeesh. I look fwd to them patronising the other gold medal winners with regard to their epic "chasing people on bikes", "running really, really fast" and "shooting pigeons (not real ones!)" etc. Fuckers.
― that mustardless plate (Bill A), Wednesday, 8 August 2012 12:07 (eleven years ago) link
https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/418813_10151169993736204_265797513_n.jpg
― caek, Wednesday, 8 August 2012 12:25 (eleven years ago) link
wow the stuff they post on facebook
Letitia Jane Becher - as tempting as it would be to spend our days forging adorable letters from small children, we have better things to do with our time. Namely, finding pictures of baby duck billed platypuses to share with you on facebook, and sometimes squashing fruit into bottles, which keeps us pretty busy. Pictures of baby duck billed platypuses don't just find themselves you know, and it takes ages to get even the smallest of mangoes into a bottle.
Ugh.
― Temporarily Famous In The Czech Republic (ShariVari), Wednesday, 8 August 2012 12:35 (eleven years ago) link
this ad is tied into videos at my work, and i have to watch it a lot. god it's shit. bonus points for the ever-popular trustworthy northern narrator.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwtydLeYiDo
― Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 15:59 (eleven years ago) link
Andy Kershaw's probly got a lot of solicitor's fees to pay off tbf
― chow mein kampf (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 16:00 (eleven years ago) link
(innocent have moved, btw. the industrial estate in W12 (W6?) where Innocent Towers used to be now has a sign on the locked gate saying 'luxury apartments coming soon')
― koogs, Tuesday, 30 October 2012 16:07 (eleven years ago) link
xp I thought it was David "Bumble" Lloyd?
― Arvo Pärt Chimp (Neil S), Tuesday, 30 October 2012 16:20 (eleven years ago) link