'John Carter,' aka the Edgar Rice Burroughs 'A Princess of Mars' adaptation

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i think I am a person who likes this sort of thing. Buoyed by positive ilxor reviews itt

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 11 March 2012 05:57 (twelve years ago) link

Underwhelming performance?! After the great pains they took to keep the public from confusing it with Mars Needs Moms!? Surely people were all like, "John Carter? I don't know who he is but he sure sounds interesting! I have to spend $15 to find out more!"

Mark Kermode went on an unholy rant about this, not that that means absolutely anything at all qualitywise, but it made me more aware of just how much the knives were out due to its production cost. I think I'm going to see it this week just to spite that, but my local multiplex is only showing it twice a day in 2D and I can't be fucked with anymore retro-fitted 3D nonsense, unless any of you ILXors think it worth the extra dosh.

stay in school if you want to kiw (Gukbe), Sunday, 11 March 2012 06:21 (twelve years ago) link

Nah, 2D will be fine.

Ned Raggett, Sunday, 11 March 2012 06:24 (twelve years ago) link

yeah there's no reason to see this in 3D.

enjoy your fleetfoxesocracy sheeple (latebloomer), Sunday, 11 March 2012 06:27 (twelve years ago) link

http://www.tor.com/stories/2012/03/the-film-makers-of-mars

ha this is awesome read it

enjoy your fleetfoxesocracy sheeple (latebloomer), Sunday, 11 March 2012 07:10 (twelve years ago) link

Great story!

valleys of your mind (mh), Sunday, 11 March 2012 14:49 (twelve years ago) link

wow. stop what you're doing and read that article.

the late great, Sunday, 11 March 2012 17:51 (twelve years ago) link

ILXors voting with their dollars to fight the burying of $250 M films

Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 11 March 2012 17:55 (twelve years ago) link

Nice.

Spleen of Hearts (kingfish), Sunday, 11 March 2012 17:57 (twelve years ago) link

That article is A+++

that mustardless plate (Bill A), Sunday, 11 March 2012 18:01 (twelve years ago) link

thanks for linking that ryman piece, latebloomer. great great great

Fozzy Osbourne (contenderizer), Sunday, 11 March 2012 18:50 (twelve years ago) link

Mark Kermode went on an unholy rant about this, not that that means absolutely anything at all qualitywise, but it made me more aware of just how much the knives were out due to its production cost.

How did I ever not find Kermode completely awful? He's just insufferable now.

Pheeel, Sunday, 11 March 2012 21:06 (twelve years ago) link

That short story !!!! so good! SO good. Thanks for linking, lb

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 11 March 2012 21:08 (twelve years ago) link

alt-history science fiction we can get behind

valleys of your mind (mh), Sunday, 11 March 2012 23:45 (twelve years ago) link

Carter looks to have made about 30 million. Finke is probably gonna get out her autopsy gear, and I'm gonna puke.

stay in school if you want to kiw (Gukbe), Sunday, 11 March 2012 23:55 (twelve years ago) link

Saw a short NYTimes headline: "'Ishtar' Lands on Mars."

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 12 March 2012 12:50 (twelve years ago) link

I'm going to see this this weekend, assuming they don't pull it hard with a vengeance, but the biggest red flag was not all the bad promotion or the bad advance word, but ironically something that's been trotted out in the film's favor: the fact that the source material has been minded dozens of prominent times over the decades. We've see this before.

Admittedly, that doesn't explain why every other POS people have seen before gets seen these days, from sequels to franchise kickstarts. And even on the higher end of things, I have no idea why people in America would take a shot at "Tintin" (however modest) but not this.

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 12 March 2012 12:55 (twelve years ago) link

Ladies and gentlemen, future fall guy Rich Ross, former TV exec and chariman of Disney:

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2012/03/12/business/carterjump1color/carterjump1color-articleInline.jpg

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 12 March 2012 13:01 (twelve years ago) link

It would have been funnier if it was Rick Ross.

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Monday, 12 March 2012 13:18 (twelve years ago) link

I seem to remember reading that all blockbuster films – at least from the last 20 years – have at least recouped their costs over time.

Chewshabadoo, Monday, 12 March 2012 13:27 (twelve years ago) link

what, even Cutthroat Island?

Number None, Monday, 12 March 2012 13:29 (twelve years ago) link

-xpost -

However, just looking it up now that seems to be balls. Mars Needs Moms (which I'd not even heard of) seems likely to struggle.

Chewshabadoo, Monday, 12 March 2012 13:34 (twelve years ago) link

I still have never seen Cutthroat Island, and I probably should because I have an irrational love for The Long Kiss Goodnight. xp

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Monday, 12 March 2012 13:35 (twelve years ago) link

i thought it was more draggy than breezy, but yeah it was alright. i thought it got pretty deadly any time it asked you to care about the fate of barsoom or whatever, which is most of the 2nd half. movie would've been better with young kurt russell in the lead (or present day 60 y/o kurt russell), kitsch is OK but kinda bland

these pretzels are makeing me horney (Hungry4Ass), Monday, 12 March 2012 13:43 (twelve years ago) link

I am going to see John Carter tonight.

Sick Mouthy (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 12 March 2012 13:46 (twelve years ago) link

Man, Kurt Russell would have killed in this. And whenever it got a little slow I just enjoyed the backgrounds; the money spent shows onscreen.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 12 March 2012 13:50 (twelve years ago) link

That Times story says it needs to make $600 mil to make its money back. $100 mil down (total), $500 mil to go!

Josh in Chicago, Monday, 12 March 2012 13:56 (twelve years ago) link

Should be a jolly disparity as I read this over the week and then see it this weekend.

OWLS 3D (R Baez), Monday, 12 March 2012 17:26 (twelve years ago) link

Oh, and nsfw, obv.

OWLS 3D (R Baez), Monday, 12 March 2012 17:40 (twelve years ago) link

Ned OTM about the Frazetta moments. The art direction was in many ways the most worthwhile element. Loving and lovely.

Riggins' performance could best be described, I think, as "mostly shirtless."

all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Monday, 12 March 2012 17:53 (twelve years ago) link

Oh like THAT'S going to keep VegemiteGrrl from seeing this.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 12 March 2012 17:56 (twelve years ago) link

:D

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 12 March 2012 17:58 (twelve years ago) link

I find my self suddenly ALL ABOUT THIS MOVIE

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 12 March 2012 17:58 (twelve years ago) link

It shouldn't! Perfectly legit reason to go IMO and very much in line with the Frazetta/Vallejo tradition.

Just, Kurt Russell nothin', Josh Holloway would have killed this if he'd had a prayer of pulling off the wardrobe.

all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Monday, 12 March 2012 18:01 (twelve years ago) link

I would have been like one of those Twilight people camping out in line for this movie if Josh Holloway had been the lead.

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Monday, 12 March 2012 18:13 (twelve years ago) link

I am making a lot of embarrassing confession this week, sorry.

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Monday, 12 March 2012 18:13 (twelve years ago) link

right there with you, sister

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 12 March 2012 18:15 (twelve years ago) link

I thought this was great.

Sick Mouthy (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 12 March 2012 23:05 (twelve years ago) link

Me too. Pleasingly bonkers, straight-up pulpy comic book action, way better than any x-men or green lantern hornets or avatars.

Just listened to the Mark Kermode rant, fuck. I used to have a lot of time for the guy but that was excruciating. Ok so he found it boring, boredom is in the eye of the beholder I guess, it kept my attention for the full length. But incomprehensible? Christ, it wasn't rocket science. There were the green guys and the blue guys and the red guys, and the green guys were particularly easy to spot since they were actually green - oh and they had four arms and were 9 feet tall. The plot took a few diversions, but only into well familiar scenarios. And there were a few funny words, what a shame. Ok I had a few "did they just call him sadgrab or sarbag or sagbar?" moments but given there were barely half a dozen main players it was still hardly taxing.

ledge, Monday, 12 March 2012 23:59 (twelve years ago) link

I was convinced I was going to find it boring, partic as it's fairly long, but it was nicely paced, I thought. How tf is it 'incomprehensible'? I did get a little confused about who was on the red team and the blue team to start off with but ???

kinder, Tuesday, 13 March 2012 00:08 (twelve years ago) link

well like 75% of the film is people saying fake words, gives a little bit of a Dune vibe in terms of people talking about goofy stuff solemnly, i can see why that seriousness would scan as incomprehensible to someone who wasnt getting into the movie

these pretzels are makeing me horney (Hungry4Ass), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 00:15 (twelve years ago) link

Alternatively, any movie would be incomprehensible if you didn't give a shit and stopped paying attention. IOW it's a lazy criticism and totally misplaced for a story as straightfoward and well-worn as this.

ledge, Tuesday, 13 March 2012 00:20 (twelve years ago) link

i am refusing to believe the plot of this can be difficult to follow or incomprehensible, tbh. did the vulture thing about the trailer show up on this thread yet

bosomy English rose (thomp), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 01:21 (twelve years ago) link

also, i've seen the thing about them taking 'of mars' out of the title because mars needs moms was such a failure about a dozen times, it has only just occurred to me to wonder, what the fuck is mars needs moms

bosomy English rose (thomp), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 01:21 (twelve years ago) link

massive disney mocap bomb, their second about mars in the last year funnily enough

these pretzels are makeing me horney (Hungry4Ass), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 01:24 (twelve years ago) link

h4a should i go see this tomorrow i trust yr judgement

Lamp, Tuesday, 13 March 2012 01:28 (twelve years ago) link

christ, that rich ross pic is terrifying

Fozzy Osbourne (contenderizer), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 01:31 (twelve years ago) link

a movie about how kids need to learn to appreciate their parents. well that's got summer blockbuster written all over it

bosomy English rose (thomp), Tuesday, 13 March 2012 01:32 (twelve years ago) link


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