Marilyn Haggerty's amazing Olive Garden review and the subsequent viral shitstorm

Maybe she can get a reality show with that homeless radio announcer guy.

and that yo yo guy

and that cigar box guy

and winnebago man

Grand Forks is a college town. Big ass hockey arena and some awesome mid-century neon signage there.

I feel like there is a good forksclovestofu pun to be made in here somewhere but it's not coming

You can see all of it encapsulated thanks to Kevin Hoffman at the Minneapolis City Pages whose interview with a nonplussed Haggerty oozes with smarmy condescension.

just no

I'm amused by the article, not because I'm someone who enjoys pointing the finger of mockery at people from anywhere that's not Manhattan, but because I used to edit two weekly local papers in suburban NJ (yes, simultaneously) and we ran shit like this all the time. "Local event of no interest to anyone not from this town" was front page news every single week. We ran pictures of people's Christmas light displays. Articles about the installation of a new streetlight - not a streetlight at an intersection that had previously not had one, but the replacement of an older model streetlight with a newer model. And yeah, food reviews were of new chain restaurants. So for me it was a (semi-)fond memory of a past job.

I think the onion-esque picture of her is prob what made this big as much as the actual content

haha, you are describing my job exactly. If you were in Union or Essex county it might have even been the same chain of weeklies. xpost

...with all the ernest enthusiasm and wide-eyed amazement of a kid in a corporate candystore.

also, i see a fair amount of poker-faced "well, it's a job" -style uncynical awareness in her review

In fact there was an old lady there who I remember wrote a glowing review of the very ordinary chinese carryout place across the street from the office. But the thing is I had to write complete bullshit all the time, b/c there just wasn't enough going on in the tiny town I covered to fill a paper. I wrote story after story on exactly how many downtown businesses were vacant, whether a sign ordinance would help, the (non) progress of the development and construction of a relatively small mixed use property, a "controversy" over a "historic" flagpole that the town wanted to remove, etc.

My big scoop was that a local beauty salon owner might have *embezzled* a few thousand dollars from a charity haircutting event that she held.

I just wanted to call to tell you how much I enjoyed your Olive Garden review.

Oh, I'm sure you did.

― mizzell, Friday, March 9, 2012 3:44 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

she pretty much pwns him out of the gate with this

haha, you are describing my job exactly. If you were in Union or Essex county it might have even been the same chain of weeklies. xpost

I live in Union County, so yeah, I bet you work for W0rr@ll. I quit one week after I stumbled across the ad section of one of my papers and saw a quarter-page ad from some church, asking its parishioners to come in that Sunday and "pray for an end to the plague of homosexuality."

I think it's totally weird this blew up, but OTOH I grew up reading and eventually working at rural papers, too.

Also a new Olive Garden is huge in a town that hasn't had one in the area. One opened up in Las Cruces right before I moved and there were lines out the door for weeks. No joke. My parents were very proud our hometown finally got an Olive Garden; they made a point of driving near it to point it out (they did the same with the new Carl's Jr., we ate at neither bcz both too expensive for my family).

haha, you are describing my job exactly. If you were in Union or Essex county it might have even been the same chain of weeklies. xpost

I live in Union County, so yeah, I bet you work for W0rr@ll. I quit one week after I stumbled across the ad section of one of my papers and saw a quarter-page ad from some church, asking its parishioners to come in that Sunday and "pray for an end to the plague of homosexuality."

― 誤訳侮辱, Friday, March 9, 2012 5:41 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

That is exactly who I worked for, but it was a number of years ago.

At the county weekly I worked for, the first article I wrote was about how someone had driven on the post office lawn. Between that and the photo, it took up half a tabloid-size page. The paper owner had dibs on writing restaurant reviews because those were easy/fun writing compared to reports of a cow blocking traffic or the Rotary Club meeting or the stuff I usually wrote about.

Ah, OK - I misread your post and assumed you were current.

I think the weirdest stories we ran were local coverage (in rural Idaho) of Sept. 11 news like "friend of cousin thought about going to NYC last week; did not die in plane."

haha, the old "local angle on a national story" bit -- the editors were always pushing that

"kids shove plastic Solo cups in school chainlink fence to spell out NEVER FORGET"

There was a little french casual cafe in the town I covered, like an order-at-the-counter place with crepes and quiche and stuff like that, and I was there right when the Iraq war was ramping up, and there started to be a minor phenomenon of assholes driving buy and yelling shit out the window at the place -- "Go back to France" etc. Ironically the owner was a woman from Vietnam who was married to a Vietnam vet. She wouldn't let me write about it though, I guess out of discomfort or slight fear. The one that got away.

kevin hoffman isn't from minnesota btw:

Kevin Hoffman will be the new editor-in-chief of Minneapolis/St. Paul City Pages, Village Voice Media announced today.

Hoffman, presently the managing editor of VVM's Cleveland Scene, will take over from departing City Pages editor Steve Perry early next month. Perry announced yesterday that he is leaving the paper to pursue other opportunities.

A 1998 graduate of Washington College in Chestertown, Maryland, Hoffman worked for the Associated Press and the daily Wilkes-Barre Times Leader before receiving his master's degree from the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism in May 2001. He briefly worked at the weekly Cleveland Free Times before being hired as a staff writer at Scene in January 2002. He was promoted to the managing editor position at Scene three years later.

During Hoffman's tenure at Scene, the paper took first-place in general excellence in the Missouri Lifestyle Journalism Awards and was named the best weekly in Ohio in numerous state contests. Hoffman himself has won numerous awards for his writing, and his story "Soul of the Brute" was included in Penguin Books' Notes from the Underground; The Most Outrageous Stories from the Alternative Press, published in 2005.

Hoffman, 30, will be in Minneapolis next week to meet City Pages staff. He is married to Erin Hoffman, an attorney specializing in constitutional law.

Kevin Hoffman: yet another thing about Village Voice Media that sucks.

oh my god he sounds like the worst

bleatreader 8 hours ago

Is the city pages that is making fun of this person the same city pages that published a review of a new My Burger, a fast food burger joint, when it opened in calhoun-isles a couple of months ago?

Flag Like ReplyReply Joel 7 hours ago in reply to bleatreader

You mean the review with the stunning insight of: "The chicken sandwich was very well-seasoned; not overloaded with mayo like most chicken sandwiches you find. Even the French fries tasted fresh. Our only complaint was with the onion rings, which didn't really taste very oniony."

oh at first I thought he wrote that review. that would have been much better.

he's now trying to say they were "celebrating her wit" on twitter and not making fun of her

http://bluntcard.com/images/1243460812og.gif

When your badges are "Cleveland Scene" and "Missouri Lifestyle," there isn't much ground to stand on with the OG lady.

Photos I shot in Grand Forks last August:

http://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/198765_10150254678891596_681036595_8157387_113781_n.jpg

http://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/285496_10150254660526596_681036595_8157258_206086_n.jpg

http://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/184022_10150254654821596_681036595_8157181_2440973_n.jpg

the great thign about the original article is how coolly matter-of-fact it is.

something about it was kind of hypnotic.

like you are literally being hypnotized by her

"You watch the waiters in white shirts, ties, black trousers and aprons adorned with gold-colored towels. They are busy at midday, punching in orders and carrying out bread and pasta...."

*goes into trance*

i like her writing!

damn el roco and the bronze boot look way fucking cooler than most bars here in mpls

the great thign about the original article is how coolly matter-of-fact it is.

― A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Friday, March 9, 2012 11:25 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

for real, i kept thinking "this isn't lolzy, this is some hemingway shit"

fuck the condescension, matter of fact small town old lady wins

They are busy at midday

^^this is the part of the line that really sells it for some reason, i can't quite put it in words

wkiw marilyn

sure but i still wish this was Neil Michael Haggerty's amazing Olive Garden review and the subsequent viral shitstorm

Antony Hegarty's Olive Garden Review
Julie Hagerty's etc.

it felt more proust than hemingway to me

i like her writing!

― art dealin' thru the west coast (tpp), Friday, March 9, 2012 3:29 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the great thign about the original article is how coolly matter-of-fact it is.

― A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Friday, March 9, 2012 3:25 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

for real, i kept thinking "this isn't lolzy, this is some hemingway shit"

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, March 9, 2012 3:41 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this this this all this. she's a better writer than he is!

the great thign about the original article is how coolly matter-of-fact it is.

yeah, i'm missing the part where she's oohing and aahing about how great the olive garden is; she just basically says "yup, there's a new olive garden, the waiters wear uniforms, soup warms you up when it's cold."

"and yes - several black olives"

The chicken Alfredo ($10.95) was warm and comforting on a cold day. The portion was generous. My server was ready with Parmesan cheese.

As I ate, I noticed the vases and planters with permanent flower displays on the ledges. There are several dining areas with arched doorways.

she writes in a really self-aware and intentional version of that semi-autistic yelper's style we all made fun of on the yelp thread

Like Robbe-Grillet, but with more of an emotional payoff.

Here's the thing about that: When you write steadily for 40-plus years, you get good at it.

from this review it sounds like grand forks doesn't have any other nepali / north indian / pakistani restaurants? that can't be the case surely.

there's a very midwest thing going on in the review of not acknowledging someone's national background / ethnicity (because it's rude to do so?) but also communicating strong "they aren't like us" vibes that is way too on-the-nose and very off-putting of course.

if this restaurant and review were in colorado we'd have three paragraphs about the magic of nepal and sanctification of the immigrant family with an orientalist flavor.

I found this: https://www.houseofpunjabgf.com/

their website is intimidating

so after visiting 20 times you get 20% off all future purchases? that's a lot of investment i gotta say! i dunno if i could name five restaurants i've been to 20 times in my life.

North Dakota is a shining beacon to everyone yearning to be free

(Will there ever be a Dakota Reunification?) #ONEDAKOTA

why is there no east dakota

A pizza spot named Crust, ironically located in the Earth's core

Open a pizza shop in Antarctica and name it South Pole Pizza

why is there no east dakota

Heh heh heh

https://i.imgur.com/4WOKeHL.jpg

There's no way I come close to believing that, but heh heh heh nonetheless.

The definitive Dakotie film

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEC9ZcV-ehk

She returned to OG a decade later:

There are appetizers including meatballs parmigiana and spinach artichoke dip. Homemade soups and salads include minestrone and a creamy chicken and gnocchi with roasted chicken.

The choices are many in the restaurant with its large parking lot and large seating area in the south end of business in Grand Forks.

With friends and family, we found the familiar menu on a recent winter day. Five of us were seated in one of the large and homey dining areas. Service was good. Friendly.

We tried the fettucine alfredo, which is a favorite. The menu says it is made in house every day. The classic entrees include chicken or eggplant parmigiana, lasagna, spaghetti and meatballs, shrimp and chicken scampi. There are stuffed pastas including a new ravioli carbonara. And there is a choice described on the menu to create your own pasta. This gives a choice of pasta, a choice of sauce and a topping, if desired.

We found the Olive Garden a pleasant setting to visit with friends — Joel and Amy Medd along with son Bob Hagerty and granddaughter Carmen Hagerty visiting from Pittsburgh. The staff is very friendly at the Olive Garden. And on visits there I am reminded of days in March of 2012. That was the time that an Eatbeat column in the Grand Forks Herald caught the attention of national reporters. Some at first scowled at the attention given a chain restaurant. Then their fury turned to support. And there were calls from Fargo, New York, California, Florida. This writer was invited to widely discuss on national television the Olive Garden arrival in Grand Forks.

Joel and Amy Medd along with son Bob Hagerty and granddaughter Carmen Hagerty visiting from Pittsburgh.

This speaks worlds about where Haggerty comes from. It has a different mindset.

there were calls from Fargo, New York, California, Florida

The ordering here is chef's kiss

some at first

I legit hope Carmen enjoyed her dinner.

(BTW our local Olive Garden, like our local Red Robin, has little electronic tablets at each table - once you have placed your drink order you can play trivia quizzes or Angry Birds-style games. Then you can pay and tip through it. Judge me as much as you like, but sometimes it's a godsend for a hyperactive toddler who cannot otherwise make it through an entire meal in a sit-down restaurant.)

If I went out to dinner with this lady, I would insist that my name not be dropped in the review, or maybe put “Anonymous Diner” in place of my real name.

“You’re wonderful company, but I’d rather be eaten alive by rats than be associated with any of your reviews.”

I on the other hand would pay her to insert my name into her copy, then expect her to pick up the tab for my marinana-smothered pillow cushion.

😂

Marilyn Hagerty, turning swords into plowshares and fury into support.

I spent $93 on dinner for 2 people at Applebee's and was impressed by the large portions and tasty entrées https://t.co/mLLJMFAtW1

— Insider Food (@insiderfood) October 21, 2023

It took me a an embarrassingly long time to realise Marilyn Haggerty was not Merle Haggard. For a moment I thought I’d found the greatest thread of all time

Some people go to Florida. Some prefer Arizona. Maybe Texas.

Then there are those who prefer a motorcycle or sled ride over to the Snow Sled Inn near Crookston.

They go there by sled when the snow piles up. Many get there by motorcycle the rest of the year. They talk, they eat, and they just hang out.

Everybody seems to know everyone else. At least that’s how it was on a recent stop there with my niece, Joanne Jensen of Sacramento, Calif. She was hanging around on one of her occasional visits to the “hinterlands.”

Like Richard Ford narrated by Sam Elliot.

lol