dirt bag style

the only cockroach i saw in my old apartment was nice enough to waddle to the middle of my foyer and die there overnight--thanks buddy, there was no suspense with you.

the mere thought of ironing cockroach stench into my clothing

ugh

I have seen a total of about two insects inside my home, and one was a friendly spider.

Apparently there was one mouse but I never knew it until the cat found it for me

you guys should see my place these days it looks like a model home

of course much of that is due to me figuring out that one way to cope w/ the teeth-grinding anxiety of my possibly-ex-GF suddenly moving out is to windex and wipe all of the surfaces in the house, over and over again

it seems really counter-intuitive but daily cleaning is a lot more fun than cleaning once a month then letting everything go to hell

sorry to hear abt your girl probs, TLG

that is an all time dirtbag post gr80 ty

xp not the one about cleaning obv

torch it all, start from scratch, promise to start up a cleaning routine in the new world

tlg, I feel for your anxiety and teeth. Try not to chip them. I've done that before..

wait i was supposed to clean like all day today

the mere thought of ironing cockroach stench into my clothing

approximately the most horrendous thing that has ever happened in the history of clothes. plus it is generally possible to turn the steam off?

it all happened so fast

i was lost in a fog

the fog of, er, cockroaches

you emptied the tank out first, right

i can't decide if it's true horror or not largely due to that

i have substituted an easter egg for at least one meal each of the last five days and i am starting to feel really sick as a result. oops

i did that last yr

having reread the thread that's not all that dirtbag

the place i live in we had to wait extra days for the landlord to get cleaners in because of the state the previous inhabitants had left it in. notably they decided cleaning the bathtub was enough of a non starter that instead they put in a new one. mainly things were fixed by the time we got here however several weeks later i had cause to move the bed away from the wall to look for something, and discovered not just a patch of used condom wrappers but also used condoms, also a used tampon buried in several layers of toilet roll

Wait, so was it a furnished place that came with the bed? Otherwise, how did you not see that stuff when moving in the bed?

yes, it was a furnished place that came with the bed

this is surely not a thread in which we own furniture

true dirtbag style is sleeping on a borrowed futon mattress, no frame, on the floor

I slept on a mattress on the floor for over a year

the cheap metal bed frames are pretty easy to come by, but they take box springs... and who the fuck wants to lug around or even own those?

the first one was just a cheap foam mattress that folded 3 ways. one day I was cleaning, picked up the edge, and realized that the entire underside was sopping wet. I had had a fever w/ nightsweats a few days ago and apparently the water never evaporated from the mattress.

I sleep on a matress on the floor no frame, but, uh, it's on a boxspring or w/e

My car has broken glass in the passenger-side foot place. I guess my wife brought a mason jar of iced tea into the car and then left it to get sucked up by all the rest of the junk there. Then I set something down on it and now it's a pile of junk full of broken glass.

I've heard of roaches being INSIDE THE MICROWAVE DISPLAY WINDOW...

Similar thing happened in this really cool but really gone-to-shit former hotel/apartment I lived in for a bit. In bed watching the Fox late night lineup on the tube and see movement to my left. Take a glance at my radio alarm clock and crawling on the inside of the display window was this two-inch long, hundred-legged prehistoric looking motherfucker of an insect. Really gave me the heebie jeebies. That place had a huge bug problem. I can't see how I tolerated it, looking back. Kept one of those pistols that shoots suction cupped missiles by the bed for shooting roaches on the wall across the room.

this is surely not a thread in which we own furniture

― desperado, rough rider (thomp), Thursday, March 8, 2012 7:39 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Most apts I encountered in England came furnished which would explain Thomp's flat with bed. That is not the case in the US. Nearly all apartments here are unfurnished.

I would love a bed that wasn't on the floor.

xp: You have to use the same furniture as the last tenant?

yes

Both flats we lived in were furnished and that seemed to be the norm when we were looking. It is just basic stuff. Each place we rented came with a bed, couches, end tables, and a small table and chairs set. I don't know if that's what it's like throughout England but it seemed true of London at least.

london, you are dirtbag like a motherfucker.

in my first apt i had a filthy futon mattress on the floor. the place being a dank shithole the thing rotted from the bottom. so in my 2nd apt for like 5 months i slept on a blanket on the hardwood floor. then i found a mattress on the street and brought it home.

this prob doesn't count but:

went to sleep with a breathe-right strip on my nose, woke up with it stuck to my palm

ha no that doesn't count

what would count:

went to sleep with a breathe-right strip on my nose last month, woke up with it stuck to my palm today

haha yeah

getting out of bed with change stuck to your butt or back is a classic.

i took a shower at a friend's house once and there were all these rusty/green pennies in the bathtub-- i asked him what that was all about and he said they stick to him when he falls asleep on his sofa and he doesn't realize it till they fall off in the shower and then he just leaves them there.

dude is a dirt bag hero.

extra gross bc pennies indicate infrequency of cleaning shower

bingo.

i have no idea why unfurnished rental places would be the norm, that would be insane. i am assuming there is a decent sector of this stuff in places with migrant worker or student populations?

aaaaanyway since this thread was last revived a mouse has moved into the coil behind our fridge.

unfurnished rentals are the norm in most cities in the US, but not in Honolulu

xp: in america, poor students largely just buy shitty furniture or scavenge it from alleys.

what happens to all that furniture when the tenant moves out? damn

All of which furniture?

I had no idea that furnished apartments were available besides at residence hotel type places, much less a common thing somewhere! The few times I see an ad for a furnished apartment I feel very suspicious, like is the furniture haunted? Embedded with spy cams?

i have a story about a milkshake machine and roaches but i think it is more suited to the food service horror stories thread than this one

i will say that it climaxes in a volcanic eruption of cockroach chunks

what do landlords do when someone moves out and leaves furniture behind? xxp

I kind of dig getting rice grains stuck in my sinuses, it feels good to snort them out and eat them