'John Carter,' aka the Edgar Rice Burroughs 'A Princess of Mars' adaptation

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Caption is great.

Eric H., Wednesday, 7 March 2012 13:12 (twelve years ago) link

Also, comparing any sci-fi fish-out-of-water/outsider-goes-native story to Avatar in 2012 = hack hackity hack hack hack. Couldn't he at least have gone with "Dances With Martians" or something?

the Hilary Clinton of Ghostface Killahs (Phil D.), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 13:13 (twelve years ago) link

i didnt think it was a fat joke!

these pretzels are makeing me horney (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 13:15 (twelve years ago) link

More of a homely overactor joke.

Eric H., Wednesday, 7 March 2012 13:16 (twelve years ago) link

https://twitter.com/#!/j_christley/status/177364394144038912

Eric H., Wednesday, 7 March 2012 13:22 (twelve years ago) link

not authorised to see this status

Number None, Wednesday, 7 March 2012 13:23 (twelve years ago) link

Oh, I guess he protects his tweets, but it was kind of a wan joke on Bryan Cranston's cameo.

Eric H., Wednesday, 7 March 2012 13:27 (twelve years ago) link

sounds like a pip

these pretzels are makeing me horney (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 13:42 (twelve years ago) link

unprotect wan jokes NOW

A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 13:45 (twelve years ago) link

Still amazed that every trailer I have seen about this has failed to imply the movie is about anything

There are some aliens he bonds with in some way and he's John Carter... of Earth... and there are big battles and a dog thing. That's all I've got so far!

I feel like the trailer needs to either tease the conflict in the plot and make me want to see how it plays out, or at least introduce me to the main character and then throw him on Mars.

valleys of your mind (mh), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 14:40 (twelve years ago) link

BAR....SOOM

kinder, Wednesday, 7 March 2012 18:28 (twelve years ago) link

i think this is the first time i've seen people agree so comprehensively a trailer just doesn't give away enough of the plot

desperado, rough rider (thomp), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 19:31 (twelve years ago) link

doesn't indicate the movie has one, tbh

valleys of your mind (mh), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 19:50 (twelve years ago) link

really enjoyed it, up until about 2/3 way through where it starts to drag a little/feel overly familiar

The case with every decent genre movie I've seen in the last umpteen years. The front half is ALWAYS twice as good as the back half. Screenwriterly ppl need to forget everything they think is necessary about 'third acts' IMO.

Axolotl with an Atlatl (Jon Lewis), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 19:59 (twelve years ago) link

That said, still super psyched to see this.

Axolotl with an Atlatl (Jon Lewis), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 19:59 (twelve years ago) link

i think a lot of that is that its just plain easier to introduce a good concept than it is to follow through on it

these pretzels are makeing me horney (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 20:05 (twelve years ago) link

tim riggins is in this movie

lol shirtless tim riggins is like... i am clicking on a thread about this movie

peebutt fartbottom (Lamp), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 20:09 (twelve years ago) link

exactly

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 21:53 (twelve years ago) link

who tf is tim riggins? sounds like a ship's boy in a dickens novel.

meticulously showcased in a stunning fart presentation (contenderizer), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 22:05 (twelve years ago) link

Friday Night Lights

u better recognize

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 22:06 (twelve years ago) link

doesn't indicate the movie has one, tbh

there's a guy called john carter, he is on mars, there are fights, what else do you need to know

i don't know. i mean, partly there's the problem that the novel opens basically "so one day after we'd lost the civil war to those damn northerners i had a nap and then i was on mars", i think the first part of that is a tough sell for a trailer

desperado, rough rider (thomp), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 22:20 (twelve years ago) link

the trailers do nothing to convey that hes on mars

these pretzels are makeing me horney (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 22:21 (twelve years ago) link

Not really! I think they could conveniently not mention his allegiance in the Civil War in the trailer, but there's no indication in the press materials that this is a "guy from 1800s gets transported to Mars" flick.

valleys of your mind (mh), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 22:23 (twelve years ago) link

they do nothing to convey:
- the year
- the setting
- that he had a life before being shirtless in what appears to be New Mexico with a bunch of green people

valleys of your mind (mh), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 22:23 (twelve years ago) link

i don't know, maybe it's hard to get past the fact that i already know the plot of the novel, but the superbowl trailer seems to clearly express: this guy is from earth. he winds up on an alien planet via mysterious means. he ends up in some military-hero role for alien dudes.

my main problem with it is that every line spoken suggests people talk like absolute goobers throughout the movie, tbh? but i'm not sure what else you'd go for with the source material, playing it straight sort of requires that you end up with something incredibly easy to make fun of in that line

re: time: the long-form trailer has a bunch of shots in, well, it looks more like victorian england? but that's another problem, and has people going 'whatever happened to john carter we really don't know', then cut to shirtless new mexico

desperado, rough rider (thomp), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 22:31 (twelve years ago) link

there's no indication that theres any kind of story at all. you can get away with a suggestive teaser trailer that doesn't tell you anything, if it's intriguing or eyecatching in some way, but eventually you do need a trailer that at least gives you a basic 'what is this about' kind of gist. disney obviously has zero confidence in the movie and thinks they have to ambush people with the mars element and the period element, but all that leaves you with is shirtless white guy jumping high (i dont know anything about friday night lights but this taylor kitsch guy looks like a black hole of charisma)

these pretzels are makeing me horney (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 22:32 (twelve years ago) link

watch what u say abt Tim Riggins

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 22:34 (twelve years ago) link

FUCK TIM RIGGINS!!!!

these pretzels are makeing me horney (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 22:35 (twelve years ago) link

i think "transported to mars" is a tough sell too, because lol mars he's clearly running around with no shirt on and yelling and doing fine -- the long-running 'let us totally ignore everything we actually know about mars!' SF conceit having not been established in film afaik

and yeah the dramatic 'he jumps really high! like really really high!' is pretty woeful

idk i don't really think this qualifies as 'a good trailer' but having heard eight million times the complaint that blockbuster trailers always just give you the whole plot i think it's odd that this becomes the site of complaint for this

(in the academy this is going to be the most pointlessly overdiscussed mediocre film since basic instinct 2)

desperado, rough rider (thomp), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 22:35 (twelve years ago) link

i... im sorry...

these pretzels are makeing me horney (Hungry4Ass), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 22:35 (twelve years ago) link

wait, dominic west is in this?

desperado, rough rider (thomp), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 22:39 (twelve years ago) link

We're all in this.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 7 March 2012 22:40 (twelve years ago) link

I'm Woola.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 7 March 2012 22:40 (twelve years ago) link

;_;

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 7 March 2012 22:42 (twelve years ago) link

basic instinct 2 had some merit

valleys of your mind (mh), Thursday, 8 March 2012 01:03 (twelve years ago) link

Lotta dead John Carters huh.

ledge, Friday, 9 March 2012 00:07 (twelve years ago) link

John Carter of Iowa
John Carter of North Dakota

owenf, Friday, 9 March 2012 00:26 (twelve years ago) link

tim riggins is a charisma supernova fyi

horseshoe, Friday, 9 March 2012 00:27 (twelve years ago) link

otm

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 9 March 2012 00:32 (twelve years ago) link

calling actors by their TV names is annoying, esp when he's got a great name like Kitsch

Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Friday, 9 March 2012 01:06 (twelve years ago) link

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Tim Riggins will be the highpoint of his career

Number None, Friday, 9 March 2012 01:07 (twelve years ago) link

Okay thank you for clearing that up, I was wondering who this Tim Riggins guy was when everyone seemed to be talking about Kitsch...

Ned Raggett, Friday, 9 March 2012 01:09 (twelve years ago) link

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Tim Riggins will be the highpoint of his career

idk he wore a swimsuit p well in 'the covenant' but probably

Lamp, Friday, 9 March 2012 01:33 (twelve years ago) link

it's less depressing to call him Tim Riggins, that way I can pretend Battleship and X Men never happened

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 9 March 2012 02:34 (twelve years ago) link

Anyway, looks like I will be seeing this thing tomorrow with some friends who are Edgar Rice Burroughs fiends and have been hoping like hell it succeeds. So...we'll see.

Ned Raggett, Friday, 9 March 2012 02:42 (twelve years ago) link

Keen to find out your thoughts, Ned. fyi you're gonna be my weathervane on this thing

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 9 March 2012 02:48 (twelve years ago) link

"It was all about Woola's buttface! Oh yeah some dude in a loincloth."

Ned Raggett, Friday, 9 March 2012 02:49 (twelve years ago) link

and then there was this crazy pod race in the middle...

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 9 March 2012 02:52 (twelve years ago) link

"Use your light saber John...oh my!"

Ned Raggett, Friday, 9 March 2012 02:56 (twelve years ago) link


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