your terrible ideas

hair salon called FUCK YOU, IT'S HAIR!

a reality show in which participants have to compete in losing weight, singing, cooking gourmet meals, dancing with celebrities, and designing fashionable outfits; meanwhile, their homes are being redecorated

it's called 'BRAVO'

An all-female Iron Maiden tribute act called Irony Maiden. Who all wear Margaret Thatcher masks.

that is a great idea

Thanks!
Therefore posting it on the 'terrible ideas' thread was a terrible idea...

you can't really go wrong on this thread

An 80's era Genesis tribute band from Holland called Invisible Dutch.

This Easter, let's all revert to Twitter Egg avatars and DM each other.

A sitcom about an Alan B'stard type character who works for a company based in 30 St Mary Axe, called 'Jerk In The Gherkin'.

"Poultry in Motion" - a conveyor belt type restaurant that serves all manner of cooked birds

get some rich person to pay me to spend 2 years completely alone, freaking out and making art

that's a good idea!

Commercialise the poopsock. The adverts could use a version of The B-52s' 'Love Shack' with new lyrics:

Poopsock
baby, poopsock

folks lining up outside just to poop down

poopin' in-a-sock
POOPING in a SOCK!

I have been singing this to myself all day, so I'm sure that it's a good idea.

While standing on a street corner in the commercial district.

I had an idea this morning for a 'raunchy stand-up comic for babies'

It's basically a guy who speaks with an Andrew Dice Clay cadence, and uses variations the catch phrase "cock-a-doodly-freakin-doo"

Like "So I had this rooster. Then I ate it. Cock-a-doodly-doo!"
"Then I had this pig. Now it's lunchmeat! Cock-a-doodly-doodly-freakin-doo!"

A cover of 'Bite It, You Scum' with the vocals processed through a Dalek voice effect.

vj ted talks for posi ppl

TED talks, full stop.

'Last Tango In Paris' - a short film following a desperate American tourist who is trying to find the last available can of fizzy orange soda in the city.

Do you mean "Last Faygo in Paris"?

That's the US title.

A Rifftr4x type product for pr0n movies.

Suture Self, a store which sells "repair kits" for the human body, allowing people to circumvent stupid doctors and hospitals.

Wake N Parm - a chain restaurant that sells Chicken/Eggplant/Meatball/Veal Parmigiana sandwiches only for breakfast

a strong packaging adhesive which dries to a hardened state, but when subjected to sustained sonic vibrations will undergo a phase change back into a pliable gel state.

this will result in interactive consumer product experiences like a pack of gum which cannot be opened unless you hold it up to your face and yell at it for like three or four minutes. target demo is mostly kids and anyone who doesn't hate fun.

This is secretly a good idea, but I'm writing it here so I have it on record:

A mafia-style sandwich shop called Baguette About It

Also an ambient act specialising in covers of the Northern Songs back catalogue called The Beatless.

Family Band: a photography business that specializes in family portraits posed in the style of band photos. Like mother, father and children staggered in the foreground and background, looking in different directions, in an abandoned warehouse.

You could even do portraits in the style of famous band photos/album covers, e.g. family zipping up flies after pissing on a giant concrete thingy.

^ such a not terrible idea. everybody should be quiet riot, the runaways or van halen though.

Actually, yeah... I kind of like that idea.

hmm...

a compilation of laid-back songs from the southern islands of Greece. I would call it DIS CRETE MUSIC.

a sexy R&B-tinged slow jam band called NSFW

A Junkyard Wars/Scrapheap Challenge type TV show where the teams have to make computers out of garbage, called 'Byte My Junk'.

— We should record an a capella version of The KLF Chill out

— Please stop talking

A "lighting round" version of Is This Racist?

did i mention this already? my terrible idea is to sell running shoes that don't look like they were designed by an 8-year old. i.e., they don't have a bunch of intersecting neon green lines on both sides. afaik, no one has ever attempted to make a running shoe that isn't completely embarrassing

i will attempt to make a running shoe that does not look like this

http://sidomoro.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/running-shoes.jpg

although you know what might improve that shoe, right there? one more flashy stripe running down the side

actually there's a bunch of blank space near the tip of the shoe, i bet a few stripes could be placed there as well

just do it already

the problem is that i'm not sure how to assemble a shoe, let alone one that can properly cushion a runner's foot.

A Battlestar Galactica 1980 / Mission Impossible crossover.
"Your mission, Apollo, should you choose to accept it,
(...)
If you or any of your team are caught or killed, the white haired dude from Bonanza will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This highly sophisticated piece of alien technology disguised as a primitive 20th recording device will self destruct in 5 centons."

Since everyone watches pr0n on the internet these days instead of on videotape, an art installation made from stacks of VHS pr0n tapes. I would call it... Pr0nhenge.

a website that allows people to illustrate driving scenarios by inputting a few parameters. it would generate images like this one:

http://i46.tinypic.com/smzu6e.png

you could create stationary diagrams as well as animated gifs. the site would host the images so you could post them to hate sites like ilxor.com and complain about disgusting savages who shouldn't be allowed behind the wheel. the site itself would be a social network for neurotic drivers. I'd give it a vintage Web 2.0 name like MyCrashSpace.com.

how would the params work?

ok, so there's already draw.accidentsketch.com/, but it's not optimized for social networking. my site/app would have a like/dislike button (I'm thinking a system where you could vote for which driver was at fault), comment sections for each diagram, and fake petitions to get rid of annoying traffic lights. there'd be a Facebook tie-in and iPhone app and stuff.

how would the params work?

I'd probably just steal draw.accidentsketch.com's system, where you can just drag graphic building blocks into the picture (or into each frame, if it's an animated gif).