2012 Wrestling Thread: Jericho returns tonight, Dragon is champion, RAW and TNA still unwatchable...

So we have had 3 champion v. champion matches in a week. it should have been the most awesome event ever and yet it was all just about michael cole blowing johnny ace and also meant that big zeke got squashed or something. WWE fucking blows, which it shouldn't - Punk v. Dragon gets over an hour on tv ffs!

Also the Rock talked about trending, sounded as fucking annoying as Michael Cole talking about trending. Or anyone who does it.

I guess Shaq was forgotten. Wonder if he was paid up-front.

Dragon v. Sheamus also seems to have been lost.

Jericho v. Punk started out lame as balls about plagerism or something but suddenly got awesome. Just to have a match be about I COULD KICK YR ASS, NO GIMMICKS for once is so refreshing.

WM28 should be the best ever but at this rate it looks like balls. Still only 4 matches, only 1 i'm excited about. No spot for Ziggler yet, who is their best fucking worker. No spot for Santino, who is the most over guy there. Otunga is getting more time on TV than the fucking Rumble winner. No tag-team title fued, a pointless IC fued if Shaq comes in, no US title fued, no Womens title fued... but they are having Shawn Michaels back next week to sell two past-it dudes the fans WHAT.

Supposedly WWE are gonna chop their roster in half post-Mania, which is hilarious considering they couldn't get 20 legit guys for Rumble. You know what would be good though - actually trying dudes out and giving them something.

---

In other wrestling, ROH had Davey Richards v. Jay Lethal this week and it was FUCKING AWESOME. No-one in ROH bar Steen and the Briscoes knows how to cut a promo, so I don't actually care all that much but some of the matches are A+.

TNA still lame as shit but Russo has officially been fired, so baby steps.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQc9zxLqrhE

this.

I'm still really excited for Mania. They have to avoid going overboard with Rock and Cena because the match sells itself and the feud doesn't need 500 skits and arguments about Twitter. They almost killed the Rock vs Austin main event in 2001 in the same way. They were feuding over Austin's wife being forced to manage the Rock and other dumb stuff like that.

They completely blew the buildup to Punk vs Jericho (Jericho getting the title shot by winning a battle royal was fucking lame) but they've rescued it since then because both guys are awesome.

I just really don't care about Rock Cena. Putting ALL their eggs in one basket is a huge mistake. Do they still only have like 4 matches for a 4 hour show? I'm more excited about Moxley supposedly debuting after Mania. I think he's called Dean Ambrose now.

Also Kong losing her baby has put a huge dampener on things. RIP Kong baby.

If, and that is a huge IF, they could build Jericho back up, or have Bryan-Sheamus do anything (because lol who watches Smackdown) then maybe i'll get more excited.

I'm getting sky one soon - does it still show crappy wrestling highlights? hope so!!!

oh yes! WWE superstars, WWE experience.

FINALLY, KEN C IS BACK IN ILWWE

you ken see me

ok someone at raw holding up a sign saying A HOY HOY

:D

fucking hell Cena was in a car accident. week before Mania. think he is ok but daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn that could have been a crazier news story i clicked on. wrestling could have gone fucking BUST right there, so much reliant on Cena-Rock.

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7722435/on-john-cena-rock-conversation-heavy-road-wrestlemania-xxviii

otm

so is this going to be worth watching?

It could well be, for once. Rock/Cena is going to be a spectacle, no doubt about it. HHH/Taker in a hell in a cell will probably be exciting and brutal at least, if last year's match was anything to go by. And Punk/Jericho ought to be a real highlight if they get time. Unfortunately there's little doubt for my money that Sheamus is gonna squash Bryan flat and put him back down to the upper mid-card, because that's the way WWE has tended to roll with sneaky heel champs against big hulking babyfaces at Wrestlemania (Cena/JBL was pretty bad for this). But again, if that match gets a bit of time then both those guys could shine.

Biggest news (well, it's still all just rumours, I suppose) is that Brock Lesnar's signed a deal to rejoin the active roster and is going to bring the Pain to Miami and fuck up someone's night (John Cena?). Even if that doesn't happen I'll be happy to watch though. Wrestlemania's the one night a year where it all pretty much sells itself.

Yeah news of certain people arriving in Miami means that this could be crazy. Or you could remember it is April Fools.

Bryan-Sheamus has potential to be fun as hell, and Punk-Jericho should be shit-hot. Things could get brutal and bloody in the cell match, their last go-round and all. Oh and Rock-Cena is a thing if you want it to be.

Personal recommendation: 'See' it, don't buy it.

WRESTLEMANIA!

All right, this better be good.

Lilian Garcia... hmmm, they couldn't be bothered getting a celebrity singer? What is the point of WM without shit celebrity appearances? Anyway, this is so dull, America America America.

Nice to see that Bryan-Sheamus has made it from the dark match last year to the curtain jerker this year. Fucking title, worth less than the IC title.

In 7 years they would have worked their way through the card to headline WM35

Let's go Dragon.. But Royal Rumble winner opening show. Pish. Worthless achievement these days/.

"Opinions are like noses, everyone has one." King needs to retire.

I am not drunk enough for this.

SD Jones gotta be embraced right now.

Bob Backlund v. Diesel a fucking five star mat classic compared.

I got the American Dragon ROH DVD and it starts with an hour long 2 out of 3 falls classic w/ Paul London. Just sayin'

well after years not watching the value of the world heavyweight championship has certainly been proven to me.

"No-one... NO ONE SAW THAT COMING." Ok Michael Cole.

We are going to get 25 minutes of Orton-Kane and we got 18 seconds of the best guy there.

hahahahaha, fuck that! So glad I'm not paying for this shit. That was a world title match?! Poor Bryan

Teams should have names. Team Jonny v. Team Teddy is lame, they should be like the Dynamic Aces v. the Doom Alliance or something.

Say what you want about the WWE bookers, they know how to troll the smarks. I wonder if this has all been a long practical joke with the whole Bryan title run just an elaborate set-up for that punchline. Still, frees up an extra 20 minutes for Rock and Cena to flex at each other.

Oh shit NOW its Kane v. Orton. Its like they want to make me hate this ppv from the start.

good to hear that wwe themes are still in the age of nu-metal. shouldn't we be onto sick dubstep drops nowadays?

Say what you want about the WWE bookers, they know how to troll the smarks. I wonder if this has all been a long practical joke with the whole Bryan title run just an elaborate set-up for that punchline. Still, frees up an extra 20 minutes for Rock and Cena to flex at each other.

― Windsor Davies, Monday, 2 April 2012 00:16 (34 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Alternatively, you could just say they have no fucking idea what they are doing. Get the best mat wrestler since the child killer and have him fued with a broken Mark Henry, Big Show and then bury him. Make the Royal Rumble seem so worthy by making the opening match two years in a row, whereas Jericho will be up near the top of the card by winning a Raw 11 man Battle Royal.

Now hyping up Brodus Clay the monster and having him debut as the funkasaurus was great trolling. This was just shit.

good to hear that wwe themes are still in the age of nu-metal. shouldn't we be onto sick dubstep drops nowadays?

― Boo-Yaa Too Rough International Boo-Yaa Empire (Merdeyeux), Monday, 2 April 2012 00:19 (42 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

They played some Skrillex once for something, the internet reaction was hilar

Actually the opening match wasn't shit. I'm just annoyed that I'm gonna have to suffer these two big piles of shit when I could still be watching Sheamus-Bryan.

Bets on who goes through the Spanish announce table?

twitter down the middle between 'lol people who pay for 18 second matches' and 'i paid 65$ for this shit?'

it's good to ease myself back in with this match that could've taken place with zero differences ten years ago. none of this silly new stuff that bryan's bringing in.

Maaaan, so it's gonna be an hour each for the HIAC and the m/e then. I could do without that.

the tweet to put it all in horrifying perspective:

Tony Schiavone ‏ @TonySchiavone_

Wow, #JeffHardy lasted longer than #DanielBryan when he lost the title. #Wrestlemania #IWantWrestling #WWE

ok this is just embarrassing.

and another advert.

hope big show wears a special wm knit hat for all to enjoy.

oh and on the 'titles mean jack shit' front - three of them - half of the wwe titles - aren't being defended tonight.

Enjoying Michael Cole's attempts to sell Big Show as a legit superstar with all those titles seconds after a video package that was specially put together to show what a joke he's been for more than a decade.

my stream died and i missed most of that. big show win? i presume this is his retirement lap

Yeah, Big Show squash. Divas tag match to get longer than the WHC and IC title matches. Amazing

what everyone wants to see is big show againgst mid card villains

cody rhodes looks alright, i'm guessing that big show is more or less uncarryable these days though.

Cant find a working stream now. Dunno if I can be arsed with this

Cody Rhodes was really good earlier in the year. He had a bit of a Mankind thing going on where he was 'deformed', wore a protective mask like footballers w/ face injuries and had a creepy screwed&chopped theme tune. Then they dropped it all for some reason.

Having the full Rick Astley shows that Vince needs to leave 2009 internet land NOW.

ok i guess my stream got bored and is rick rolling me, although i still just assume this is vince on twitter.

Cant find a working stream now. Dunno if I can be arsed with this

― Windsor Davies, Monday, 2 April 2012 00:49 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you want me to give you a shout for when jericho-punk is on?

Thanks for the offer man but I'm just gonna call it a night. Work in the morning, can't justify staying up for this stuff. I'll torrent it tomorrow for the 3 main events.

oops, http://i.minus.com/iVjZVyOls67AO.gif

it has been a while since i watched raw so i didn't see it myself but vince mocked jr's palsy on a show he wasn't at. seems like they are cool w oklahoma after all. stay classy vince, i'm sure the anti bullying campaign liked it. and whoever votes for linda.

Cabana's podcast hit #100 this week and it is Punk hosting and interviewing Colt. Highly recommended. Hilarious hearing the second biggest wrestler in the world sound really nervous and tripping over himself.

Dragon's crazy surfboard thing was p much the best moment in wrestling since Punk's promo last summer

You must know he cribbed that one from Jushin 'Thunder' Liger; I wanna see someone do his super fisherman buster.

I've not seen a lot of Liger. I have vague memories of him from WCW when I was a laddy but I've never done the time on YouTube. I should. Thursday, maybe. I have the Pillman matches on my must-see list.

Kings Reign Supreme in the WWE! Sara Del Rey got signed! Who cares if Raw gets worse every week, Death Rey is gonna be about in a year and a half, with some silly token lady name. And a year after that they will finally put the 3 of them back together! I need to figure a way to get one of those Death Rey shirts before her name change but she doesn't have an easily-googleable merch site.

Watched my first full Raw in forever. Seriously, it was BAD. When the only thing - IN 2012 - worth seeing is BOB FUCKING BACKLUND, then something is desperately wrong. There must have been about 6 minutes of wrestling if you take out the match where Cena and Kane tagged together (this being the Kane who not 6 months ago tried to end Cena's career, kill his kayfabe best friend and kidnap and rape his best friend's girlfriend). Considering Money In The Bank was the best PPV of the past two years, and I was super excited about the WWE only 3 months ago... this is a hell of a drop off. I don't think I'll even watch all of MITB, just grab the WWE Champ match on YouTube. Next weeks Raw will continue to suck. I'll see the 1000th Raw because it will be crazy but between now and SummerSlam, I don't imagine i'll be too interested.

Fucking hell, 3 hours of Raw every week is going to be the end of WWE unless they sort their shit out soon. Their ratings are dropping steadily as is. Their midcard is... the two world champions. Dunno how Bryan/Punk is gonna fill the first 2 hours every week without everyone hating them. About 60% of the roster is shitty and has usually been culled already (no post-WM draft or firings this year, wtf?). They aren't doing anything with Claudio, Sandow, Ziggler, Rhodes, Fat Ernest Miller, Ryberg, the tag team titles, Kong and haven't found a way to get Steamboat, Ambrose, Rollins or Hero on the show yet. It's a long fucking way from WM. Or enjoying wrestling again (or until I figure out where to get DG-USA from).

Michael Cole got an SMS text message from WWE headquarters (Booker T: "Wow") to say that the title match was No DQ.

A text message! From headquarters!

RAW stats:

http://blogimages.thescore.com/aftermath/files/2012/07/Aftermath-RAW999Ep-infographic2.png

The Miz wrestled 161 times on RAW? Really??

didn't he used to host it

that stat thing shows a bunch of things i hate, 1, people outside of wwe using wwe's stupid fucking language, 2, orton and cena have had 4000 matches while stone cold has had 12, wonder how he stayed fresh and they didn't, 3, not enough flag matches bring back the patriot

Yeah, pretty much everyone in the top ten were on RAW in 2002-5 when the brand extension had diluted the rosters.

I'm also wondering how many of those WWE title matches happened in 1998-9 when Russo was booking.

ok they showed Mae Young and Mark Henry's kid all grown up, Raw 1000 is totally worth it

Sean fucking Mooney!

SummerSlam tonight. One of the big four. And I, ILX's biggest wrestling fan, care enough that's i've watched 1 match from Raw since the 1000th episode.*

I'm gonna watch tonight. But seriously, if they have booked the middle aged parent who has wrestled three times in the past year, once against Kevin fucking Nash, to beat a fucking former UFC champion I think I'm done. I'm just never going to ever spend another penny on WWE. And I don't think I'm alone there - they are going to turn off so many tweens who are already starting to turn on this bullshit if they try and make Triple H look legit in this. Just break him within 2 minutes and move on to Brock Undertaker at WM29.

*tbf that match was Bryan Danielson v. John Cena and it was a masterpiece. You should go find it. Daniel Bryan really is the best wrestler since Eddy and a couple more years like this in the big leagues and he could hit Flair/Macho heights. Seriously. I'm not kidding, he's that good. He could have an interesting match with the Giant Gonzales, who i'm certain died two years ago.

I doubt I'll watch either. Shame, really. I've been watching tons of wrestling through all the documentaries on Netflix but the current product seems less and less appealing.

The new iPad app is cool though.

I've just looked at the card.

Pre-show Santino Marella (c) vs. Antonio Cesaro (with Aksana) Singles match for the WWE United States Championship[10]
1 Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar (with Paul Heyman) Singles match[11]
2 CM Punk (c) vs. Big Show vs. John Cena Triple Threat match for the WWE Championship[12]
3 Kane vs. Daniel Bryan Singles match[13]
4 Dolph Ziggler (with Vickie Guerrero) vs. Chris Jericho Singles match[14]
5 The Miz (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Singles match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship[15]
6 R-Truth and Kofi Kingston (c) vs. The Primetime Players (Titus O'Neil and Darren Young) Tag team match for the WWE Tag Team Championship[16]
7 Sheamus (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio Singles match for the World Heavyweight Championship[17]

Ziggler-Jericho might be cool. Del Rio is fucking awful. Primetime Players are fucking awful and the tag team division of letting minorities pick up a paycheck is embarrassing, especially knowing how good Truth is. Big Show v. John Cena is a title match in 2012. IN 2012. They first fucking fueded around Wrestlemania fucking 20, eight years ago. Big Show won his first world title and Kane wrestled at SummerSlam in 1995! Triple H, Jericho AND Mysterio were wrestling then too. I'm so fucking bored of these guys and then guys like Claudio are in the dark match so Rey Rey can wear an awkward fat covering t shirt.

Ziggler-Jericho looks like the only slightly bright spot on a pretty dire bill.

Yup.

this felt like an old school show where everyone before the main event was told to 'tone it down'. ziggler, bryan, mysterio etc. all seemed a bit slower than usual, less big spots than they could have had. fucking triple h.

still, the three way was surprisingly good. big show actually getting the opportunity to be a bad ass giant properly for the first time in a decade, leading to a match without him.

and the main event was alright. really though i just loved that triple h obviously booked a big 5 minute send off to himself where everyone would be teary eyed and chant his name and instead we got YOU TAPPED OUT YOU TAPPED OUT etc.

also fred durst is still alive

I only caught the main event. It wasn't bad; at least the fear that Triple H would win was false. I'm afraid that means a Trips beats Lesner redemption match for Wrestlemania, especially since Triple H lost to Undertaker the last two years..

oh dear god i fucking hope not. the only thing triple h should do near wrestlemania is be beat down on raw by brock, leading to taker coming out to save him and build their match. fuck another one of those matches, even if it wasn't shitty.

I don't want another Taker v. Lesner match either. Let Lesner be a monster and let Taker rest. 20 was enough.

well 1 match a year is resting! it is either brock v. rock or brock v. taker. personally i want him to destroy someone like orton or mark henry at survivor series, enter the royal rumble and throw out like ten dudes (and then have a maven moment) and then go for taker. keep him away from punk and the title.

alternatively v. bryan and have something like the bryan morishima matches would be incredible and i'd go back to loving the 'e forever

I'd like Taker to continue to rest and not return. Let it be over for good.

Lesner v Bryan would be cool.

Oh I'd love Taker to never come back and I really want this to be the year they get rid of ANYONE who wrestled on tv in the nineties, even Jericho. But he hasn't had an official retirement match and his last match is not going to be w/ kane v. jinder mahal, tyler reks and other jobbers.

http://botchamania.com/some-guy-reviews-chynas-new-film/#more-2101

Right on cue, she rolls under the bottom rope, then just keeps rolling over and over until she falls out the other side of the ring. Stone and Sanders stand there dumbfounded. Then Sanders gives a Flair “woooo”. Gold.

Here’s Gene on Chyna’s rolling.

Gene: What is this move? Very curious. Cut to two dicks in her mouth.

http://t.co/aJl3pv2o

THE ROCK IS IN HACKNEY. BEATING UP OUR CRIMINALS.

is he putting a hand on the bbq?

Oh man, I hope Jerry's okay. Fingers crossed.

I just saw RAW, needless to say it was tough to watch when you know what's about to happen. But in a way, he was lucky it happened at a live event because there were doctors right there. If he'd had a heart attack in the hotel before the show then he'd probably be dead now.

It was scary live, as things trickled out through the show and through twitter. But he is lucky, and I hope he has a quick and easy recovery. And that he stays out of the ring.

Maybe it's not a good idea for 60 year olds to be wrestling, but it's not like he was one of those typical wrestling burnouts. He was always in shape, didn't drink or do drugs, I'm not sure about his history with roids or painkillers but he didn't wrestle a very demanding style so he doesn't fit the profile of someone who would abuse that stuff. I'm not sure this could have been prevented if he hadn't been wrestling regularly, but yeah, I hope he doesn't try to make an in-ring comeback after this.

http://img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2012/09/17/article-1347878816953-150EFE4A000005DC-508827_466x336.jpg

that's awesome.

What happened to Lawler? (Have been away two weeks and am only checking ilx because of flight delay and free airport wifi).

Jerry had a heart attack on RAW when he was doing color commentary. Rushed him to the back, was revived by emts on the way to the hospital, is now recovering at home in Memphis.

Was nice seeing Jerry via satellite. He looks great.

"Marty Jannetty on facebook: 'o hell yes, imma ax this now. Shawn, my good friend, what up bee otch?? I gotta book coming out, well not yet, there’s a few moral issues, you may wanta contact me first, cause I’m telling bout my life, you being a part f it, well hell, call me, but in truth, I’d rather you not, the book will be soo much better if I don’t fall for your shit, but if you say, `Don’t say that,’ I’ll remember what yo religious fake ass said about me in your bullshit book. Anyone wanting to see real, will, I ain’t protecting yo as.' Our education system has failed us." - (WON 2012-01-23)

lol Punk beating up a fan the day his dvd is released and he has to fight Vince

USA chant to support South African Justin Gabriel this week.

Also a fucking you can't wrestle chant to.... CLAUDIO? WTF?

Sheamus and Big Show had... a really good match? Huh? Still gonna skip Big Show's retirement go round.

Kofi and Miz was dope but it ended too quickly.

Main event was fucking horrible. Punk made Honky Tonk Man look like a tough guy and Ryback still seems to have no idea what he is doing (great clothelines though.) Nick Patrick-ing it when you have Lesnar or even just Heyman to mess with a dude, or you could go for some sort of Dusty finish or just a Diesel-Bret Hart cheeky roll up or just fucking anything other than evil ref. Evil refs are the worst, the guy is obviously a failed actor from FCW (Maddo I wanna say?) who should be future endeavoured/put under a mask and started again.

USA USA USA USA USA

Yeah let's go the Ghanian who acts Jamaican, beat that Swiss fella for America!

Tyler Black (Seth Rollins) and Jon Moxley (Dean Ambrose) debut in the main event! FUCK YES! Also the son of Sika from the Wild Samoans! Hell of a potential stable there!

Survivor Series was mostly rubbish. Ryback should be nowhere near the main event. Randy Orton is so very dull and the booking of the match was atrocious. Sheamus and Big Show bored me nearly to tears. Having discussions about how no-one cares about rugby must be a way to fuck with Claudio for some reason.

First match was fun though and JBL can make anything fun.