Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"i'm glad my mother insisted i get my MBA to fall back on instead of just focusing on my first career with the jim rose circus"

"So I emerged through the backseat of a limo and I thought, 'Now what?' It's not like Mathew Barney's career was going to go on forever."

Jim Breuer ruined my life.

"Christ, this is normal."

"Yes Ted, I understand I do understand the full irony of the expression here, but no, I'm not kidding you."

"Long story short, I had to hoof it all the way from midtown."

"I did all this work but I have nothing to shofar it"

that pun's probably been made more successfully a million billion times

"I wanted to go to a therapist, but my wife says we need the wool."

haha the midtown one has 'new yorker potential'

"I laughed at the Great God Pan."

(Few people will probably get what that refers to, though.)

"evil is such a loaded word."

"i sometimes think law chose me."

"well, you know, 'merry wanderer of the night' doesn't really pay the bills"

That's a win one.

Then again, these are the ones they liked for the 'cricket cowboy' one:

“On a clear day, I can get Santa Fe on the antenna.”
"At the next canyon, I'll show you why."
“Nope, it's not a new haircut. Try again.”

“Nope, it's not a new haircut. Try again.”

Which also went for the 'snake with a big ass' pic.

I think we have a new 'goes with any pic' caption, along with "This is normal" and "Christ, what an asshole!"

"She's staying with some relatives for the weekend. Why?"

"I laughed at the Great God Pan."

― Tuomas, Tuesday, 28 February 2012 08:58 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

(Few people will probably get what that refers to, though.)

― Tuomas, Tuesday, 28 February 2012 08:59 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The Great God Pan is a lawyer!

(a differently obscure reference)

"They said it would stay in Vegas."

lol

"I'm just glad my tailor can cover the tail, to be honest with you"

"they had al pacino play me and that matrix guy play kevin. i've still never seen it."

"I laughed at the Great God Pan."

― Tuomas, Tuesday, February 28, 2012 8:58 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

(Few people will probably get what that refers to, though.)

― Tuomas, Tuesday, February 28, 2012 8:59 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Wait, Tuomas is quoting the Fall?

No, The Fall is quoting Jack Kirby.

The vegas one and "law chose me" one are both pretty lol.

Aw, Tuomas, I knew you weren't really quoting the Fall (though actually it took me ages to remember what it was originally from), I just liked the 'posts very much out of character' element.

"...so then Stacy told me 'helicopter parents' didn't refer to literal helicopters, and everyone laughed at me."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/03/12/p465/120312_contest_p465.jpg

"apparently he's the god of orthodontics"

ok, that's way too good...

I say that every week, and every week, there's something gets chosen that's like "Oh, I forgot, the Joneses are coming over for Polenta" or something.

"Apparently the soil contains traces of Prozac."

"I'm afraid of what we'll find if we dig any deeper."

"Welcome to Christmas Island."

"the irony is that they were wiped out in a mass suicide cult"

"this is not normal..."

"they say this island illustrates 'the comedy of the commons'"

comedy of the commons is awesome but too obscure, i fear.

"This hill has an unobstructed view of Mt. Bosom."

"The first line of the inscription reads 'Something going to something something up. Never something something down.' I don't understand it either."

"Well, they were certainly handsome devils, eh? Some say they simply admired themselves to death."

"what's with all these rock hard penises?"

"I'm afraid of what we'll find if we dig any deeper."
― EZ Snappin, Monday, March 5, 2012
A+

orthodontics line a dead cert

Ebert:

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/assets_c/2012/03/%20%20%20easter-thumb-510x384-45321.jpg

"they really like this punchline"

oh shit EDIT "they really like this caption"

haha that's great

"Believe me, it's what's under the ground that's most interesting."
Submitted by Webb Harris
Winter Springs, Fla.

Verry close to EZ Snappin's version!