Let an EXCELSIOR be an EXCELSIOR, and let sleeping LOLS lie

From the thoroughly gross 'pet poops' thread:

--

i only feed my dog the finest organic kibble and thus he poops neat little tootsie rolls, no need to wipe

the turtle is much worse, i get projectile shitted-on every time we do shell maintenance

― the late great, Monday, February 27, 2012 9:47 AM (3 hours ago)

snake too, one time he wrapped himself around my wrist and used his strength to whip himself around while shitting, thus slingshot-launching his poop into my face.

― the late great, Monday, February 27, 2012 9:48 AM (3 hours ago)

okay, that right there is a set of images

wtf i come here for the jokes

Whiney I saw you on TV yesterday. that was weird.

― Artful Dodderer (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, February 27, 2012 10:00 AM (4 hours ago)

was he on America's Funniest Flubs, Blunders, And Boners? i love that show.

― scott seward, Monday, February 27, 2012 10:01 AM (4 hours ago)

Funniest Boners?

http://www.redshirt.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/batman6.jpg

"I appreciate the opportunity to be here and to discuss obviously the number one issue in this campaign and the number one issue here in the state of Michigan, which is the health and state of our economy and what we can do in Washington, D.C., I would put it, to create an atmosphere for our economy to grow, the private sector to grow.

Here in Michigan, you've been through a lot of tough times. I knew she was a snitch so I cut off her tongue. Got happy with the trigger, now I'm on the run. An assassin! We all know that, and it's exciting to see the resurgence of the auto industry here. But over the last four years, Michigan's lost over 140,000 jobs; 250,000 people from Michigan have left the workforce and the unemployment rate is, unfortunately, still higher than the national average. So if you were to ask the question 'Are you better off now than you were four years ago?', for too many people in this state, the answer would still be, 'Wicked clown, wicked clown, wicked clown, wicked clown.' Don't fuck with me.

I'm going to lay out very quickly my economic plan. And you're going to hear this and you're going to say, 'Well, that's pretty similar to other economic plans' that you've heard from Republicans. Let me do that first, and then let me tell you how we're just a little different from some of the others in this race and how we approach the issue of creating an opportunity where everyone in America can rise.

My father was a priest, cold blooded, he's dead. Hypocrite, he was a bigot, so I cut off his head. Poured on the holy water, 'Bless the dead' is what I said. And heard the demons screaming as his body bled. I also believe in reducing the size of government. That's key. You can't just cut taxes and reduce as a result ... revenues to the federal government without creating a balance by reducing the size of government. And that's important, too -- to remove the regulatory burden from the people of this country.

Now I know you folks here in Michigan have been hearing some things on the television from one of my opponents that I am a big spender. You will find that fairly surprising to the folks who are my colleagues and any objective look at my spending record when I was in Congress, and there was one done just yesterday by the Weekly Standard. Went into my trailer, I filled up the glass. Before she took a sip I had my dick in her ass.
I banged it, and banged it, the shit was absurd! Like she was Sporty Spice, and I was some fuckin' nerd. Wicked clown, wicked clown, wicked clown, wicked clown.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a hostile world, and we need to make sure that we are relying upon ourselves and that means we need to create a marketplace where we can compete with everybody around the world. No advantages, just a level playing field. Wicked clown, wicked clown. Wicked clown, wicked clown. Don't fuck with me."
--Rick Santorum, speech to the Detroit Economic Club, 2/18/12

― unlistenable in philly (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Tuesday, February 28, 2012 11:13 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

it would be funnier if i wasn't so concerned about how long underratedaerosmith spent putting it together

that is truly a thing of beauty

just on paper, it's great, but i need to hear it performed tbh

this...I love it.

aerosmith = hero

looooool, I love it

Sheryl Crow will really get to show off her coloratura in that

― robbery by sudden snatching (DJP), Tuesday, February 28, 2012 8:35 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

had to look it up.

when that poster uses words unknown to me, i have to figure it's either an operatic term or some mysterious part of the female anatomy.

I thought it was something to do with reptiles, lol

oh man, you all haven't seen the video of Sheryl Crow singing a Mozart duet with Pavarotti, have you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P627lL09hwg

this is a soprano/baritone duet being sung by a pop singer and a tenor, fyi

LOL

"sheryl crow" and "coloratura" are two words that have a like a totally opposed magnetic resonance

I had no idea Sheryl Crow was so annoying.

huh. i learned something today.

xpost

She has a pretty weak voice, but she does a better job with it than I would have guessed.

she's from Columbia, MO!!

pretty good, sheryl

I know, right? I was very surprised!

like really!

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7203/6933170213_eaf360cc29_z.jpg

Can someone explain this to me?

― Laura Lucy Lynn (La Lechera), Tuesday, February 28, 2012 1:24 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I believe that's the shirt you get for your baby boy when he bangs a bunch of chicks and writes a book about it?

― tylerw, Tuesday, February 28, 2012 1:29 PM (2 hours ago)

"I wanted to be a part of that process," he says. "Somehow, that manifested in pig slaughter."

the number of times ive said this to myself

― lag∞n, Monday, February 6, 2012 3:23 PM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

shows what happens when my US history class runs out of time somewhere between the start of the vietnam war and the year I was born

― Nicholas Pokémon (silby), Wednesday, February 29, 2012 2:42 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"America left Vietnam, snorted coke at Studio 54, Reagan!"

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, February 29, 2012 2:42 AM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― Male Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Nutsack (Abbbottt), Tuesday, February 28, 2012 10:44 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

omg abbs

Dina Lohan ‏ @dinalohan
The Lohan woman LOVE Terry Richardson !! Thank you for gracing us with your kindness xo

https://twitter.com/#!/dinalohan/status/173492148556140544

― max, Tuesday, February 28, 2012 3:48 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

who calls a penis "kindness"

― Vaseline MEN AMAZING JOURNEY (DJP), Tuesday, February 28, 2012 3:50 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

barbara cartland

"Oo, woo-oo woo
oo-oo woo
oo-oo woo oo oo"

http://www.rockofages.uk.com/stock/1034.jpg

public school is kinda horrible imho, if i had the money and the children id send them to private for sure

― lag∞n, Wednesday, February 29, 2012 3:23 PM (6 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what would their names be

― puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Wednesday, February 29, 2012 3:25 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

pikachu and voteronpaul

― lag∞n, Wednesday, February 29, 2012 3:26 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

shakey's posts remind me of why browsing the comedy section of any video store is such a dispiriting experience.

― rob, Wednesday, February 29, 2012 3:41 PM (37 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

shakey stands around your video store disparaging your choices?

― A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Wednesday, February 29, 2012 3:42 PM (12 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

http://earbuds.popdose.com/bob/TROLL2.jpg

^me after exiting Blockbuster

i choose you voteronpaul

dying over here

I wonder if there was a Dr. Morbius equivalent in 1940 berating people for liking Bob Hope instead of . . . I don't know, John Bunny.

― A Full Torgo Apparition (Phil D.), Wednesday, February 29, 2012 5:59 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'm sure he was

― A Little Princess btw (s1ocki), Wednesday, February 29, 2012 5:02 PM (38 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ha

I hope they spend 20 minutes with a Nick Fury origin story, so we can find out how he got his eyepatch.

― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, February 29, 2012 5:44 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

mail order iirc

― inspector george gentlyfallingblood (c sharp major), Wednesday, February 29, 2012 5:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

special delivery of lol

forgive me whiney for i am

https://w1.buysub.com/pubs/SM/SPM/6for6issues.jsp?cds_page_id=114163&cds_mag_code=SPM&id=1330573204198&lsid=20602138412022983&vid=2&cds_response_key=I1201NL

linking to a $6 subscription.

might or might not work, considering i just jumped on it.

― NO NUTRITIONAL CONTENT (kelpolaris), Wednesday, February 29, 2012 10:41 PM (58 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

6

― iatee, Wednesday, February 29, 2012 10:50 PM (49 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

6 dollar

― iatee, Wednesday, February 29, 2012 10:50 PM (49 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

6 dollar spin subscription

― iatee, Wednesday, February 29, 2012 10:50 PM (49 minutes ago) Bookmark

not what i thought "buysub.com" was for

but aren't they only $5?

I think there is a span between not being best friends forever and not being able to play together within a studio at the same time and place though.

Then again, it's Blink 182 and not Weather Report, so it's not like they are going to bust into some part that will expand based on the player's interaction or something. So much of that modern rock is just as microprocessed to the nth click and or copied and pasted, it's not like there is any real interaction between the musicians anyway. Not that doing it that way necessarily makes it bad music, but the spontaneous part of the equation is nigh on gone.

― earlnash, Wednesday, February 29, 2012 6:38 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Then again, what would Weather Report have sounded like if they had all lived in the same house?

― Mark G, Wednesday, February 29, 2012 6:42 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

pretty much like Enema of the State

― tylerw, Wednesday, February 29, 2012 6:44 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"Time to take the 'Kill Romney' strategy to the next level." Time to...actually kill him.

― clemenza, Thursday, 1 March 2012 07:32 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

(Note to Homeland Security: this is a message board where we regularly joke around, especially with regards to Mitt Romney. The above post is not intended as advocacy.)

― clemenza, Thursday, 1 March 2012 07:57 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

allah salam alaikum plan is go

― lag∞n, Thursday, 1 March 2012 08:59 (36 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

so perfect

legume shoots and scores

beautiful

I loved it!