On a river bed, I found an old man doubled over holding his head. A woman was laid out in front of him, bloody and dead. When I stopped and walked up to him, he stood up and shakily held a gun to his own head. I ran up and pushed him. He dropped the gun and began weeping and then finally glaring at me angrily until I rode away. That’s not a video game, that’s a Cormac McCarthy short story.
― little clouds of citrus spritz as i peel (forksclovetofu), Friday, 17 February 2012 22:02 (twelve years ago) link
re: de blob 2 - yeah the controls are 100% better because yknow buttons are for jumping, not jerking a wiimote around. note: i did not play all the way through, so it might suck in latter points, but its cheap now and a lot of non-frustrating fun so far.
― Thu'um gang (jjjusten), Saturday, 18 February 2012 01:06 (twelve years ago) link
Dungeons of Dredmor was okay, but in a year with Binding of Isaac...
Groove Coaster is ABSOLUTELY worth a buck.Three is more open to interp.
― Nhex, Saturday, 18 February 2012 01:14 (twelve years ago) link
Who's the cool guy who voted for Fisher Diver?
― bamcquern, Saturday, 18 February 2012 01:14 (twelve years ago) link
it wasn't me, but fisher diver was on my shortlist and probably would've made a ballot of 20-25 games
― Mordy, Saturday, 18 February 2012 02:12 (twelve years ago) link
Fisher Diver is pretty cool!
― Nhex, Saturday, 18 February 2012 04:48 (twelve years ago) link
I'm pretty sure it was me who voted for Fisher Diver. I figured it was on the list, someone else would be repping for it, but nope, just me? I thought it was a great version of that sort of game - it needs a bit of skill, but not so much that it drives a bad gamer mad, and you can grind and upgrade a bit if you are shit, and the story is a very very sweet addition to the gameplay.
― emil.y, Saturday, 18 February 2012 06:04 (twelve years ago) link
(I'm unsure if you can tell, but I'm not a games journalist)
― emil.y, Saturday, 18 February 2012 06:05 (twelve years ago) link
I made www.cointandplick.com a CNAME for the wordpress site for now. jamescobo are you out there? I can transfer the domain to you if the wordpress thing is going to be the home of freshly created coint and plick content like Mordy's essay going forward. Webmail me.
― tinker tailor soldier sb (silby), Monday, 20 February 2012 05:22 (twelve years ago) link
I LIVE~
and fortuitously enough I have been a-portin' this year's entries to the blog tonight anyway so holla at yr boy & tell me what I need to do. also whoever's making the header images for each entry, plz fix the one for Civ 5 so that I can add it.
I would be totally down for making this a repository for ILX gaming essays btw, lord knows there are plenty of times when I get the urge to make lists or erect profane strawmen in defense of random-ass games but have no outlet. how should we handle this? I can just make a gmail where folks can send their blathering missives to and then share the login info w/ a Learned Council of ILX Gaming Elders if that would be easiest.
― DWARF ATHLETIC ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA (jamescobo), Monday, 20 February 2012 09:21 (twelve years ago) link
http://i44.tinypic.com/257q5it.jpg#109: Madden NFL 12 – 360 / PS3 – 5 pts - 1 voteOfficial Game Sitehttp://media.operationsports.com/shots/400/16338.jpgMetacriticGametrailerstomofthenest: This was my first this-gen Madden and I liked it even if I honestly haven't played it much. Truth is that I don't really understand American football so well and the depth is lost on me. In an average game, either me or the lad will find a play that works most of the time, and the other will spend the entire game trying to find a defensive play that neutralises it whilst losing to a score better suited to cricket than the NFL. Then we repeat the other way round.
― little clouds of citrus spritz as i peel (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 21 February 2012 02:15 (twelve years ago) link
http://i41.tinypic.com/a0a24p.jpg#109: Monsters Ate My Condo – iOS – 5 pts – 1 voteOfficial Game Sitehttp://media.edge-online.com/files/imagecache/article/articles/reviews/monsters_ate_my_condo.jpgEurogamerhttp://www.ienticement.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Monsters-Ate-My-Condo1.jpghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5xuHViALpohttp://www.modojo.com/media/games/monsters_ate_my_condo/ipad/18.jpgTouch Arcade Forum Threadhttp://www.maclife.com/files/u307916/2012/01/reviews/condo.jpgDJP: Another fucking finger strain game. I am sending Apple my medical bills.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5xuHViALpoMonsters Ate My Facebookhttp://assets.ilounge.com/images/reviews_games/92311/6.jpghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QuT2tI0_JBoMetacritichttp://www.pocketgamer.co.uk/FCKEditorFiles//five-stars-monsters-ate-my-condo.jpghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THfP-CgLIEEhttp://www.modojo.com/media/games/monsters_ate_my_condo/ipad/18.jpg
http://i39.tinypic.com/1z3tn2c.jpg#109: Oh! Edo Towns – iOS – 5 pts - 1 voteApp Store Downloadhttp://cdn.pocket-lint.com/images/CWDT/aotd-kairosoft-oh-edo-towns-0.jpg?20111109-193656MetacriticTouch Arcade Review
http://i42.tinypic.com/256valu.jpg#109: PataNoir– PC – 5 pts - 1 vote - FREE!Official Game Sitehttp://indiegames.com/patanoir.jpgKillScreen
― little clouds of citrus spritz as i peel (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 21 February 2012 02:16 (twelve years ago) link
Oh my god that KillScreen review of PataNoir is so bad
― Mordy, Tuesday, 21 February 2012 02:33 (twelve years ago) link
Good God, Monsters Ate My Condo looks like a psychedelic nightmare. Very tempting.
I voted for PataNoir, because I am a massive dork. It's a pretty good example of word-game based IF, and in a way I wish I'd given it more points, but I do remember being frustrated with it a few times (parser problems, necessary items easy to overlook, some descriptions not fleshed out - all in quite a minor way, this is actually a pretty polished game, but just enough intrusions to break the flow of play).
― emil.y, Tuesday, 21 February 2012 02:35 (twelve years ago) link
Also, I voted right at the last minute and didn't nominate, so the only text adventures I could remember were from the comp (I voted for two). I'm sure there may have been better ones released last year, I just couldn't think of them.
― emil.y, Tuesday, 21 February 2012 02:36 (twelve years ago) link
Oh, and yeah, ugh, people writing IF reviews in the style of IF is so ridiculously cliched and awful.
― emil.y, Tuesday, 21 February 2012 02:37 (twelve years ago) link
I might need monsters ate my condo I think
― Thu'um gang (jjjusten), Tuesday, 21 February 2012 02:39 (twelve years ago) link
me too. And I don't even play games on my phone.
― EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 21 February 2012 02:43 (twelve years ago) link
i think PataNoir is really good, emily -- its been a few years since I kept up with IFComp and new releases like I did in high school + college, but I remember thinking it was pretty striking, esp the entire manipulating metaphors to solve puzzles idea. Still not the best IF noir (which is actually my fave IF game: Slouching Towards Bedlam).
― Mordy, Tuesday, 21 February 2012 02:48 (twelve years ago) link
Oh yes, I re-played STB on your recommendation, actually. It is very good, definitely up there.
― emil.y, Tuesday, 21 February 2012 03:01 (twelve years ago) link
I've actually been thinking bc of Codecademy that I might write another IF game in the near future...
― Mordy, Tuesday, 21 February 2012 03:17 (twelve years ago) link
Only someone who isn't familiar with the NFL could vote for this year's Madden. Very fitting.
― polyphonic, Tuesday, 21 February 2012 03:46 (twelve years ago) link
I haven't played any kairosoft beyond Game Dev Story. Those screens make Edo Towns look a lot deeper than GDS was?
― JimD, Tuesday, 21 February 2012 08:32 (twelve years ago) link
The only kairosoft game I played last year was the football/'soccer' one, which was mildly diverting but not great. It felt more like a rough idea which had been half-heartedly turned into a full game.
― oppet, Tuesday, 21 February 2012 13:15 (twelve years ago) link
Monsters Ate My Condo is absolutely worth a dollar for the visual style. The game itself is best described as reverse Jenga with extra pattern matching and isn't IMO as engaging as a more contemplative game like Bejeweled, but it's totally insane to look at and probably more fun if you dig twitchy puzzle games.
― (thinks and smiles) (DJP), Tuesday, 21 February 2012 13:32 (twelve years ago) link
btw writing that has made me want ro play it again
― (thinks and smiles) (DJP), Tuesday, 21 February 2012 13:33 (twelve years ago) link
how many more 109s are there btw?
― Thu'um gang (jjjusten), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 17:00 (twelve years ago) link
more posts today plz
― Mordy, Wednesday, 22 February 2012 17:01 (twelve years ago) link
I should have given more points to Monsters Ate My Condo
― (thinks and smiles) (DJP), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 17:01 (twelve years ago) link
i've been digging the lite version but can't really figure out the mechanics well enough to know when i'm doing well or not, and i can't figure out whether i want to pay for the full version. maybe i will. it's pretty fun.
― Mordy, Wednesday, 22 February 2012 17:03 (twelve years ago) link
is part of the joy figuring out how to rack up points, or can i safely look up a gamefaqs or something and get the rundown?
you can look it up, but it's mostly about managing the build of combos along with swapping in the right monster for the right powerup
― (thinks and smiles) (DJP), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 17:07 (twelve years ago) link
do all combos result in bronze medals and the only way to get silver/gold/platinum is by combining those bronze medals? also -- can you only combine medals if they're touching each other? can they ever combine when there's a colored block between them? also! what are those cat looking blocks that change color? how do you make combos with them?
― Mordy, Wednesday, 22 February 2012 17:11 (twelve years ago) link
- three matched color condos make a bronze- three bronzes make a silver- three silvers make a gold- three golds make a diamond- no idea what three diamonds make- three "bad condos"(concrete/bomb) make a cat condo- cat condos upgrade the condo-making process; 3 color + cat = silver condo etc etc- the only way to make a combo with noncontiguous blocks is if they are separated by bombs, concrete or cats
― (thinks and smiles) (DJP), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 17:14 (twelve years ago) link
no idea what happens if you make a combo with three cats
― (thinks and smiles) (DJP), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 17:15 (twelve years ago) link
ok, and how does the upgrade/monster system work? i get that the different colored monsters take the different colored blocks, and also that you can swap them out by getting a similarly colored combo. do they have different buffs? i think i fed a bronze to a monster once and they went to sleep? other times i feed them stuff and shit goes crazy, like UFOs appear, etc. unpredictable tho.
― Mordy, Wednesday, 22 February 2012 17:16 (twelve years ago) link
check their bios, they list all the powers there and I might get them wrong but IIRC, when you feed a bronze or better to a monster one of four things happens:
red - monsters fall asleep, you can feed them the wrong color block without upsetting themblue - your tower straightens up and becomes invulnerable for a short period of timegreen - when you form a combo, you generate two blocks instead of oneyellow - the points your score are multiplied by 10 for a short period of time
the nicer the combo block you feed the monster, the longer the phase lasts; I gave the yellow dude a diamond earlier today and I think I was in gonzo scoring time for close to a minute
― (thinks and smiles) (DJP), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 17:20 (twelve years ago) link
no idea what happens if you feed them a catfeeding them bombs pisses them off so much, it's hilarious
more coming later on. work and kraftwerk taking priority.I can get through the 109's by end of day friday methinks
― little clouds of citrus spritz as i peel (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 17:29 (twelve years ago) link
just discovered that three diamonds activates megazone
― Mordy, Wednesday, 22 February 2012 17:46 (twelve years ago) link
ok this condo game is kinda dope
― Nhex, Wednesday, 22 February 2012 19:28 (twelve years ago) link
EZ Snappin Biggest Disappointment: A tie between Assassins Creed: Revelations and Ico & Shadow of the Colossus Collection HD
If I hadn't played Assassins Creed:Revelations then the incredibly shitty controls and cameras in the Team Ico reissues would have been my pick. I never had a PS2, so was psyched that these "classics" would be coming out. They are beautiful, and I can't wait till my next NYC trip so I can see forks play them. If I had kept fighting with the games any longer I would have needed a new controller because mine would have been in a million pieces. However, I did play the latest Assassins Creed and man, did they fuck it up.
I love Assassins Creed 2 and Brotherhood; though AC2 had the best locales, Brotherhood's refined combat and assassin recruits were welcome additions. AC:R takes those two further, but then adds in tower defense minigames. I don't know about you, but when I think about the best part of the Assassins Creed series I think top down real-time strategy gameplay. Come the fuck on people! And the only way to avoid this after the mandatory introduction mission is to run around bribing and killing dudes in a strict (but nebulous) countdown after claiming an area. Fuck you and your generic Constantinople which makes it impossible for me to tell where I am without the minimap. Screw you and your bombs I never used, because nothing is subtler than a dude lobbing grenades. And, if that wasn't enough, there are some incredibly poorly done first person memory unlock missions for Desmond the modern day monkey to got through, because again, first person perspective and crappy puzzle platforming are the hallmarks of Assassins Creed. Unfortunately, I'm thoroughly invested with the story so played this all the way through to find out that, yes, you get the endings for Altair and Ezio but the overall story doesn't advance at all! (Note: maybe Desmond's story advanced; I gave up on his memories halfway through the second poorly designed and poorly controlling segment) Seriously, this wasn't flogging a dead horse, this is skinning it, stuffing it, putting it on wheels and pushing it over a cliff.
― little clouds of citrus spritz as i peel (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 23:27 (twelve years ago) link
Reading that again and I think the fact that I really didn't like Assassin's Creed much came through okay.
― EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 22 February 2012 23:36 (twelve years ago) link
come on - a tie between that and Ico HD?
― Mordy, Wednesday, 22 February 2012 23:37 (twelve years ago) link
I'm sorry, Ico controls like ass. Pretty as hell, and I do want to watch someone play it, but I didn't like playing it at all.
― EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 22 February 2012 23:39 (twelve years ago) link
http://i40.tinypic.com/2hxly6h.jpg#109: Shadows of the Damned – 360 / PS3 – 5 pts - 1 voteOfficial Game Sitehttp://cache.kotaku.com/assets/images/9/2010/11/damned.jpgGamasutraMetacriticGametrailers
forksclovetofu: This was a very late addition to my list that caught me completely off guard. My experience both with SUDA and Resident Evil is consistently meh; both seem to take their twisted world view seriously. What a treat to find a ridiculous, beautifully conceived world populated by B-movie characters with C-movie dialogue. This is the equivalent of a drive-in movie that you play. So dumb! So fun! So unlikely I’ll ever finish it!
jjjusten: On the plus side, its definitely a genuine Suda 51 thing: lots of completely insane decisions and ideas. The times where it really works is totally rewarding and its far more playable in the conventional sense than No More Heroes ever was. Environments are really interesting, and the visual design in general is fantastic. The points where the game steps outside of itself and does meta commentary on how the main character is an idiot all really work, including an amazing section where Garcia (the main character) is reading a book aloud and struggling to make it through some of the longer words. The voice acting in this is about as good as it gets. Shadows also never becomes boring; the pacing is top-notch. The use of puzzles, some of which are among the best (not hardest) I’ve seen in a long time, is almost revolutionary.BUTThe sense of humor is juvenile in the extreme, which sometimes works, but when you’ve heard Garcia say "TASTE MY BIG BONER!!" seventy times in a row it really starts to wear on you. It also falls victim to some brain destroying mistakes wrt to save point placement and unskippable cutscenes, not to mention the dreaded “timed run away while dodging obstacles, oh you couldn’t? so do this section 50 times in a row” issue. There are times where the controls are weirdly unresponsive, always at the worst and most crucial points. And make no mistake, this game is mercilessly hard in spots, even at the lowest difficulty level, so the great setpiece moments seem to go by too quickly while the grindy shit can take up 30 minutes of furious yelling. Weirdly, the ending is really unimaginative and uninspired and seems like a somewhat generic ghostwritten section given all the great writing that came before.. I have significant suspicions that the last 30 minutes might have been taken out of Sudas hands. It’s that bland and out of character
Unless you are a glutton for punishment, there is no replay value here; it just opens up harder difficulty levels. Shadows is well worth a rental (or a cheap purchase) and paradoxically its still probably one of the best games I have played this year, but its going back to Gamestop for a swap because I cant imagine popping it in again any time in the near future. For all the great “show your friends this crazy shit” possibilities, the savepoint system doesn’t allow you to go back to specific points; its an autosave only once through and done thing. If I had a bunch of friends to swap games with, I would force this on all of them. It’s the sort of game that you really want other people to play. It is in the wheelhouse of lots of my favorite off-kilter games (MadWorld, House of the Dead, Deadly Premonition, Bulletstorm, etc) but its defiantly unbroken which, in some ways, makes it less likeable.
Like I said, it’s complicated.
― little clouds of citrus spritz as i peel (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 23:54 (twelve years ago) link
http://i40.tinypic.com/20p8rap.jpg#109: Sid Meier’s Pirates! – iOS – 5 pts - 1 voteOfficial Game Sitehttp://screens.latestscreens.com/showrandomscreenshot.php?lcname=sidmeierspirates&lcplatform=MetacriticTouch Arcade Review
Euler: iOS gaming was where it was at for me in 2011, mostly for practical reasons: I'm on the road a bunch and don't get much more than an hour a day of console time even when I'm at home. But my iPod & iPad are with me always. Also I AM A CHEAPASS and don't buy new console game. In 2011 I spent most of my console time playing Assassin's Creed & Tales of Vesperia & the Saboteur & Dragon Age: Origins. Why? Because they were cheap and looked and played great!
jamescobo: Okay, the touchscreen controls for the iPad version of Pirates can officially suck it. Ditto for the relentless loading times.
― little clouds of citrus spritz as i peel (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 22 February 2012 23:55 (twelve years ago) link
http://i39.tinypic.com/24e5au8.jpg#109: Streetpass– 3DS – 5 pts - 1 voteOfficial Game Sitehttp://www.vooks.net/images/video_streetpass.jpg”World of Walkcraft”MetacriticStreetpass NYCIan F: I don't think there's ever been a game before that I would only recommend if you have live in a major city (and preferably have a daily commute on the train), but that's the case for this one. The bit within the game is just enough of a game to be fun, and short enough to easily be played on the same commutes, but the real fun game is going in search of other 3DSes, or the mystery when that green light on the 3DS lights up and you try to work out who else around you it was based on a Mii and the minimal information ever-protective Nintendo allow you to share. Getting the Tube to various places suddenly becomes a game in itself, keeping the 3DS batteries alive throughout events where there will be a lot of people a strategic struggle.