Bruno Mars/Smeezingtons singles poll

well, it's a strong tune, and i hate the original cuz i don't like dude's smeary sleazy voice and his lyrics are boring, but i do like k michelle's voice and the angle she takes, so it stands to reason!

haha wait, why is the thesis statement here that B.O.B. is obviously lying and planning on dumping the woman

maybe they lived happily every after, or maybe she dumped him for being clingy

well, it comes off like it's k michelle's interpretation of the original! based on the way the original is made up of clichés and sweet nothings designed to seduce girls, i guess

Tt's a total cliche in song for a woman to automatically assume that everything a guy says to her is insincere nonsense in service of getting her to have sex with him so I don't really see how she's any better in this particular scenario, plus those lyrics do not scan to the cadence of the melody at all. She sounds like she never heard the word "deserve" before.

like, that is the clumsiest, least musical thing I've heard this week, and I heard "Starships"

1. Grenade
2. uh billionaire i guess
3. uh

"Right Round" kind of seems like the odd one out on this list since they're not credited as producers on it, and always seemed more like a Dr. Luke joint to me.

two out of three Smeezingtons have writing credits, though

Too much indie hate for this guy around here imo. Some good stuff here; he's actually pretty talented, wish he'd let himself stretch a bit commercial artists gonna be commercial.

tbf hipsters would be all over "The Lazy Song" and "Bow Chicka Wow Wow" if they were sung by Gnarls Barkley

haha it does NOT sound like toot it and boot it

― CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, February 16, 2012 9:11 AM Bookmark

It's got the same kind of upbeat looped soul piano and the choruses are v similar in melody. YW&F is slicker for sure, though.

Would like to hear Lana Del Rey do "Grenade."

nonononononoNONONononononoNO

I'd catch a grenade for you
in my polka dot swimsuit
at the drag race holding a white handkerchief
running a comb through your pompadour
I'd do anything for you

It would have this great tension between her ice-queen delivery and the grandiose promises.

And then she could do "Right Round."

you spin me right round baby right round
like a record baby
a 45
on my sassy mama's victrola
black and white movies
stickball gaaaames

the worst of these are seriously some of the most atrocious songs of my lifetime

― illuminati girl (J0rdan S.), Thursday, February 16, 2012 10:04 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

otm

Why is this a poll? This is like asking "which pile of vomit is least fermented."

tbf hipsters would be all over "The Lazy Song" and "Bow Chicka Wow Wow" if they were sung by Gnarls Barkley
― CANDY aka JUNK (some dude), Thursday, February 16, 2012 1:23 PM (3 hours ago) Bookmark

Are you sure hipsters are really that stupid?

the ones that went nuts for "Fuck You" are, yes

its equally obvious that "fuck you" would not have been a hit among hipsters if bruno mars had sung it but i dont think it works the other way, esp for "the lazy song"

well yeah i'm trolling mostly but i still feel like those songs are all pretty interchangeable in terms of their musical merit or senses of humor

about a month ago i finally found myself having to give in and accept that i actually love a bruno mars song ("it will rain")

also like or tolerate:

right round
nothin' on you
fuck you
grenade

Billionaire probably annoys me more than any other song in recent memory, particularly for being so historically/politically tone deaf

Nothing is interchangeable with "The Lazy Song". Nothing.

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

My mom was arguing with me about how it is impossible to dislike "The Lazy Song", and it was in fact the greatest song of the past year. This disturbed me a great deal.

It upsets me to ponder even for a moment the worldview vantage point from which "The Lazy Song" is a great song.

Like think about how sad (emotionally) you must be to hear this song and really vibe with it.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

fuck all five of you

shoulda been six coz I forgot to vote #takethat

Wait Bruno Mars wrote 'fuck you'? I would've voted for that and yeah whoever said that a hipster like myself would love Lazy Song if it was sung by Cee-lo is otm. Why is there anything wrong with that idk.

cuz it's a dogshit song that's completely reprehensible on many, many grounds that transcend who happens to be singing the song

Oh I know the song is dogshit. I was just saying I'd prefer any Bruno Mars song with Cee-loo singing it instead of him. I guess the polemic was that someone upthread was debating that we should prefer the real Bruno Mars' version just because he is the composer but that is utter bollocks. Lazy Song by Bruno Mars is offensive as performance and composition and with Cee-lo it would only be offensive as composition.

"i prefer my shit painted with gold"

cuz it's a dogshit song that's completely reprehensible on many, many grounds that transcend who happens to be singing the song

― J0rdan S., Thursday, February 23, 2012 1:23 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

so is "Fuck You"

Doesn't matter how many times you say it, some dude, you're on the wrong side of the "Fuck You" issue. I loved it the first time I heard it, and so did America. I'll agree about "Lazy Song," though the vehemence of the protests here doth seems too much.

Based purely on my observations, seems like women like Bruno Mars a lot more than men do. I have some ideas about what that means, but I don't know if any of them are especially relevant or true.

some dude: wrong on chintzy fauxtown novelty songs, wrong for america

i think your observation is that bruno mars is a pretty boy pop star who occupies the same cultural space as nearly every other pretty boy pop star in history

Anybody know about that Sesame Street jam upthread? Thanks.

I do not think that that is my observation, but thanks as always for the condescension!

just saying, "women like [male pop singer] a lot more than men do" is not a truth bomb in and of itself, especially if you're not actually going to share your promised ideas about it.

In an unstable world some dude's enduring hatred of Fuck You is something I can rely on.

i'm kind of indifferent to it, really, i just think it's hilarious that it's such an acclaimed song and love to troll people about it

lots of ilx posters basically dislike it, i think

also, america (and britain) love a lot of shitty songs

5.87: Rate Cee-Lo's "F**k You" out of ten

I loved it the first time I heard it, and so did America.
I loved it the first time I heard it, and so did America.
I loved it the first time I heard it, and so did America.
I loved it the first time I heard it, and so did America.
I loved it the first time I heard it, and so did America.
I loved it the first time I heard it, and so did America.
I loved it the first time I heard it, and so did America.
I loved it the first time I heard it, and so did America.
I loved it the first time I heard it, and so did America.
I loved it the first time I heard it, and so did America.

Why do you hate America, some dude?

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-g-HfIkCzJ7c/TeOQ_z-s0eI/AAAAAAAAFfc/_wJzb8DS-zo/s1600/statue-of-liberty-crying.jpg

not that we need to keep re-visiting this but to clarify my earlier statements in a brief and only semi-trolling way:

1 Several female people I know focus on Bruno Mars' doo-wop voice and old-school trappings (vocal harmonies, dancing, hair) and see him as more original than, say, the average person on ILX or this thread

2 I have seen people actively angry at him for these things here, don't know what's different between the way he does this and say the retro thing of Raphael Saadiq / Janelle Monae / etc.

3 People also seem hurt that he is a very successful singer and songwriter and producer; I don't care if people don't like his songs -- I obv don't mind a few of them and actively like others -- but are we really going back to days of "fuck that guy he's a sellout" or "authenticity check" or the like?

4 I would hope people (and esp that tall drink of water some dude) wd know the minor facetiousness of my earlier comment about America but I still don't know if this is actively not liking the song or passively being pissed about success of said song

5 Repeat point 4 except substitute "Bruno Mars" for "the song"

i just think it sounds super disorganized and about its own "moments" in a way that zero of your examples necessarily are

glad y'all like this song though it's pretty good!

make a brad wanna retire, man

Bruno Mars and Mark Ronson are such a natural match of tasteful retro nerds but my feelings on the song kind of split the difference between how i feel about them -- Mars has undeniable skill/star quality and has written a few hits that aren't full-on genre pastiches, but Ronson is just a well connected rich kid who'd probably be making mashups if he didn't have access to big stars to collaborate with.

It's just that those sections are particularly short. I said it was like EDM before, which is how I've mainly thought about it. That build to the drop where the horns come in - and those horns are Antibalas, right? That The Time song doesn't do the same at all.

those horns are Antibalas, right?

!!!!!

Wiki says: 'the airtight turnarounds and sharp horn lines in "Uptown Funk", courtesy of members of Antibalas and Dap Kings, didn’t come easy.'

honestly if you dont like uptown funk you prob just dont like funk, or cant bring yourself to admit that bruno mars can actually get funky in a convincing way. sure its kinda pastiche but its better than around 85% of dre3000s funk pastiches, and well funk is hard to do well in 2015 so i take my hat off to him and ronson. the first time i heard it i did think 'wow, this sounds like about 5 diff songs bolted together' but the more i hear it, i hear less joins, and just hear a superb funk record, albeit one that could have come out in 1982 and not been much different. i personally could have done without him using the b-word but thats just cos it means i cant play a song like this with my nephew. anyway, the bassline on uptown funk is more memorable than any bassline on black messiah (and i LOVE that album) in terms of retro-ish funk in 2015 (even if they are referencing quite diff periods). bruno mars actually makes me think of what van hunt would have liked to be, if van hunt didnt mind cribbing from old famous hits, and if he could write more songs that are as immediate and catchy as old famous hits.

also seeing as ronson is usually just a bit bland and tasteful (tho he has always had a good pop ear), the fact this is pretty ballsy surprised me.

i personally could have done without him using the b-word but thats just cos it means i cant play a song like this with my nephew.

can't wait for the kidzbop version, sure to be fire

i like "Uptown Funk" and think it's pretty well done, but i kinda feel like there's a fast approaching expiration date on it being enjoyable at all as it seeps into every movie trailer and completely saturates pop culture

Wow, that was a lot of negativity to sift through before I found something actually intelligent.

1 Several female people I know focus on Bruno Mars' doo-wop voice and old-school trappings (vocal harmonies, dancing, hair) and see him as more original than, say, the average person on ILX or this thread

2 I have seen people actively angry at him for these things here, don't know what's different between the way he does this and say the retro thing of Raphael Saadiq / Janelle Monae / etc.

3 People also seem hurt that he is a very successful singer and songwriter and producer; I don't care if people don't like his songs -- I obv don't mind a few of them and actively like others -- but are we really going back to days of "fuck that guy he's a sellout" or "authenticity check" or the like?

4 I would hope people (and esp that tall drink of water some dude) wd know the minor facetiousness of my earlier comment about America but I still don't know if this is actively not liking the song or passively being pissed about success of said song

5 Repeat point 4 except substitute "Bruno Mars" for "the song"
― Display Name (this cannot be changed):, Thursday, 23 February 2012 18:11 (2 years ago) Permalink

honestly if you dont like uptown funk you prob just dont like funk, or cant bring yourself to admit that bruno mars can actually get funky in a convincing way. sure its kinda pastiche but its better than around 85% of dre3000s funk pastiches, and well funk is hard to do well in 2015 so i take my hat off to him and ronson. the first time i heard it i did think 'wow, this sounds like about 5 diff songs bolted together' but the more i hear it, i hear less joins, and just hear a superb funk record, albeit one that could have come out in 1982 and not been much different. i personally could have done without him using the b-word but thats just cos it means i cant play a song like this with my nephew. anyway, the bassline on uptown funk is more memorable than any bassline on black messiah (and i LOVE that album) in terms of retro-ish funk in 2015 (even if they are referencing quite diff periods). bruno mars actually makes me think of what van hunt would have liked to be, if van hunt didnt mind cribbing from old famous hits, and if he could write more songs that are as immediate and catchy as old famous hits.
― StillAdvance, Sunday, 18 January 2015 11:23 (2 days ago) Permalink

i like "Uptown Funk" and think it's pretty well done, but i kinda feel like there's a fast approaching expiration date on it being enjoyable at all as it seeps into every movie trailer and completely saturates pop culture

― some dude, Sunday, 18 January 2015 13:54 (2 days ago) Permalink

Bruno Mars is a talented songwriter (if you don't agree then just admit you don't like pop and be okay with it, it's really not a big deal) and an impressive fucking performer (e.g. Superbowl Halftime 2014, he fucking killed it--that's when I knew he was going to really do something big in his career, don't believe me, just watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2i0Bc3f7jk)

See what I did there? Lol I'll stop

i also love the trinidad james thing
― J0rdan S., Wednesday, December 17, 2014 5:06 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha i was about to say that's the worst part
― christmas with the canks (some dude), Wednesday, December 17, 2014 7:44 PM (1 month ago) Bookmark

it bothers me. doesn't look like james received any credit either.

That's ridiculous. Funk music owes it's life to James Brown. You can't bag on Bruno Mars just for being influenced by James Brown and if he wants to mirror his performances after James Brown performances I don't think that's the worst thing in the world. James Brown put on a damn good show. If music isn't supposed to live on in other musicians then tell Kevin Parker he'll never be John Lennon... he hasn't figured it out yet.

.....

Bruno Mars is a talented songwriter (if you don't agree then just admit you don't like pop and be okay with it, it's really not a big deal)

hahahaha fuck off m8

"the worst of these are seriously some of the most atrocious songs of my lifetime"

This resonates. "the Lazy Song", "When I Was Your Man", "Just The Way You Are", "Marry You", "Billionaire" - this is a trail of devastation with few parallels. Mars does actually remind me a bit of Billy Joel, in that he tends to write the kind of songs that one could imagine a really irritatingly precocious 10 year old coming up with and being really pleased with.

is sassarfrasco not only getting trinidad james mixed up with james brown, but mystikal mixed up with bruno mars?

xp to the guy upthread who doesn't like the "language in Uptown Funk: the radio edit says "trick" instead of "bitch" so you can play that version for your nephew (although is a prostitution reference any better than a common meaningless swear word, despite the former somehow being less explicit in our culture?)

IMO Uptown Funk is a bit too knowing for me to enjoy it unconditionally, but it is damn catchy. But the firs time I heard it I was in the car with my mom and she went "ooh I like this, this sounds so 70s" and to me it sounds like thats exactly what Mars and Ronson wanted. I like throwbacks, but such self-conscious, purposeful, targeted throwbacks leave a bad taste in my mouth.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2015/01/13/uptown_funk_mark_ronson_and_bruno_mars_hit_no_1_on_the_billboard_chart_why.html

That article has more hotlinks than a wikipedia page, wtf

http://f.cl.ly/items/3D2S2i3U2T402p12470T/slate_article.png

http://f.cl.ly/items/0s440i0o3Y113R1z3Z3o/youtube.png

http://f.cl.ly/items/121J3z011k3P2K3z2c3O/itunes.png

http://f.cl.ly/items/2N1E3C2C2f0B0j1k2q0a/spotify.png

lol

lmao

went to Burger King for once and "Grenade" comes on. I like Bruno Mars plenty, whether it's his traditional pop, or 80s throwback funk, but I've always hated this song. but today I figured out why I hate it so much - it's like a middle school love letter that describes all of the sucky things someone would do for the person they loved, and sticking to one rhyme.

I would catch a grenade for ya
I would injure Dwyane Wade for ya
I would talk like Sling Blade for ya
I would buy a Kincaid for ya
I would get shitty grades for ya
I'd subscribe to Parade for ya
I'd lose on Nick Arcade for ya