❀ the cult of: ➥motivational speakers ➥life coaches ➥personal growth gurus ➥new-age charlatans ➥AWESOMENESS FEST

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fucking emoto man

i have friends that have been insisting since 2005 or so that they can "break clouds with their minds"

you just have to get in touch with your inner cloud

*my ex-gf was a yoga instructor and kind of sucked up a lot of fringe new-age stuff as a result

Hey now! There's definitely overlap between "people who teach yoga" and "people who suck up fringe new age stuff" but correlation /= causation.

yes sorry didnt mean to imply that

ps namaste!

everyone gets sensitive when their particular cult is impugned

tbh the better ones have hats and not mats

http://icons.iconarchive.com/icons/rob-sanders/hat/256/Hat-fez-icon.png

oh, i'm mostly just super-grumpy about the "What the #$*!" crowd and wish they would all go do Nia or Trance Dance or something and leave yoga alone aleready :D

but who would do yoga then

Mordy you're stepping on my "organized religion is a cult"

http://cdn2-b.examiner.com/sites/default/files/styles/image_full_width/hash/1e/db/1edb620bb97fd86f4d004ae525a0ee79.jpg

http://www.houstontexans.com/assets/images/imported/HOU/photos/In_Story_Photos_400_190/400-foster-bow.jpg

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so just nfl players

Mordy you're stepping on my "organized religion is a cult"

― valleys of your mind (mh)

Well that's completely wrong so people should step all over it.

Big organized religions = "Ecclesiastical cults" officially in all of social science. So I guess maybe you're both right.

But 'cult' doesn't really mean anything like the popular definition in religious studies.

I think it's pretty obvious that cult on ilx just means, "shit that is weird."

sorry: "shit that is weird that involves groups of people"

trying to be technical + specific here

well yeah, I was being comically biased against all organized religion, whether it's millions or just five people and a guru. sorry, not religion, self-realization corporate strategy in the latter case, here

picture of a fez totally otm, though

awesomeness fest would be pretty awesome if they were all just unironically wearing fez

Namaste!!!

This positivity stuff needs to be a bit edgier, but that would require a level of darkness and cynicism. I am trying to think of how to make this gothier.

p sure the goth side of this is wiccan/pagan ppl

You are absolutely correct.

i could be wrong but p sure wiccan/pagans arent monetizing on the level these ppl are... maybe there's an opportunity here...

ren faires

nah ren faires are just like norms going to yoga class

maybe not on the same level but i think there's plenty of wiccan/pagan monetization going on. like who owns all those stores that sell giant pewter dragons holding crystal balls and like tarot cards you can buy featuring members of popular 80s band tears for fears as the tower the jester the prince the hot topic merchant etc

yeah def but thats at least like, a rad sculpture of a dragon you can put on a shelf and look at, which is 100% more valuable than mp3s of a guy telling you to unlock your mind

Vampire wannabes totally have a built-in pyramid scheme.

OTM xp

Yeah all the neopagans/earth-based spiritual people I've met tend to spend their money on like ritual stuff like ceremonial daggers and goblets. At least all the Pagan-centered new age stores I've been are heavy on what could be considered LARPer gear and very light on empty vagueness.

Can you tell me more AP?

Is it blood-based? Top sellers get the best blood?

xxxpost. definitely some commoditizing with the wiccan-pagan thing. my first girlfriend, her mom was a crystal therapist / astrologer with a backpage column in the local new age magazine. went to some new age fest out in PA with them and it was this conference of all sorts of bizarre businesses selling their shit... kirlian photography, crystals, indian feathers, etc. don't remember too much else, but it was pretty big.

at the end of it all everyone went out into a field, formed a huge circle, and we all held hands while a drum circle played in the center. some guy talked about how all our energies were connected and some bullcrap about mother earth. got bonus points from the mother for not laughing at everyone.

um it takes a vampire to make a vampire, I think that is the pyramid reference

LOL duh, my brain isn't all here right now.

blood kickbacks up the MLM ladder

which is 100% more valuable than mp3s of a guy telling you to unlock your mind

Ye of little faith (unless it's an iTunes mp3)

this seems like a good place to mention that we were touring the east coast earlier this year and we were stationed at a tiny Red Roof Inn or Holiday Inn Express or something - some unrenovated turnpike hotel, totally inconspicuous and unremarkable except for the brochures on a table just past the checkin and a sign saying WELCOME FREE YOUR MIND CONFERENCE. I practically lost my mind: we're accidentally checked into the place where this shit's going down? But it was, like, an ancillary local version of the big conference - just some people in sweaters with, like, airbrushed wolves hanging out and sorta meeting up to talk about shared conceptions of the universe.

still though the bios of the presenters in the brochure were some of the craziest weirdest shit I've ever read, and the conference's theme song will be in my head forever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stZBOhfJ294

WELCOME FREE YOUR MIND CONFERENCE. I practically lost my mind
WELCOME FREE YOUR MIND CONFERENCE. I practically lost my mind
WELCOME FREE YOUR MIND CONFERENCE. I practically lost my mind
WELCOME FREE YOUR MIND CONFERENCE. I practically lost my mind
WELCOME FREE YOUR MIND CONFERENCE. I practically lost my mind
WELCOME FREE YOUR MIND CONFERENCE. I practically lost my mind
WELCOME FREE YOUR MIND CONFERENCE. I practically lost my mind
WELCOME FREE YOUR MIND CONFERENCE. I practically lost my mind
WELCOME FREE YOUR MIND CONFERENCE. I practically lost my mind
WELCOME FREE YOUR MIND CONFERENCE. I practically lost my mind
WELCOME FREE YOUR MIND CONFERENCE. I practically lost my mind
WELCOME FREE YOUR MIND CONFERENCE. I practically lost my mind

an example of the speakers chosen at random, first dude on the list at the conference's website

Aaron McCollum was born in a small town in California. From the time he was 3 years old his life was anything but normal. He was first evaluated and accepted into Project Talent for the 3rd generation Super Soldier program.

As a child, he was subjected to various testing and experiments to prepare him for what was to come. At the age of 5, he underwent his first "Alter" split. This was done through various techniques of electro-shock, water boarding, psychotropic drugs and even dark rituals through the Catholic Church. His training was extensive, and involved things such as survival training, pain tolerance, weapons, hand-to-hand combat and much more.

At 16, he received his first assignment, in which he was to be brought into the military under the U.S. Coast Guard. From there, as in his childhood, he had most of his memory blocked due to all he was a part of. He was a Black Operations operative for many missions throughout the world. He was also stationed at, at least, two underground facilities that he remembers, one in California, and an Underwater facility off the West Coast of Puerto Rico in the Caribbean. This Caribbean facility is what he had been raised for. The base is referred to as PROSEA, short for Project Seagate. The base conducts many sub-projects, from interstellar travel, to Time Travel, to Human Hybrid generation.

http://www.freeyourmindconference.com/images/stories/fym/aaron-mccollum.jpg

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dudes I know I was like WE LANDED AT THIS HOTEL RANDOMLY? I WIN. I FUCKING WIN

Pretty amazing.

what an incredible life that guy has lived