Aldo reads DC's New 52 (So you don't have to)

No no, fuck the boring Legion is about right.

JERRY SIEGEL! KEITH GIFFEN!

To be fair, I haven't read "the good" Legion stuff, it's just they're so shiny and plastic and camp and 1950s-Jetsons-future and dull and dated and stupid that every time they appear in something I actually like my heart sinks. specially when that something, like Action 6, is reduced to gibberish by my lack of assumed knowledge.

ACTION is just not doing much for me. And I was as big a booster of ALL-STAR as you could get. There have been one or two neat things per issue (which, granted, is better than most of the Big Two line). But this feels like coming back to leftovers. It's just not feeling very inspired, and I'm also getting the feeling that like with FINAL CRISIS, I'm reading about half of what could be a good comic, like every other page or something.

with Morrison not even wanting to write this two-ish fill-in, it's no wonder it's falling so drastically flat. having to have Kubert Minor on it can't help. (I've not even bothered to go and get #6, I'll pick it up when #7 or the next Batwoman or Snarked come out)

since he was only committed for 6 issues to begin with, we should be finding out any week now if he's on past #8. if so and it stays $3.99 for 20pp I'm probably bailing.

ACTION is just not doing much for me. And I was as big a booster of ALL-STAR as you could get.

Very much so. ALL-STAR was sooooooo good. This has had some fun ideas, but it's really a bit of a mess.

What would have been good would have been to somehow have the All-Star Superman as the new 52 version. Then if Morrison still had Superman stories to tell, he could have done it as a vol 2

I tend to forgive GM's messiness, because he usually finds a way to tie all his multiple narratives together -- albeit sometimes only several years later -- in a way that retroactively justifies all yr efforts.

But yeah, this, with the random story switcheroos and shitty backups, feels properly messy in a non-redemptive way.

THE LIEFELD LINE-UP!

Universally reviled hack Frank Tieri to script Liefeld's GRIFTER! Writer of Rob Liefeld's Avengelyne and Rob Liefeld's Brigade to script Liefeld's THE UNPLEASANT HAWKMAN! Absolutely EVERYBODY GETS A SWORD!!!

http://www.blogcdn.com/www.comicsalliance.com/media/2012/02/liefeldlineup.jpg

ok Oprah

haven't been following Green Lantern over the last five years, can someone tell me why Hal Jordan is wearing a tie?
http://www.newsarama.com/php/multimedia/album_view.php?gid=4012&page=3

That is some dull as dishwater art.

Don't know about the tie, but I see he got the Bomber Jacket memo.

Hal Jordan, protector of thieves.

wait how did I not hear about him taking over Grifter

maybe I just blocked that from my memory

well, at least it reflects how dull hal jordan is

I have been reading Green Lantern comics for 30+ years and I've never seen him wear a tie. I can't tell if the takeaway from the fight scene is that Hal Jordan wears a clip-on or that he wears cheap, easily ripped ties. Anyway, glad to see a fresh take on the character.

The script is predictably terrib, but that's the best (or at least most modern-looking) art I've seen in a DC comic for a while.

yehwha? It looks like something you'd seen in an Avatar comic.

yeah, when I saw it I thought "god this artwork is bad even for DC" (kinda sub-sub-sub steve mcniven, based on that sample)

it was fairly appalling iirc but I don't want to click again

RIGHT OF REPLY!

Scott McDaniel vigorously defends himself against John Rozum's claims that Rozum had no input on Static Shock and the book was subject to idiotic, action-driven editorial over-control... by spending 15,555 words detailing how the editor gave Rozum no input on the book, and insisted on idiotic action being piled into it while multiple levels of higher-up perused every detail of story submissions.

Also resoundingly proves by example what a drastically incompetent writer he is. Also cites God repeatedly, and goes on about NASCAR and NFL on separate occasions for some reason. Also quotes chunks of Rozum's scripts, and reacts to each by saying "This is totally interesting and reads like John Rozum, but it's not BADASS!" Literally has no idea what "literally" means.

Amusingly, the comments are mostly ppl going "fyi dude you sound like a total dickbag in this scenario."

Wow, he really does. I think he needs more WORDS that are CAPITALIZED to really make his POINT though.

Dude seems completely insane

Travel Foreman is done as the artist of Animal Man. However, it was not because of DC. His statement (from CBR forums via Jeff Lemire's twitter):

"I just want to chime in briefly, because everyone here has been so supportive of the book and because there's so much behind the scenes stuff that goes on with these books... I read a lot of comics and I too get confused about whats going on in some books and ultimately feel like we're getting a raw deal sometimes.

The change on Animal Man boils down to the reason I was on the book to begin with, which was that I needed to take on a job after my mother died (to deal with the financial end of someone being sick for a while and then passing) and Animal Man was the only thing DC was going to let me do. Which in any other time frame would have been perfect.
But really the context of me dealing with the death of my mom and drawing the kind of content in Animal Man just burned me out sooner than I thought.

I had hoped to stay on the book until at least the spring so that the artist I wanted to replace me was free from his commitments, but I would have ultimately just dragged the book down if I did, because it was becoming harder and harder to concentrate on the work.

Steve was bending over backwards on his fill-ins to keep the book on schedule so you have to keep that in consideration. Really, he won't skip a beat once he's doing the book full time.

Thanks, everyone."

UPDATE!
while Delano-era Animal Man artist Steve Pugh is the permanent replacement for Travel Foreman on ANIMAL MAN, as noted above, Foreman is now drawing BIRDS OF PREY ongoing from #9. Let's see if he lasts more than one issue!

UPDATE!
Birds Of Prey artist Jesus Saiz, already been filled-in-for once, having one unpublished fill-in by Perez banked, and having been booted and reinstated once, now moves to RESURRECTION MAN due to being bumped by Foreman.

UPDATE!
Resurrection Man artist Fernando Dagnino is bumped by Saiz, while Resurrection Man is crossing over with Suicide Squad, to SUICIDE SQUAD.

FILL-IN-YOUR-OWN-UPDATE:
Since there were already FIVE artists on Suicide Squad in the first six issues, I have no fucking idea who was drawing Suicide Squad now and where they're going.

UPDATE!
Paul Jenkins dropped as writer on DAVID FINCH'S THE DARK KNIGHT BY DAVID FINCH VOLUME 2 from #9, Penguin: Pain & Prejudice writer Gregg Hurwitz to take over.

UPDATE!
- Jim Lee and Dan Didio launch the new 52 by stating that late books will absolutely positively not be tolerated under any circumstances, that monthly timeliness is an iron-clad guarantee.
- retailers notice that JUSTICE LEAGUE #5 by Jim Lee is not on shipping lists for its scheduled shipping date, raise this issue on internets.
- DC PR officially reassure readers and customers that: “We can confirm that Justice League #5 from @jimlee and @geoffjohns is indeed hitting shelves next week.”
- DC PR, hours later, tell you you were confused. Or they were confused. Or something: “Sorry for the confusion: Justice League 5 will hit shelves on January 25th.”

FURTHER UPDATE!
- guess what! the second (of two total, ever, for the whole future) allowed late book of The New 52 will be Co-Publisher & Executive Muckamuck Jim Lee's JUSTICE LEAGUE #6, currently scheduled to ship two weeks late, on February 29th.
- since everything in the New 52 is on an immovable iron-clad "100% delivery" schedule, and this is the fifth Wednesday of the month, I'm inferring that this means DC are paying an entire week's shipping for ONE SINGLE FLOPPY, maybe?

STUNNING TWIST UPDATE!
- Grand High Poobah and Executive Example-Setter Jim Lee will be absent from JUSTICE LEAGUE #7, to be drawn by Gene Ha instead.

UNPREDICTABLE ASTOUNDING UPDATE!
- Elevated Poobah and Example-Setter-In-Chief Jim Lee will be absent from JUSTICE LEAGUE #8, to be drawn by Carlos D'Anda instead.

PREVIOUSLY, ON ACTION UPDATE!
After drawing all 2/3rds of the solicited Action Comics that was actually published, as already noted, Rags Morales got a bit tuckered out and only managed to draw a little over 1/3 of the solicited pages on issues 2-4, with fill-in artists doing 1/6th of the pages and Nobody At All doing 1/6th on 2-3, fill-in Gene Ha doing 1/6th on #4, and a shithouse backup team pumping out a useless turd that lessens the main story doing another 1/6th.
Then due to Morales continuing exhaustion, the storyline was put on pause for two issues while Morrison was forced to write his own fill-in for issues 5 and 6.
When we left off, Morales was returning to do the proper #5-6 as #7-8, ending Morrison's initial 6-issue run on the title, at which point the series was meant to catch up to the timeframe of The Rest Of The New 52 Except Demon Knights And Justice League.

SURPRISE FURTHER ACTION UPDATES!
- Morrison is staying on for at least one issue!
- Morales has quite probably finished those two consecutive issues - his first in the entire ten-issue run of the book - as the poor wee lamb has collapsed in a fever of overwork again and won't be drawing #9.
- ACTION COMICS #9 is another exciting fill-in issue! This time by Grant Morrison and Gene Ha, with the adventures of a parallel universe Superman fighting another, different parallel universe Superman!
- and a sodding backup by cunting Solly Fhisch, with a different adventure of the same parallel universe Superman.

- Morales will be back for #10. No word on whether Morrison will be, or if we will now be at the story point that #7 was originally meant to be.

- I remind you that the FLAGSHIP TITLE OF THE ENTIRE DC LINE has now managed THREE OUT OF NINE issues to be unplanned fill-in stories, and exactly ZERO (0) issues out of nine to be the originally-intended-or-announced number of pages or artist.

ha, i am SURE these updates are more fun to read than the actual comics.

I kinda like Carlos D'Anda, but he's no Gene Ha, who's no Jim Lee himself.

ha, i am SURE these updates are more fun to read than the actual comics.

co-sign

I'd rank the four new 52 books I'm reading like this:

Justice League Dark
Voodoo
Grifter
Justice League

JLD is legitimately WEIRD/disorienting and I think the only actual likeable character in it is Zatanna

:( Now I think Batwoman is losing me.

For a female artist, Amy Reeder sure does indulge in the "costume so skintight you can see her navel and nipples" cliche a surprising amount

yeah, the whole "Wow, I hate everyone in this book" was the only thing of interest in JLD.

Of course, the first BULLETPROOF COFFIN smoked the whole run of that book in its grave, so I know where I'm throwing my money.

oh wait Greg Capullo is drawing the Snyder Batman? stop trying to trick us by leaving credits off, aldo

It was Capullo's idea in issue 5 to utilize a page-turning effect where the reader felt the same psychological breakdown as Bruce Wayne. (He admits he had to remind his rock-star buddy, Chris Daughtry, that iPads have a lock button when the pages kept flipping around on him.)

it is pretty lol how completely obvious Bob Harras being a nu-52 editor is becoming, with all the 90s Marvel hasbeens washing up upon DC 2012's shores.

UPDATE!
Did you find it too easy to follow stories in the nu-DC with everything having a clear start point and not crossing over with everything else for about five months? Well, breathe easy, as superstar script-genius HOWARD MACKIE comes to DC with a thrilling new teenage super-team book, spinning off out of a crossover between Superboy, Teen Titans, and coming to the 20th Century for I guess the third time in as many months, whatever remnants of the LSH are in Legion Lost! Prepare yourself for the teen-friendly teen adventures of the amiably-titled THE RAVAGERS!

A teenage girl pictured at front by Ian Churchill.

http://robot6.comicbookresources.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Ravagers_1_as90d8f7asdjhl.jpg

Oh, are they finally bringing back Fairchild?

Oh man, I hope they show her origin as awesomely as it was in the 90s, including her oversized librarian glasses

Ha called it! Not that it's difficult, really; even in the world of comics she has a pretty distinctive look.

Ppl unfamiliar with the character will be thrilled to know that her being a ridiculously busty teenager is actually a plot point in her backstory and tied to how she got her powers. Not kidding.

oh lol one of those is supposed to be Warblade???? Maybe the giant lizard dude?

(Wiki sez:) Rewritten by Gail Simone to be part of an actual attempt to make a hotttt Gen-Active teen.

Cailtin retains her notable traits of intelligence and attractiveness but is continually suspicious and unhappy about her appearance, given the prurient nature of her creators

I am hoping her 'creators' are Jim Choi and Brandon Lee.

Batgirl #6: WELL OF COURSE BRUCE DOESN'T KILL BABS. With that out of the way, it's difficult to know what else to say about this book since it doesn't actually say anything. We find out how the latest superbaddie got her hypnotic powers and My Two Bats talk her out of fighting, but the story ends with us knowing nothing about her motivation, or why she targeted Bruce, or what she was hoping to get out of anything she was doing. Other than 'rich white men are bad'. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't hoped for a bit more. Still we find out that Babs' mum likes to bake a lot of cakes. YEAH! DEFEAT THAT GENDER STEREOTYPING MYTH! RIGHT ON SISTAH!

Batman & Robin #6: TEARS OF A ROBIN! It turns out Damian was just playing along the whole time so that Bruce can turn up and beat the crap out of the bad guy. Rolo Tomassi does a solid job on it but it's never actually exciting and is, dare I say it, predictable throughout. Except maybe THE SON OF TALIA CRYING because he loves his daddy too much. Hurrrm.

Batwoman #6: Umm. This sucks. JH Williams, your strengths are art over writing. Your writing is OK, all right, but start drawing again please. Let's just pretend this issue never happened.

Demon Knights #6: Put simply, nothing happens this month as it's all just set-up for the next issue in which (presumably) there's going to be a big FITE. That's all very well, but it means nothing has really happened in ANY of the first four of the books I paid for this week. Which doesn't make it look like very good VFM now, does it, eh DiDio? You won't get people continuing to spend money this way, you know.*

*This may be a lie and I will keep on buying books from DC. So sue me.

Frankenstein #6: Ah, NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE. If you make all the other books suck this week then Frankenstein will look good in comparison and people will like it. I mean, seriously? This has an entire sequence that steals wholesale from Watchmen as it tells the story of Frankie and "Colonel Quantum" in Vietnam. And that's the best part of the book by some way. I don't know why I'm buying this.

Legion Lost #6: "SPEW TEETH, NOT DOGMA!" Obviously no book can recover from opening dialogue as good as that, and this is no exception but it has a brave go and gets most of the way there. After a fair bit of exposition and a lot of help from the Martian Manhunter (with some ridiculous 80s casual racism along the way - I mean really? The best way you can choose to refer to a black guy is "Lenny Kravitz"?) the Legion realise the whole truth about how desperate their situation is and get back to where they were at the very beginning of #1. Hooray! Next plot please (although this is going to get such into the clusterfuck-in-waiting that is The Ravagers, so I reckon it's doomed).

Suicide Squad #6: oh FFS. How could adding Lime & Light from Nu Green Arrow make anything BETTER? Hopefully it telegraphs who dies. Apart from that, this issue is kind of disappointing as it exists to flesh out Nu Harley Quinn and explore her relationship with Nu Joker who may or may not or might or might not be dead or alive or skinless. It's kind of annoying that after 6 months we still haven't resolved this if I'm honest but I guess they're waiting for the Owls to clear out of the batbooks first? Not awful, but doesn't really stand out from anything else, I suppose.

The plan for Batwoman has always, for two years or w/e, been five issues of JHW3, five of Reeder. That said I read it today and the two inkers are TERRIBLE and almost certainly a dastardly plan by Didio to force a chick off his awesome book about an asskicking lesbian

Deathstroke #6: WHAT? I'm going to make a bold statement here - Rob Liefeld will not make this book worse. I'm prepared for you all to hold me to this as well. Some people grimace at each other, there are lots of daddy issues and it ends with a big knife and a grin. NOTHING of substance happens. BRING ON THE NEW CREATIVE DIRECTION.

Green Lantern #6: Book Of The Black. Indigo Tribe. Beige Bastards. Pink Puritans. League of Lilac.* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I AM AS GOOD AS YOU, GEOFF JOHNS. How is it possible to actually think this is any good? Hal decides he doesn't want to be GL, having spent the previous 5 issues going on about how he does. Sinestro decides Hal is his secret love after all, and not the fuckbuddy he's shacked up with to replace him, because a woman in Vampirella's costume tells him so. What utter rubbish.

*I have not made all of these up.

Grifter #6: Just fuck off, right? Some of us didn't read all of the Wildstorm and 1) don't care about Daemonites and 2) want/need to know a bit more than OOOOH THESES ARE BAD BAD VERY POWERFUL BAD GUYS. But why do that when you can have unexplained people shouting unexplained things at unexplained monsters, right? The Wildstorm stuff might end with this issue, I think. Liefeld is probably round the corner, that's why.

Mister Terrific #6: This starts with a fight because of a Starbucks opening (with Michael defending Capitalism's right to do what it likes) which concludes with him throwing an icicle through someone's head because he doesn't speak English good like what an American do. He then kills someone by throwing them in lukewarm water, and saves himself by plunging into cold water and letting himself turn into a block of ice because everybody knows that's how you stop freezing to death. Cancelled, you say? Surely not!

Resurrection Man #6: Showing how much of an impact the previous issue must have had on me, I am surprised this issue takes place in Arkham Asylum. In short, Mitch dies and this gets him out. But, much like this book, it/he keeps on coming back even when everybody is hoping it's over. Just think, more people buy this than OMAC.

Superboy #6: Superboy, fresh from headbutting the sparkly Titan in the other book, has a fight with Supergirl and her giant vagina cover which mainly takes place in space. He mopes around for a bit, wishes a helicopter was somewhere else, then goes home to fight with his mum. Part of me wishes the book was as good as that sounds.

Batman #6 PENCILLED BY GREG CAPULLO: In which Scott Snyder writes an end to the claustrophobia of the Owl's chambers while setting up the Owl Wars plot. Inevitably, this isn't as good as last month but that's probably because not much is. It's not that much worse though and I'd rather read this than anything from last week. Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? Wait, that's a different book. Can Batman swim? That's what the kids all need to know.

DCU Presents #6: In which Challengers of the Unknown is reinvented as a reality show like IACGMOOH only in the Himalayas instead of Australia. It threatens to turn into Crossed at one point, and at that moment I realise I would rather be reading Crossed instead. One of the characters thinks he might be in a remake of L O S T by mistake and I secretly wish for DON'T PUDDING SPAZ to telepathically come out of one of their mouths. But no such luck. They escape from a Kirbyesque living rock monster by stabbing it with their Badge For Mathematical Excellence and fly off in a broken helicopter. Crossed Bloke might be back next week. So might a plot. So might I.

LoSH #6: Another month with more sub-plots than a soap opera and it's beginning to get a little wearying. I guess it would be nice to see either the Dragonwing plot or the Dominators plot take centre stage and effectively BE the book for a few months rather than try to maintain interest in EVERYBODY ALL THE TIME. Oh well. Still fun nevertheless.

Nightwing #6: DO NOT WANT. This is sort of a nothing issue, with everybody celebrating the anniversary of Dick's parents dying, Alfred dropping in because he's bored as Bats is missing (making this two months ago, or something) and ending with a villain reveal and an explosion. Near the beginning there is some dialogue which says "Different month, different city. Still the same story." If Kyle Higgins isn't careful that'll be this book's epitaph.

Supergirl #6: Supergirl eventually stops being pinned to the wall by her hair when the ghosts of her parents convince her that she's strong enough to pull the sword from the stone, then she heads back 'home' to Earth to stop the nasty alium from destroying New York, starting with the Washington Square Arch (presumably because it's picturesque). The same New York which is still the inevitable location for every proper Irish citizen as it's their destiny to emigrate there according to the script - although that also has the blooper of taking somebody's picture for them, and your own picture WITH THE SAME CAMERA. It's getting wearying reading this if I'm honest.

Wonder Woman #6: Oh come on, this is great. It's like a pre-code Vertigo book, all big eyes and four colours, and giant sea creatures and wax-headed boys and... and... and... and... and... I could go on listing why you should read this, but just know that you should.

Birds of Prey #6: Setup, setup, setup, setup, setup. And yet very little content. So it seems everybody in the world is under the influence of Choke but Dinah Explains It All is promised for next month for the who and why. Just as well because this has been a mystery (and a pretty dull one at that) looking for resolution for 6 months now and I'm getting a bit sick of it.

Blue Beetle #6: Jaime beats Darth Maul by admitting he gets bullied at school, then slaps a woman around for fun. At the end it's revealed that only three days have passed since the beginning of issue 1. How's that coherent Johnsiverse working out for you all? This really is a pretty dreadful title, it spends more time trying to prove it's an authentic teen book, or an authentic Hispanic book, than telling a story about A Bad Evil From The Beginning Of Time And More Powerful Than Everything Even The Wee Blue Guys (tm Geoff Johns) and that's why this is cancellation-bound - it fails to do anything that a hero book should. Awful.

Captain Atom #6: Never lose sight of the following statement: JT KRUL GETS PAID TO DO THIS. Anyway, Captain A gets rid of the thread from the previous issues in a single page by thinking about it, grows a woman a new hand and on the final page appears to blow up the Earth in 20 years time. Although since we don't know when the book is set (since the rules that were supposed to be in place for the reboot have been thrown away) this means nothing and could be next week. NEXT ISSUE = AN ORIGIN STORY. Because that always makes things better, doesn't it.

Catwoman #6: Is this a torture porn book or what? Ears are bitten off, women are beaten half to death by other women, and choken while spreadeagled against a wall. Batman admits he doesn't get Catwoman arrested because she pays him in Sex Dollars and Selina shows somebody her real identity while waiting to watch her go to the toilet. After the rehabilitation of Red Hood, this is far and away the most offensive book in the Johnsiverse and shows no signs of changing. A refrigerator can't be far away, surely.

Green Lantern Corps #6: Um, what? John Stewart kills his mate by breaking his neck rather than let him reveal any of the Wee Blue Guys' secrets? WHAT A HERO. Then Guy Gardner turns up with guns and shoots everyone (out of kindness obviously, because that's what heroes do) before dropping two of the Sinstro Corps on anyone left alive (killing them in the process). All because nobody likes the Space Farmers. This attritional warfare is actually kind of dull, at the end of the day, and I don't know where the book can go from here because everyone in it is a cnut. WELCOME TO THE JOHNSIVERSE.

Red Hood #6: OH GOOD, A FLASHBACK ORIGIN ISSUE. It's not great. In fact, it's barely adequate. It turns out Starfire saved Jason from near certain death. She nurses him back to health and then replaces his leaf speedos with some clothes, during which it APPEARS to be acknowledged she lived pre-Johnsiverse and met Nightwang there. GET OUT OF THAT ONE DIDIO. Still the best book I'm not buying though.

Wonder Woman #6: Oh come on, this is great. It's like a pre-code Vertigo book, all big eyes and four colours, and giant sea creatures and wax-headed boys and... and... and... and... and... I could go on listing why you should read this, but just know that you should.

Yeah, it's actually really good--although the fill-in atist on #6 made a couple of plot points a bit hard to work out--what happened to Hera, exactly?

Aldo's recaps really are way more fun than almost any of the nu52 books

Still want to know if you write/blog elsewhere, Mr Aldo

Hera just got stunned by Diana's awesomeness and got turned into PAUSE

OH WAIT

WHUT

DIANT IS AWESUM

BETTER DISAPPEAR

or something like that.

No, I do not write anywhere else. I am sooooooooo lazy that I don't bother.

I know I should consider alternative versions of that universe.

All Star Western #6: The Arkham story wraps up nicely, with Hex pursuing the bad guy (who, in a SHOCKING TWIST, turned out to be the father of the missing boy from the beginning, although he wasn't actually missing after all) and delivers a clear and concise version of Nu52 Bat-history in the process. I expect to see a lot of hackneyed Nawlins accents next month, but hey ho. Still not feeling this Barbary Ghost backup story, but it's over for now, so whatevs. This is going to be one of the second wave of cancellations though, I have no doubt. It flirted with it continually while it was a Jonah Hex book and although it's doing well, it only has good numbers in relation to the other books being published. Cancel the worse sellers and pretty soon it's the book making the least money.

Aquaman #6: Mera! Feminist hero of the ages! I mean, it happens to us all, doesn't it? You go out to buy dog food and break a crepey guy's arm in the store, then surrender to the police so you can suck the water out of a murderer's body and make his daughter cry. And then you get home to feed the pooch and your fella tells you his mate's found out who sunk Atlantis. It's just an everyday story of everyday things happening to everyday people. Get one imagination, Geoff Johns! I thought this was supposed to be heroic fiction? Actually, the most confusing bits are the flashbacks to Mera and her dad fighting about killing Aquaman because you can't actually work out properly when they're supposed to take place - the earliest ones could almost have passed for off-camera plot - but if you can make nice water sculptures to impress girls and get free groceries then none of that matters, I guess.

Batman The Dark Knight #6: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It was Bane all along... but wait. References to Knightfall? So that's in the Johnsiverse? I'll tell you what then, that was a packed 6 years. I thought that was the point of the whole reboot, to delete awkward continuity and start again from scratch? In other news, the White Rabbit is clearly only for T&A shots and sexy flirting and is explained away as a sub-Harley fantasist. I don't know why I expect more from a character who runs about in a white corset and pink panties, but I did.

I, Vampire #6: That's right, KILL THE LEAD CHARACTER. It still kind of makes no sense that this book is in the mainstream Johnsiverse as Gotham is now overflowing with vampires and corpses that don't appear in, say, Birds of Prey. Apparently Zatanna is going to sort it all out next month, but I think this could be where I bail. The art just isn't enough for me any more. It keeps trying to hold on to being a main universe book and it just doesn't work.

Justice League Dark #6: Well, that's 10 minutes I'll never get back. In this utterly pointless waste of paper and ink, the characters from the first issues all meet up and their mutual loathing of each other makes the M Vest animate some dead skin, or something, and wreck Madame Xanadu's house. She takes this surprisingly well, then gets a nosebleed because the guy from I, Vampire is dead. And that's about it. Deadman resists raping the prone figure of Dove in his dream, which he seems to want some kind of credit for. Can I have my money back?

Savage Hawkman #6: Ah, the MORTIS ORB. Of course. How stupid of me. I'm doubly confused, because I stopped buying this but it ended up in my LCS folder this week and I'd paid for it and taken it home before I noticed. After the Gentleman Ghost looked good last month, he looks crap this month. Corpses, corpses and more corpses and next month Hawkman vs Zombies. I sort of hope it will just rip off a desktop tower defence game. Then THE LIEFELDENING!

Superman #6: Oh good, this takes place after next month's Supergirl and refers to it. Yes, the one that isn't published yet. Oh, and also after Action #7, which is still two weeks away. Anyway, nobody likes Superman because he's beating up Supergirl then Superman turns up and takes away Superman so he can fight him in space because he's read Action #7. I hope this makes sense next month, but then that relies on it staying in my head until then. Even Superman doesn't know and says so near the end. People other than me buy this shit? Really?

LIEFELDÄMMERUNG can't come soon enough for the whole Nu-52.

Yeah, I kind of think he should just offer Time Warner $500 for the whole DC property and make it a vanity project for himself.

Instead of a "pocket universe" his could be in a pouch.

Yeah, like he'd only have one pouch.