Nult satis nisi optimum: Phil McNulty 2011/12

hierarchies will be observed even in salford quays more lively quaffingplaces

The Stamford Bridge surface shows no signs of the heavy weather around London as Manchester United prepare their response to Manchester City's three-point lead at the top of the Premier League when they face Chelsea.

HHhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggg

Many would have paid more than a penny for the thoughts of Villas-Boas if he was watching this game while the wounds heal from his sacking. He may have wondered how he could have failed so spectacularly to coax a performance on this scale from Chelsea during his nine months at the club.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/philmcnulty/2012/03/abramovich_basks_in_chelsea_vi.html

that first sentence is a work of art

the portuguese was literally stigmatized

Getting a bodysnatchers avec nult vibe from the lanchester thread? im scared to go outside now*

*not really

BBC Sport Chief Football Writer Phil McNulty at the DW Stadium

"Expect scenes of verbal carnage in the Manchester United dressing room at half-time. Sir Alex Ferguson literally hopping mad on occasions. Wigan excellent so far and furious with the decision to disallow Victor Moses' goal."

from twitter. "Nani on for Rooney. Rooney been poor tonight - but little handshake with Ferguson as he goes to the dug out." little handshake?

http://i.imgur.com/WeXpg.jpg

OK, this is neither Nult nor football, but I think BBC F1 correspondent Andrew Benson may have outdone the master:

Nico Rosberg's dominant victory in China ensured he has become the first son of a living world champion to become a grand prix winner - and only the third ever. The fathers of Damon Hill and Jacques Villeneuve were killed when their son were children.

"when their son were children" sounds like a play set during apartheid era sa.

this is extracurricular but worth a look

I need some catching up! (avant-garde classical music)

McLeish insists he will not walk away from a three-year contract and as one of the most battle-hardened men in the game. This is no surprise - but he will need Lerner to be as supportive as he was on Tuesday.

I'm starting to think it's house style. Martin Fisher looks ahead to Chelsea-Blackburn:

This end-of-season dead rubber is bound to elicit a level of disinterest not in keeping with how the rest of the season has panned out for these clubs.

By Phil McNulty
Chief football writer, BBC Sport
England manager Roy Hodgson insists he will leave it Uefa and match officials to take action if any his players are racially abused during Euro 2012.

welp.

(okay, after a bit of radical confusion i see where the missing word is now. but still, that's the first line. and 'insists'?)

Not a nactual eponymous nultification, but Guardian keeps an amount of proper gravitas:

Poland would have preferred to galvanise their countrymen, but the side were not masters on this night. Even before they enjoyed a numerical advantage for a spell, Greece had been insistent on showing that they had notable means of their own. It is the co-hosts who may be left to reflect most deeply on these scenes.

There is more.

Some real high energy - or do they call it hi-energy these days? - pre-match entertainment

Nult pretending he's never been to a leather bar

Is that really what they've laid on for the baying hordes? (lol at the story of France having sold 27 tickets btw)

lol merdes

And finally back to hotel in Krakow just as the sun breaks through. Certainly shining on England & Roy Hodgson today. #bbcfootball
@philmcnulty 5 hours ago

5 hours ago, nult will have had a wild bender with the barmy army, inebriated will have arrived back at hotel at 6am.

They have been busy in the transfer market but the main reason for predicting a much-improved Premier League placing for Villa this season is the arrival of the single-minded Lambert. I expect Villa to be much more formidable this season.

Finishing position - 8th

is this the first time he has made any prediction not of the 'formidable catalans barcelona will be a threat in the champions league this year' variety

woah, return of the nakh

that will have been a display name

try parsing this one

It is also a signal that United can and will spend the big money on stellar stars when the moment arrives Ferguson can point at Van Persie as the flesh and blood embodiment of his insistence that owners the Glazers will support him financially when it matters, proof that his public support for the Americans is not simply lip service to his paymasters

that is absolutely immense

'stellar stars' is only about the seventeenth most astounding thing that about that sentence

So while no-one can dress up Van Persie's loss as good news for Arsenal or downsize the challenge now facing Wenger - especially as he has chosen Old Trafford as his next destination - cold reflection from their supporters may just leave them thinking life will go on.

oh shit i didn't even notice "stellar stars"

Haha, I was going to revive this after reading that but got distracted at work.

That quoted bit is like he fired a shotgun full of words at the page.

It's glorious. his ability to make moebus strip sentences out of russian doll grammatical constructions is truly impressive, but even allowing for that he's surely aided by the absence of an obvious full stop there. a relatively crude device by his standards.

http://www.vinylvendors.com/Pictures/s/t/stellastarr365929.jpg

moebius. ykwim.

The Scot hinted at the pain he insists will drive his players to feats of recovery they have accomplished before, bouncing back from the loss of losing the title Ferguson treasures, when he spoke during United's pre-season tour of South Africa.

vintage nult.

btw does anyone think someone had a word about all the "will have knowns", you just don't see them anymore.

And while City will once again cast a considerable shadow, Ferguson can also point to shafts of optimism ahead of United's first test at Everton on Monday even before the signing of Van Persie.

shafts of optimism!

btw does anyone think someone had a word about all the "will have knowns", you just don't see them anymore.

I like to think it was a similar situation to when I realised I kept on putting f'ing things in brackets. Stop! I said to myself, but wd still find myself unconsciously dropping them in. So, McNulty - wrestling away with trying to eliminate 'will have known' from his style, but still forgetting from time to time before exclaiming 'Stop! Recast' and throwing all the words back into his alchemist' pot to come up with something even more deranged and pleasing.

the future perfects are for later on in the season, right now it's just plain future

he is making up for it in other ways though

the sentence structures just get more and more involuted and discordant, just pure will-to-nult with no sub-editors daring to intervene even when the results are strictly nonsensical

it's actually intriguing how someone can "write" sentences that make no sense. what does he think he's saying? he's never saying anything.

Steve Clarke will be delighted with that opening 45 minutes from his new WBA side - but Liverpool will still feel there is plenty in this."

Amazing.

"The secret of good comedy is always in the timing so there was quite simply not enough humble pie to go around as the giant Belgian, almost inevitably after fate was so sorely tempted here, gave a performance of such physical and footballing stature that United's patchwork defence found him unplayable, a bully and a tormentor in the manner manager Moyes would have wanted."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/philmcnulty/2012/08/towering_fellaini_leaves_fergu.html#more

http://i49.tinypic.com/2ppmrkm.jpg

he now merits his name replacing the headline, such is his quality.

Early start for Warsaw tomorrow for England's World Cup qualifier

Felix Baumgartner. Magnificent achievement & tv moment - fantastic shots. Lands on his feet as cool as you like. Pour him a large cold one. @philmcnulty 1 hour ago

Michael Owen tells Leaders in Football Conference that if he plays well for his club he believes he could maybe play for England again
Retweeted by Phil McNulty

his tweets need further analysis.

there could be a big fb post to come yet this season from the evergreen striker

the tweets don't really give him enough space to really show himself

he is all about the long form, it would be like asking bruckner to write three minute powerpop jingles or robert musil liveblogging wimbledon for the guardian

or felix to jump from the kerb