ITT: Lyrics you have come up with and then discarded for some reason.

Zombie James Brown = Screamin Jay Hawkins really.

"You're a New Age emasculant
on the receiving end
of sexual harass-a-ment"

This mid-tempo country anthem arose in my mind unbidden and fully formed a little over a year ago. I had just started smoking pot again for the first time in ages and unfortunately I was sorta bombarded from the cosmos with unwelcome mediocre country lyrics whenever I would smoke. There were quite a few of these, and I never liked them - it was more like something out of my control that was driving me insane and ruining a perfectly good high. This is the only one I can remember now and the second verse and bridge are lost to eternity. The Kanye line is pretty dogwhistley, which is another reason why I loathe this thing.

It was jarred from my memory a few weeks ago when the Charlottesville protests brought tiki/redneck intersectionality into the national consciousness in a pretty surprising way, but given the somber mood, I didn't feel good about sharing it at the time. But now with Taylor Swift releasing another song about Kanye, I figured what the hell I'll just put this out there somewhere. I hope you hate it as much as I do.

"The Tikis of Country"

Well, Robert Plant kept those candles lit
When Led Zeppelin hit the stage
And Fred Durst felt those lighters
When he played that song with Staind
And Kanye West prob'ly likes it best
If a Samsung S is what you wave back and forth todaaaaaayyyy

So come on light the tikis of country
We got some burgers on the grill just in case you get hungry
We might get rude, crude, unnecessarily nude
In fact we might even get ... funky
*insert 1 bar of bow-chicka-wow muted wah guitar*
Yeah, come on light the tikis of country