Let an EXCELSIOR be an EXCELSIOR, and let sleeping LOLS lie

yah, i liked that one too.

the net significance of any given poster's fup should be inversely proportional to the number of fups they hand out

― his hands are a dirty fountain through which lives spurt (contenderizer), Wednesday, February 1, 2012 2:00 PM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Thank you, Paul McCartney.

― pplains, Wednesday, February 1, 2012 2:01 PM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'd choose a life where dreams come true, but just this week I dreamed that the copier at work was located at O'Hare airport, so I can't risk it.

― garbage corn fan (Je55e), Thursday, 2 February 2012 05:50 (3 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

hahaha that's great

the answer to pretty much any question usually ends up being "it depends"

― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, February 2, 2012 10:21 AM (53 minutes ago)

the answer to pretty much any question usually ends up being "it depends"

depends on the question

― dayove cool (Noodle Vague), Thursday, February 2, 2012 10:22 AM (52 minutes ago)

the answer to pretty much any question usually ends up being "depends"

What does 90 year old pussy smell like?

― Quand le déshonneur est public, il faut que la vengeance soit (Michael White), Thursday, February 2, 2012 10:23 AM (51 minutes ago)

points off for changing the wording of my post to make the joke work

Accepted. Had to be done, though

None other than Lou Reed told that joke to a photographer friend of mine!

And when he used to retell the joke, he would always say "It depends"!

(The photog that is)

It took a while, but I just *got* that Paul McCartney one...

<3333333333333333333333333

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Friday, 28 October 2011 02:48 (3 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what is that? a loving human centipede?

― sarahel, Friday, 28 October 2011 02:56 (3 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah i've gotten a flurry of emails this week asking me to approve comments on "best gucci mane songs of 2008"

one was just "I got a big gun"

― J0rdan S., Thursday, February 2, 2012 5:37 PM (12 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

From ILX Milk Carton. Re: Geir

he still has about 20 years to go with his "1001 Songs..." polls. I wonder if someone else should take over the duty.

― The I-Need-a-Cure Singers (unregistered), Friday, February 3, 2012 3:18 PM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the things they carried

― J0rdan S., Friday, February 3, 2012 3:20 PM (8 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

loool

only person in the vanity fair pic i recognized is sophia vergara

― the arm (NZA), Friday, 3 February 2012 20:34 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

and that is by far the least ws picture of her ever wtf

― the arm (NZA), Friday, 3 February 2012 20:35 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

um

― Critique of Pure Moods (goole), Friday, 3 February 2012 20:35 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

she's not in that photo shoot

― encarta it (Gukbe), Friday, 3 February 2012 20:36 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

and scene

― lag∞n, Friday, 3 February 2012 20:38 (1 hour ago) Bookmark

What if someone googles your nameand it finds your post where you said "clits is nice"

― The Cheerfull Turtle (Latham Green), Friday, February 3, 2012 9:30 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Then they'd be all I need to get to know this stud.

― Unleash the Chang (he did what!) (Austerity Ponies), Friday, February 3, 2012 9:38 AM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

haha brady walked up to kraft during training camp his rookie season introduced himself and said 'im the best decision you ever made'
― lag∞n, Friday, February 3, 2012 8:21 PM

god fuck that guy
― mookieproof, Friday, February 3, 2012 8:22 PM

lol he was right tho
― lag∞n, Friday, February 3, 2012 8:23 PM

eli walked up to steve tisch during training camp his rookie season introduced himself and said 'did you know some dinosaurs used their long necks to eat plants from the tops of trees?'
― pplains, Friday, February 3, 2012 8:33 PM

yeah we don't know what the fuck you're talking about

― this is funny u bitter dork (forksclovetofu), Sunday, January 22, 2012 6:14 PM (1 week ago)

thats smdh at forks not at mookie, obv

― Number None, Friday, February 3, 2012 12:13 PM (4 hours ago)

^^77 off of 77

see u in 60, bro

where are y'all stealing games on the internet nowadays

crap, forgot that thread was on 77

The Happiest Wives in America?
By Maggie Gallagher
February 3, 2012 9:44 P.M. Comments3
In my syndicated column this week, I take a break from politics to ask: Just who are the happiest wives in America?

(Hint: Ann Romney, Rick Santorum, and Carol Paul are all examples).

― JoeStork, Saturday, February 4, 2012 2:47 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

cool

this display name is the crying eagle of ILX

― https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0 (dayo), Saturday, February 4, 2012 4:24 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

pwned

I think that was intentional

mh feeling his oats even though it's done by a dumb regex, not in code.

I think that was intentional

― https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0 (dayo), Saturday, February 4, 2012 4:39 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

btw I meant I got rickrolled

what if you are just as close to God here as you would be in Heaven.

― pplains, Monday, 6 February 2012 05:32 (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that's what those last three made me ask myself.

― pplains, Monday, 6 February 2012 05:32 (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

so weird to think about a god that is everywhere at once, all knowing. i mean, yeah it's obvious, but that's completely fucked up.

― Z S, Monday, 6 February 2012 05:40 (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

when you have sex, god is having sex with itself, experiencing it from both ends. weird.

― Z S, Monday, 6 February 2012 05:41 (4 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

In fact they get extra brownie points for carrying that heavy cross of homosexuality and avoiding the temptations!

― Frobisher (Viceroy), Monday, February 6, 2012 11:21 AM (6 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

when youre feeling gay its important to do things to take yr mid off it like go to the park or get out and stretch yr legs a little at a rest stop maybe splash some water on yr face in a public restroom

― lag∞n, Monday, February 6, 2012 8:25 AM (31 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Confirms my notion that every other thread on ILX gets more gay action than the gay thread.

Well that exchange came from the Republican thread so duh.

these guys and their insular weird culture depress me!

*pops champagne to inaugurate 10th year of posting on message board*

― the jazz zinger (s1ocki), Monday, February 6, 2012 10:47 AM (20 minutes ago)

What's ironic about chasing girls and cocaine into backrooms of clubs? haven't we all done that when we were young?

― JacobSanders, Monday, February 6, 2012 12:55 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

well I did it ironically

― iatee, Monday, February 6, 2012 12:58 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^ startled my wife by laughing out loud at that

i'd forgotten that music is half a really amazing album (and half totally inessential but whatever). "impressive instant", "paradise (not for me)", "runaway lover">>>>>>>

― first period don't give a fuck, second period gon get cut (lex pretend), Monday, February 6, 2012 1:31 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah it's good, not "kaputt" good, but def good

― dave coolier (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, February 6, 2012 1:36 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ggnnnnnggghhhh

― first period don't give a fuck, second period gon get cut (lex pretend), Monday, February 6, 2012 1:41 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hahahaaaaa

yeah that's never gonna not be funny

ka

http://www.downfallguild.org/sites/www.downfallguild.org/files/images/poot.jpg

I assumed for this whole discussion "drone" meant a plane w/ missiles on it. Why else would you have one?

― Literal Facepalms (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, February 7, 2012 2:19 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

snacks

― Unleash the Chang (he did what!) (Austerity Ponies), Tuesday, February 7, 2012 2:20 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmeow.........

― garbage corn fan (Je55e), Tuesday, February 7, 2012 3:51 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hahaha

my father was a musician at disneyland on-and-off from the early eighties to ~2004, so my sisters and i spent a lot of time there + had a bunch of people in our peer group who worked there. i've probably told this story on ilx before, but i took a college creative writing course with one of the guys who played Goofy; he was very tall and strange and every story he submitted had something to do with infant and/or child murder.

― ban opinions (reddening), Tuesday, January 24, 2012 4:24 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

moral of the story: stay away from Goofy

― Full Frontal Newtity (Shakey Mo Collier), Tuesday, January 24, 2012 4:26 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

garsh

― I spend a lot of time thinking about apricots (DJP), Tuesday, January 24, 2012 4:28 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i took a college writing course with a tiny girl who played mickey/minnie mouse at disneyworld, she said drunks were prone to either punching mickey or trying to put their hand up minnie's dress, she said the minnie costume was fairly molestation-proof but the mickey punches could hurt quite a lot.

^^ kind of lol but mostly sad

i was chuck e cheese when i was in high school and let me tell you that kids will run up and punch you in the balls as hard as they can and parents think it's funny. What i discovered was that Chuck E's hard plastic head could be used as a weapon so when i saw a manic seven year old running up to "hug" Chuck E, Chuck E would lower his head and "kiss" the seven year old with a slight wallop to the face. Cue screaming kid. Cue mama saying "Chuck E didn't mean to hurt you". Bullshit on that mama, keep your kid away from my gonads.

I was also the pig at Piggly Wiggly for two horrible weekends. Standing outdoors in the summer heat with assholes throwing empty beer cans while you stand outside waving and exploring the wonderful world of heat exhaustion.