Footballers who really don't need to be on Twitter

i live really near tropeiro and have never been. because i suspect it will be shite. celtic players liking it isn't really swinging me.

but im semi intrigued. i should go just to satisfy my curiosity.

steven caulker @stevencaulker91
it was all a dream i used to watch Swansea City in division 3 now they in the premier league playing top 4 teams

@ftbllrsdoinstff

ok ive started on this. just on a following spree at the moment, then ill let the sweet sweet tweets come to me. yes i understand there is no reason why anyone would want to follow an account that aggregates boring tweets by footballers.

ha, i was gonna direct you towards phil neville

he's going to be mvp i think.

Aww, the chat between Phil and Gary is quite endearing.

I would recommend the entire fucking Brentford squad ("training done...time to hit westfield") and Boro lad @joebennett27 (who has protected his endless Nandos and FIFA updates)

aye ive a few brentford. niall mcginn of brentford, who used to be at celtic, tweets about nando's about once a week. the holy trifecta is really the cinema, nando's and fifa, with coffee chains getting an honourable mention.

a friend and i actually went to the cinema then nando's today, pretending we were footballers for a day.

I have never been to Nando's

it's alright.

i am now following 274 professional footballers. that's enough for one night.

Neil38Etheridge Neil Etheridge
by ftbllrsdoinstff
Wow just goggled Jay-Z and I think e must have the biggest collection of sun glasses ever! Everything he wears he has shades to match!
9 hours ago

My favourite thing about following footballers on Twitter is seeing the deluded ones who believe the people who beg for retweets because footballer X is their favourite footballer. Seriously. No-one in the history of football has ever had Niall McGinn or Cillian Sheridan as their favourite Celtic player, yet every other week you get a "u cud huv been a Celtic legend, u were my fave player, please RT".

i wd rather eat in KFC than Nando's no lie

Well i just found out Nando's actually recently opened their first Dublin branch, perhaps i will go investigate it this weekend. Exciting

McGinn can't even hack it at Brentford, so the idea of him becoming a Celtic legend is laughable. Our keeper @rleegk has positioned himself as a sort of footballing Alain de Botton, tweeting a load of Clinton Cards 'inspirational' neuro-linguistic bullshit.

the retired colonels' version of St0rmfr0nt weighs in: http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/brendanoneill2/100132849/why-is-nobody-outraged-by-the-fact-that-a-footballer-has-been-fined-6000-for-writing-an-82-character-tweet/

oh god i can feel another poll coming on

eh

'can't hack it @ brentford' isn't necessarily an automatic strikeout in the path to 'celtic legend'

Yeah, League One is pretty competitive.

this thread is going to be useful for me in my new endeavour. going to have a twitter called something like "footballers doing things" dedicated to RTing footballers who are going to nando's or the cinema, etc.

― zverotic discourse (jim in glasgow), Thursday, 26 January 2012 19:51 (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

does this exist yet? i will follow

i live really near tropeiro and have never been.

I work right next to it and have never been. We were supposed to go for Christmas lunch in 2010 but a fire prevented it. In the 18 months or so it has been there I have never seen more than two occupied tables.

that's where the marketing team get on the case and 'spacious & comfortable' starts appearing on the leaflets

does this exist yet? i will follow

https://twitter.com/#!/ftbllrsdoinstff

I tried following last night, but Twitter wasn't playing nice.

Following. Good work, Jim.

'can't hack it @ brentford' isn't necessarily an automatic strikeout in the path to 'celtic legend'

Yeah I had forgotten about Rod Stewart tbf.

lol

My favourite thing about following footballers on Twitter is seeing the deluded ones who believe the people who beg for retweets because footballer X is their favourite footballer. Seriously. No-one in the history of football has ever had Niall McGinn or Cillian Sheridan as their favourite Celtic player, yet every other week you get a "u cud huv been a Celtic legend, u were my fave player, please RT".

― ailsa, Friday, January 27, 2012 4:46 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

you can tell by how they retweet that they actually believe them?

Errrrrrrrrrr, since when was Rod Stewart a "Celtic legend"?

But good gag tho

xposts. if they RT without comment someone who says "please RT because I think you're a legend", I sort of believe they believe it, or at least want to. "look at me, followers, someone thinks I'm a legend!"

I hate when footballers (or slebs in general) give it "I'll give out a RT to my thousandth/millionth/adjust-according-to-Big-Club-status follower" - throwing the plebs a wee bone.

idg asking for RTs either tbh, unless you're trying to punt something or publicise a cause.

fuck me this is a lot of work.

future generations will thank you

needs more @kirrard16

keep up the good work! I #ff'ed your account. people need to hear about this!

lolling @ that frimpong RT.

Just a bit of misogynist banter.

https://twitter.com/#!/GeorgeBHall/status/167735431100776450

14 Feb Ryan Babel @RyanBabel
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When I'm bored on Facebook, I press the home button and realize I'm already on the home page -___-

Kyle Bartley manages to upset both sides of the sectarian divide in two tweets, since deleted:

[“@kylebartley22: Tweeps let me hear some ideas for lent!!”

AMONGST OTHER RESPONSES WAS

@purplemadboy:@kylebartley22 Tweeps let me hear some ideas for lent!!”

m8 lent is for Catholics .. We don't do that !

TO WHICH HE RESPONDED

@kylebartley22:Fuck lent then.. Hahaha..

He does seem like a particularly unpleasant young man

Anyway, he might be giving up his wages for Lent, whether he likes it or not

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fa/Kyle_Bartley_-_Rangers.jpg

caption: Bartley scored his first goal for Rangers against St Mirren on 6 March 2011

I think he'll be part of Arsenal's huge wage bill this week, now that Rangers have destroyed their historic 100 year friendship with the Gunners.

I saw Bartley tweet that question earlier and thought 'uh-oh, nothing good can come of this'.

Ryan Babel ‏ @RyanBabel
I see it already happen Xavi laughing in his mind standing infront of Parker before the game with the refs thinking " Who's he ? " Lol

the best footballers in the world (and Scott Parker)

hot tip for Ryan Babel: Xavi is not the captain of Spain.