essential nfl tweets

lock thread, we have a winner

Jim Irsay
‏@JimIrsay

Heaven...is a place.....where nothing...............nothing never happens

https://twitter.com/#!/JimIrsay/status/177971346385534976

Jim Irsay
‏@JimIrsay

Sometimes I think of Tweeter,sometimes I think of Jan....sometimes I don't think of nothing...but The Monkey Man.....

https://twitter.com/#!/JimIrsay/status/176908754590253056

Jim Irsay
@JimIrsay

Oz never did give nothing 2 the tin man...that he didn't,didn't already have

https://twitter.com/#!/JimIrsay/status/175100696360783872

irsay needs to get the fuck off of twitter

Jed York
‏@JedYork

Thanks for choosing the #49ers Alex. Sorry it was a tough week...
Retweeted by Jason La Canfora

https://twitter.com/#!/JedYork/status/182525042641481731

didn't realise Norv had a nickname

Troy Aikman
@TroyAikman

Happy 60th birthday to my good friend @chargers Norv Turner! Hope you planned something special Nancy!

hahahahahah

i hope norv's wife is named nancy, otherwise that is kinda sad

her name is nancy

okay, feeling better about that.

her name is nancy

― J0rdan S., Thursday, May 17, 2012 3:33 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i'm just going to choose to ignore this "fact"

I think we just found Norbert a new nickname

looool

‏@ArianFoster
I'm watching reptilian conspiracy videos on YouTube. #davidicke. I like some things he says, but I don't know about this one buddy lol

would love to know what things david icke has said that arian foster likes

@RGIII
I do not have Instagram people #JustSaying

donte' stallworth is recounting the 20th century history of iran tweet by tweet

Brandon Bolden ‏@BB_HulkSmash 2h
You might think you're fully aware of what's best for everyone... More for Aquarius http://bit.ly/whBNNw
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Brandon Bolden ‏@BB_HulkSmash 9 Oct
Your vivid imagination is running on overdrive now and it's ex... More for Aquarius http://bit.ly/whBNNw

Brandon Bolden ‏@BB_HulkSmash 8 Oct
It's nearly impossible to think about having fun when things a... More for Aquarius http://bit.ly/whBNNw
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Brandon Bolden ‏@BB_HulkSmash 7 Oct
Being appreciated for your contributions at work is a real boo... More for Aquarius http://bit.ly/whBNNw

Brandon Bolden ‏@BB_HulkSmash 6 Oct
There may be a recent misunderstanding or a mistake that conti... More for Aquarius http://bit.ly/whBNNw

Brandon Bolden ‏@BB_HulkSmash 5 Oct
Your key planet Uranus keeps you on pins and needles all day t... More for Aquarius http://bit.ly/whBNNw

Brandon Bolden ‏@BB_HulkSmash 4 Oct
You have an exciting opportunity to expand your horizons now b... More for Aquarius http://bit.ly/whBNNw

Brandon Bolden ‏@BB_HulkSmash 3 Oct
Sometimes when others feel tension, you just feel the buzz of ... More for Aquarius http://bit.ly/whBNNw
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Brandon Bolden ‏@BB_HulkSmash 2 Oct
Your overall situation is growing brighter day by day, but the... More for Aquarius http://bit.ly/whBNNw

Brandon Bolden ‏@BB_HulkSmash 1 Oct
Storms are growing in intensity today, but the lightning hasn'... More for Aquarius http://bit.ly/whBNNw

Brandon Bolden ‏@BB_HulkSmash 30 Sep
Your fantasies are luring you off into the distant future or o... More for Aquarius http://bit.ly/whBNNw

Greg Olsen ‏@gregolsen82 1h
Primetime tonight. All eyes on #BlackAndBlue. @TideNFL knows how important they are to our fans. #OurColors #spon

Donovan McNabb ‏@donovanjmcnabb 5m
Is Jason Tucker the best clutch kicker in NFL History?

Wade Phillips ‏@sonofbum 16m
To Texan suite sales-I am sorry,but because of recent changes I will Not renew my purchase of a suite.Hope u understand. Wade Phillips

Jordan Peele
‏@JordanPeele
Worth the penalty. Get it. @LanceMoore16 @KSTiLLS #WhoDat
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BdfKMxAIQAAImt2.jpg

Larry Fitzgerald ‏@LarryFitzgerald 19h
If you could ship anything home from #SB48 using @FedEx #OneRate what would it be? I'll tell you what I would do #WhatWouldYouShip #ad

#ad is a pretty amazing hashtag

Aaron Rodgers
‏@AaronRodgers12
2 of the 3 guys commenting on this workout right now have opinions that shouldn't be taken very seriously.

https://twitter.com/GeorgeHWBush/status/449232135568642048/photo/1

Richie Incognito ‏@68INCOGNITO 3h
Everybody else leave a message on my Inc. line 9542990345. #holler #madd #motivator most of all #leaders2014

Baltimore Ravens @Ravens · 2h
Janay Rice says she deeply regrets the role that she played the night of the incident.

BParker17
Ray Rice is going to miss 3 games for beating up his girlfriend. Josh Gordon will miss 16 for smoking pot. Great job, @nfl.

@Redsk1ns
Tweet @SenatorReid to show your #Redsk1nsPride and tell him what the team means to you.

i imagine that was formulated by a senior marketing idiot but actually tweeted by an intern with a shrug and a mental #YOLO

https://twitter.com/JasonLaCanfora/status/473519729584267264

omg <3

hey whoa yr back

everyone was all "waaaaaaaaaah I miss H4A" the other day. kinda weird that you would be so obliging lol

yeah dude has been stinking up his twitter feed with embarrassing shit like this ever since
https://twitter.com/JasonLaCanfora/status/472934954431959040

Maj. Max Geron ‏@MaxDPD 51m
#BREAKING CORRECTION - Yaqub Talib 31yrs old was arrested. My apologies to Aqib Talib. Original information reported was incorrect.

tangential but
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BupmCfMIUAA43zw.jpg

kinda lol but kinda sad

Jason La Canfora ‏@JasonLaCanfora 5m
Could be a coincidence, but w/ Raiders about to pull up to Oxnard, they're playing "Trouble" by Taylor Swift at the field here...

Jason La Canfora ‏@JasonLaCanfora 3m
Before you ask, I have a 9yr old daughter, and as Swift songs go, that's actually not bad. And I say that as punk fan w/a son named Strummer

I'm a punk fan w/a son named Strummer btw

I think naming a baby human being "Strummer" is more embarrassing than listening to Taylor Swift.

agreed

This surname-ification of baby names has got to stop.

this is my baby Schweinsteiger

Steve Smith Sr ‏@89SteveSmith 17h
"@ProFootballTalk: Panthers paid Steve Smith $3 million to leave instead of $7 million to keep him." actually I received $5 million

http://i.imgur.com/DgmAeVO.jpg

makes u think

ha beat me to it. i knew he wouldn't disappoint

@MikeSilver
The crazy thing is Todd Haley is one of the few coordinators in the NFL who truly loves gangsta rap...

Jason La Canfora ‏@JasonLaCanfora 12h12 hours ago
Arbeit macht frei

Jason La Canfora ‏@JasonLaCanfora 12h12 hours ago
Last tweet was in regards to a song by The Libertines. "Arbeit Macht Frei" sorry. Had no idea of any negative connotation.

Woooah what a dumbo

say what now?

jeeeezus

https://twitter.com/DavidDTSS/status/789249465546903552

https://twitter.com/Browns/status/790994531718205440

solid replies

https://twitter.com/samsteinhp/status/795110678851948545

https://twitter.com/RSherman_25/status/796062020323840000

still a penalty but great pic. this also p good:
https://twitter.com/RSherman_25/status/796036019329998848

https://twitter.com/AntonioBrown/status/805269794958082049

https://twitter.com/Lions/status/805522642489016320

https://twitter.com/JManziel2/status/823614425621876736

he's since deleted his account for some reason. overall, probably for the best.

jerry glanville ftw

https://twitter.com/davehill77/status/828648288991772672

thx I needed that today

https://twitter.com/CollinsworthPFF/status/828732772273516549

tweet has gone but yeah matt patricia
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C4BABl0VUAE99Vf.jpg

that glanville story is so good

omg that glanville story is perfection

https://twitter.com/MoneyLynch/status/857284168111202304

😃😃😃😃😃

when life gives you lemons & sends yr team to vegas, make lemonade by signing beastmode & give VG some temporary happiness

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C-rcdRFXcAAt7d9.jpg

.@Reince exiting gop cloakroom tells me: "The president stepped up and helped punt the ball into the end zone."

— Molly Hooper (@mollyhooper) May 4, 2017

touchback!!!

http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/football-push.gif

Hahahahahahahaha https://t.co/JNaIGRwb1K

— Pat McAfee (@PatMcAfeeShow) May 24, 2017

"Hot takes are the easier, lazier way to cover sports" https://t.co/9T10vsdcIO

— Carolina Panthers (@Panthers) July 29, 2017

http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/streetfighter/images/1/15/Dhalsim-yogafire1a.gif

Happy Birthday to the best mom I could ever ask for. pic.twitter.com/2CssO8COcq

— JJ Watt (@JJWatt) October 1, 2017

essential 80’s moms

that baby looks half her size

A mysterious tweeter has been defending NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. It’s his wife! https://t.co/kKRhZBnOML

— WSJ Sports (@WSJSports) October 12, 2017

lol

awww

Rob Ryan looks like Gandalf went undercover to bust a cocaine smuggling ring in Miami in 1986. pic.twitter.com/8nMI4w2Gm5

— Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) October 19, 2017

holy shit

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DPFgPdsXcAEt1Gg.jpg

what NFL team do Trump own ? oh yeah they wouldnt let him have one ,!! LMAO https://t.co/1rPa5jfMjE

— Delisa Lynch (@MommaLynch24) November 20, 2017

hahahaha

Aqib Talib be having my mentions FUCKED UP lol https://t.co/NHsYeKwlGY

— Talib Kweli Greene (@TalibKweli) November 28, 2017

"Cam can show you the world" pic.twitter.com/Iv7mAlhy25

— Carolina Panthers (@Panthers) December 10, 2017

this guy

pic.twitter.com/KOdMJqo1T5

— Tennessee Titans (@Titans) January 7, 2018

Then again he picked me ahead of Peyton too, just sayin!!

— Ryan D Leaf (@RyanDLeaf) January 18, 2018

lmao that's amazing

Somebody please explain how asparagus does it. And you know what I mean by “it”.

— Case Keenum (@casekeenum7) February 3, 2018

Because I’m a former three-year football letterman who is still hailed as a legend some 20 years later when I attend field parties in my letter jacket, so I know a fraud under center when I see one, and that’s Andy Dalton.

— Three Year Letterman (@3YearLetterman) March 1, 2018

this is so classic. i should be upset but man the eagles are a fun team and i <3 chris long and legarrette blount

Parade ready pic.twitter.com/tuCQbTkOrY

— Chris Long (@JOEL9ONE) February 8, 2018

Thanks to @jordanbpeterson for speaking to our staff and enlightening us today! pic.twitter.com/rRW5K1HpQD

— Pete Carroll (@PeteCarroll) May 10, 2018

Q: #AskStephenA You think Russell Wilson is overrated?
- @JohnAtMcGee

A: pic.twitter.com/eMXgxHV1z3

— Stephen A Smith (@stephenasmith) November 27, 2018

whole thread has a lot of wisdom

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v646/Supreme2k/respeck_knuckles.jpg

The Chicago bears accidentally making an inflammatory, sectarian statement about Irish politics is maybe the funniest NFL team post since the Raiders Derek Chauvin post. pic.twitter.com/rL9U3EuCVc

— Combo (@thiccgenius) March 17, 2022

My college roommate stole my girlfriend while we were roommates, had her move in with us and is now married to her with 2 kids…. And we are still friends. Why? Because the bonds you make coaching football are greater than the women who try to break them! Good luck today Petey… https://t.co/howHVN7N0a pic.twitter.com/AeLW113ipq

— Coach Tom Yashinsky (@TYash42) March 11, 2023

This is one of the best things I have ever seen:

should we REALLY make our schedule release video an anime AGAIN?

yes yes yesyes
yesyes yes yes yes
yes yes yes yes yes
yes yesyes yes yes
yes yesye yes yes
yes yes yesyes pic.twitter.com/z7qyNGyWHp

— Los Angeles Chargers (@chargers) May 12, 2023