emotional tmi

even the concept of oversharing is extremely subjective

Did someone call my middle name?

Hi, guys!

hugs for all my emotional friends

As a man with no real handle on his emotions, I have no idea what it meant, but I was about to go to bed a couple weeks ago and paused in reading a book to pet my cat a little and something came over me and I had tears in my eyes and I gave him a big hug.

kind of lack of information, but sometimes even in tmi world we don't know how to express where these come from

hugs for all my emotional friends
A chaste swift pat on the back for the rest of us ;)

we're all emotional, just in different ways

I had a awful childhood, routinely beaten and molested well into my teens, which I dealt with by instinctively shutting down my emotions so I couldn't feel any pain. It worked in that sense, but I also lost with it the ability to feel love or affection. Couldn't really feel much of anything actually. Was just sort of there, floating aimlessly through life.

Spent years in support groups and counseling trying to work my way out of the abyss i'd been thrown into against my will, worked so hard to try and carve out a decent life from the hand I'd been dealt, and came thisclose to a breakthrough. I did about 80% of what I needed to do, but the 20% I didn't do prevented the other 80% from working, and now i've slipped further behind then i was when i started out. I wish I could get my emotions back, but they won't come.

that is a lot of information -- i think we may have opposite problems?

also i am sorry you have been through a lot of horrible experiences
i hope you have continued to work through whatever you need to work through

Wow, I'm really sorry dude. Didn't have things even close to that bad, but had a similar thing with shutting down emotions... my feelings are really intense, so bad stuff is magnified.

What helped me was going back to past experiences and feeling those emotions again ... you recapture yourself from those moments. It wasn't pleasant, but it was necessary. If you shut down one emotion you shut 'em all off.

Not sure if you've tried that, but it helped me ... but I can't imagine the kind-of pain you'd have to relive by doing that. It seriously was the only thing that helped, no therapist or other person could ever do that for me, and it takes courage to put yourself through it.

In order to go back to past experiences, you have to be able to remember them. I uaually can't. There's a good reason for that - just the thought of trying to remember them is beyond scary. It would destroy what little is left of me.

oh man i remember NOTHJING before 5. My father was an alcoholic. My first real memory is of my mom throwing my brother and I in the car at 3am and never going back home. Recently I made the mistake of casually asking my brother if those years had been really bad. His answer was a short 'Yes.' but his tone implied so much more and my whole body felt like it iced over. I know I'll never be asking anything about those days again.

apparently there was a point when i wanted to note progress, but really i no longer have any interest in discussing my progress or providing updates to my emotional state.
it remains a horrifying idea to even consider tbh.

the difference is that i no longer care. i think mookieproof suggested that maybe it's ok to not want to be an open book. that's what i'm going with atm.

― La Lechera, Tuesday, January 24, 2012 12:59 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark

I just got a strong wave of this feeling again and noticed the date on this post -- maybe I'm just tired of emoting after the holidays?

this thread is like endorphins to me

hate to bump this thread but re: emotional regulation
http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/11/the-science-of-laughing-through-the-tears/382824/

got to corpse pose today and just started bawling in the middle of the class. it's happened a few times before; generally some ichor that needs an outlet. kinda embarrassing but I figure if it gets to that point idgaf.

ugh it's like springing a leak! but better than exploding.

yep