I hear you, and without asking for details, I get it. In fact, I wanted to revive this thread and resisted because I didn't want to be the one to do it. :)
― La Lechera, Tuesday, 24 January 2012 18:42 (nine years ago) link
i just figured that ilx is the sort of place where there might be others who have experienced this. i can't really, um, talk to anyone about it y'know
i mean i think there is some kind of emotional release going on in the act of searching ilx for EMOTIONAL, ha ha. i hadn't read this all before. i think we are sorta in the same ballpark, i am not a big fan of the posterity of oversharing on ilx, but webmail if you ever want emotionally uptight high-fives.
idk if you were theoretically gonna bump this thread with more progress updates on your social & emotional blossoming, but i hope it's all good or working out for you at the moment. i always think of that moment in annie hall when woody allen sleeps w/diane keaton & lays back and says well, there goes another novel, like there are potentially pluses to an unexorcised backlogue of feelings, so either way can work.
― quick brown fox triangle (schlump), Tuesday, 24 January 2012 18:49 (nine years ago) link
apparently there was a point when i wanted to note progress, but really i no longer have any interest in discussing my progress or providing updates to my emotional state.it remains a horrifying idea to even consider tbh.
the difference is that i no longer care. i think mookieproof suggested that maybe it's ok to not want to be an open book. that's what i'm going with atm.
― La Lechera, Tuesday, 24 January 2012 18:59 (nine years ago) link
yes, for real. & it is generally bad to spend too much time trying to fit a square thing into a triangle shape, you sometimes just have to go w/the way things are. there are safeties to not telling people stuff, anyway, so even if it isn't perfect it can be a lot less discomforting, & a lot more autonomous, than having to be sensitive to some of the things that can be raised w/oversharing, etc.
― quick brown fox triangle (schlump), Tuesday, 24 January 2012 19:07 (nine years ago) link
even the concept of oversharing is extremely subjective
― La Lechera, Tuesday, 24 January 2012 19:20 (nine years ago) link
Did someone call my middle name?
― I have a paranoid daughter and a son who is addicted to internet (Laurel), Tuesday, 24 January 2012 19:27 (nine years ago) link
hugs for all my emotional friends
As a man with no real handle on his emotions, I have no idea what it meant, but I was about to go to bed a couple weeks ago and paused in reading a book to pet my cat a little and something came over me and I had tears in my eyes and I gave him a big hug.
kind of lack of information, but sometimes even in tmi world we don't know how to express where these come from
― mh, Tuesday, 24 January 2012 19:41 (nine years ago) link
hugs for all my emotional friendsA chaste swift pat on the back for the rest of us ;)
― La Lechera, Tuesday, 24 January 2012 19:44 (nine years ago) link
we're all emotional, just in different ways
― mh, Tuesday, 24 January 2012 19:46 (nine years ago) link
I had a awful childhood, routinely beaten and molested well into my teens, which I dealt with by instinctively shutting down my emotions so I couldn't feel any pain. It worked in that sense, but I also lost with it the ability to feel love or affection. Couldn't really feel much of anything actually. Was just sort of there, floating aimlessly through life.
Spent years in support groups and counseling trying to work my way out of the abyss i'd been thrown into against my will, worked so hard to try and carve out a decent life from the hand I'd been dealt, and came thisclose to a breakthrough. I did about 80% of what I needed to do, but the 20% I didn't do prevented the other 80% from working, and now i've slipped further behind then i was when i started out. I wish I could get my emotions back, but they won't come.
― everything else is secondary (Lee626), Thursday, 26 January 2012 17:30 (nine years ago) link
that is a lot of information -- i think we may have opposite problems?
― La Lechera, Friday, 27 January 2012 20:01 (nine years ago) link
also i am sorry you have been through a lot of horrible experiencesi hope you have continued to work through whatever you need to work through
― La Lechera, Friday, 27 January 2012 20:02 (nine years ago) link
Wow, I'm really sorry dude. Didn't have things even close to that bad, but had a similar thing with shutting down emotions... my feelings are really intense, so bad stuff is magnified.
What helped me was going back to past experiences and feeling those emotions again ... you recapture yourself from those moments. It wasn't pleasant, but it was necessary. If you shut down one emotion you shut 'em all off.
Not sure if you've tried that, but it helped me ... but I can't imagine the kind-of pain you'd have to relive by doing that. It seriously was the only thing that helped, no therapist or other person could ever do that for me, and it takes courage to put yourself through it.
― Spectrum, Friday, 27 January 2012 20:22 (nine years ago) link
In order to go back to past experiences, you have to be able to remember them. I uaually can't. There's a good reason for that - just the thought of trying to remember them is beyond scary. It would destroy what little is left of me.
― Lee626, Tuesday, 7 February 2012 11:50 (nine years ago) link
oh man i remember NOTHJING before 5. My father was an alcoholic. My first real memory is of my mom throwing my brother and I in the car at 3am and never going back home. Recently I made the mistake of casually asking my brother if those years had been really bad. His answer was a short 'Yes.' but his tone implied so much more and my whole body felt like it iced over. I know I'll never be asking anything about those days again.
― Analyzing metrics on my cheapness and whorishness (sunny successor), Saturday, 11 February 2012 14:11 (nine years ago) link
― La Lechera, Tuesday, January 24, 2012 12:59 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark
I just got a strong wave of this feeling again and noticed the date on this post -- maybe I'm just tired of emoting after the holidays?
― mambo jumbo (La Lechera), Friday, 17 January 2014 20:35 (seven years ago) link
this thread is like endorphins to me
― mustread guy (schlump), Friday, 17 January 2014 20:59 (seven years ago) link
hate to bump this thread but re: emotional regulationhttp://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/11/the-science-of-laughing-through-the-tears/382824/
― i give up (La Lechera), Monday, 17 November 2014 17:08 (six years ago) link
got to corpse pose today and just started bawling in the middle of the class. it's happened a few times before; generally some ichor that needs an outlet. kinda embarrassing but I figure if it gets to that point idgaf.
― thrusted pelvis-first back (ulysses), Friday, 16 September 2016 17:00 (four years ago) link
ugh it's like springing a leak! but better than exploding.
― weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 16 September 2016 18:57 (four years ago) link
― thrusted pelvis-first back (ulysses), Saturday, 17 September 2016 05:34 (four years ago) link