rolling "Is This Racist?" thread

777 New Answers

figured everyone was freaking out about this one:

http://www.countryliving.com/cm/countryliving/images/7K/Butter-Dishes-Anthropologie-Maiden-0510-de.jpg

This thread reminds me of a v v v uncomfortable dinner my wife and I had with a couple that was buying one of my father in law's paintings. It was pretty clear early on that they were ultra right wingers and no one we would ever associate with willingly, but it got 1000000x worse when the guy made a comment that ended with "yeah, that's what we call 'em here, 'reggins', so they don't catch on". As I nearly bit through my tongue my wife was squeezing my arm so hard under the table that she drew blood.

Ha that same Agatha Christie book that had the n-bomb also had a lady with a 'gypsy look about her' or some such. Feel like it was some extremely misguided early United Colours of Benetton attempt.

when the guy made a comment that ended with "yeah, that's what we call 'em here, 'reggins', so they don't catch on"

People who are similar in e.g. skin colour to you and therefore assume that you are exactly as bigoted as them are the worst people in the world imo. In previous work engagements I've been present while horrifyingly racist, sexist and anti-gay comments have been made by people who have assumed that everyone in the conversation is just like them. In every case I've kept my mouth shut but went permanently cold on the people concerned.

Also because of this thread I've had that crap Fleetwood Mac song in my head all morning so thanks.

Holy shit jon

Please tell me you called them rekcarcs

I wish I would have thought of that at the time, I was just trying to stifle my anger and desire to just get up and leave. But seeing as how my father-in-law's only income is through the paintings he sells, I stuck with it for him.

oh my god, according to google 'reggin' is a thing

In every case I've kept my mouth shut but went permanently cold on the people concerned.

This part is what I've been working on lately, the not keeping my mouth shut part. Not blaming you for doing so, mind, I used to do the same but I've decided I'd rather risk pissing someone off than to say nothing. A friend who teaches diversity training has been helping me with examples of how to address this head-on when it comes up. Its difficult, but I like to hope I can at least leave such situations not feeling like shit.

In every case I've kept my mouth shut but went permanently cold on the people concerned.

http://thebestpictureproject.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/gentlemansagreement1.jpg

I used to do the same but I've decided I'd rather risk pissing someone off than to say nothing.

I admire your forthrightness. The only reason I stay quiet is that usually I require them to do what I tell them to do. The only real satisfaction I get is by never recommending them for any other work ever, and actively recommending against them wherever possible.

'er indoors is ultra-long-term friends with someone who married a hideous old (straight white) bastard who routinely expects everyone in the room to just go along with his myriad expressions of horrific prejudice. Obviously I have to keep the peace because of the friendship thing, but I have managed to completely avoid that old shit for several years now and plan to continue doing so until he dies.

No, I get it, there are some situations where you just can't stand up to them, for whatever reason. I just wanted to learn all I can to be well armed when I can actually try to confront them.

Definitely. Sometimes I very nicely respond with FACTS, a tactic which has the nice double-effect of proving them wrong and shutting them the hell up.

e.g. Chinese people DO NOT jam coins in their ears

"reggins":

...I just suspect that deep down (or maybe not that deep) the cumulative white viewpoint is that they're more different from their white neighbors than black people are from other black people. Purely supposition.

― How can there be male ladybugs? (Laurel), Wednesday, February 11, 2009 1:18 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Partly based on my kind of recent realization that people mean black when they say "urban", for instance.

― How can there be male ladybugs? (Laurel), Wednesday, February 11, 2009 1:19 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

urban = saggin

― noticing the cloud come (contenderizer), Wednesday, February 11, 2009 1:20 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

am i supposed to read that backwards

― and what, Wednesday, February 11, 2009 1:21 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

OMG

― How can there be male ladybugs? (Laurel), Wednesday, February 11, 2009 1:22 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

How did you even NOTICE that? Or is this something else I've missed?

― How can there be male ladybugs? (Laurel), Wednesday, February 11, 2009 1:22 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

andwhat:

fuck no! i realized after i posted, and was gutted. but no takebacks on ilx...

― noticing the cloud come (contenderizer), Wednesday, February 11, 2009 1:23 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

jesus

― noticing the cloud come (contenderizer), Wednesday, February 11, 2009 1:24 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

bahahahaha

― goole, Wednesday, February 11, 2009 1:24 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

contendo u should google 'reggins' once.

those racists, so clever.

― goole, Wednesday, February 11, 2009 1:25 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i am happy to have been totally clueless WR2 reggins

― noticing the cloud come (contenderizer), Wednesday, February 11, 2009 1:28 PM (2 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I'm now reading (like literally have open in another tab) that there are Irish Traveller communities in the States - who knew?!

We get quite a few as customers in the spring and summer.

Where?

Irish Travellers aren't the same as the college kids who flood Montauk on their summer breaks from college. The communities I was talking about are of ppl born in the US descended from Irish Traveller families who maintain their traditions and language apparently.

I used to do the same but I've decided I'd rather risk pissing someone off than to say nothing.

I'm trying to be more forthright about this, too (tho work is one place where it can be tricky). eg, though this wasnt about racism, an ex workmate on my FB the other day said, in the context of housing costs, "I jack up the rent on my Sydney property every year but its always within the legal margin. If you live inner city Melb you're practically asking to get raped."

I flat out told him it was a complete no no to say "asking to be raped" about SOMETHING THAT ISNT RAPE, but he wouldnt agree with me! Ugh.

ENBB, we mostly get the women from North Augusta, SC.

Interesting! Where are you? Sorry - I just find it totally fascinating esp the ones in America for some reason.

I'm in the Hudson Valley.

You should google North Augusta and Murphy Village if you haven't already.

Yep - was reading about MV earlier - will look into NA. For some reason I thought you were in NYC. I have no idea why.

I don't think it completely sunk in who incredibly wrong it is to reference rape unless you're talking about actual rape until the last few years. I knew it in concept, and frowned upon casual use of the word, but now it's like there's a big NO next to it in my internal dictionary.

And I think thats why people do maybe need to be braver and speak up more when people say thoughtless racist/sexist/bigoted things. Its very easy to be honestly unaware of an offence, and thats ok, bt who wants to go around saying something dreadful and not knowing it is? (that "itis" stuff upthreads a great case in point!)

Did I already mention upthread this girl my friend is hanging around who kept saying things were "gay" after he stated his disapproval just to bother him? Ugh

Yeah that shits me, Australians seem to do that a lot - defensively REFUSE to stop saying shit like "gay" or "fag" or "chink" or whatever, becase "its not my problem you have no sense of humour" is the common answer. Or "fuckin yanks cant tell us what to do". It is so embarrasing.

This is correct, we cannot tell your countrymen not to be backward jailbird descendants with low class and bad humor. They will only defy our oppressive ways.

Did the really bad ones stop having intercourse with kangaroos yet?

Oh yeah, and shrimp on the barbie, etc

(Australian stereotypes)

back in college there was a bunch of folks hanging around the lounge drinking and getting wasted, as people are wont to do in college, and someone mentioned that something was "retarded" and this girl just went off on a three-minute rant about how offensive that word was to her, how she had a cousin or something who had down's syndrome, and basically the entire room just sat there stunned as she poured her heart out. i heard about this rant second-hand and after the fact because of course i stumble like an idiot drunk into the room just after she finishes the rant and burst out (referencing someone i can't remember) "god (x) is so RETARDED!!"
didn't end well.

Given that our political system is centred around victimising racial minorities and gay people for cheap vote grabs, you could make p much any allegation about Australians and it would be correct xp

I have seen people tear strips off others for calling people "dumb", because thats "abelist" to ... mutes? or something? I mean... o_0

crazy mind-meld with omar, but:

i had a major crush on a certain girl in college. i went to her dorm room for a lovely 'night in' (her words). we partook of the ... mycological... pleasures on offer and borrowed a telescope to look out her window at a meteor shower. a dormmate of hers stopped by and laughed at me for getting really excited about a constellation. i pulled out a 'stars are wonderful, don't be so retarded' and the visiting dormmate and the girl i'd been visiting both started crying and berating me for insensitivity while my ... chemically emboridered interpretation of events took me to some dark pit of loathing and despair and my host and her (other guest) made me look at a photo album of one of their brothers who had been brain damaged a few years before and was a, you know, better man than i would ever be. afteward they threw me out and never talked to me again.

Trayce, see upthread on gypsies - just because you never experience a set of people doesn't mean they don't exist and don't have feelings.

She'll be back later, she's gone on a brief walkabout

So I read up on I Travellers in the US - p interesting then wound up on FB looking at IT's fb pages and stuff and well I really want someone to do some research into IT fashion. I mean where did it come from and how did the following end up becoming the in look for ladies:

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/395759_217937724956782_100002216682974_493944_442496284_n.jpg
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/388186_219793021437919_100002216682974_498355_1651929339_n.jpg
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=217840858299802&set=a.217840788299809.54651.100002216682974&type=3&theater
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=216089111808310&set=a.216082368475651.54313.100002216682974&type=3&theater

It's pretty amazing, really.

I want to infiltrate and write a book about women in traveller communities. Seriously.

I would probably have to dress the part which would likely be a deal breaker. Damn.

enbb's april WDYLL pic

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/78/Irish_Tinkers_1946.jpg

Wait Omar did you look at the links?

wau @ those pics ENBB linked to

lol this reminds me of watching yt videos of the great tyson fury and his entourage, altho hes a bit more real obv

Tip of the iceberg, Crut. It's totally fascinating to me. You should see the communion gowns they put the little girls in. Most of them get pulled out of school or drop out at 15 or 16 and married soon thereafter. In the pics when they're complimenting one another they often compare one another to Barbie's or princesses. A lot of their wedding cakes are barbie themed too. I've seriously been looking at the girls' FB pics since about 8. It's pretty much another universe and totally fascinating imo.

Barbies not posessive, oops

Or they compare each other to just dolls in general like here:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=100823999958368&set=a.145486978825403.17469.100000923045945&type=3&theater

It's kind of like a cross between Jersey Shore and people of Wal-Mart

That first pic with the bride and bridesmaids and the (presumed) maid of honor with her belly hanging out

wau

holy

I used to do the same but I've decided I'd rather risk pissing someone off than to say nothing.

I've always regretted not saying anything to a racist car service guy in NY a couple years ago. Since then I've twice had someone make shitty comments and both times I've just looked at people and lied to them - "my stepmother is black" and "my brother is gay" (I have no brother or stepmother).

Saying it in a serious, deadpan manner took them off guard and they started apologizing and backpedaling in a terribly uncomfortable way. Not sure if this is the right thing to do but it made me feel better and hopefully from now on they won't assume everyone is as racist / homophobic as they are.

Trayce, see upthread on gypsies - just because you never experience a set of people doesn't mean they don't exist and don't have feelings.

I mostly agree, however "dumb" is a word in such common usage for "stupid" (rather than as a handicap) I really cant get with being reserved about its use... apart from the fact its rude to be calling someone dumb to start with, of course. I certainly dont like using words like "retard" or "spaz".

like 90% of the words that are considered ableist began as medical terms ("dumb" for "mute") and were taken by the general public and turned into pejoratives, mostly aimed at intelligence. it's not far off from saying "that's so gay" when you mean "that's so stupid."

i've heard different arguments for and against "dumb" tho. also arguments that "stupid" itself is slur-ish and that the very idea of rating and quantifying someone's intelligence is oppressive. ableist issues are complicated like most things.