Aldo reads DC's New 52 (So you don't have to)

Batgirl #5: This feels like it does less, but achieves more than any of the previous issues. The cliffhanger last time about Babs' mum is almost thrown away as they have a coffee together and Babs tells her she's not that interested (although it'll undoubtedly come back to the plot as she's moving to Gotham - HELLO SOAP OPERA!). Anyway, this new plot deals with a character called Gretel who, to be honest is a bit hackneyed - she has some kind of mind control gun which makes people violent, but she seems to be doing it to complain about Bruce buying a building to do urban renewal. Which makes this probably the least likely campaign against the gentrification of New York since Alex in NYC kept on going round CBGBs taking photos of his kids in front of it. Still, we find out that Babs' recovery from being crippled was down to some 'neural implant surgery' which probably means it was down to Bruce, following Mister Terrific's plans, or something. It ends with Bruce attacking Batgirl with a crowbar under Gretel's power, which presumably means he isn't because I'm not having it that he isn't so much better than her at fighting that he wouldn't win in the first few seconds. But, you know, let's keep up the pretence so we're still excited next month.

Batman & Robin #5: I really wish this was better. Bruce and Alfred find out what we knew last month about Damien going off with the bad guy, then Bruce tells us a lot about him without actually telling us anything. Still, we get to a climax with Robin pointing a gun at the head of a slave trader. Let's see them go another month without advancing this after that.

Batwoman #5: Beautiful as ever, but the writing here feels a bit rushed in order to get the Weeping Woman stuff out of the way and have Bones give Kate the same gig as she should be on. Maybe I've been giving the writing too much of a free pass becasue of how this looks. I mean, if it's been building to this reveal of YET ANOTHER global crime operation running out of Gotham, doesn't this suggest Batman isn't really that effective? Not that I'd say it to his face, but maybe he should stick to shaking down petty thugs after people's fur coats after all. At least he seems able to cope with that.

Demon Knights #5: After last month's trip into GMoz territory this is far simpler but no less fun. The shooting of last week was just to cause pain and teach Exoristos, who in turn is revealed as a precursor to Wonder Woman (and who, secretly, I hope she turns out to be - continuity be damned). Merlin, Mordred and Morgaine all turn up as ghosts to push up the Arthurian content then BAM! Vandal Savage reveals his true colours and people get attcked by a giant stone rhinocerous. I'll just repeat that. A GIANT STONE RHINOCEROUS. You don't get that in your X-Mans now, do you? Eh?

Frankenstein #5: This tells the same story as OMAC#5, yet it's not the one being cancelled. GET BETTER STANDARDS, DC READERS. Still, Ray Palmer becomes The Atom (kind of) and Frankie is clearly going too shag Not Abe Sapien, despite the fact he's married. OOH, CONTROVERSIAL. Why can't this get cut instead?

Legion Lost #5: A fantastic cop-out ending as the bad guy gets shown he's actually done the right thing after all and the plague he was bringing is the next stage of human development to take us to THE FUTURE i.e. Legion-era proper. Then the Martian Manhunter talks up and gives one of those introductions where his name appears in a fancy font like it does on the cover of his own book when he speaks it - except of course he doesn't have his own book so this is the first time anybody sees it, and by G_d it's hideous. On the other hand, SPROCKING HELL, Gates is back! That's worth celebrating, isn't it? We were all supposed to thing he died a couple of issues back. Take your plusses where you find them, I say. Other wise you end up in Sadface territory, mark my words.

Suicide Squad #5: Floyd shoots lots of people, Diablo burns lots of other, King Shark has a light snack that JUST MIGHT extend his sentence. Oops. Amanda Waller has a conversation with her husband that rips off the guy in the power station in The Hand Of Fear, but since that's one of my favourite things ever I don't really care. She's then an absolute bitch to Floyd, mainly because she needs him to go straight back out on the road - it turns out Harley Quinn is much cleverer than she is and set up the whole thing. This undoubtedly links back into her being told the Joker was dead last time round, but it's hard to see how the Squad can do what they do and her remain alive which is kind of a limiting plot as far as the DCU is concerned. Never mind, this is still one of the highlight books of the Johnsiverse and commended to all of you.

Deathstroke #5: I should love a comic where somebody throws a nuclear submarine at somebody else, right? So why do I hate this? Well, first off they get to the aforementioned submarine throwing appropos of nothing. The thrower turns up on Page 16, then 17-18 and 19-20 are splash pages. Does that seem lazy? The rest is Deathstroke wandering round being GRUFF AND MANLY talking to himself, when he's not criticising trainees. He has an ice bath to show he's old and it's very nearly the most exciting thing that happens. A travesty.

Green Lantern #5: All you need to know about this is that Sinestro decomissions his giant yellow lantern, which means the Sinestro Lanterns don't exist any more. Presumably including the one that's currently in the Kyle Rayner book, but I'm betting not given we have such on-the-ball, continuity-monitoring editors and editors-in-chief. Sinestro them dumps Hal on Earth and lets him keep his ring but doesn't give him a lantern to charge it. Hal has a bit of a rage about it (unfortunately for him he's not sufficiently upset that the Red Lantern recruiting beacon which turns somebody on Earth into one at the same time wasn't looking at him, or maybe he just wasn't RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH enough) then has a bit of a snog with Carol. For the finale we cut to the Guardians who, in YET ANOTHER UTTERLY DICK MOVE decide they're going to create another army to replace the GLC. Because they Manhunters were such a success at that, obviously. Aw, little blue guys. Will you never learn?

Grifter #5: You know what this reminds me of? An Avatar book, designed to show off the talents of an artist who isn't really all that good. I couldn't care less about the blue ghosty things or the black curate, whoever that is, to be honest. Page 10 typifies what's wrong with the writing on this: Grifter shoots an alium on the last panel of P9 - in panel one he gloats and shouts about it bare-faced and wearing a jacket - in panel two it is shown he's surrounded by them only with the closest only about two feet away and they all spot him, he still is barefaced and wearing a jacket - in panel three he draws a gun out from his underpants, still wearing the jacket - in panel four he puts on his mask, while not wearing the jacket, and with both hands free - in panel five he takes the jacket off - in the first panel of the next page he's firing guns with both hands. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? I thought about saying Rob Liefeld isn't that incompetent, but he clearly is so that isn't a very good example. Any halfway decent artist isn't that incompetent. Does that work? This is an absolute chore to read and is arguably worse than Hawk & Dove. There, I said it.

Mister Terrific #5: Michael thinks his way out of the fight by setting everybody else free, then gets sadfaced about slavery in front of a picture of a panel which implies the 19th C slave traders used to throw their captives overboard in massive numbers for shits & giggles, which of course would have made complete economic sense... he then tries to draw a parallel between being black and being a hermaphrodite... who then blows up a spaceship with a blast of pure hermaphroditism. He then steps through a blue wibbly think and ends up in his lab, having been upstaged in his own book by every other character for the second month on the bounce. The end of this will be a mercy killing, but it's possibly more amazing this ever got the green light in the first place.

Resurrection Man #5: So, last issue's cliffhanger is resolved in that he only got hit so hard so he won't resurrect "on Earth". So how does an angel fix that? She gets on her mobile phone to Heaven and asks them to look for Mitch when he gets admitted to Heaven Hospital. Obviously. Deathstroke shows up and kills some people and a speech bubble saves a REALLY weird piece of art where a woman's arm shrinks by about 50% (and don't try and claim it's perspective, please). The script actually draws attention to it, although it's actually talking about a different character whose arm has ACTUALLY gone. THIS ALL SEEMS TO BE A FLASHBACK TO BEFORE THE BOOK STARTED. Maybe. It turns out in the end that the angel fucked up. So much for infallibility.

Superboy #5: Hmm. It is "impossible" for a superhuman (or a robot mimicking a superhuman) to lift three tons. Which isn't much heavier than most American cars. Do writers read anything these days? This also features a man turns into shadow dogs when he's annoyed, Superboy being Not Magneto and some bedroom antics. OK, that last one is a bit of a blind - some bad guys turn up in Superboy's room and call him names. I want to love this, but this is the most Wildstorm book in the Johnsiverse and I have no affection or nostalgia for it. A shame.

UPDATE!
Hawk & Dove cancelled two issues after Rob Liefeld made writer & artist, before a single one of his authorial issues ships.
FURTHER UPDATE!
Kyle Higgins and Joe Bennett fired off Deathstroke, to be replaced by writer/artist Rob Liefeld!
Artist-turned-writer Tony Daniel fired off The Savage Hawkman, to be replaced by artist-turned-writer Rob Liefeld!
One of (if not the) the only new-to-DC writers on The Nu52, Nathan Edmondson, fired off Grifter, to be replaced with 24-year-DC-veteran-without-ever-showing-one-iota-of-skill-development, Rob Liefeld.

I love that the answer to a Liefield comic being cancelled for low sales is more Liefeld. Maybe they want those other three to die too.

http://i1.cdnds.net/12/02/618x940/comics_deathstroke_rob_liefeld.jpg

There are claims online this is an X-Force cover of Cable which has been tracecd and re-drawn.

I like how he incorporated a life jacket into the outfit. Those are nice and soft looking shoulder whatever they ares.

Liefeld, still drawing shoulder pads on comic characters in 2012. You've got to love it.

DC2012 = Marvel 1992?

Only without the foil embossed covers.

YET

DC2012 = Marvel 1992?

given that and the creators hired, Didio's grand vision appears to be "be 90s Image" without the lateness

― Θ ̨Θƪ (sic), Monday, 9 January 2012 16:25 (1 week ago)

Batman #5: Umm. Wow. This is one of the best Batbooks of all time. There are undoubtedly times when people could compare it to GMoz's Batman of Zur-en-arrh, and I'm sure there have been some superb 'trapped Batman gets a bit deranged' stories in the past, but this is never less than brilliant. The raggedy Batman's disorientation leaps off the page, abetted by some good old-fashioned creative pagination, but the payoff has to be a hallucination, right? RIGHT? Why isn't it time for the next issue yet? This is how reading comics is supposed to feel.

DCU Presents Deadman #5: Is it wrong to be glad this is over and we'll (hopefully) get a better story next time round? This is basically a monologue about OOOH MYSTIC AAAH DO YOU SEE with the odd interjection from someone who wants to be a God but isn't up to the job yet. And a largely pointless fight at the end with weird observations from strangers - "Hey! I know that guy! We swapped spit!" might just be the standout. I guess there's an argument which says this is about 30 issues of Cerebus condensed to 20 pages but I'd rather read Dave Sim any day. Not great, but it's the Challs up next. Unfortunately it's written by Dan DiDio. Ho hum.

LoSH #5: After the conclusion of the plot in the last issue we get the semi-traditional 'look at the Legion in downtime' issue where nothing happens and we see personal lives. I don't mind these at all, but is issue 5 not maybe a bit early for one in the run of a series? Oh well. I know I always say 'for the fans' but it's more true than ever this month. NOT FOR YOU.

Nightwing #5: SPOOKYTIMES AT THE CIRCUS. The book we found last time maybe has something to do with demons and shit. This is not the direction I expected the book to go in. For me, this is not a good thing although I can live with it. Part of me wants it to go down the 9PM ON FOX route of it just being about a travelling circus where one of them dresses up to fight crime and fuck a hot chick off camera every week. I would read the shit out of that book. Someone should write it. Maybe I will.

Supergirl #5: Plot, plot and more plot. We get the background story that explains all the Superman stuff from the first couple of issues and we find out just about everything we needto know about Kara. Despite the stuff with Reign at the end this is pretty much all filler no thriller - I guess it's inevitable when you're setting up a new universe you have to explain things eventually, it just feels like this book is doing all the backstory first which instinctively seems wrong. It's still better than most of the Johnsiverse output at the end of the day though.

Wonder Woman #5: The first thing you need to know about this book is that Poseidon is now living in the River Thames. Actually, that's pretty much all you need to know. A giant talking fish and some mer-horses. Throw in a cameo fron Cerberus and you've pretty much got everything you could want. Marvellous. Is it wrong to want Lennox to the one from Animal Man rather than Constantine-lite?

Birds of Prey #5: Now with added lesbians! So it turns out the events of the previous issues may not now have happened, or if they did then everybody's forgotten about them. In fact, everybody seems to have amnesia in this, and Black Canary may have set up Starling but it'll probably turn out she didn't and it was all set up by our mystery exploding bad guys and nobody will remember anyway so they'll all go for a cup of coffee and a muffin and talk about guys they fancy but are out of their league and the latest ways to accessorise a cape with sexy crime-fighting boots. I think I like the bad books more than the good books these days.

Blue Beetle #5: A summary. The hero gives his best mate a beetle robot to make him better after trying to kill him last month, which turns him into Darth Maul at the end of the issue. The bad woman reveals herself as the bad woman, while simultaneously offending any Indians reading (Did you know they routinely blind orphans in ritualised ceremonies? Neither did I.) and almost but doesn't quite capture our hero. Meanwhile in space, the Older Than The Lanterns good/bad guys who own the scarab forget what they're supposed to be doing because they're going to fight a space elephant in Green Lantern New Guardians #10. Two issues after this title has been cancelled. You couldn't make it up. Although Tony Bedard obviously did.

Captain Atom #5: The good Captain has a dream, which he discusses at length with a terrapin. Then "some kind of organic bile" surrounds a diner. How do you fight organic bile? WITH ATOMS. Unfortunately it has weird mouth/arm things which are better than atoms, it seems according to the final panel. JT Krul gets paid for this, you know.

Catwoman #5: Judd Wimick does not understand physics. Falling half a mile out of the sky then stopping in a matter of feet is going to hurt more than dislocating your shoulder. And I'm not quite convinced it gives you the strength to punch out somebody who might be as powerful as Superman either. Throw in an opportunity to get nekkid and show Selina nekkid trying to get into bed with a masseur and HEY PRESTO that's DC today. So, Catwoman has all the money that bents cops in Gotham ever took which just happens to be in the same bag at the same time? WHO CARES. Just give us more T&A.

Green Lantern Corps #5: Lanterns grow like plants and act as fertiliser. Do you need any more than that? Now wonder the Keepers got pissed off when their World Manure got taken away by the little bald blue guys. Guy Gardner puts together a team of old hard men to go and beat them up. Anyone would think he'd been watching recent Stallone films. It turns out they need guns to do it so they steal them from Space Pirates. This cannot end well.

Red Hood #5: Arsenal shoots a dragon/gargoyle thing with an electric arrow, and then heats Starfire up with one of his special thermal arrows. Meanwhile Red Hood is fighting the half-headed ploice alium woman who seems to have gone all Witchblade on us. Still, he manages to kill her by pretending she's the Joker and Batman combined or something. Which, unsurprisingly since she's the police, doesn't endear himself to the locals. The gargoyle gets blown up with Roy's self-destruct device and we realise Starfire's powers aren't actually much use. "My power isn't a subtle one, Roy. It's pretty much set to "incinerate". I think we need a new plan." Then they all run away to the origin issue. I love that the editor of this book twice refers to the last issue and expresses surprise we don't remember exactly what happened in it. Anybody would think he thought this was a disposable portion of Thrill Power too. Still the biggest guilty pleasure of the Johnsiverse.

who's Batman by?

In a stunning twist of fate, I have managed to last longer on the books than one of the creative teams - John Rozum has announced he's left Static Shock.

― 50,000 raspberries with the face of Peter Ndlovu (aldo), Monday, 19 September 2011 21:45 (4 months ago)

John Rozum has now revealed the reason he left the book: it was "garbage" and "a total turd."

(Also the editor was an unsupportive interfering idiot, which I've freely inferred upthread as a reason for creators dropping like flies, but good to have it actually confirmed):

"I went into Static Shock with a lot of high hopes. Among them was showing that Static wasn’t simply an A-list character, but one of the most powerful in the DCnU. I really wanted this series to be fun and exciting and to bring the same degree of creativity to it that I put into Xombi balanced with making Virgil’s personal life at least as engaging as his superhero life. I also saw Static Shock as an excellent gateway through which to pull the rest of the Milestone characters into the DCnU.

"I quickly learned that none of these plans were going to see fruition. I wound up being shunted to the sidelines as the writer while Scott McDaniel’s “high concept” criminal syndicate made up of Power Rangers and a big monosyllabic thug took center stage and Harvey’s [nb: editor] ideas of the 2 Sharons and slicing off Static’s arm were implemented as desperate means of trying to draw attention to the book.

"I tried my best to keep it from being a total turd, but as I said, I was completely sidelined. My main contributions were the Pale Man character, Guillotina, naming the school after Dwayne McDuffie, and including Hardware, along with random lines of dialogue. I decided it was unethical to stick with a title that a) I thought was garbage b) that people were buying because of my involvement, due to Xombi, when really I had nothing to do with it c) because I wasn’t being utilized on the title.

"Frankly, Static deserved a lot better."

Ouch.

Batman is by Scott Snyder.

He was writing one of the Bat-books before the reboot to some acclaim, yeah? I believe I'm going to borrow the TPB off a friend, after he buys it.

More from Rozum, unfairly excerpted by me:

I've had people announce that due to the low quality of comic that they would no longer buy anything that had my name on it. I've had an editor at a publisher other than DC say they weren't interested in having me write for them because they thought Static Shock was a poor comic book series.

All of my ideas and suggestions were met with disdain, and Scott McDaniel lectured me on how my method for writing was wrong because it wasn't what the Robert McKee screenwriting book he read told him was the way to do things. The man who'd never written anything was suddenly more expert than me and the editor was agreeing with him. Scott had also never read a Static comic book, nor seen the cartoon series, yet was telling me that my dialogue didn't sound true to the character and would "fix it."

One of my scripts was deemed too slow because there were a total of 4 pages where no one was hitting or shooting anything.

Essentially my job was to transcribe Scott's voluminous and often clunky dialogue into a script format. Any efforts I made to try and finesse, edit, or reduce his dialogue or captions, offended him, and everything had to be changed back to how he'd originally written it, while my dialogue always required his improvement. Scott, to be fair, had a lot of great ideas, but did not have the writing skills necessary to make these ideas compelling stories, but was not willing to take any suggestions, or changes that I'd give him.

All Star Western #5: Gray and Palmiotti LOVE LOVE LOVE being in Gotham. The next stage of the plot has them being terrorised by the Miagani (from Batman: The Cult and retconned during Return of Bruce Wayne). Amadeus shits himself. Hex realises at the end he hates Gotham, but this may be because he's being attacked by a GIANT bat. This book really has taken on a new lease of life since moving to the city and I can easily see it running for years, if sales allow. In the backup which means the book is an extra buck, we get the origin of the Barbary Ghost. I'm not sure I wouldn't have the extra dollar tbh.

Aquaman #5: As this issues#'s joke at the expense of Aquaman makes clear, the Navy save Aquaman's life this month after he gets stuck and almost dies. In the middle of the desert. That must have been done before, no? Anyway, in the ACTUAL plot the Atlantean spaceship discovered down where the Trench live is revealed to be... ummm... an Atlantean spaceship. And the shocking secret behind Atlantis being destroyed is... ummm... Atlantis gets destroyed. If this was anyone other than GJ I'd suggest they were better than this. I'm not sure he is.

Batman The Dark Knight #5: I've reached the point where I'd like to know how much of the plotting is actually done by David Finch, but in this issue it probably doesn't matter much. We get some expansion on the Scarecrow reveal from the end of last month but OH NOES Bats is infected by the poison like Two-Face and the rest were in prior issues. Surprisingly, this makes his strong enough to punch out Superman. Unfortunately Supes isn't the one of the pair that does the detecting and so gets the effects wrong - it doesn't give Bats invincibility YA BIG DUMMY! Have you punche dhim to death? (The answer will be no, obviously, but nice cliffhanger.) Still on the good side of average, but with odd bursts of greatness.

Flash #5: This is still a blinding read, from the notion that Captain Cold's powers are WAY more powerful in the Johnsiverse to the revelation at the end that it's ALL the Flash's fault as the Speed Force (or manipulating it) REALLY fucks up space and time. They could have just read Flashpoint really, as that makes the same point far less well. Barry also seems to be chasing more than one woman - does this make him the Flash of Two Burds? Consistently thrill-powered whatever.

I, Vampire #5: As ever, gorgeous to look at but (and continuingly so) making no sense within the Johnsiverse. Batman turns up in this, so it's clearly in continuity. But how can it possibly be with the content? Boston, Star City, Los Angeles and others have seen horrific outbursts of violence and masses of the population have died and then become a plague of vampires on a Crossed level yet no superheroes noticed until now? One would expect, perhaps, that this will introduce zoning boundaries and no-fly zones for vigilantism and federal super-offences - like the Flash stopping chasing a bad guy because he's 10km outside Central City. I bet it doesn't. Still worth looking at though I'm probably not getting enough out of it to keep paying for it.

Justice League #5: I'm pretty sure "We got this" is the worst superhero cheer of the modern era. This is one of only a couple of minutes levity in a book of unrelenting Sadface. The other is Flash wishing he could fly, but an unintentional contender is Hal Jordan being so vacant and dumb he has no idea who MULTI-MILLIONAIRE AND GENERAL ALL-ROUND IMPORTANT GUY Bruce Wayne is. I'm pretty sure this is just a blip in the story, but this was two weeks late? I'm not really sure how much worse this would actually have been had it come out on time, but probably not much.

Justice League Dark #5: Hooray! The team actually forms! Unfortunately it's only for about a page as Constantine (somewhat inevitably) decides everyone else is crap compared to him. Throw in some low-level sexual behaviour (Zatanna french-kisses Shade to show him what a tongue tastes like), and Deadman desperate to get his end away now Dawn's dumped him and it's more of the same, really. A solid 'C', but probably ripe for cutting from pull lists.

Superman #5: This has about half as many words as the previous issues but the downside of this is that it makes half as much sense. I guess there was a reason for the swathes of text after all then. Supes defeats the aliums from before OR DOES HE, HMM? He speaks like he's reading a script and just kills people when he feels like it - surely this can't be the Man of Steel? Of course not, he's a cinder floating in Spain. (The download code to my Ultimate Spider-Man for the first to get that reference. See? Competitions and everything. Aren't I good to you?) Be here next month if you can be arsed. I'm not sure I can, and George Perez must be getting itchy feet too.

This book really has taken on a new lease of life since moving to the city and I can easily see it running for years, if sales allow.

This has been cancelled iirc

or maybe that's another Gray/Palmiotti joint

I hope not! The couple of issues of All Star Western I've read have been some of the best of the new 52.

It's not one of the announced ones, but I won't be that surprised as Jonah Hex always flirted with cancellation.

(Just checked the sales numbers, just under 30k in December - 3 times what Hex sold - which means there are 21 worse sellers in the New 52.)

DC has become the NBC of the comics world...but somehow more incompetent? It makes me wonder if the brass at Time Warner care enough about some of these properties to boot Didio out on his ass before every creator worth a toss refuses to do any further work for them.

I think I was thinking of Men Of War, sorry

The brass at Time Warner plainly don't have any comprehension of "the properties," let alone care

Rob Liefeld inking while driving and filming himself, nbd

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZ9hjJabvaI

this explains everything really

I sure hope GJ's new Shazam back-up finally injects some much-needed personal tragedy and teeth-gritting into the superhero who fights a genius worm with help from a sharp-dressed talking tiger.

The genius worm was already "grittified" in 53, wasn't it?

Sorry, I meant 52.

And then re-appeared in Action ungrittified again, last seen heading off into space.

But none of that matters, post-Flashpoint.

I obviously haven’t been tracking this one enough, but previously:
Stormwatch: #2 - fill-in artist added.

DC announce Paul Jenkins as fill-in-writer on Stormwatch #7 and #8.
Regular Paul Cornell allows that, actually, he’s walked off the book altogether.
HEY KIDS! Make sure you pick up Suicide Squad issues 6 and 7 for the crossover with Stormwatch #6’s explosive events!
HEY KIDS! Follow the ending of Stormwatch #6 in upcoming issues of Grifter and Voodoo, not in future issues of Stormwatch!
HEY KIDS! Don’t forget that fed-up and fucking-off writer Cornell’s Demon Knights is actually Ancient Stormwatch – you can’t afford to miss an issue!

UPDATE!

DECEMBER: Fill-in writer Paul Jenkins publicly announces that he’d like to stay on the book long-term:

Of course, there will be my takes on the characters and this will be a story I want to explore with these characters, so I'll end up putting my own stamp on it. And in fact, I've talked to DC about a couple of new characters. I have a couple in mind. It depends how long term we go.
Newsarama: Yeah, because you're just on the book for a couple issues, right?
Jenkins: That's right. Initially I'm coming to do two issues, and we'll see what happens after that. We'll find out how much we like working with each other, and we'll see if Stormwatch fits me and whether my ideas fit with their editorial vision for the book. And if so, maybe we'll do more. But at the moment, we've got a pretty cool two-issue arc laid out.

FURTHER UPDATE!

JANUARY:
Pete Milligan is booted off the stupidly titled Justice League Dark and assigned to Stormwatch.
Jeff Lemire is assigned JL DAKEN: DARK WOLVERINE, with the mandate to draw it closer to JUSTICE LEAGUE BRIGHT and work with Geoff Johns on making the two books mesh together.

Note that both Jenkins and Milligan, on their ONE-MONTH-APART Formal Official Newsarama entrance PR interviews, talk extensively about how they don’t want to mess around with the editor’s choice of characters or the editor’s “direction” for the book. Note also that in nine months, the editor has required three different writers to attempt to enact this direction with these characters.

(There’s also a new fill-in artist on Jenkins’ second fill-in issue. This is actually positive, if it means the ongoing creative team get a better chance to gel from the start.)

after reading the bullshit regarding Static Shock's "editorial direction" I am starting to think the editors are just jerking people around

Blackhawks #5: DEAD BOOK WALKING. This even feels like it was rewritten once cancellation was announced to make it feel like they weren't really bvothered because it was only ever going to be eight books, DO YOU SEE it's there all in the writing DO YOU SEE. The threat from the previous issues is beaten by dropping a penny from the top of the Empire State Building a tungsten rod from space then somebody else goes to rescue the guys in a spaceship BECAUSE HE'S A PILOT. It's not all moustaches and airport hotels, you know. Then at the end the woman who was a living computer before is infected by the just killed baddie. Oh, you said 8 issues and not 6. That explains it.

Green Lantern New Guardians #5: So this whole poltline takes place before Red Lanterns #3? Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight... Anyway, this kind of does exactly what you'd expect it to. It turns out the whole plan about them going to get the guy who allegedly stole the rings is all a big Larfleeze revenge idea because he's a prick. Which maybe makes him the most Johnsiverse Lantern of them all. It looks like all the planets in the Giant Celestial Model of Doom are, in fact, planets we (or the characters in the book) know well. And at the end a whole new BEST EVER GIANTEST MOST EVIL MOST GOOD BESTEST LANTERN EMENY EVARR turn up. Ho hum.

Savage Hawkman #5: Is it just me, or did this nearly get good? Hawkman's zombie hallucinations are all linked to the introduction of the Gentleman Ghost who actually looks like an EXCITING CHARACTER this time round after ditching the 60s camp. And the build up to the reveal is pretty exciting to - the pacing is good and somehow the art has actually got readable and clear. The punk computer kid is still a huge mis-step but I'd almost consider buying this again on the evidence of this issue (if I was stupid enough to buy more DC books and not just rob them so I an read the crap ones).

Teen Titans #5: I'm not sure when I cancelled this, but I did. Oh well. As Kid Flash says "it involves a lot of hitting". I'm not sure reading it whether Superboy's mind powers aren't cheating on some way. Does this make him too powerful? (Who am I kidding, this is the guy who previously punched the universe...) There's a knock-down slugfight as the Titans attack Superboy one at a time (including typos such as "this lasso is a GRIFT from the Gods") including him headbutting a GURL but then after a philosophical discussion he decides he doesn't want any of it after all and just flies off leaving them behind. The next issue features "the most unexpected guest star of all" - I don't think they realise what I'm capable of expecting. Doiby Dickles? Comet the Super-Horse? Extrano? I CAN(NOT) WAIT.

Firestorm #5: This is just some kind of weird Cold War throwback at this stage, with a couple of modern concessions such as a non-comedy black character. Oh look, a Quraci suicide bomber. And Russia wants to take over the world. Expect some commentary on the War on Drugs next time, and maybe somebody talking about looking forward to that new TV series The A Team. Nearly unreadable.

Voodoo #5: Clones, half-breeds, big chomping dinosaur mouths, bewbs. This should be fun but isn't. It's just so keyed into Wildstorm history that I can't get into it. The closest I can get is to say it's not awful. There are plenty of worse books than this, but I can see cancellation looming - there's just no way this is anybody's favourite.

haha I am totally loving Voodoo

(including typos such as "this lasso is a GRIFT from the Gods")

morelike amazingly clever wordplay hinting at a Wildstorm character appearance amirite

No, I just think it's ineptitude. But it's not like DC's current editors are capable of that, right?

Dan, I completely see how people could love Voodoo. But I guess it's how people who aren't LoSH fans feel when they try and read Legion Lost.

It's very odd, they decided to go whole hog with the section of the Wildstorm universe that I mostly ignored (I was always way more team Stormwatch/Authority than team WildCATS, with occasional diversions into Gen13/DV8) and my basic verdict is the exact opposite of how I felt about the characters when they were still in the Wildstorm universe, where I thought Voodoo was a wasted character, Grifter was occasionally entertaining and I would devour anything Stormwatch/Authority-related starting with Ellis's run.

I haven't picked up an issue of nu-Stormwatch since #1 but it pissed me off to so much that Cornell's team was basically "the white ppl from The Authority + Martian Manhunter and some nobodies" that I have no interest in seeing if it got better. Swift was a great character mostly because she didn't have a ridiculously flashy power but she was still a badass and credible as a member of The Authority and excising her in favor of some random made-up characters was intensely annoying, particularly when there were a ton of interesting Stormwatch characters to choose from (Battalion, Flint, Fahrenheit, Fuji, Hellstrike, Winter, Rose Tattoo, Synergy) if you wanted to do more than just "The Authority in the DC Universe".

lol I googled "grift typo titans" to read the page myself and http://www.bleedingcool.com/forums/dc-comics/54437-teen-titans-typo-%5Ctisn%5Ct.html

Some serious benefit of the doubt being given there imo.

Action Comics #6: I accidentally read the review of this on CBR before the comic and can't help agree with what was written there - this could be where a lot of people fall out of love with GMoz. I think the easiest criticism is that it seems to wilfully obscure itself. The villains from the last issue are (potentially) dispensed with in a couple of panels with no explanation of who they ever were; the plot detailed at the beginning of the issue doesn't actually happen; the issue takes place in more than one time zone; the resolution is never explained; the closest thing the issue has to a main character happened previously to Superman in another (untold) story which is explained through telepathy... do you see what I'm getting at? It feels like he's taking the piss, almost. I do actually like it, but I don't know why. Plus we get the least worst Solly Fisch backup to date. So not all bad news.

Animal Man #6: Great stuff, but do we really need a non-plot issue less than six months in? I'm guessing it's to let Swamp Thing do what it needs to do before they run with the same story, but all the same... this is about a film Buddy made back when he was an actor. It's all about a guy who shouldn't really be a hero because it's fucking up his home life but he can't stay away. All a bit DO YOU SEE but well written and with great art (it looks like Daredevil). Just an oddity.

Batwing #6: I definitely cancelled this, but it turned up anyway. Oh well. "Three years ago" "Giza, Egypt" "One year ago" - boy, this flashes back and forward. And ends up in issue 1. It turns out the baddie is one of Batwang's old mates from when he was a mercenary but with some kind of augmentation so he can't feel pain (yes, in the same year as Bane hits the big screen) and is on his way to Gotham to kill some gay African superheroes. Despite this we still don't find out why Massacre is after the members of The Kingdom. C'mon guys, throw us some crumbs here? The final page shows Nightwing and Robin (meaning this is either in another universe from B&R or in another time?) joining in as one big giant Batfamily. Gotta catch 'em all!

Detective Comics #6: Next month, Carlsberg sues DC. Seriously, the logo of the Penguin's casino is a direct rip-off, to the extent it even has the same flourish underneath which makes zero sense if it doesn't start with a C. This is pretty good though, although arguably more of an explanatory book with no real signs of resolving anything. We find out who some of the bad guys are and by the end of the issue Bats has done enough detecting (or just plain beating people up tbh) to be at the same position as we are. Can we wrap this plot up soon? Thanks.

OMAC #6: KIRBY KNOCKDOWN FIGHTY GOODNESS. One of the Furies turns up looking for Mother Box in a restaurant (actually, she's the recruitment consultant from previous issues) and we get a bit more interaction between Maxwell Lord and Brother Eye. Then a Kord Industries employee fails to shoot Lord. Wait a minute, KORD Industries? Ted Kord is in the Johnsiverse? Why have we got such a shitty Blue Beetle then? And this book only has two issues to go. Honestly, it's like DC aren't pandering exactly to me or something. Buck up your ideas chaps.

Red Lanterns #6: Yet more "Britain isn't in America" shouting by me is imminent. Oxford appears to be in Florida and the police here routinely carry billy clubs and tazers which they use whenever they feel like. An awful lot of the dialogue in this is GRAAARRRRRR RARRRRR etc, but Milligan has already undone his own plotting. So the Red Lanterns have conventional thoughts, it's just that they can't speak? How does that square with brainless rage machines that have to get thrown in the sea of blood to be self-aware? We get a bit of a fight between Atrocitus and Bleez, which frankly is only in there as an excuse to show us her arse and then next month is teased with Guy Gardner turning up. So where is this in relation to Green Lantern Corps, where Guy's in space stealing guns to fight lantern farmers? My head hurts trying to keep all these together.

Stormwatch #6: OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE. "To find out why see Superman #7" ON THE FIRST FUCKING PAGE. Oh and that picture of Jenny near the end. SHE'S A CHILD, NOT A FUCKING DWARF. Can we pretend this never happened? It turns out the ship is nanobots held together by a tortured Daemonite, which works because Jack has realised that means it's a city. So he persuades it not blow up. In other news, Midnighter comes out as gay which makes him extra considerate of children, apparently. MAKE IT STOP.

Swamp Thing #6: Impossible to describe without major spoilers, this is the best issue yet. Beautiful and horrible and near-perfect. This is such a good book I may even buy the collection. You should too.

Green Arrow #6: So, gun woman can't shoot as she misses Ollie's head from point blank range. But that's all right because it gives him the chance to tell us he's in Justice League #8 while his mate puts a sticking plaster on the graze. It turns out she's an ex-gf of Ollies only she doesn't recognise him and he doesn't recognise her. And then she's a robot. Who gets blown up. Ollie has a beer to celebrate. Ann Nocenti can't make this worse. That's damning with faint praise.

Hawk & Dove #6: Things Rob Liefeld does not understand; a list.

Perspective
Anatomy
The age of children
Scale
Sexuality
Feet
Standing upright
Kneeling
Physics
The meaning of infinity
Harry Potter
Physical strength
Hawk
Batman
Sarcasm

So, not much wrong with this, then. Why not turn over the whole line to him?

(I have just remembered I quite liked the last Hawkman, but Rob's taking that over soon which is a good reason not to put it back on a pull list.)

Justice League International #6: Shit. The team that has existed for the previous 5 issues now actually exists. Godiva defuses a bomb with her hair, which is possibly more useful than wanking Batman off with it (although maybe Bats doesn't agree). There are lots of panels which are just pointless staged shots. IT'S NOT THE EIGHTIES ANY MORE.

Men of War #6: It'll be a mercy killing when this Rock series gets cancelled. Super invincible impossibly old soldiers get beaten by a bloke nobody knew had superpowers shooting light out of his ears, or something. This magically moves the ropes off Rock's mates and ties up the bad guys in an instant, who he then decides just to let go after they've had a nice chat. It actually reads like this is the end of Rock. Dropped from your own book before it gets cancelled. Now that's ignominy. The backup is pretty good though - although the fact it's by John Arcudi and Rich Corben exposes it for the throwaway Hellboy plot it is. Not good enough.

Static Shock #6: In which he is joined by his friends Hardware and Technique. And then the all-black X-Men get invented on the last two pages. That's the best thing I can think of to say about it. It's just a chore to read now.

It'll be a mercy killing when this Rock series gets cancelled.

already done!

me four weeks ago:

UPDATE!
Ivan Brandon is reported to have walked off Men Of War after #6 due to due to frustration with the heavy-handed editorial meddling and micro-management. DC is like “pfft what? That’s silly, everything’s totes chill over here, everything’s under control".
FURTHER UPDATE!
Men Of War #7 will contain not one but TWO separate fill-in stories, by James Robinson and HEROIC MAN OF THE HOUR J.T. Krul!

EZ Snappin three weeks ago:
first cancellations announced, all ending with issue 8 (leaving the final two out of the already announced collections - way to go DC!):

BLACKHAWKS, HAWK AND DOVE, MEN OF WAR, MISTER TERRIFIC, O.M.A.C. and STATIC SHOCK

Yeah I know, but it's not nearly soon enough.

are the "black X-Men" the Blood Syndicate, or did they invent pointless new characters?

No, they just all decide to live in Alva House. "It's a special... school. There are others there that know exactly what you've gone through."

Google only offers skyrim answers, so I'm guessing it's new. (NB I think it's in Harlem. The text isn't clear on that though.)

Action 6 was the first Morrison comic (well, besides that Joker all-text issue) that I just couldn't wait to be over. Though I knew I'd read all the previous issues, this made me feel as though I'd missed a whole bunch somehow. And the Legion stuff... fuck the Legion. The Legion is so fucking boring.

HEY FUCK YOU on behalf of Siegel, teenage-only Shooter, and Giffen. The rest I can't argue with*


*actually I <3 Levitz' second solo run too, but wouldn't throw someone into its deep, soapy end

No no, fuck the boring Legion is about right.

JERRY SIEGEL! KEITH GIFFEN!

To be fair, I haven't read "the good" Legion stuff, it's just they're so shiny and plastic and camp and 1950s-Jetsons-future and dull and dated and stupid that every time they appear in something I actually like my heart sinks. specially when that something, like Action 6, is reduced to gibberish by my lack of assumed knowledge.