Boobs, I mean, Bras, and the eternal frustration

Spent all day dragging the straps back onto my shoulders and hooking the back down to do some supporting instead of crawling up to my neck under my clothes. HELLLLLP MEEEEEE

Yeah, it might be worth a shot going down a band size? I was forever fiddling with the strap adjustment, thinking that if I kept lenghthening the straps, it would help with the ride-up. . . but no dice.

xpost to E. Laurel, that sucks!

Hahah that bra is terrible, I'd throw it out but it's my last one in black. Time to drag my boobs to Macy's and do some shopping.

I need to do this but I'm afraid they'll tell me the size I'm wearing is too big and I need to go down.

This.

I don't understand why that would matter if the bra fit.

I can understand thinking that going down would be more binding/uncomfortable, but the riding up thing is really uncomfortable as well!

Bra lady also explained to me how the underwire should lie--again, a revelation.

xps

I kinda feel like I have found a new calling.

yay! another bra evangelist. i can go on and on and ON about fit, because having the right size made an incredible diff in comfort, and how i looked, too. i gained an inch in my bust measurement because i'd been squashed down!

laurel--the back riding up means your band size might be too big. that might help yr strap problem too. http://www.breakoutbras.com/sizing

(when trying on bras, keep going up a cup size, until you find a cup that's too big. the size under that is your size, even if it seems like a crazy size.)

(isn't it crazy how the underwire should lie? and having it flat in the middle--did not know that was POSSIBLE.)

also, those crazy alphabet cup sizes? they're not what you think. this is from thinandcurvy.com, showing the diff in band sizes and how they change her profile:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-CKU61X3PimM/TdwMi0xYIPI/AAAAAAAABcQ/QylXzgfBRyg/s640/bra_band_size_compare_30GG_28H_26HH.jpg

Mine always lay flat in the middle but I don't think they go as far back into the armpit as the ones in the proper pics do? That's it. I'm getting fitted this weekend.

Oh I know, the band is on the smallest hooks already and it's so worn out it doesn't hold anything, basically. I just hate to throw bras out before the fabric actually splits apart.

erica, if you hate bras and don't have huge knockers or shape issues, what about doing the underwire-less bra? those look way more comfy than reg bras.

i NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED to get sized bc i haven't own a comfortable bra in many many many years, but i just can't stomach flashing my boobs at some strange lady (i know i know i'm such a sissy, i need to harden up etc.)

what is the difference between adding letters (dddddd) and going up a letter (to single e or whatever)?

are the sizes at all consistent across brands?

― mookieproof, Wednesday, January 11, 2012 6:38 PM (55 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

To answer your second question, not even close. There are size charts linked from this page that demonstrate this and answer your first question.

http://www.herroom.com/find-the-right-bra-size,940,30.html

^^^that is kind of insane!

it seems like there should be money to be made in doing this stuff properly, like sizes that make sense and everything?

otoh maybe women's attire is a cartel, as it seems (in my v. limited experience) that many things 'for women' are mysteriously more expensive than 'unisex' or 'male' things

Women's clothing sizes aren't standardized in the US Mooks so a size 10 from one store might be totally different than that from another. It's ridiculous and maddening tbh.

Although tbh the variety of sizing and the different fit models does allow women a slightly greater chance of choosing a brand/fit model that most resembles their actual bodies. It takes a lot of doing, though. And it means that the numbers in sizes are almost completely meaningless, except to distinguish one garment from another.

inevitably if i shop for jeans there will be exactly one pair in the store that fits me, at best, but i guess the sizes are at least supposed to correspond to waist/inseam inches in theory. and presumably the number in (american) bra sizes is inches, right?

the idea of 'dress sizes' as even numbers is just madness tho. there must be a better way?

anyway, sorry -- i am clueless and don't mean to hijack or anything, god bless us every one

Don't apologize! The eternal frustration of finding clothes that make us happy knows no gender.

E, I now realize that the underwire (if any, but even wire-free bra's have some sort of, er, cup-shaping-boob-stabilizing fabric construction where a wire would be) should lie down the vertical midline of your armpit and have no direct contact whatsoever with anything resembling boob flesh! It belongs further under your armpit than that!

wow I should go to bed before my writing gets any worse

But I will continue. . .

Justine, I would like to think that ladies would quickly get over any discomfort about having boobs hanging out if I were their bra expert. Like, with my lady, it was "sure I can take off my shirt." But it did feel a little weird to then take off my bra and have my boobs all hanging out with this person I just met like 23 seconds beforehand, but her very knowlegable and efficient manner made it feel A-OK in just moments, really.

i'm so happy about your boob/bra revelation!
i've had fittings and currently have two really great bras right now, but need a few more, so will go back to a couple of boutiques where knowledgeable ladies work. yaay well-fitting bras!

xp i know, i just can't quite work up the courage :/ so lame

The boob revelation has also helped me come to a conclusion about a "Weight Watchers vs. New Pants" thing that I have given more thought to than I really should have. I almost wrote about it in the sandbox on the no boys thread or whatever thread it was that we were talking about body image stuff, but I held off. . .

Anyway, FUCK THIS SHIT, I am buying new pants. DEAL WITH IT.

Justine, in my imaginary bra shop, I would be uber-sensitive to ladies who did not feel comfortable stripping down--that's not lame, it's just where they are! You work with people where they are!

So if stripping down didn't feel right, I would help you find a great bra by having you go into a dressing room and take off your top and bra, then don a button-down oxford, and I'd do measurements over the shirt. When it came time to try bras, I'd have you put them on privately and then put a thin, stretchy white T-shirt over it, and I could have a look (without seeing bare skin) at the bras under it and go from there.

Yeah it is so hard to find trousers that fit and are comfortable, whatever size you are. I seriously have to take off any trousers as soon as I get home, apart from my 'fat jeans' which are just jeans that are from Old Navy and therefore fit terribly.

Thing is, I can spend money, time, energy, and mental strife on losing 8-10 lbs to fit into my pants, or I can buy new pants.

Buying new pants for me is a bit of a committment, because my job requires business attire; new pants basically means I need new *suits*. These are pricey and a pain in the ass to find for a chick who is almost six feet tall, and they *always* require tailoring, which is more cash.

But I am going to use common goddamn sense (along with embracing the "Body Acceptance 2012" motto) and just buy new clothes rather than trying to fit my (not overweight) body into my old clothes.

Can I get a "hell yeah" from the crowd?

Hell yeah!

HEEELL YEAH!

p.s. hurry up and open your bra boutique already, i really need some bras

sure!

Thank you for the votes of "wtf is wrong with you, just buy bigger pants!"

It is frightening to me that I was really thinking that the "correct" answer was to lose weight to fit into my old pants.

ILXchixors have been a really great influence on me, and I thank you.

Meanwhile, problem with bra boutique would be sourcing great, high-quality bras that ANY lady could afford. I realize I am lucky and exceptional in that I could go to Nordstrom and drop, er, upwards of 200 bucks on 4 bras. Note that I did have some x-mas returns that offset that. But c'mon, 50-60 bucks per bra is not part of my hypothetical bra boutique plan.

hell yeah!

xp
lol the four bras i have right now that fit me properly and look good are two $50+ bras i bought at a montreal boutique and two $12 bras i bought last fall at a walmart in southern ontario. though the latter aren't going to hold up for much longer, i'm feeling.

and they are all the same size! 36C!

Anyway, FUCK THIS SHIT, I am buying new pants. DEAL WITH IT.

― quincie, Wednesday, January 11, 2012 11:21 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

hell yeah!

another vote for Hell yeah!

I checked this morning and the cups def don't go back far enough under my arms. Total boob flesh contact! >:O I think I'll wait until next month when I have $$ again because I want to get some nice ones but I'm v excited now to see what happens.

I like Natori bra styles, but they're definitely $50-70 each. And that's not that expensive--other bras I like are 80$-100, not that I've ever bought one in that range.

When I was in college I worked in a clothing store on Fire Island where I met this lady (friends with the owner) who owned a really fancy shmancy lingerie store in the city that I always wanted to go to. It used to be in magazines and stuff. Pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to afford anything there but I'm sure it was all amazing.

Oh I just remembered that it was on University Pl. This is is: http://nymag.com/listings/stores/la_petite_coquette/

Wish I could go there to check it out.

ENBB, I was looking at night gowns on their website and thinking well, those might be what I'm looking for, oh hang on $325?? For cotton??

lol, yeah

IIRC the shop used to be by appointment only at one point. The lady was European and nuts but she sure knew her stuff about lingerie. If I knew then what I know now I'd totally have tried to score some free (or heavily heavily discounted) loot.

And another hell yeah here.

I had a couple of bra fitting sessions when I was young and thin(ner) and I was nervous but both times I got awesome matronly ladies in their late 50s or early 60s which was just fine.

But now my town's department store lingerie dept is staffed entirely by super-skinny, super-made-up teenagers, who I imagine spending their breaks going "oh my goddddd, I know, right" about their more unreasonable or whale-like customers, and, oh, the thought of baring this much flesh, and asking them to probe its saggier folds... (shudder)

I suppose I have been lucky that my GP's practice nurse has always been older than me by enough to feel only slightly terrible about smear tests etc, but it's getting increasingly untenable to hope to be measured or felt or scraped only by people at least a decade older than me. ho hum

For some reason GYN appointments and bra fittings (I've done it before just years ago) have never bothered me at all even though I'm pretty modest body-wise in most situations. I just remind myself that they've seen it all before and that's it's their job. They're not even looking at your really - just going through the motions of the task at hand. That's always helped me a lot.

I think that assisting with/being present for gyn appointments drove this point home even more for me when I realized that I had just seen a total strangers most intimate parts but that I really hadn't even noticed or registered it as strange at the time.

if you're getting fitted in a dept store, best to go somewhere that they have a wide range of sizes. once i got fitted at von maur (midwestern suburban store) and they put me in a size that they carried rather than my actual size. much easier to sell me lots if they have a variety of choices in my size, i suppose. it was a bigger size than i'd been wearing, but still wrong!

i've heard that this is common. victoria's secret is known for sizing like this, but other places too. (so it's good to measure yourself in addition to having it professionally done, to have an idea)

Space Cadet, I would not want a tittering youngster to size me for a bra, either.

Lane Bryant will TOTALLY lie about your bra size to sell you their shitty bras*. One aggressive sales person was pushing their bras during a BOGO sale. When. Told her they didn't carry my size, she insisted that my size was wrong and that I should try on some 42DD bullshit.

God I hate that store.

*I think I've mentioned this, but on days when I can't mentally deal with strapping into a proper underwire, or when I don't care what my "silhouette" looks like, I wear LB cotton no underwire bras. They are not the correct size but they're comfortable and close enough.

I think that assisting with/being present for gyn appointments drove this point home even more for me when I realized that I had just seen a total strangers most intimate parts but that I really hadn't even noticed or registered it as strange at the time.

I just this morning put my finger in an older gentlemans butt and it was the most w/e situation

Heeeellll yeah, Quincie. Also: which Nordstrom? Friendship Heights? I am the :-( silhouette in the illustration above.