Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

Every time I log in and see no one has looked at my profile in days, nor do I have any messages, I think the same thing: "Well, good to know I am still irresistible to the opposite sex!"

I have far better luck irl

I'm even on the verge of removing my bookmark from this thread. Close to full-scale abandonment.

I haven't logged into this site in weeks if not more than a month, I never updated my profile, and a friend of a friend (who my friend actually kind of dated) has sent me a message that I believe is a date proposition. I am not really interested in her romantically so I uh, just haven't logged into the site to avoid confronting this. Oddly, I have talked to her on other online communication and it hasn't been mentioned.

Dating someone I met on OKCupid for 7 weeks now

6 days in, and I haven't met up with anyone yet, but I at least have some back and forth going with 2 people. Both of them messaged me first, I kind of feel like I'm not doing something right, because I haven't gotten any responses from my unsolicited messages.

Eh, thats how it goes basically. The hit rate is 90% against favor, I found. Maybe its easier if you look really hot or somethign I dunno. Ppl claim women get inundated on OKC but I never did.

That's kind of what I thought, it's not like i'm sending creepy messages or anything but they are probably getting lost in the noise. I am realizing how important timing is though, Sunday someone deleted her profile while I was typing her the initial "Hi!" message.

a friend of a friend (who my friend actually kind of dated) has sent me a message that I believe is a date proposition. I am not really interested in her romantically so I uh, just haven't logged into the site to avoid confronting this. Oddly, I have talked to her on other online communication and it hasn't been mentioned.

dude maybe her message was just like "lol found you"

nah I saw the first few lines

I think I'm having a date on Sunday! Confirmation TBC. Kind of excited tbh!

I disabled my account pending future revision and possible action

That's great Laurel! Be excited!

I need to know the secret of not getting drunk and making out with dates, tbh. Feel like as a grown-up woman, I should be better at this by now.

^^ I am horrible at this too fwiw. The not making out, not being a grown-up woman.

I never know when to pull the plug, is my problem. Like if I'm having fun, talking & being talked to & flirting, then I'll just want to stay out forever, and the drinking keeps happening, and I do NOT have the knack of the two-drink date and leaving while I'm still ahead.

I kind of can't say no to the attention/tension, however superficial it is.

I have this dorky schoolboy thing where if I ended up seated next to a date at some point I end up kind of sitting close and kind of "accidentally" touching her hand until pretty soon we're kind of holding hands?

Seems even dorkier typing it, but this just seems to be a thing I do, especially if drinking

Yeah, no, I totally do that. Also smoking outside so easily turns into standing closer and closer together.

I guess judging just by the contents of my posts to this thread, I could stop drinking and smoking...but seriously now.

good luck w/the date! but out of curiosity, why the ban on making out? isn't that part of the fun?

I don't know! I should just Do Whatever I Want and own it. But I can't help feeling like the making out in and of itself seems like a super-fun thing that I'll want to repeat, which has probably led to more second and third dates and then they become "relationships" in my life when it should have just been...making out.

So probably it would be better if I learned to cut that off before the relationship part, but historically I never have.

^^ I do this, too. I am pretty much either the "I think that was a date I went on, and we hung out a few times" or "I was in a six month relationship" guy. Really could use a happy medium. Or more variety.

yay laurel!

i am pro drinking and making out, obvs.

my new okc crush plays in a gamelan ensemble among other things! but we don't have any plans to hang out yet despite exchanging 50+ multi-paragraph messages AND he is only looking for "new friends" :/

congrats laurel! I was supposed to have a date today but it fell through and now I'm going to be on the road until the end of the month. ehh.

that's a lot of messages bg!

have date tmr, and the lazy part of me realllly wants to cancel b/c of how much of a pain the 7 train service change is...

out with people off of okcupid sunday, monday, tuesday, thursday and tonight and tomorrow and sunday and maybe tonight's again on monday.

whoa
i'm both impressed and freaked out, but the latter only because i would never ever be able to do that - too many people, too much small talk, would make me want to stay inside and read for a week

i have been dating the same guy for like 2 months now! approaching relationship status... we shall see. i only feel slightly weird abt it because i didn't get the chance to date a bunch of other people, which is what i thought wld happen, but i know that's kind of silly.

I just pissed someone off by email, he told me, "This conversation is over." Because I questioned why his desired age range, which only went up to 4 years younger than him. He said it was because he was used to dating shorter women(!!!!), and then blamed someone his age who scarred him by wanting to get married and have children.

Yeah, gotta watch out for that growth spurt between ages 36 and 40.

younger -> shorter

panicked language issue, weird freudian slip, or admission of guilt? you be the judge!

we shall call him "shorteyes"

oh man, I was talking to a friend about how I hadn't really dated a woman taller than me before:

"I don't know, I'm not good at approaching women anyway. How would I approach a taller woman?"

Her: "You could probably sneak up behind her if she's taller"

I just pissed someone off also. He seemed interesting but wrote a somewhat passive-aggressive email suggesting a date. I thought I'd 'give him a go for various reasons but gently teased him about the message style. He told me he didn't expect me to be so business-like' in my response. Then I suggested a time and day, and he disappeared.

Shorter! Classic.

Her: "You could probably sneak up behind her if she's taller"

Guffaw

I have no idea why I'm looking at that stupid site again. After my (OKC-originated) relationship blew up in my face last year, I've felt increasingly-convinced that I just need to come seriously to terms with being alone. Seeing my current OKC matches (none of which even break 90%), I think I've probably been on the right track. </bitter>

(I should point out, btw, that OKC is only one of the venues within which my bad dating luck has played out in recent years.)

laurel, how'd the date go on sat??

did it get snowed in?

It got flued out, annoyingly. After I got all nervous and everything. Trying to reched but we have opposite schedules.

earlier tonight, when i was ending the thing with the okc girl...

― your pain is probably equal (Z S), Friday, November 18, 2011 7:22 PM (2 months ago)

holy shit, i'm STILL trying to end things with okc girl. uuuuugh. i mean, things did sorta end, but then about 3-4 weeks later we ended up seeing each other again, and then.

uuuuugh

My date never called back to resched. Back to square #1.

I know this isn't helping you ZS, but the phrase "okc girl" keeps reminding me of the snorg girl.

Not helping at all I presume.

i will note that adam schefter's use of GAAAAAH on the snorg girl thread is incorrect. GAAAAAH is when you have the lovey doveys

that is true actually. Godspeed ZS, move on beyond her and flame on!

My date never called back to resched. Back to square #1.

boo.

i've remained on okc out of laziness but i've been told i should check out match

the more time you put into it, the more response you get. This is both because people want to see who looked at them and because OKC tries to keep you engaged so it routs people to you

I looked at the profiles of a handful of people I could be interested in, some of them multiple times, but apparently they either never looked back at me (hidden browsing, I assume) or didn't like my prof enough to write. Kind of feel like writing to them now would be desperate pestering. Kind of meh about whole thing if the dudes I like the sound of aren't interested.

i also would not like to belong to any club etc

yeah i know the more i do, the more response i get. i think my not having logged on is my subconscious telling me that i need a break. i'm tired of seeing the same people in my list of high matches.

also laurel if they're browsing privately, i think they can't see that you've looked at them.

it's only since i've come to this thread that i learned the value of openly browsing.

Oh, that's a good point, I forgot you can't see others if you go hidden. I should write to some dudes, I guess.

I kind of have this issue where I'm sort of unenthusiastic about dating and hoping someone else's enthusiasm for me will pull me into it without my having to work hard to convince some stranger that I'm cool enough for him to want to meet. Toootally irresponsible and one-sided, I know.

Still dating someone I met on OKC in November.

i've remained on okc out of laziness but i've been told i should check out match

― rayuela, Friday, February 3, 2012 7:45 PM

Eh, my experience with Match.com was most of the folks were just boring professionals without any unique qualities. Others on there seemed obsessed with exercise and triathalons too, if that's your thing (or maybe that's just the W. DC area).

i'm running an experiment and trying to diversify my samples. okc will be the control group, match will be the variable.