Aldo reads DC's New 52 (So you don't have to)

Wait, does the Johnsiverse extend to say...DARKEST NIGHT as well? This is an important hair to split.

dym Blackest Night? if so I would split the hair into proto-Johnsiverse, as Aldo is using it (since all his GL stuff is apparently still in continuity).

although I think Johnsiverse is unfair - I find his entire ouevre repellent, but get the impression that he genuinely does have a good grasp on broad-range plotting and making bits of continuity fit together in a coherent enough manner, if you like his style. if he and Morrison had been able to draw up a forward plan for the reboot, it could well have made sense; instead, the Didioverse/Leeiverse/Nelsoniverse plainly would have struggled to be fucked up any worse if they'd aimed to do so from the start.

That Batman bit with the owls is going pretty well, imo

I feel like a dork for saying so, even in this context, but Superman's new costume is still creeping me out.

All the titles I'm reading out of the reboot now feel like they're moving too slowly, but maybe for ACTION and HEX. I suspect I'm not cut out to read serials anymore.

NEW YEAR! SAME SHIT!

(btw I use Johnsiverse because it's post-Flashpoint universe, which implies the concepts and what's in/what's out is his doing - or else we have to assume somebody else came up with the resolution for Flashpoint and he was just writing to order, which you would have thought might have been credited somewhere.)

Action Comics #5: GMoz fails to disappoint once more, but you know what? This all feels a bit unnecessary. Nothing is substantially different in the origin to John Byrne's established continuity (apart from the Kents being younger, I guess) and the BRAND NEW GMOZ BAD GUYS are kind of GMoz by numbers. I would reckon we will continue to get a couple of pages of this plot every issue until a 6 part CONCLUDING EPIC YOU SHOULD NOT MISS. After the unrestrained 60s joy of ASS this seems to be treading water, but since it's better written than 90% of the other books out there I can put up with it. Scholly Fisch's bank balance says thanks for another utterly redundant backup script though.

Animal Man #5: Boo Hiss Cliff is not dead. I was really hoping he was going to be. Ellen gets her nose cleaned by a tentacle, the talking cat turns out to be a complete twat and Maxine fucks up SPECTACULARLY. This book is absolutely revelling in being allowed to be a horror book (pushing the envelope about as far as post-code, pre-Vertigo SoST ever went) and to be honest makes a mockery of Vertigo being considered the adult arm of DC's publishing. I'm still not in love with the art, but the more out-there the imagery gets the better it suits it which makes it a good job Jeff Lemire is taking it that way.

Detective Comics #5: Two separate but linked stories in this issue, the first of which is the one contributing to the main storyline. But as Matt identifies above, the pace of this is pretty slow appears not to be going anywhere. It clearly is - and the Penguin reveal would have been excellent had it not been spoiled on the cover - and in a way the speed of it after so many of the titles raced through trying to set up continuity it's kind of refreshing. Solid stuff.

OMAC #5: Is this just a big fight scene? Yes. It is enormous fun? Yes. It even admits as much itself, with Brother Eye teleporting OMAC out because he's getting bored. Careful with that arm, Frankenstein! The Eye/SHADE rivalry is kind of interesting, even if it does appear that the whoel thing might instead be part of (or will become) part of Darkseid's plan. You know what I took away most from this though? That if Frankenstein's own book is BPRD, when you put him in another book to punch the crap out of someone else he becomes a cut-price Hellboy instead. Now just maybe, with Hellboy dead, there's room for another one; but I'm not so sure there's a need for one.

Red Lanterns #5: Peter Milligan, you are British. There is, therefore, no excuse for the last four pages of this. Not a single one. THAT IS NOT BRITAIN. As if that wasn't enough, the book itself has entirely lost its direction, and just rehashing the stuff it's done already in the run. Blah blah RRRRRAAAAARGH blah blah. The goat, the brane and the rubber ball are all now clever, as if you care. I'm not paying for this any more.

Stormwatch #5: ? There are no words. I might have paid for one too many of these. Half of this is kind of entertaining, the other half pointless except to set up the biggest continuity event yet in the Johnsiverse. And possibly finish this book off. Oh well.

Swamp Thing #5: This is the ideal companion book to Animal Man, mainly because it takes all the good bits from that and makes them better - and then has none of the bad bits either. I'm going to stick my neck out and say this might be as good as American Gothic i.e. possibly the best run of all time on Swamp Thing. There are certainly elements of it pandering to old fans, but come on - reanimated pigs being choked to death with roots?How can you not love it? "Why the peaches?" "They're your favourite Abby... I remember you told me." Book of the week.

you know the effect of this may be to make me start reading comics again, which probably is not yr aim

effect of this is that i'm torrenting comics again

yes well. 'reading'

man, peter milligan is really phoning it in these days

also, justice league dark gives you enough context to work out who constantine, zatanna are, almost does so with deadman, totally fails to explain 'enchantress' and 'madame xanadu'

also enchantress is drawn to look like a corpse except for her rack, which is miraculously preserved

time to stop reading comics again, that did not last long

But if she didn't have such a great rack then Deadman wouldn't want to fuck her then there would be no romantic tension in Rob Liefeld's Hawk & Dove!

Maybe I should stop reading comics now...

i was wondering why the dove in JLD didn't square with the one i remembered and then i realised i was actually thinking of marvel's 'cloak and dagger'

superhero duos who did not need to exist i. hawk and dove ii. cloak and dagger

I thought Abby liked limes.

Yes, I'm totally serious.

Haven't read #5, but ST is just not giving me enough each issue to really justify it any longer. I'm supposed to care that this little boy is the Avatar of All That Is Bad, but it's just not scary in the least (which at least American Gothic succeeded in).

The Abby thing is from SoST 23-24 I think?

I can see why people don't like it, maybe I'm poisoned by the last run on the book.

I actually liked Dysart's run on the book, but I'm in the vast, screaming minority on it.

Pretty sure the limes thing is from whenever Swampy and Abby consummated their relationship, which means the "Rites of Spring" storyline, whatever issues those were.

I think that's where limes come from (#29?) but I'm positive she talks about peaches while she's working in the children's home that becomes the Monkey King - "Selina has already decided she doesn't want the lawn chairs" is the standout line, obviously.

lime/consummation = #34

wow, it took a long time to work out what you were talking about there

haha, personal shorthand. I'm not even posting from a phone, which is what brief gibberish can usually be attributed to around here.

THINGS I DON'T CARE ENOUGH ABOUT TO BUY UPDATE

Batwing #5: OOOH, gender conflict. Truly, it is BECAUSE OF THE WANG. And then lol at people who have no idea about African geography, politics, geo-politics or in fact anything outside their own continent. Seriously, what does Egypt matter to any Africans who aren't from Egypt? Without these two utter wtf parts the rest of the book is actually pretty good, but indebted to GMoz' Batman Inc in more than just the origin of the hero, more in the overall faceless bad-guy-terrorist-organisation-The-Base level. I just don't get why anybody would buy this, which is probably explained by the sales levels.

Green Arrow #5: So the bad guy from a couple of issues ago has now become unbelievably stupid and wants to undo everything from those episodes (presumably because he doesn't remember it). Plus he sees Ollie walking off-page as a civvy and coming back onpage as GA and makes no connection. That was the most intelligent thing written either in this issue or in connection to it. Mid-80s fourth rate crap hero book, nothing more.

Hawk & Dove #5: ROB LIEFELD TAKES OVER! THE FUTURE STARTS HERE! But wait, Rob needs help. So who does he bring in? MARAT FUCKING MICHAELS. Sub-porno shitty Avatar standby of the first water. But seriously, page 10 is maybe the most ridiculous page in a mainstream bok maybe EVER. Dawn's "normal clothes" are a good start, and the levitating foot is a stroke of genius, but kicking down the chimney is laugh-out-loud hysterical. And that is better than the following 10 pages. Reading this shot is barely tolerable any more. Anyway, Dawn and Deadman have split up which fucks up the continuity (and a huge chunk of plot) in two other ongoing books which in <6 months is a pretty spectacular collapse. Nearly as good as changing 20% of your staff.

JLI #5: "She puts the diva in Godiva." That is genuinely the best thing about this book, and even that doesn't work in terms of pronunciation. 'dEEva' vs 'godEYEva'. Anyway, this is all about INTERNAL TENSION. Vixen vs Batman = optimist vs pessimist. Booster and Guy Gardner fighting for who's the best. Me fighting the bile rising as I read this bollocks. Booster and Godiva are fucking right now, off page. That's a comforting though, isn't it?

Men of War #5: YES, YES THAT'S TRUE. BEING FROM ONE OF THE QUARTERS OF NEW YORK MAKES YOU NATURALLY BETTER THAN A RESSURECTED HERO OF WATERLOO.Gung-ho is one thing, this is something else. The backup story is maybe even worse, a cross between a Brangelina action film and an overly romanticised pair of Cold War soldiers. In a week of shit 'shit books' this is maybe the worst.

Static Shock #5: Last issue cliffhanger dealt with in two pages. Check. Multiple references to Wildstorm property. Check. New character introduced in lieu of plot. Check. Racist NOT RACIST REALLY language. Check. Implication everybody who is not in this book is racist? Check. Dreadful comic? Check.

You know, I might be conflating the ST peach thing with the one near to the end of Moore's run (proving Alec is back after Gotham?) when a room gets filled with peach blossom.

Peter Milligan, you are British.

So I hear.

There is, therefore, no excuse for the last four pages of this.

What's on them?

Not a single one. THAT IS NOT BRITAIN.

What isn't?

As if that wasn't enough,

What wasn't?

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

So do you think the whole "new 52" exercise is already starting to lose it's momentum?

it never had any, they started out running late with no coherent creative vision of the reboot, and by four months in are running multi-title crossovers between Wildstorm titles

given that and the creators hired, Didio's grand vision appears to be "be 90s Image" without the lateness

dude wonderwoman blows

OK, the Pete Milligan thing is a scene where a guy gets pulled out of an American house with an American car outside of it, by three cops in American unifroms driving an American car and then beaten to death with American clubs in the street in front of his brother (who then becomes a Red Lantern. It's set, for no apparent reason in "Little Ockdon, United Kingdom". Which doesn't exist - closest match I can find is Little Ockenden, which is in Essex. And if you want to know what that's like... start googling "The Only Way Is Essex" or TOWIE and prepare to be amazed.

Best case is that it's all the artist and Pete Milligan never bothered to collaborate with him at all, or didn't care to correct where he didn't understand what he was being told to draw - worst case is that Milligan wrote it that way. So why the random location?

by four months in are running multi-title crossovers between Wildstorm titles

New board description.

Best case is that it's all the artist and Pete Milligan never bothered to collaborate with him at all, or didn't care to correct where he didn't understand what he was being told to draw

dude, loooooool at the idea that Milligan gets to see a copy of the art before it's printed, let alone that on the running-late-from-the-start nu52 deadlines that any editor would have time to ask for corrections. not that DC have seemed to have editors capable of seeking corrections at all, generally, in the last 15 years.

IIRC the John Smith issue of Hellblazer had American cop cars in it? And check out the Sydney Opera House in DC's Invasion! mini someday.

hawk&dove = classic when done by ditko (just the other day i saw in forbidden planet a nice new hardback collecting all the ditko H&Ds - retail price = £45!!)

btw is it just me or was Mr Bones not rhyming at all? I know Johnson and Williams hid them in Chase, but I didn't spot a sneaky rhyme scheme in this.

― robocop last year was a 'shop (sic), Sunday, 18 September 2011 21:38 (3 months ago)

now we've got an extended scene of him in Batwomang #5, and maybe I'm looking too much for a rhythm to clue off of, but I can't pick any consistent rhyming.

China Mieville to write a new title based on existing property

Not sure how I feel about that

Never heard of China Mieville, who is she?

oh that is just perfection

I feel so proud, I don't think I've ever said anything that resulted in a Tuomas question before.

he was supposed to be doing Swamp Thing at one point wasn't he?

oh right, it's Dial H for Hero. With Brian Bolland tho

where did you get that from, i'm curious about this idea / can't work out what kind of dc property i'd want to see him write

xpost oh. what the hell is that

Dial H = 60s DC series, revivied in the 80s. Every issue a teenage boy would use his magical phone to transform into a different superhero that had been designed/suggested by the readers. It was balls.

Is Bolland actually going to be drawing a comic strip again? And if so, what's the publication schedule?

Just going by google
http://www.usatoday.com/life/comics/story/2012-01-12/dc-comics-unveils-six-new-series/52504982/1

that does not sound like something i can imagine wanting to see a mieville version of, though i don't know what would be. new gods, maybe.

The irony is so delicious as to be borderline toxic.

I can't imagine having much interest in this, though I do wonder what Mr. Miéville will do without towering edifices of prose.

He wrote/drew his own web comic on his tumblr site, although it's a single panel per installment and was short-lived: http://chinamieville.net/tagged/London_intrusion

BTW, Mr. Bolland isn't doing interiors, just covers.

And I remember seeing a few of his comics and not being particularly struck by any of them.

first cancellations announced, all ending with issue 8 (leaving the final two out of the already announced collections - way to go DC!):

BLACKHAWKS, HAWK AND DOVE, MEN OF WAR, MISTER TERRIFIC, O.M.A.C. and STATIC SHOCK

sad to see O.M.A.C. go, if only for the art.

Batgirl #5: This feels like it does less, but achieves more than any of the previous issues. The cliffhanger last time about Babs' mum is almost thrown away as they have a coffee together and Babs tells her she's not that interested (although it'll undoubtedly come back to the plot as she's moving to Gotham - HELLO SOAP OPERA!). Anyway, this new plot deals with a character called Gretel who, to be honest is a bit hackneyed - she has some kind of mind control gun which makes people violent, but she seems to be doing it to complain about Bruce buying a building to do urban renewal. Which makes this probably the least likely campaign against the gentrification of New York since Alex in NYC kept on going round CBGBs taking photos of his kids in front of it. Still, we find out that Babs' recovery from being crippled was down to some 'neural implant surgery' which probably means it was down to Bruce, following Mister Terrific's plans, or something. It ends with Bruce attacking Batgirl with a crowbar under Gretel's power, which presumably means he isn't because I'm not having it that he isn't so much better than her at fighting that he wouldn't win in the first few seconds. But, you know, let's keep up the pretence so we're still excited next month.

Batman & Robin #5: I really wish this was better. Bruce and Alfred find out what we knew last month about Damien going off with the bad guy, then Bruce tells us a lot about him without actually telling us anything. Still, we get to a climax with Robin pointing a gun at the head of a slave trader. Let's see them go another month without advancing this after that.

Batwoman #5: Beautiful as ever, but the writing here feels a bit rushed in order to get the Weeping Woman stuff out of the way and have Bones give Kate the same gig as she should be on. Maybe I've been giving the writing too much of a free pass becasue of how this looks. I mean, if it's been building to this reveal of YET ANOTHER global crime operation running out of Gotham, doesn't this suggest Batman isn't really that effective? Not that I'd say it to his face, but maybe he should stick to shaking down petty thugs after people's fur coats after all. At least he seems able to cope with that.

Demon Knights #5: After last month's trip into GMoz territory this is far simpler but no less fun. The shooting of last week was just to cause pain and teach Exoristos, who in turn is revealed as a precursor to Wonder Woman (and who, secretly, I hope she turns out to be - continuity be damned). Merlin, Mordred and Morgaine all turn up as ghosts to push up the Arthurian content then BAM! Vandal Savage reveals his true colours and people get attcked by a giant stone rhinocerous. I'll just repeat that. A GIANT STONE RHINOCEROUS. You don't get that in your X-Mans now, do you? Eh?

Frankenstein #5: This tells the same story as OMAC#5, yet it's not the one being cancelled. GET BETTER STANDARDS, DC READERS. Still, Ray Palmer becomes The Atom (kind of) and Frankie is clearly going too shag Not Abe Sapien, despite the fact he's married. OOH, CONTROVERSIAL. Why can't this get cut instead?

Legion Lost #5: A fantastic cop-out ending as the bad guy gets shown he's actually done the right thing after all and the plague he was bringing is the next stage of human development to take us to THE FUTURE i.e. Legion-era proper. Then the Martian Manhunter talks up and gives one of those introductions where his name appears in a fancy font like it does on the cover of his own book when he speaks it - except of course he doesn't have his own book so this is the first time anybody sees it, and by G_d it's hideous. On the other hand, SPROCKING HELL, Gates is back! That's worth celebrating, isn't it? We were all supposed to thing he died a couple of issues back. Take your plusses where you find them, I say. Other wise you end up in Sadface territory, mark my words.

Suicide Squad #5: Floyd shoots lots of people, Diablo burns lots of other, King Shark has a light snack that JUST MIGHT extend his sentence. Oops. Amanda Waller has a conversation with her husband that rips off the guy in the power station in The Hand Of Fear, but since that's one of my favourite things ever I don't really care. She's then an absolute bitch to Floyd, mainly because she needs him to go straight back out on the road - it turns out Harley Quinn is much cleverer than she is and set up the whole thing. This undoubtedly links back into her being told the Joker was dead last time round, but it's hard to see how the Squad can do what they do and her remain alive which is kind of a limiting plot as far as the DCU is concerned. Never mind, this is still one of the highlight books of the Johnsiverse and commended to all of you.

Deathstroke #5: I should love a comic where somebody throws a nuclear submarine at somebody else, right? So why do I hate this? Well, first off they get to the aforementioned submarine throwing appropos of nothing. The thrower turns up on Page 16, then 17-18 and 19-20 are splash pages. Does that seem lazy? The rest is Deathstroke wandering round being GRUFF AND MANLY talking to himself, when he's not criticising trainees. He has an ice bath to show he's old and it's very nearly the most exciting thing that happens. A travesty.

Green Lantern #5: All you need to know about this is that Sinestro decomissions his giant yellow lantern, which means the Sinestro Lanterns don't exist any more. Presumably including the one that's currently in the Kyle Rayner book, but I'm betting not given we have such on-the-ball, continuity-monitoring editors and editors-in-chief. Sinestro them dumps Hal on Earth and lets him keep his ring but doesn't give him a lantern to charge it. Hal has a bit of a rage about it (unfortunately for him he's not sufficiently upset that the Red Lantern recruiting beacon which turns somebody on Earth into one at the same time wasn't looking at him, or maybe he just wasn't RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH enough) then has a bit of a snog with Carol. For the finale we cut to the Guardians who, in YET ANOTHER UTTERLY DICK MOVE decide they're going to create another army to replace the GLC. Because they Manhunters were such a success at that, obviously. Aw, little blue guys. Will you never learn?

Grifter #5: You know what this reminds me of? An Avatar book, designed to show off the talents of an artist who isn't really all that good. I couldn't care less about the blue ghosty things or the black curate, whoever that is, to be honest. Page 10 typifies what's wrong with the writing on this: Grifter shoots an alium on the last panel of P9 - in panel one he gloats and shouts about it bare-faced and wearing a jacket - in panel two it is shown he's surrounded by them only with the closest only about two feet away and they all spot him, he still is barefaced and wearing a jacket - in panel three he draws a gun out from his underpants, still wearing the jacket - in panel four he puts on his mask, while not wearing the jacket, and with both hands free - in panel five he takes the jacket off - in the first panel of the next page he's firing guns with both hands. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? I thought about saying Rob Liefeld isn't that incompetent, but he clearly is so that isn't a very good example. Any halfway decent artist isn't that incompetent. Does that work? This is an absolute chore to read and is arguably worse than Hawk & Dove. There, I said it.

Mister Terrific #5: Michael thinks his way out of the fight by setting everybody else free, then gets sadfaced about slavery in front of a picture of a panel which implies the 19th C slave traders used to throw their captives overboard in massive numbers for shits & giggles, which of course would have made complete economic sense... he then tries to draw a parallel between being black and being a hermaphrodite... who then blows up a spaceship with a blast of pure hermaphroditism. He then steps through a blue wibbly think and ends up in his lab, having been upstaged in his own book by every other character for the second month on the bounce. The end of this will be a mercy killing, but it's possibly more amazing this ever got the green light in the first place.

Resurrection Man #5: So, last issue's cliffhanger is resolved in that he only got hit so hard so he won't resurrect "on Earth". So how does an angel fix that? She gets on her mobile phone to Heaven and asks them to look for Mitch when he gets admitted to Heaven Hospital. Obviously. Deathstroke shows up and kills some people and a speech bubble saves a REALLY weird piece of art where a woman's arm shrinks by about 50% (and don't try and claim it's perspective, please). The script actually draws attention to it, although it's actually talking about a different character whose arm has ACTUALLY gone. THIS ALL SEEMS TO BE A FLASHBACK TO BEFORE THE BOOK STARTED. Maybe. It turns out in the end that the angel fucked up. So much for infallibility.

Superboy #5: Hmm. It is "impossible" for a superhuman (or a robot mimicking a superhuman) to lift three tons. Which isn't much heavier than most American cars. Do writers read anything these days? This also features a man turns into shadow dogs when he's annoyed, Superboy being Not Magneto and some bedroom antics. OK, that last one is a bit of a blind - some bad guys turn up in Superboy's room and call him names. I want to love this, but this is the most Wildstorm book in the Johnsiverse and I have no affection or nostalgia for it. A shame.

UPDATE!
Hawk & Dove cancelled two issues after Rob Liefeld made writer & artist, before a single one of his authorial issues ships.
FURTHER UPDATE!
Kyle Higgins and Joe Bennett fired off Deathstroke, to be replaced by writer/artist Rob Liefeld!
Artist-turned-writer Tony Daniel fired off The Savage Hawkman, to be replaced by artist-turned-writer Rob Liefeld!
One of (if not the) the only new-to-DC writers on The Nu52, Nathan Edmondson, fired off Grifter, to be replaced with 24-year-DC-veteran-without-ever-showing-one-iota-of-skill-development, Rob Liefeld.

I love that the answer to a Liefield comic being cancelled for low sales is more Liefeld. Maybe they want those other three to die too.

http://i1.cdnds.net/12/02/618x940/comics_deathstroke_rob_liefeld.jpg

There are claims online this is an X-Force cover of Cable which has been tracecd and re-drawn.