Invent interesting metaphors and similies for women's romantic novels.

they heave and beckon

and slowly turn in circles

"The tensile strength of [cobwebs are] greater than the same weight of steel and [they have] much greater elasticity."

also they are sexier

if nothing else, one must constantly wonder what Kent and Shelton were thinking when they composed these "tag" phrases

i wonder if that google books corpus could tell us if any of these more bizarre phrases have actually been used in romance novels?

Is there anything in the book like "His eyes crawled across the front of her blouse"? Because that's a good one, with the crawling eyes. Happens right before she starts spinning in circles.

there are a *lot* of romance novels

i feel confident xp

the steamy stuff is on its way, jenny, you gotta be patient.

Haha - crawling eyes as "steamy." Kind of makes you wonder whether romance authors have ever actually had sex.

iirc they don't have sex, they have sensual awakenings

i will retype the headings for the chapters about sex:

desire, attraction
touching
embracing
kisses
lovemaking

THAT'S IT

42 words for the color "brown" though!

is one of them santorum

All in the Lovemaking subchapter "Anal."

this picture is actually in the book, so
http://www.moviespad.com/photos/rick-santorum-family-0b379.jpg

i hope tuomas isn't mad at me for hogging his thread
i can move if necessary

xp I just had a stroke due to the rush of inappropriate jokes that flooded my cerebral cortex. Call 911.

this one is kind of goofy, but my favorite so far is next

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7032/6637587383_9a8b9dcdfd_z.jpg

dank tendrils

positively Lovecraftian

Cobweb hair, dank tendrils of hair.

she is light but resilient with cheekbones
he is dark, heavy, and has hair on his forehead

heavy in spirit, i mean

slim wild beauty

― La Lechera, Wednesday, January 4, 2012 2:53 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This reminds me of a bar conversation I had w Nabisco once about how the perfect city girlfriend eats almost nothing, consumes no resources that you'll have to pay for, and takes up so little space that you can fold her up and store her in a closet--just right for your cramped apartment, much like a piece of low-budget exercise equipment.

so, olsens?

i want to post the next one because i feel like ch. 3 was a little uninspired but i don't want to flood the thread

^^ I must have terrible taste, bcz I did not feel that way at all about ch. 3.

I don't know, the Olsens consumed a lot of expensive drugs if the stories and pictures are to be believed.

no, i like it, just a little less than i like the rest of them. i think it's the cartoony image.

ok, here it is, this one is my favorite

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7012/6638056927_3891c49f1c_z.jpg

she does not seem to be having the best time

lol at car talk insert

aren't they charming illustrations for a chart about poison?

He engaged her clutch expertly

butterflies, strychnine, a skull, a vulture, a birdy

These are so great.

I think I used that as a line once.

thanks yenny!

"engaged her clutch"?

http://cdn.thegloss.com/files/2009/03/red-ruby-rose-clutch-purse-300x298.jpg

i like that his touch was so wild and electric that she wanted to jump

i also like this one in particular because you know something is about to happen

use sedatives to control convulsions
injection of antidote

^^ my favorite part of the poison guide

ok, so i have the next 8 parts planned out for a total of 12
feeling optimistic about it coming together (hehehe)

Ch. 5
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7146/6667216277_378dc42702_b.jpg

torn between glossy volcanic rock and pools of appeal

Ha, there are some awesome ones there.

i like "reverberated"

did anyone notice the text under the last one, "They continue with it simply because of apathy - a characteristic found among whores the world over."

Oh man, I totally didn't. That's perfect.

Actually, on looking over it again: the interplay between the background text and the romantic lines is genius throughout.

:)