Aldo reads DC's New 52 (So you don't have to)

Aldo, do you write about comics (or anything else) somewhere online? Because I would read the hell out of it.

UPDATE!
Action Comics finally decides to stop being 20pp for $4 by adding an eight-page back-up story by Joshua Hale Fialkov, not Grant Morrison!
Joshua Hale Fialkov replaced by Sholly Fisch, not Grant Morrison, before anything sees print.
#4 ships, and the 8-page story turns out to not only not be by Grant Morrison, but actually be an eight-page fight scene that Morrison specifically left out of his pages because it would have been tedious, pointless, redundant and a waste of pages. And money, I guess, if anyone had ever told him that this was a 30 page book, not a 20pp one, at any point in the process of creating any of these issues.

UPDATE!
Early-90s (Jamie Delano era) Animal Man artist Steve Pugh added to Travel Foreman as Animal Man artist from #7.

UPDATE!
Fernando Pasarin replaced as Green Lantern Corps artist by Acclaim-era Giffen inker Claude St. Aubin from #7

UPDATE!
Jesus Saiz replaced as Birds Of Prey artist by Javier Pina halfway through #5
Javier Pina replaced as Birds Of Prey artist by Jesus Saiz halfway through #7

UPDATE!
Yanick Paquette, having managed a gruelling two issues of Swamp Thing in a row, is partially filled-in-for by Victor Ibanez on #3.
With the breather allowed by not having to do a full issue, Paquette fails to catch up, and is completely replaced by Ibanez for #4.
Before publication, but after solicitation, writer Scott Snyder says that Ibanez has been replaced by Marco Rudy as fill-in artist on #4.
Back with a vengeance, Paquette storms back to draw all of #5 by himself! Nothing can stop him now!
Marco Rudy is filling in for Paquette on #6. Unless he gets replaced by Victor Ibanez.
Pow! Fully refreshed and ready to roll, Yanick Paquette is drawing the living fuck out of Swamp Thing #7 and #8! There’s really no stopping him now!
An unannounced fill-in artist will draw the second half of Swamp Thing #9. Hopefully Marco Rudy. Does anyone have Victor Ibanez’ phone number?

UPDATE!
The artist on Mr Terrific #1-2 is Gianluca Gugliotta.
#3 has a fill-in by Jim Lee inker Scott Clark, being inked by Dave Beaty.
Gugliotta returns for #4-5, but now inked by Wayne Faucher.
#6 has a fill-in by Oliver Nome.
The team of Gugliotta and Faucher returns for #7.

UPDATE!
The classic beloved super-villain team-up property SUICIDE SQUAD returns to stands as part of THE NEW 52 in a series written by Adam Glass and drawn by Marco Rudy! Get in on the ground floor!
Exciting news kids! Marco Rudy couldn’t handle the heavy-handed editorial fiddling, from #2 Suicide Squad will be drawn by Federico Dellocchio, with a helping hand on his first issue by Ransom Getty!
Wow kids, great news! Federicho Dellocchio will be replaced by Wildstorm superstar Tom Raney for issues 6 and 7 – make sure you pick up Stormwatch #6 for the crossover with that issue’s explosive events!
Hey kids, we can barely contain our excitement to tell you that Tom Raney got jack of the heavy-handed editorial fiddling, or couldn’t keep pace with it, or something, so has been replaced on ishes 6 and 7, without drawing anything, by Clayton Henry! #6 is now thrillingly returnable, retail minutia fans!

UPDATE!
SEPTEMBER 28th: Hotheaded hero FIRESTORM returns to stands as part of THE NEW 52 in a series written by right-wing X-Men penciller Ethan Van Sciver and the only female creator on any New 52 comic, Gail Simone!
OCTOBER 12th: The only female creator on any New 52 comic, Gail Simone, is reported to have walked off Firestorm due to frustration with the heavy-handed editorial meddling and micro-management. DC is reported to be all, like, “psssch, what? That’s crazy, you’re crazy. Everything’s chill.”
OCTOBER 17th: Yildiray Cinar, artist on Firestorm, is to be assisted by an inker from issue #5, quite possibly unable to keep up with repeated changes demanded by editorial.
DECEMBER 6th: Now one of a vast two female creators on The New 52, Gail Simone is confirmed to have walked off Firestorm.
From issue #7, Van Sciver will be joined by co-plotter and scripter Joe Harris, writer of a film about the Tooth Fairy being evil. The team of Yilidray Cinar and Norm Rapmund will also be filled in for on issues 7 & 8 by Sciver.

UPDATE!
Writer Sterling Gates is OFF Hawk And Dove with issue #6, replaced by the continuing artist on the book. That’s right, it’s 2011 and the single most consistent and reliable creator on DC’s The NEW 52 is Rob Liefeld.
Rob.
Liefeld.
FURTHER UPDATE!
Gates was actually sacked mid-story, with his completed script for #6 being spiked, and Liefeld co-re-writing #5 with Gates post-sacking.

UPDATE!
Writer JT Krul replaced on Green Arrow from #4 with penciller Dan Jurgens and Keith Giffen.
Finisher George Perez replaced from #5 with inker Ray McCarthy.
Writer/penciller Dan Jurgens replaced as penciller on #6 with Ignacio Calero.
Co-writers Keith Giffen and Dan Jurgens replaced from #7 with Ann Nocenti.
Artists Dan Jurgens, George Perez, Ray McCarthy and Ignacio Calero replaced from #7 with Harvey Tolibao.
- That’s right, in just seven months this series has turned over FIVE separate creative teams.

UPDATE!
Ivan Brandon is reported to have walked off Men Of War after #6 due to due to frustration with the heavy-handed editorial meddling and micro-management. DC is like “pfft what? That’s silly, everything’s totes chill over here, everything’s under control".
FURTHER UPDATE!
Men Of War #7 will contain not one but TWO separate fill-in stories, by James Robinson and HEROIC MAN OF THE HOUR J.T. Krul!

UPDATE!
Ron Marz’ script for Voodoo #5, as accepted, paid for, and solicited, will now not be used; Marz has been replaced on the series by some dude who writes a video-game adaptation comic.
Marz has no idea what DC wanted differently, having only a 10-minute conversation with the editor about his boning, but the editor had also quit and was leaving the next day, so probably didn’t a) know or b) give a shit.

UPDATE!
DC announce Paul Jenkins as fill-in-writer on Stormwatch #7 and #8.
FURTHER UPDATE!
Regular Paul Cornell allows that, actually, he’s walked off the book altogether.
HEY KIDS! Follow the ending of Stormwatch #6 in upcoming issues of Grifter and Voodoo! And don’t forget that Cornell’s Demon Knights is actually Ancient Stormwatch – you can’t afford to miss an issue!

There was way more of this by the way, but somewhere along the way, the will to track it seeped completely out of my fingertips.

way

Bridwell would be proud.

holy waht

that is an implosion of epic proportions

also stop making me want to buy Hawk and Dove

There was a piece about it on CBR the other day. 21% of art teams and 17% of creative teams as a whole have changed by the end of month 4.

Mystery Hooded Woman has been revealed to be called Pandora. I'm hoping beyond hope she turns out to be the unused Len Wein/Ross Andru 1981 creation Pandora Parr. I'm not holding my breath.

I kind of hope she's a mysterious link to the old universe and they will magically revert all the series that aren't selling well or have shitty creative teams

Batman #4: This is maybe the most prosaic issue of this book to date, but that's OK because it's quite nice not to be so thrill-powered for a change. We get a lot of dialogue about Young Bruce and some family history leading to BIFF! BANG! POW! Another great cliffhanger! Best BatBook of the bunch.

Birds of Prey #4: Eh? So knocking people out solves the walking bomb problems and handily resolves the DINAH MUST DIE! cliffhanger from the last issue. But it also makes her entirely redundant as a character as the plot is resolved without her and told to her in flashback. Anyway, the people blowing up thing is supposedly because of a new experimental anti-stroke drug (here's a hint, I suspect most stroke victims would rather have had the stroke than ended up spread across the tarmac and taken to the morgue in a couple of carrier bags) which is cured by new Doctor McHandsome. We end back up in the lair of the invisible robots (and Doctor McHandsome's handy new Invisible Robot Uninvisibling Machine) where they show off their new power of teleporting people (although they're not that good at it because Batgirl goes missing - someone more cynical might suggest this is just a normal DC art error though). Maybe somebody new will join next month? Maybe somebody else will read it next month?

Blue Beetle #4: Hooray! The crap villain from last month's reveal is just as crap as I thought he'd be! More sterotypical hispanic nonsense with marginal plot advancement (but maybe that's fine after last month's revelations about the baddie), although Jaime is more in control of the suit... until it skewers his best mate at the very end. Oops. Maybe it's got some magic make-better rays that haven't been shown yet.

Captain Atom #4: Find a copy of Watchmen. Read the Doctor Manhattan sections. It obviously must have been massively influenced by this issue then taken back in time by Rip Hunter or Booster Gold or somebody. I mean, what are the chances that two people could write something so similar? Even bits of the art are the same. I don't know who this Moore fellow is, but he's clearly a nobody compared to the giant of comics that is JT Krul. The villain for the next issue appears to have been a huge influence on Krang from the TMNT animated show (and taken back in time by Rip Hunter/Booster Gold etc). Hoo boy.

Catwoman #4: Mmm. Winicky. Selina meets an old friend, lots of people talk to each other, I still hate the art. This looks like the most unsurvivable cliffhanger in the who Johnsiverse thus far, and it's got some competition (Static Shock having his arm cut off, for one). This could be a really good book, but it just... isn't. Maybe it can pick it up, I don't know.

DC Presents #4: The 90s are back! Back! Back! This is like a third or fourth tier Vertigo book from the very early days (like Vamps or something like that) in an OOOOOOOOOH MYSTICAL SPOOKINESS LOOK THE PICTURE IS STRETCHED way. I just wish this Deadman story would be over, because it's not nearly as clever as it thinks it is. Actually, I did think it was over last month. Apparently not, and there is at least one to go. Wonderful.

Green Lantern Corps #4: OK, this is just stupid. We start off with a Lantern getting a mind-sword through the head JUST BECAUSE. It turns out the swords are a green, glowing, transparent sort of a thing keyed to individual people "just like your rings". ENOUGH HINTS YET? The captive Lanterns are walked across the Emerald Plains where there are hundreds of Lantern shaped indents. GOT IT FINALLY? Jonn Jonn'z turns up eventually and after slagging Guy Gardner off for not saving Mars interrogates the captive bad guy from the last issue. It turns out (DUH!) that they were the people who used to look after the power batteries before the Guardians were dicks about it, and are now just annoyed enough about it to commit genocide on random planets. Or something. They also patently did it on a planet that has the same atmosphere as every other planet in the universe simultaneously, as a pile of Lanterns manage to survive on it with completely exhausted rings (and therefore no life support system). Lantern Tongue has become Lantern Tail in the course of an issue. I just don't know what to think any more, it's like my whole life's fallen apart.

Justice League #4: CHOOOOOOOMM One of the worst kept secrets in the Johnsiverse comes to pass as Darkseid turns up. And this is a pretty good book outside of this, even if the majority of the fun elsewhere is laughing at Hal Jordan. Even Aquaman gets in on the act, and you've got to be pretty shit for him to take the piss out of you. I could almost get to like Cyborg out of this. There, I said it. I'll leave the last word to Aquaman's Amazing Parademon-Eathing Non-pathetic Sharks - OM NOM NOM.

Legion of Super Heroes #4: A thrilling end to the Dominators storyline, though it does sort of come out of nowhere. One minute Cham is wondering how to signal the Legion, a couple of pages later they just turn up. As a special Brucie Bonus, Braniac works out how Glorith's powers work. What's not to like?

Nightwing #4: Dick's conquest from last month gets all huffy when Babs Gordon turns up, with her big city hair and her big city clothes and her big city acrobatic abilities. They defeat Spinebender by electrifying him until he turns into glass (give me a break, I didn't write it). There's lots of rooftops and ropes and everything else that makes Batbooks good and this is definitely a solid enough title - just not a very popular one and might not be unique enough to survive future line-slashing by DiDio. A mysterious book turns up in the end, bringing the total for the Johnsiverse to about 6. This might be becoming A Thing.

Red Hood #4: This genuinely is just getting better and better. Starfire gets some character development and then mistakenly flies into the giant green glowing ring that couldn't be more obvious not to fly through if it had a giant sign marked DO NOT FLY INTO THIS GIANT GREEN GLOWING RING on it. Jason and Roy try to put the moves on girls in a bar and end up fighting a Bewbs Cop Alium with half a head (after Roy shot arrows through it). In his defence, I don't think he knew she was a alium before he shot her. I can't explain how I got to like this as much as I do. It's just FUN. Remember that, kids?

Supergirl #4: In contrast, Supergirl gets objectively worse. It's not awful, but it just doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Supergirl escapes and the bad guy is almost killed but gets saved with the technology of the bad guy from a couple of issues ago and not like Cyborg or somebody like that, honest. This needs to start improving.

Wonder Woman #4: This is more like it. Diana, Hermes and Zola go to an awesome metal show in London. Fortunately they do not pass go and go directly to Chaki's bed to wait for him, but have a squabble instead. Apollo and Ares plot something very carefully - so carefully that Ares is accused of being Greek's Obtusest God. Hera visits Hippolyta to have it out with her over Zeus shagging her (although why she isn't having the conversation with him or, say, Leda isn't mentioned) and ends up forgiving her by turning her into a statue and all her friends into snakes. Given that it looked like they were going to lez up at one point, it's a disappointing ending for all parties to be honest - but at least Azzarello is taking us back in the horror direction he promised.

All-Star Western #4: Just when you thought he was leaving, Amadeus Arkham is back after all and pair go off looking for a missing kid (although Jonah almost certainly hasn't told him about the money) but how can this be bad? It's a detective comic set in Gotham City. It ends with Jonah taunted for not being Superman by a guy possibly uglier than him. The new backup is a brand new character, The Barbary Ghost, and is about as good as the EL Diablo one was previously i.e. not that hot. I hate how few people buy this, but hats off to DC for sticking with it.

Aquaman #4: This just in: Aquaman is still a dick. He kills an entire species (the one that all 4 issues of the Johnsiverse series have been about) because he can't speak to them with his mind control powers thing - although to be fair they are trying to eat him at the time. He then gets a dog. That can't swim. Jeez, I would have felt irresponsible if I got a dog and had to leave it in the house while I went to work. Still, Geoff Johns is going to tell us who sank Atlantis soon. That'll bring in the readers, huh?

Batman The Dark Knight #4: In which Batman explains to Wonder Woman that Flash is outrunning some poison, then has a nice ice cream. Alfred has a crying wank about the woman in the rabbit suit from the last issue, Bruce stands up the pretty girl from previous months and Deathstroke chops the batplane in half before the Scarecrow shows up (and is possibly revealed as the guy who's been making violent people violent) and quotes Neil Gaiman. Yes, I'm aware of how stupid that all looks but it's a really good read. Honest. You can trust this face.

Blackhawks #4: Is this sort of going anywhere? The past issues have made so little impression the plot read as follows: somebody I don't recognise has stolen something I don't recognise and fights him after being given a knife by somebody I don't recognise. She then hits him with a plane and is congratulated by somebody I don't recognise. In the mean time two people I don't recognise hit someone I don't recognise with a toolbox and steal a different plane which flies off into space. I'm sure they'll all be back next month and I won't know who they are then either.

Flash #4: This is still as gorgeous to look at as ever, and the plot seems to be racing towards a conclusion. We even have enough time for a flashback (no pun intended) to Barry's mum, reminding us that BARRY ALLEN IS TO BLAME FOR THE WHOLE DAMN JOHNSIVERSE IN THE FIRST PLACE. It turns out Barry is not faster than a speeding bullet, but his brain is. We find out why there seemed to be so many Manuels in previous issues. Iris smashes some ice. Are all my favourite comics secretly retarded when you actually explain them?

Green Lantern New Guardians #4: Speaking of which (and I don't mean favourite comics)... it turns out Larfleeze is so obviously confident because he has a pet Guardian, who may turn out to be female based on the descriptions. And a bit pervy, as she tries to fight all the other Guardians by attacking them with anal love beads while saying she's going to spit roast them. Kyle decides Ganthet, who he only met the other day but is "like a father" to him, isn't for him and decides to betray him and hang out with the cool kids like Bleez (who obviously doesn't share the sentiment as she buggers off as soon as she can), Arkillo and Munk. He's so clever.

I, Vampire #4: Absolutely beautiful, as ever. This is a really nice, almost self-contained story although Constantine's presence in it is utterly redundant. It does raise the question though of how all this vampiring has been going on in the mainstream Johnsiverse without the Justice League or, at a pinch, Static Shock getting involved and killing them. Still, this and Batwoman might be worth springing for oversized collections of in the future just to revel in them.

Justice League Dark #4: Is this Watchmen month? Dawn comes into her apartment and meets a sinister man in a trenchcoat eating cold baked beans directly from the tin. Anyway, all the sub-threads of this seems to be coming together and the team should actually form next issue, but I think we might also see another lover's tiff as Deadman's still trying to get into June Moon's pants and maybe Shade will have a crack at Zatanna while he's at it. I do like this, but I'm not sure why.

Superman #4: The villain is revealed; IT WAS SUPERMAN ALL ALONG! Presumably it was the other Superman that we see briefly while Clark is on the phone to Lois. Anyway, aside from the cop-out ending this is still far too wordy - although it's been cut back so at least you can see some of the art this time round. Really, this is just boring nonsense.

Teen Titans #4: The two halves of the team finally get together, although quite how the random street in the snow from last month gets you into a penthouse flat I have no idea (and to his credit, Scott Lobdell says he has no idea how it happened either). Wonder Girl and Superboy have a slugfest in Times Square (meaning we now have Gotham, Metropolis and New York in the Johnsiverse) and then everybody else turns up to join in. Kid Flash is still the best thing in it.

Firestorm #4: Wait, what? Qurac is back! It is the 80s after all! And now they have nuculer weapons! And now Russia has a Firestorm as well we can have a Cold War! Can we please get back to normal?

Hawkman #4: On page three of this there is a green woman who flies with blobs on her feet and talks through her arse. Is it just bad art? Probably, but nothing would surprise me any more. A complete mess, again.

Voodoo #4: Inconsequential stuff, as Voodoo breaks into a top secret faciltity (possibly to find out about Superman) then breaks back out again. She changes shape an awful lot of times including at the last into a dog. That's about as much as you need to know, frankly. Glad I'm not paying for it.

I don't know, the idea of the Daemonite/Kherubim war co-opting some of the mainstream DC heroes is kind of enthralling to me

I was never a Wildstorm kid, I guess.

I never cared about the Daemonites/Kherubim until now, lol!

I was always about Stormwatch/The Authority but the relaunch has been actively repellent to me.

...what exactly is the Johnsiverse for the purpose of this discussion?

the DC Universe

Wait, does the Johnsiverse extend to say...DARKEST NIGHT as well? This is an important hair to split.

dym Blackest Night? if so I would split the hair into proto-Johnsiverse, as Aldo is using it (since all his GL stuff is apparently still in continuity).

although I think Johnsiverse is unfair - I find his entire ouevre repellent, but get the impression that he genuinely does have a good grasp on broad-range plotting and making bits of continuity fit together in a coherent enough manner, if you like his style. if he and Morrison had been able to draw up a forward plan for the reboot, it could well have made sense; instead, the Didioverse/Leeiverse/Nelsoniverse plainly would have struggled to be fucked up any worse if they'd aimed to do so from the start.

That Batman bit with the owls is going pretty well, imo

I feel like a dork for saying so, even in this context, but Superman's new costume is still creeping me out.

All the titles I'm reading out of the reboot now feel like they're moving too slowly, but maybe for ACTION and HEX. I suspect I'm not cut out to read serials anymore.

NEW YEAR! SAME SHIT!

(btw I use Johnsiverse because it's post-Flashpoint universe, which implies the concepts and what's in/what's out is his doing - or else we have to assume somebody else came up with the resolution for Flashpoint and he was just writing to order, which you would have thought might have been credited somewhere.)

Action Comics #5: GMoz fails to disappoint once more, but you know what? This all feels a bit unnecessary. Nothing is substantially different in the origin to John Byrne's established continuity (apart from the Kents being younger, I guess) and the BRAND NEW GMOZ BAD GUYS are kind of GMoz by numbers. I would reckon we will continue to get a couple of pages of this plot every issue until a 6 part CONCLUDING EPIC YOU SHOULD NOT MISS. After the unrestrained 60s joy of ASS this seems to be treading water, but since it's better written than 90% of the other books out there I can put up with it. Scholly Fisch's bank balance says thanks for another utterly redundant backup script though.

Animal Man #5: Boo Hiss Cliff is not dead. I was really hoping he was going to be. Ellen gets her nose cleaned by a tentacle, the talking cat turns out to be a complete twat and Maxine fucks up SPECTACULARLY. This book is absolutely revelling in being allowed to be a horror book (pushing the envelope about as far as post-code, pre-Vertigo SoST ever went) and to be honest makes a mockery of Vertigo being considered the adult arm of DC's publishing. I'm still not in love with the art, but the more out-there the imagery gets the better it suits it which makes it a good job Jeff Lemire is taking it that way.

Detective Comics #5: Two separate but linked stories in this issue, the first of which is the one contributing to the main storyline. But as Matt identifies above, the pace of this is pretty slow appears not to be going anywhere. It clearly is - and the Penguin reveal would have been excellent had it not been spoiled on the cover - and in a way the speed of it after so many of the titles raced through trying to set up continuity it's kind of refreshing. Solid stuff.

OMAC #5: Is this just a big fight scene? Yes. It is enormous fun? Yes. It even admits as much itself, with Brother Eye teleporting OMAC out because he's getting bored. Careful with that arm, Frankenstein! The Eye/SHADE rivalry is kind of interesting, even if it does appear that the whoel thing might instead be part of (or will become) part of Darkseid's plan. You know what I took away most from this though? That if Frankenstein's own book is BPRD, when you put him in another book to punch the crap out of someone else he becomes a cut-price Hellboy instead. Now just maybe, with Hellboy dead, there's room for another one; but I'm not so sure there's a need for one.

Red Lanterns #5: Peter Milligan, you are British. There is, therefore, no excuse for the last four pages of this. Not a single one. THAT IS NOT BRITAIN. As if that wasn't enough, the book itself has entirely lost its direction, and just rehashing the stuff it's done already in the run. Blah blah RRRRRAAAAARGH blah blah. The goat, the brane and the rubber ball are all now clever, as if you care. I'm not paying for this any more.

Stormwatch #5: ? There are no words. I might have paid for one too many of these. Half of this is kind of entertaining, the other half pointless except to set up the biggest continuity event yet in the Johnsiverse. And possibly finish this book off. Oh well.

Swamp Thing #5: This is the ideal companion book to Animal Man, mainly because it takes all the good bits from that and makes them better - and then has none of the bad bits either. I'm going to stick my neck out and say this might be as good as American Gothic i.e. possibly the best run of all time on Swamp Thing. There are certainly elements of it pandering to old fans, but come on - reanimated pigs being choked to death with roots?How can you not love it? "Why the peaches?" "They're your favourite Abby... I remember you told me." Book of the week.

you know the effect of this may be to make me start reading comics again, which probably is not yr aim

effect of this is that i'm torrenting comics again

yes well. 'reading'

man, peter milligan is really phoning it in these days

also, justice league dark gives you enough context to work out who constantine, zatanna are, almost does so with deadman, totally fails to explain 'enchantress' and 'madame xanadu'

also enchantress is drawn to look like a corpse except for her rack, which is miraculously preserved

time to stop reading comics again, that did not last long

But if she didn't have such a great rack then Deadman wouldn't want to fuck her then there would be no romantic tension in Rob Liefeld's Hawk & Dove!

Maybe I should stop reading comics now...

i was wondering why the dove in JLD didn't square with the one i remembered and then i realised i was actually thinking of marvel's 'cloak and dagger'

superhero duos who did not need to exist i. hawk and dove ii. cloak and dagger

I thought Abby liked limes.

Yes, I'm totally serious.

Haven't read #5, but ST is just not giving me enough each issue to really justify it any longer. I'm supposed to care that this little boy is the Avatar of All That Is Bad, but it's just not scary in the least (which at least American Gothic succeeded in).

The Abby thing is from SoST 23-24 I think?

I can see why people don't like it, maybe I'm poisoned by the last run on the book.

I actually liked Dysart's run on the book, but I'm in the vast, screaming minority on it.

Pretty sure the limes thing is from whenever Swampy and Abby consummated their relationship, which means the "Rites of Spring" storyline, whatever issues those were.

I think that's where limes come from (#29?) but I'm positive she talks about peaches while she's working in the children's home that becomes the Monkey King - "Selina has already decided she doesn't want the lawn chairs" is the standout line, obviously.

lime/consummation = #34

wow, it took a long time to work out what you were talking about there

haha, personal shorthand. I'm not even posting from a phone, which is what brief gibberish can usually be attributed to around here.

THINGS I DON'T CARE ENOUGH ABOUT TO BUY UPDATE

Batwing #5: OOOH, gender conflict. Truly, it is BECAUSE OF THE WANG. And then lol at people who have no idea about African geography, politics, geo-politics or in fact anything outside their own continent. Seriously, what does Egypt matter to any Africans who aren't from Egypt? Without these two utter wtf parts the rest of the book is actually pretty good, but indebted to GMoz' Batman Inc in more than just the origin of the hero, more in the overall faceless bad-guy-terrorist-organisation-The-Base level. I just don't get why anybody would buy this, which is probably explained by the sales levels.

Green Arrow #5: So the bad guy from a couple of issues ago has now become unbelievably stupid and wants to undo everything from those episodes (presumably because he doesn't remember it). Plus he sees Ollie walking off-page as a civvy and coming back onpage as GA and makes no connection. That was the most intelligent thing written either in this issue or in connection to it. Mid-80s fourth rate crap hero book, nothing more.

Hawk & Dove #5: ROB LIEFELD TAKES OVER! THE FUTURE STARTS HERE! But wait, Rob needs help. So who does he bring in? MARAT FUCKING MICHAELS. Sub-porno shitty Avatar standby of the first water. But seriously, page 10 is maybe the most ridiculous page in a mainstream bok maybe EVER. Dawn's "normal clothes" are a good start, and the levitating foot is a stroke of genius, but kicking down the chimney is laugh-out-loud hysterical. And that is better than the following 10 pages. Reading this shot is barely tolerable any more. Anyway, Dawn and Deadman have split up which fucks up the continuity (and a huge chunk of plot) in two other ongoing books which in <6 months is a pretty spectacular collapse. Nearly as good as changing 20% of your staff.

JLI #5: "She puts the diva in Godiva." That is genuinely the best thing about this book, and even that doesn't work in terms of pronunciation. 'dEEva' vs 'godEYEva'. Anyway, this is all about INTERNAL TENSION. Vixen vs Batman = optimist vs pessimist. Booster and Guy Gardner fighting for who's the best. Me fighting the bile rising as I read this bollocks. Booster and Godiva are fucking right now, off page. That's a comforting though, isn't it?

Men of War #5: YES, YES THAT'S TRUE. BEING FROM ONE OF THE QUARTERS OF NEW YORK MAKES YOU NATURALLY BETTER THAN A RESSURECTED HERO OF WATERLOO.Gung-ho is one thing, this is something else. The backup story is maybe even worse, a cross between a Brangelina action film and an overly romanticised pair of Cold War soldiers. In a week of shit 'shit books' this is maybe the worst.

Static Shock #5: Last issue cliffhanger dealt with in two pages. Check. Multiple references to Wildstorm property. Check. New character introduced in lieu of plot. Check. Racist NOT RACIST REALLY language. Check. Implication everybody who is not in this book is racist? Check. Dreadful comic? Check.

You know, I might be conflating the ST peach thing with the one near to the end of Moore's run (proving Alec is back after Gotham?) when a room gets filled with peach blossom.

Peter Milligan, you are British.

So I hear.

There is, therefore, no excuse for the last four pages of this.

What's on them?

Not a single one. THAT IS NOT BRITAIN.

What isn't?

As if that wasn't enough,

What wasn't?

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

So do you think the whole "new 52" exercise is already starting to lose it's momentum?

it never had any, they started out running late with no coherent creative vision of the reboot, and by four months in are running multi-title crossovers between Wildstorm titles

given that and the creators hired, Didio's grand vision appears to be "be 90s Image" without the lateness

dude wonderwoman blows

OK, the Pete Milligan thing is a scene where a guy gets pulled out of an American house with an American car outside of it, by three cops in American unifroms driving an American car and then beaten to death with American clubs in the street in front of his brother (who then becomes a Red Lantern. It's set, for no apparent reason in "Little Ockdon, United Kingdom". Which doesn't exist - closest match I can find is Little Ockenden, which is in Essex. And if you want to know what that's like... start googling "The Only Way Is Essex" or TOWIE and prepare to be amazed.

Best case is that it's all the artist and Pete Milligan never bothered to collaborate with him at all, or didn't care to correct where he didn't understand what he was being told to draw - worst case is that Milligan wrote it that way. So why the random location?

by four months in are running multi-title crossovers between Wildstorm titles

New board description.

Best case is that it's all the artist and Pete Milligan never bothered to collaborate with him at all, or didn't care to correct where he didn't understand what he was being told to draw

dude, loooooool at the idea that Milligan gets to see a copy of the art before it's printed, let alone that on the running-late-from-the-start nu52 deadlines that any editor would have time to ask for corrections. not that DC have seemed to have editors capable of seeking corrections at all, generally, in the last 15 years.

IIRC the John Smith issue of Hellblazer had American cop cars in it? And check out the Sydney Opera House in DC's Invasion! mini someday.

hawk&dove = classic when done by ditko (just the other day i saw in forbidden planet a nice new hardback collecting all the ditko H&Ds - retail price = £45!!)

btw is it just me or was Mr Bones not rhyming at all? I know Johnson and Williams hid them in Chase, but I didn't spot a sneaky rhyme scheme in this.

― robocop last year was a 'shop (sic), Sunday, 18 September 2011 21:38 (3 months ago)

now we've got an extended scene of him in Batwomang #5, and maybe I'm looking too much for a rhythm to clue off of, but I can't pick any consistent rhyming.

China Mieville to write a new title based on existing property

Not sure how I feel about that

Never heard of China Mieville, who is she?

oh that is just perfection