Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"What did you want me to do Bill? I told you he just followed me home."

"As souvenirs go, I suppose it's less showy than the Masai tribe in the dining room."

"Coffee tables are too conventional, you said. Let's be exciting, you said."

"I hate you."

"Well, I'm not going to walk him in this weather."

"This is exactly why you need to stop drinking."

"57 channels and nothin' on"

"I am not happy about this hippo that you bought. We live in New York and our apartment is very small."

"But darling, it's a Banksy."

"What else do you want me to do? I've already left two messages for the exterminator."

"he is, one might say, less a hippopotamus and more a hippo potty mouth"
"fuck you old lady"

'The Olssons get a caddy, we get a caddy. Fine. The Olssons dig a pool, we dig a pool. That I can live with'

some good ones forwarded here

"tonight is your turn to stand on his back and eat the parasites from his hide"

"I'm not acknowledging this, either."

"Yes, I agreed, but only because I assumed HIPPO was a new Ikea product line"

ha, you could also do that one as: "When did IKEA become so literal?"

"darling, would you pass the hippo?"
"i swear to god i left it around here somewhere"
"elephant in the room, george, elephant"

"You just said, 'Jesus Christ you fat fucking hippo,' how am I supposed to take that?"

"I know I agreed to a threesome but this is ridiculous!!!!"

dammit that's where I was about to go

xp ...said the hippo

'Well, one leg for an umbrella stand, but after that I'm really struggling'

"Okay, Mr. Bossypants, you try talking to him about the water bill."

But suddenly...

"Who are you people, and how did you get into my apartment?"

"http://www.smh.com.au/environment/animals/pet-hippo-humphrey-mauls-owner-marius-to-death-20111115-1nfz4.html"

"But darling, it's a Banksy."

― s.clover, Monday, November 14, 2011 2:57 PM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I hope you submitted this.

damn straight

Sterling's are really good -- by which I mean, very New Yorker-y.

"Ok Brutus, CRUSH!"

'Cesar Milan has stopped returning our calls'

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/01/09/p465/120109_contest_p465.jpg

"Could you fill in a bit more detail?"

Captain Obvious Caption: "Well, we all feel dead inside sometimes."

"You're just being paranoid, Andy."

"I hate people who bounce on my couch"

"I think you should chalk this up to experience."

There can only be one answer..

(unless!)

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/01/23/p465/120123_contest_p465.jpg

multiple choice:

"this is normal" is a funnier generic caption than "christ what an asshole"

― max, Friday, 7 October 2011 12:38 (3 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

"you sure have got a fat ass for a snake"

"sso i ssee you're an assp."

"I give up. Did you do something with your hair?"

submit that

"I don't care if they were on offer Charles, you look ridiculous"

"You should have had your eyebrows done first!"

sit on it

"Most of us are content with just rattles to shake."

"So don't ask me what I think, then!"

"Oh honestly, Angela!"

"If you look closely, you can tell that that's not my tail."