Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

"This isn't working out."

Is this a hippo which I see before me,
The tail toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee.
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight? or art thou but
A hippo of the mind, a false creation,
Proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain?
Mavis, it's kicking in.

"Mavis, it's kicking in."

!!

This should totally join the pantheon of all-purpose captions

"Isn't this supposed to be an elephant?"

"He's a little TOO loyal."

"Now that I see it installed, it IS bigger than I thought"

"It's just until he finds a new habitat."

"It's not the hippo, Harry, it's you."

"Honestly Ted, it's like we watch the same thing every night."

"Well, *I* think it brightens up the place."

"I said, 'Look into its majestic EYES.'"

lol

"I miss Jeremy, but I still don't regret the trade"

"We don't have the room? Now who's being a hypocrite?"

"That's the last of the refried beans. Now... we wait."

"What did you want me to do Bill? I told you he just followed me home."

"As souvenirs go, I suppose it's less showy than the Masai tribe in the dining room."

"Coffee tables are too conventional, you said. Let's be exciting, you said."

"I hate you."

"Well, I'm not going to walk him in this weather."

"This is exactly why you need to stop drinking."

"57 channels and nothin' on"

"I am not happy about this hippo that you bought. We live in New York and our apartment is very small."

"But darling, it's a Banksy."

"What else do you want me to do? I've already left two messages for the exterminator."

"he is, one might say, less a hippopotamus and more a hippo potty mouth"
"fuck you old lady"

'The Olssons get a caddy, we get a caddy. Fine. The Olssons dig a pool, we dig a pool. That I can live with'

some good ones forwarded here

"tonight is your turn to stand on his back and eat the parasites from his hide"

"I'm not acknowledging this, either."

"Yes, I agreed, but only because I assumed HIPPO was a new Ikea product line"

ha, you could also do that one as: "When did IKEA become so literal?"

"darling, would you pass the hippo?"
"i swear to god i left it around here somewhere"
"elephant in the room, george, elephant"

"You just said, 'Jesus Christ you fat fucking hippo,' how am I supposed to take that?"

"I know I agreed to a threesome but this is ridiculous!!!!"

dammit that's where I was about to go

xp ...said the hippo

'Well, one leg for an umbrella stand, but after that I'm really struggling'

"Okay, Mr. Bossypants, you try talking to him about the water bill."

But suddenly...

"Who are you people, and how did you get into my apartment?"

"http://www.smh.com.au/environment/animals/pet-hippo-humphrey-mauls-owner-marius-to-death-20111115-1nfz4.html"

"But darling, it's a Banksy."

― s.clover, Monday, November 14, 2011 2:57 PM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I hope you submitted this.

damn straight

Sterling's are really good -- by which I mean, very New Yorker-y.

"Ok Brutus, CRUSH!"

'Cesar Milan has stopped returning our calls'

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/01/09/p465/120109_contest_p465.jpg

"Could you fill in a bit more detail?"

Captain Obvious Caption: "Well, we all feel dead inside sometimes."

"You're just being paranoid, Andy."