TS: Ben Roethlisberger's Blog vs Peyton Manning's Blog

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Vegemite OTM - check out this recap of the Tuesday morning press on the MNF game.

Of course, Peyton's going to lose to Brady until he gets some rings:

Manning: thee great QB, drafted #1 (aka YOU MUST WIN NOW PRIMADONNA BOY), franchise savior, son of hard-luck NFL great (aka YOU MUST AVENGE ME PEYTON), kinda spazzy, stuck w/ shitty defenses for way too long but gets the blame for the team's one-dimensionality

Brady: 6th round pick, farting around in the background, OH NO PUNCTURED LUNG, lemme win some Superbowls for y'all, aren't I swell?, and so handsome too!, a True Team Player (Nice hair part, Chachi.)

David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 06:27 (fourteen years ago) link

You wouldn't know that the national media didn't think this was, at least, a totally evenly matched game from the way they were blabbering on ESPN/MNF pregame about it. Even in that segment where they list their five best teams, they ALL said, "My #1 is the Colts...well, probably not after tonight, but we'll see I guess." WTF?

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 9 November 2005 14:47 (fourteen years ago) link

wtf is that the team hasn't been able to beat them for years and also that they're desperately trying to up the ratings on what was most likely going to be a blowout anyway, so we get "THE GAME OF THE YEAR" on a pair of somewhat mismatched teams with crazy history.
What's the flava, flava? DON'T BELIEVE TH' HYPE

Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 10 November 2005 00:09 (fourteen years ago) link

they were totally trying to bosox-yankees it

j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 10 November 2005 08:43 (fourteen years ago) link

Like said previously/on other threads, it's not like sports media has like gone batshit for the colts since the game...there's a rather weird amount of grudgingness in their reply to the game...

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 10 November 2005 14:36 (fourteen years ago) link

one month passes...
Check out my backstage photos at WWE

Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Sunday, 8 January 2006 21:09 (fourteen years ago) link

They had a segment about that on RAW this past Monday.

I love seeing pictures of wrestlers with athletes from other sports because you get a better feel for how tall the wrestlers really are.

NoTimeBeforeTime (Barry Bruner), Sunday, 8 January 2006 21:49 (fourteen years ago) link

Zeus enjoying Christmas.

http://benroethlisberger.typepad.com/./photos/uncategorized/zeus1_1.jpg

gear (gear), Sunday, 8 January 2006 22:02 (fourteen years ago) link

Favorite Movies: The Natural, Hoosiers
Favorite Author: John Grisham
Favorite Books: The Partner, The Firm
Hobbies: Golfing, Spending time with family & friends, reading
Favorite Music & Entertainer: Kenny

polyphonic (polyphonic), Monday, 9 January 2006 02:33 (fourteen years ago) link

Kenny Chesney, rather.

polyphonic (polyphonic), Monday, 9 January 2006 02:34 (fourteen years ago) link

Can we make Zeus our mascot, officially?

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Monday, 9 January 2006 18:33 (fourteen years ago) link

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v212/etienne_saint/zeus.jpg

gear (gear), Monday, 9 January 2006 19:45 (fourteen years ago) link

I have updated the FAQ. http://ilx.wh3rd.net/faq.php?board=49

Let me know if I left anything out, suggestions, etc.

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Monday, 9 January 2006 20:31 (fourteen years ago) link

And on a special note I want to send out a HAPPY 50th to my DAD today Jan 1!!! Happy birthday DAD I love you so much and I thank
you for everything you have ever done for me and everything that you will do..your my hero and if I could be anyone I would want to be just like you ( just not that old) but serious I love you dad happy birthday!!!!

cuet!

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Monday, 9 January 2006 20:34 (fourteen years ago) link

Can I just say that thanks to this thread, I crack up every time I see Rofflesburger at gametime? After hearing his BBQ ads ("there is another 'q' that I am passionate about") and reading his somewhat inimitable "can-i-feed-the-rabbits-george" recaps ("Well, I thought it went very well, our new tight end is going to be good he was a little nervous which is to be expected, but he will be very good I do believe"), I can't help but imagine him having to make sure that he's throwing to the right team when he steps onto the field.
"Coach said after we were done, we're gettin' pizza!"
I love that knucklehead!

Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 19 January 2006 02:19 (fourteen years ago) link

http://benroethlisberger.typepad.com/photos/ben_roethlisberger/52142922_10.jpg
"and I said hey why don't I say 'you know me as ben roethlisberger, but sometimes I like bbq so much, folks call me ben roethlisbarbeque and that's why I like the new bbq sauce it's goooooooooooooooood" but they said just stick to the script ben and i said ok"

Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 19 January 2006 02:23 (fourteen years ago) link

There is really not another person in the league that is as great as Ben Rofflesberger. If he came to post here, well I'd not believe it was him, but I'd be the happiest person in the world.

What is my favorite type of pie?

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 19 January 2006 03:07 (fourteen years ago) link

To be certain. You gotta love him.

Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 19 January 2006 03:10 (fourteen years ago) link

I have to say, his Fathead commercial is also the best. "How many walls does your room got? 2? 3? 4? 5? 6?" I mean, what type of houses has he been in? 2??? I mean a triangular room is one thing but 2 walls?? That's just a hallway, son.

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 19 January 2006 03:15 (fourteen years ago) link

the tricky part about Roethlisbertor is the fact that if you listen to him recap CERTAIN plays postgame at the press conferences he sounds like he's about 100x as smart as Manning or Brady or whoever. He's like "wellWhenYouputoutHines Wardontheplayactionthey'reallgonnagotoHines Ward asthegotoguybut wejust droppeditouttheretoMillerand Got the Touchdown"

It's like he's not even afraid to just basically read from the playbook week by week 'cause he knows Spitmaster Cowher is just gonna rewrite the package every Tuesday until the super Bowl.

Also, for Peyton, I think what he needs to do is just do something really out of sorts, he needs to go in front of the whole team and make them watch as he shaves his head, or lets his center shave his head, and they tell everyone he ain't cuttin' that shit again until he gets a ring.

TOMBOT, Thursday, 19 January 2006 03:53 (fourteen years ago) link

Maybe Peyton just needs to go have a lot fun sometimes and then it'd all be sorted. I mean, who doesn't like fun? Everyone needs to have a lot of fun. Just go out, stop being such a field general, and have a lot of fun. Seriously. I'm sure Eli has a lot of fun. I've seen pictures of Eli having a lot of fun. Peyton's hair isn't really a lot of fun but really it's gotta be his personality that's not a lot of fun when he keeps freaking out like so. Just have a lot of fun, it's a game, you know?

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 19 January 2006 03:57 (fourteen years ago) link

TOM, I agree with you, but it would be better if instead of his head, they went for the pubes.

Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 19 January 2006 03:58 (fourteen years ago) link

But then, I say that about most things. Including bar mitzvahs and c-sections.

Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 19 January 2006 03:59 (fourteen years ago) link

They do shave your pubes for c-sections though.

Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Thursday, 19 January 2006 14:59 (fourteen years ago) link

his writing reminds me of outlaw vern, but better.

Sloths B. Creepin (Adrian Langston), Thursday, 19 January 2006 15:06 (fourteen years ago) link

Ally, they do for bar mitzvahs as well. You must be Catholic.

Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Thursday, 19 January 2006 15:18 (fourteen years ago) link

I have to say, his Fathead commercial is also the best. "How many walls does your room got? 2? 3? 4? 5? 6?" I mean, what type of houses has he been in? 2??? I mean a triangular room is one thing but 2 walls?? That's just a hallway, son.

This is a great, underappreciated post.

polyphonic (polyphonic), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 00:26 (fourteen years ago) link

It DID catch an excelsior...

Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 01:19 (fourteen years ago) link

It's buy one fathead get one free until 1/31. I am close, so close to pulling the trigger.

laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 14:23 (fourteen years ago) link

Would you buy the subjects of this thread or just two Rofflebergers?

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 14:51 (fourteen years ago) link

NEVER

Browns helmet plus a Packers helmet for a misguided friend.

95 dollars though, geez.

laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 14:55 (fourteen years ago) link

there should be a discount on browns helmets, really

mookieproof (mookieproof), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 15:03 (fourteen years ago) link

They don't even have a design.

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 15:13 (fourteen years ago) link

KIDS TODAY WITH THEIR LOGOS AND iPODS

laurence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 15:35 (fourteen years ago) link

"Question of the day: What kind of peanut butter do I like? What brand and style?

This is a hard one, so I am interested to see who can guess this one right. Have a great day and special thanks to Coach Hep and his wife for everything they do. "

Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 19:15 (fourteen years ago) link

They must've made him a PBJ that day.

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 19:17 (fourteen years ago) link

"Ben! BEN! You KNOW you're not allowed to use the knife! No, I don't CARE if it's a butter knife. You put that down this instant! Well if you're hungry, Coach and I will make you a sandwich. You go play in the yard, now. Skedaddle!"

Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 19:19 (fourteen years ago) link

I bet he likes Jif. Crunchy.

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 19:43 (fourteen years ago) link

Peyton probably uses Peter Pan.

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 20:03 (fourteen years ago) link

Do they even still make Peter Pan peanut butter???! I would put Peyton as a Skippy Honey Nut smooth kind of guy.

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 20:05 (fourteen years ago) link

Eli eats crunchy just to piss off the 'rents and make them have to buy two kinds of peanut butter.

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 20:06 (fourteen years ago) link

Plummer chews up peanuts and spreads the resulting paste between two pieces of bread, etc. I can do this all day!

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 20:06 (fourteen years ago) link

Bret Favre has peanut butter on his hairy knuckles because he refuses to throw out the jar, even after its nutty contents have long been depleted.

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 20:20 (fourteen years ago) link

Shaun Alexander eats Nutella.

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 20:25 (fourteen years ago) link

WAIT WAIT INTERRUPTION

HAVE ANY OF YOU READ THE COMMENTS ON BEN'S POSTS?

HALF OF THEM START OUT WITH "I'M OLD ENOUGH TO BE YOUR MOTHER..."

WTF! MIDDLE AGE WIMMINS BE SCOPING THE ROETHLISBUTT

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 20:27 (fourteen years ago) link

Shocking!

David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 20:30 (fourteen years ago) link

Isn't this the only reason why women watch football?

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 20:31 (fourteen years ago) link

Oh why don't you come say that to my face.

Allyzay Rofflesberger (allyzay), Wednesday, 25 January 2006 20:39 (fourteen years ago) link

shaun of the ben

ok that doesn't quite make sense does it?

six months pass...

http://www.psamp.com/images/stories/benstache.jpg

mookieproof, Friday, 23 October 2009 05:42 (ten years ago) link

no

everyone kills people (the schef (adam schefter ha ha)), Friday, 23 October 2009 14:20 (ten years ago) link

contentBody

jØrdån (omar little), Tuesday, 27 October 2009 21:23 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

http://thatschurch.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/bennyhot.jpg

mookieproof, Thursday, 24 December 2009 06:45 (ten years ago) link

three weeks pass...
three weeks pass...

i rarely remember my dreams, but I woke up this morning with a clear memory of having watched a televised Roethlisberger PSA where he was talking about the dangers of diabetes and he said "There are eighteen people in my family with diabetes. Ten are currently being treated. None live in my house. Won't you help?"

forksclovetofu, Wednesday, 10 February 2010 15:23 (ten years ago) link

dr. ben rofflesberger

mookieproof, Wednesday, 10 February 2010 15:44 (ten years ago) link

three weeks pass...

tbh i can no longer think of ben without picturing this guy

http://i49.tinypic.com/kcil3a.jpg

Are Slimes the Jews of monsterdom? (cankles), Tuesday, 9 March 2010 23:18 (nine years ago) link

"hey uh... i think i'm gonna rape you now"

forksclovetofu, Tuesday, 9 March 2010 23:34 (nine years ago) link

yo guys just wanted to pop in and say that ben can rape like 80 girls a day so long as he keeps gettin dem RINGS, SIXBURGH BABY WOOOOOO, i hope he plows pussy all day long, leaving a wake of shattered young females behind him, mere shivering husks, weeping before an unresponsive public as long as it gives him the strength to FIND HEATH MILLER OVER THE MIDDLE FOR A FIRST DOWN and UNDERTHROW IT TO MIKE WALLACE FOR A STILLERS TOUCHDOWN and i don't care if that makes me a bad person

Are Slimes the Jews of monsterdom? (cankles), Friday, 12 March 2010 03:51 (nine years ago) link

four months pass...

Profootballtalk.com passes along "rumors" that suspended Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger was recently caught urinating on a Columbus (OH) golf course by a woman who supposedly now intends to press charges.

PFT's Mike Florio acknowledges that this is all rumor for now, and that the main source of the story is "multiple emails over the past two days." However, Florio does have a legitimate source who's confirmed Roethlisberger indeed was golfing in Columbus. The same source claims Big Ben was not the person urinating -- it was another member of Roethlisberger's foursome.

mayor jingleberries, Tuesday, 13 July 2010 16:46 (nine years ago) link

tbf, dudes take a piss on golf courses all the time.

Johnny Fever, Tuesday, 13 July 2010 17:17 (nine years ago) link

tru, but dude gotta keep it in his pants

two years pass...
five years pass...

The Steelers are a steroid controversy and a nightclub shooting away from being the team from Playmakers right now. https://t.co/f5O8cqMo9e

— Robert Klemko (@RobertKlemko) September 20, 2018

mookieproof, Thursday, 20 September 2018 20:43 (one year ago) link


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