lies, rumors, and erroneous information spread about musicians at your school as a wee thing

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My pumped stomach story was with poor ol' Elton John..

Baaderoni (Fabfunk), Thursday, 4 March 2004 14:33 (twenty years ago) link

cliff richard's has a colostomy bag.

cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 4 March 2004 14:36 (twenty years ago) link

tom even as a child i'm not sure i could have believed that

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 March 2004 14:38 (twenty years ago) link

so it appears the lineage is:

elton john ->rod stewart -> marc almond -> billy idol -> RICKY MARTIN

jeremy jordan (cruisy), Thursday, 4 March 2004 14:39 (twenty years ago) link

all queerer than a three dollar bill

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 March 2004 14:41 (twenty years ago) link

I think the logic was - we 13-year-old-boys think about sex all the time and we are all virgins. Prince thinks about sex all the time. QED.

Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 4 March 2004 14:42 (twenty years ago) link

ah, the old "you wouldnt be thinking about it so much if you've had/are having it"

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 March 2004 14:42 (twenty years ago) link

Gene Simmons had a cow's tongue grafted onto his own.
Alice Cooper drank his own pee onstage.
A constipated Elvis died overexerting himself on the toilet.
KISS, Ozzy, Led Zeppelin, etc. worship the devil.
Buckethead is Steve Vai.

rainman (rainman), Thursday, 4 March 2004 14:43 (twenty years ago) link

In my school, why growing up, us kids tended to spread these vicious rumours about George Michael being gay......


;)

Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Thursday, 4 March 2004 14:43 (twenty years ago) link

I heard it was one of the guys from the Fine Young Cannibals

the stomach pump story that is

Michael B, Thursday, 4 March 2004 14:44 (twenty years ago) link

'vicious'.

cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 4 March 2004 14:45 (twenty years ago) link

so it was geir all along that turned george michael gay

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 March 2004 14:45 (twenty years ago) link

Yes the elvis constipation one seconded.

Also Paul's Anti Christ, Death of Christ. In fact I still beieve that.

Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 4 March 2004 14:45 (twenty years ago) link

cozen: The word "vicious" was meant in a rather ironic way here. Although to typical homophobic kids, the rumours were certainly that.

Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Thursday, 4 March 2004 14:46 (twenty years ago) link

"Metallica are really good"

David Allen (David Allen), Thursday, 4 March 2004 14:59 (twenty years ago) link

that my history teacher's sister was married to Jello Biafra.

he was later convicted of touching 16 year olds.

brock (brock), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:00 (twenty years ago) link

Suggestions of Rod Stewart's gayness seems to be a uniquely American thing. Why they think this I have no idea (apart from that it's funny)

DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:01 (twenty years ago) link

I know I know geir! I'm just playin w. you.

cozen (Cozen), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:04 (twenty years ago) link

only a man with a high understanding of camp could have made "forever young"

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:05 (twenty years ago) link

Dead pop star jokes were all the rage at my school.

Did you hear Marc Bolan was on the radio the night he died?

And the dashboard, the steering wheel...

What was Marc Bolan's last hit?

A tree!

LondonLee (LondonLee), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:06 (twenty years ago) link

Very adaptable, that first one...

DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:11 (twenty years ago) link

AC/DC = Anti Christ, Death of Christ

"All Cunts Die Cunts" was the version I heard.

LondonLee (LondonLee), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:12 (twenty years ago) link

oh, and teddy pendergrass getting a blowjob from a drag queen moments before he had his car accident. but there is some truth to that story.at least the drag queen part is true, i think, if not the BJ part.

scott seward (scott seward), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:12 (twenty years ago) link

LUTHER VANDROSS WANTING A HAMBURGER BUT ONLY HAVING TWO DONUTS INSTEAD OF A ROLL SO USING THEM INSTEAD

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:13 (twenty years ago) link

poor luther...he used to get it worse than oprah and robert smith combined

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:14 (twenty years ago) link

I never heard that AC/DC was an acronym for anything, but rather that they were all bisexual. It was some time later, though, that I actually found out what "bisexual" meant.

rainman (rainman), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:15 (twenty years ago) link

Some of my Kiss-fan friends had a lot of weird stories going on about Kiss, like they used to live in Norway before and one of the songs on "Unmasked" was about Norwegian tabloid paper Dagbladet and all the stories they used to write about Kiss. There was also the story that Peter Criss was the fastest drummer in the world, with about 100 hits a second.

Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:22 (twenty years ago) link

'Michael Jackson is a woman' - I actually believed this when I was 8, and tried in vain to convince my 12 year old cousin about this. By the way he (my cousin!) was the only Accept fan I ever knew, he had tons of Udo Dirckschneider posters in his room.

matulageci, Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:30 (twenty years ago) link

I've recently been trying to convince Alice (3) that MJ is not a woman.

mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:34 (twenty years ago) link

LUTHER VANDROSS WANTING A HAMBURGER BUT ONLY HAVING TWO DONUTS INSTEAD OF A ROLL SO USING THEM INSTEAD

I've been recounting this story for years (except it was his favourite snack, not a one-off thing). I'll be needing pretty strong proof it never happened before I stop

DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:42 (twenty years ago) link

Old work colleague said her dad knew Rod in the '60s and that Rod was rent.

suzy (suzy), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:48 (twenty years ago) link

bill the cat died of aids
ad rock=skreech

kephm, Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:50 (twenty years ago) link

ad-rock was just skreech's brother - everybody knows that
Michael and Dustin Diamond. Shit. This is obvious.

matulageci, Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:53 (twenty years ago) link

Mike D, not Ad Rock.

rainman (rainman), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:56 (twenty years ago) link

hey fuckhead, define everyone . thanks kisses xpost

kephm, Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:58 (twenty years ago) link

Stomach pump story got passed on to poor Jewel at my school.

original bgm, Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:59 (twenty years ago) link

is jewel the first woman to inherit it?

strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 4 March 2004 15:59 (twenty years ago) link

A Kiss comic book was printed with their blood in the ink. (How is it the stories about Kiss are more interesting than the freakin' band, eh?) (Hosers.)

I thought Luther ADMITTED to doing that! I'll swear on a Bible / Spin Alt. Guide / holy book of choice I saw some ET segment where he described that whole sordid scenario.

David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 4 March 2004 16:04 (twenty years ago) link

The Rod Stewart story which had turned into the Marc Almond story had turned into the Alanis Morrisette story by the time I was in school.

roxymuzak (roxymuzak), Thursday, 4 March 2004 16:07 (twenty years ago) link

the only one I can remember was of ozzy tossing 5 kittens out into the audience and saying he wouldn't start the show until all five were killed and thrown back on stage.

Jonathan (Jonathan), Thursday, 4 March 2004 16:08 (twenty years ago) link

"What was Marc Bolan's last hit?"

It was "Wrap a yellow mini 'round an old oak tree" wasn't it?

Oh, I'm so so sorry, I just couldn't stop that - I'm afraid my computer is suffering from tourettes syndrome.

Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Thursday, 4 March 2004 16:17 (twenty years ago) link

bollocks is it...

mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 4 March 2004 16:19 (twenty years ago) link

My stepbrother was adamant that Rage Against The Machine were a nazi band when I was just getting into them, age about 13. He said they were called that because they think black people are machines. "It's a shame cos their music is really good," he noted. The really sad thing is I spent ages studying their lyrics for any evidence of his claim. Didn't find much.

DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 4 March 2004 16:26 (twenty years ago) link

"bollocks is it... "

Yours too eh? It's a fucking pain in the fucking arse, isn't it you bastard?

Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Thursday, 4 March 2004 16:30 (twenty years ago) link

Ozzy did the drinking of bucket of passed-around spit in the vers. I heard.

Ozzy hung a midget onstage.

Ozzy killed a bunch of dobermans onstage with a chainsaw.

(This was was kinda gruesome and apparently very specific to my school)

Jimi Hendrix always wore headbands because he had cut on his forhead that he would jam drugs into

(which makes no sense on a number of levels but we didn't really know shit about Hendrix or drugs at the time)

W.A.S.P. stands for either A) We Are Satan's People or B) We Are Sexual Perverts

(This was told to me at a Peter's Brothers semiar The Truth About Rock, a travellling anti-rock "crusade" show my mom took me to)

On the cover of Who's Next, the Who have just urinated on a memorial to deceased British WWII veterens.

M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Thursday, 4 March 2004 16:35 (twenty years ago) link

Is it true that Gene Simmons cut the little part of his tongue that connects it to the bottom of the mouth, so that he would be able to stick it out really far?

WASP= We are Satan's People

I am not familiar with the stomach pump story. What are the details exactly?

Mitchell (Mitchell), Thursday, 4 March 2004 16:41 (twenty years ago) link

Oh you beat me to the punch with WASP.

I remember hearing that Jimi would soak the headband in heroin and then it would seep into the wound on his forehead.

Mitchell (Mitchell), Thursday, 4 March 2004 16:42 (twenty years ago) link

Very specific version of the Marc Almond story regarding him being notorious for doing his thang in the local park as he was from Southport (my home town).

Jim Robinson (Original Miscreant), Thursday, 4 March 2004 16:46 (twenty years ago) link

Ozzy did hang a midget onstage - as part of the stage act, but still.

We Are Sexual Perverts, according to Blackie Lawless.

Why doesn't the Hendrix thing make sense? I figure it would work pretty well.

DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 4 March 2004 16:46 (twenty years ago) link

Stomach pump: he/she was filled with fluids. Men's fluids. Men's fluids of LURVE.

Jim Robinson (Original Miscreant), Thursday, 4 March 2004 16:47 (twenty years ago) link

that there was a band who wouldn't go onstage unless they all had boners.

I believe that this band was Motorhead.

Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Sunday, 25 September 2005 18:40 (eighteen years ago) link

Prince and Michael Jackson were brothers. one more 'Jordan from NKOTB'-era stomach pumping.

tremendoid (tremendoid), Sunday, 25 September 2005 20:00 (eighteen years ago) link

Marilyn Man1on is the kid from Mr Belvedere

Some Guy, Sunday, 25 September 2005 21:34 (eighteen years ago) link

I think this one may be true, the Beastie Boys made fun of someone at their concert who was disabled or had leukemia or something.

Some Guy, Sunday, 25 September 2005 21:36 (eighteen years ago) link

two years pass...

Terminator X was white, and this was the reason all Public Enemy band photos were shot in monochrome so nobody would know.

Kanye raps about stuff other than shoes on the radio, Saturday, 13 September 2008 13:23 (fifteen years ago) link

kurt cobain killed himself because he had aids, "teen spirit" was about aids.

internet person, Saturday, 13 September 2008 13:43 (fifteen years ago) link

Two GG Allin suicide-on-stage stories - 1) he was going to go onstage firing a machine gun, or 2) he was going to shove a stick of dynamite up his ass and light it, then jump into the crowd. TBH there are enough real documented on film incidents of Allin crapping on stage, drinking pee from a bottle, etc., that just about anything is believable about him.

Luther Vandross didn't invent the Luther burger, but was a bit fan of them, and (here's the sketchy bit) he invented the practice of turning over the donut halves so that the icing is on the inside, because he was fed up of getting sticky fingers.

snoball, Saturday, 13 September 2008 13:49 (fifteen years ago) link

A bit later than school, but a friend claimed and I believed that Autechre used to be Jive Bunny.

Neil S, Saturday, 13 September 2008 14:03 (fifteen years ago) link

In my school, during the mid 80s, there was a cruel rumour being spread about George Michael being gay. The girls were very upset by us boys spreading such a vicious rumour........

Geir Hongro, Saturday, 13 September 2008 14:40 (fifteen years ago) link

The stomach pump story mentioned several times upthread probably existed as an urban legend about a random cheerleader before it was attached to any pop star:

http://www.snopes.com/college/risque/cheerleader.asp

Tuomas, Saturday, 13 September 2008 15:25 (fifteen years ago) link

http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/rockstar.asp

According to the Snopes page on the pop star version of the story it's also been told of Jon Bon Jovi, which sounds a bit odd to me. I've never heard of him having a "gay" reputation.

Tuomas, Saturday, 13 September 2008 15:27 (fifteen years ago) link

Btw, I've heard the "gross-out contest" story mentioned upthread being told of Alice Cooper and Frank Zappa. The version I heard was that they were on stage at the same time (the story doesn't explain why they would have shared a stage), and decided to have a contest on who could the grossest thing in front of the audience. So Alice Cooper pulls down his pants and shits on the stage, then gets up with a smile on his face, thinking he has won. But then Zappa eats the shit.

Tuomas, Saturday, 13 September 2008 15:35 (fifteen years ago) link

"overindulgent cheerleader"
wau

ian, Saturday, 13 September 2008 17:34 (fifteen years ago) link

eight years pass...

Huh, I didn't realise there were that many variations on the "stomach pump" story...

Coolio Iglesias (Turrican), Thursday, 9 March 2017 14:04 (seven years ago) link

"George Michael is gay!"

― Michael B, Thursday, March 4, 2004 9:23 AM (thirteen years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

The version at our school was 'George Michael had a sex change!'

how's life, Thursday, 9 March 2017 14:13 (seven years ago) link

All three of the Beastie Boys died of drug overdoses sometime after License to Ill was released.

The twin snake of violence and sex is more like a sick wolf. (Old Lunch), Thursday, 9 March 2017 14:21 (seven years ago) link

James Brown loved his drummer so much he wanted him to fly to Sweden to get a sex change operation, so he could marry him.

AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 9 March 2017 15:49 (seven years ago) link

A bit later than school, but a friend claimed and I believed that Autechre used to be Jive Bunny.

― Neil S, Saturday, September 13, 2008 2:03 PM (eight years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I think this one might be my favourite of the ones posted so far!

Coolio Iglesias (Turrican), Thursday, 9 March 2017 16:10 (seven years ago) link

It's a good one but clearly way off. Everyone knows that Autechre used to be the Jump in the Saddle Band.

The twin snake of violence and sex is more like a sick wolf. (Old Lunch), Thursday, 9 March 2017 16:17 (seven years ago) link


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