BREAKING UP - this is the strangest breakup I ever had.

so is defeating terrorism.

Ah, I just finished my LavaLive account and will now sit back and wait for the chicks to roll in! *Feet on desk, hands clasped behind head*

If you've been with her for five years (and correct me if im wrong, i obv have no idea about anything to do w your relationship) and there's been a lot of moodiness, this sounds almost somewhat vague.

Either that or (and this is probably more likely) she's in denial and you need to tell her up-front in plain words what you want to happen, so she gets the message clearly.

that was about 18 months ago, and day-to-day we're now as happy as we've been in our five years (and some) together. but we haven't once spoken about the future since this happened, and i don't know where we're going. and i'm afraid to bring it up.

help me?

(but yeah, any happy relationship that requires no work at all is either between incestuous identical twins or is a lie)

clonie!

that'd be the creepiest ever.

Good luck to you, whoever you are.

So then I asked, "So you do want to move out, right?"and started to bob her head like "yeah sure" but her lower lip began to tremble and this crack in the facade was immediately followed by crying.

So, I think this will be the talk that stops this kind of behavior in the future. We both realized that we just had a vicious cycle thing going but in both of our heads we were thinking, "what's his/her problem?"

I came up with some really "gay" solutions that just might work. The first part is something my dad used to do: a kiss when we leave and a kiss when we come back, so that when we walk in the door we don't misinterpret a bad mood as "I hate you for some reason." Secondly, she has to stop the silent treatment stuff and tell me what's wrong. We agreed to that so she knows we can't slide into old habits. And thirdly, the obvious: don't go to bed mad (or at least try).

We're basically just trying to avoid miscommunication, not entirely quashing our right to be angry with each other once in a while. When we started talking about what the hell the problem was, it became obvious that she thought I didn't like her. She probably thought this because I would come home to the silent treatment so often, I just stopped pussyfooting around her. So, she'd be in a bad mood one night and we'd go to bed annoyed with each other. Then, I'd come home the next night expecting her to still be a rag and kind of snubbing her.

But, after we discovered the problem, it took away all the feelings of "fuck this bullshit" that I had for the relationship. So now, obviously, I won't be using LavaLife and I'm right back to feeling like I'm in a sold, meaningful relationship again. We have so little drama, but I guess there's bound to be a few snags here and there.

Thanks for your helping me think this through during those crucial hours on Saturday. I'm really glad you all weren't saying "fuck that noise" and rather encouraging me to talk it over with her.