I Need Kitchen Knives plus Kurt Russell is Kicking Your Ass

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They have an Escape from New York special box set out nowadays, just FYI to anyone who would be interested in ever owning this or perhaps mysteriously purchasing it for me.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 03:35 (twenty years ago) link

I just never realized how much that one photo of me from J4 resembled the Capt. Ron poster so much. I'm kind of horrified.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 03:37 (twenty years ago) link

"that one photo"

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 03:39 (twenty years ago) link

lest we forget:

http://www.pygmalion.ws/images/overboard.jpg

― g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 03:40 (twenty years ago) link

I know which photo he means! it's true!

― Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 03:40 (twenty years ago) link

http://bitchcakes.topcities.com/July4/tombryan.jpg
"FUNNY!"

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 03:42 (twenty years ago) link

I spent a Christmas season moonlighting at one a them high-end kitchen places (you know, the kind with the $2,000 espresso makers), and among the many useful things I learned there was a little about knives. We only sold two brands, Heckels and Wusthof. The knife guy said (and I repeated as gospel to many a customer, so I hope it was true) that Wusthof was better because their knives were still just single pieces, while Henckels had recently switched to a tripartite manufacturing system, with the handle made of some kind of compressed metal (the metal equivalent of plywood, the blade separate, and then a third little piece joining the two. This offended the knife guy's sense of aesthetics, and he also suspected it would mean problems somewhere down the line. Since the knives cost about the same, I don't think this was an effort to convince customers to "buy up" or whatever (although for all I know maybe the knife guy was on some secret Wusthof payroll; I don't think so, though, he really seemed passionate about this stuff). Also, he swore that the only knives anyone needed were an 8" chef's knife, a serrated bread knife and a 4" paring knife. This did not stop him from selling entire sets, including ridiculously huge butcher knives, to shoppers who clearly wanted them as kitchen props. But this, too, offended his sense of aesthetics. He took their money, but gave them no respect. So, that's all I know about knives. And sharpen those things every 6 months or so, too, depending on how much you use them.

http://www.cyberkino.de/entertainment/kino/102/102584b1.jpg

― spittle (spittle), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 03:45 (twenty years ago) link

I am a big fan of the pairing knife purchase.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 03:46 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.quartzcity.net/~chris/2003nyc/drunks.jpg
I just wanted to post that.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 03:59 (twenty years ago) link

I kind of want to beat the crap out of you right now, Tom.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 04:04 (twenty years ago) link

It would make a brilliant movie poster though. Anyway I'm all about that ass obviously.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 04:08 (twenty years ago) link

That's right, ladies, Captain Ron also does "romantic"!!

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 04:11 (twenty years ago) link

What the hell kind of movie would that be anyway? It looks like the stupidest college movie ever, worse than Van Wilder.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 04:12 (twenty years ago) link

wow, that's harsh.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 04:15 (twenty years ago) link

yeah, all you need is a cartoon bus in the background and a title in bubble font. Rock!

― Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 04:20 (twenty years ago) link

They need Catbus in the background.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 04:20 (twenty years ago) link

I'm pretty sure Jeremy Piven should be in this movie.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 04:22 (twenty years ago) link

Actually I think what this calls for is a bus with big green picnic tables and pitchers of Spaten for everybody.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 04:24 (twenty years ago) link

You know what your post calls for?

I've got something to tell ya
I've got news for you
Gonna put some wheels in motion
get ready 'cause we're coming through
Hey now, hey now, here's what I say now
Happiness is just around the corner
Hey now, hey now, here's what I say now
We'll be there for you

(chorus)
The Vengabus is coming
and everybody's jumping
New York to San Francisco
An intercity disco
The wheels of steel are turning
And traffic lights are burning
So if you like to party
get on and move your body

We like to party
we like, we like to party
we like to party
we like, we like to party

Hey now, hey now here's what I say now
happiness is just around the corner
Hey now, hey now, here's what I say now
we'll be there for you

(chorus)

We like to party
we like, we like to party
we like to party
we like, we like to party
we like to party
we like, we like to party
we like to party
we like, we like to party

The Vengabus is coming The Vengabus is coming The Vengabus is coming The
Vengabus is...

(chorus)

The Vengabus is coming

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 04:31 (twenty years ago) link

Vengagun ain't far behind.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 04:33 (twenty years ago) link

What?

― Ajazay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 04:34 (twenty years ago) link

That song always reminds me of metro garbage removal. I saw this city worker with his yellow pickup truck one night - slinging the bags into the back, wiggling his butt and blaring Vengaboys. That guy knew how to party.

― Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 04:36 (twenty years ago) link

Sorry, FFX2 is invading my life possibly?

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 04:39 (twenty years ago) link

Seriously, if there is a weapon called the Vengagun, I am suddenly way more down with guns than I was just a day ago.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 05:20 (twenty years ago) link

har! i just played the first Vegnagun sequence last night. i'm now learing how to play Sphere Break.

also, why can't all ps2 games have lesbian massage sequences?

― El Santo Claus (Kingfish), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 05:25 (twenty years ago) link

I got a Henckels block but I bought my knives piecemeal. Unless you're doing major preparation, you really only need a big knife, a small knife, and a serrated knife.

― myfriendmyfriend, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 05:26 (twenty years ago) link

The whole game is kinda messed. BTW: take you time and do the side quests. They're more fun then the storyline ones, except that stupid cactuar one. Gawd I hated doing that in the last game too.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 14:05 (twenty years ago) link

heh heh, tombot way funnier than c-man, so it's okay!

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 14:12 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.posterplanet.net/pictures/images/Kr2b1.gif

buy the block tombot
don't be a big ol' knife nerd
life is way too short

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 15:18 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.jonprovost.com/JonsPhotos/Computer.JPG

This has always been my advice to the graduates: whatever you do, get a serrated knife.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 15:32 (twenty years ago) link

My most recent experience with a serrated knife ended in huge amounts of my blood all over the damn place. Spinktor was there, he saw the whole thing. My pinky was jacked up for weeks. Costco has a big unnecessary Henckels block for $160, I think I might just go get that one and stop worrying about it.

http://www.frontiernet.net/~cineman/break.jpg

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 18:34 (twenty years ago) link

I got a nice Wustoff set. 8 piece, $300. Wedding present. Just marry.

― Chris 'Knuckle Deep' V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 18:42 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.pathguy.com/russell.gif

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 18:48 (twenty years ago) link

make sure you have one
dishwasherable small knife
(dishpan hands k-suck)
http://www.wingkong.net/newpics/newer/shiva.jpg

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 18:53 (twenty years ago) link

Re kitchen knives, get a big Global knife. It's susposably what all the real chefs use, and, like them, you just need one of them unless you're going to do a lot of fish filleting or something. Global knives are really good cause they hold their edge really long and they're really really light but they are also pretty expensive. But you just need one. This one's good.

― in lieu of Ed (tracerhand), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 18:55 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.film.warka.pl/images/kurt2/computer.jpg

for pinky carving I recommend the paring knife

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 18:56 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.pub.umich.edu/daily/1998/nov/11-04-98/photos/fileartssoldier.gif

Kurt sez: Be a knife nerd. What better kind of nerd to be?

Don't get the block. Don't buy boutique German knives. Find a restaurant supply store and get a couple of Dexter-Russell knives. They're the brand butchers use. They stay sharp. They're ugly as shit. They're cheap. They're what Kurt would use.

― Marcel Post (Marcel Post), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 18:58 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.russell-harrington.com/

― Marcel Post (Marcel Post), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:01 (twenty years ago) link

Unless your wedding cost $299 or less then that trade off is not a very good one, Chris.

http://ibelgique.ifrance.com/cinedestin/films/n/newyork19972.jpg

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:11 (twenty years ago) link

This thread is alarmingly lacking in Tango & Cash references. God, that movie was so fucking terrible.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:12 (twenty years ago) link

CAPTAIN RON WASN'T BAD ENOUGH FOR YOU??? WHAT THE FUCK.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:16 (twenty years ago) link

My barracks roommates never got Captain Ron.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:20 (twenty years ago) link

I don't think anyone ever got Captain Ron.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:23 (twenty years ago) link

i feel a little calum abt this, but "6" semi-stiff crvd. boner" from that russell-harrington site made me chuckle.

― g--ff (gcannon), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:25 (twenty years ago) link

I've long had this fantasy about opening up a theme bar in San Francisco called 'Escape from L.A.' I think it would do very well.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:32 (twenty years ago) link

You could serve "Mango and Dash," a drink made from tropical fruit and Angostura bitters.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:34 (twenty years ago) link

haha, this would be written above the bar:

"You may have survived Cleveland. You may have escaped from New York. But, this is L.A., vato. And, you're about to find out that this f*cking city can kill anybody!"

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:35 (twenty years ago) link

also, the bartender would only ever say: "Call me Snake"

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:36 (twenty years ago) link

Patron: How much?
Bartender: Call me Snake.
Patron: Uh, pardon? How much?
Bartender: Call me Snake.
Patron: I don't understand.
Bartender: Call me Snake.
Patron: (walks away without paying)

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:37 (twenty years ago) link

DAMMIT ally I just wrote MY version of that scene. Eh. Here it is anyway.

"Can I have an 'Unlawful Entry,' no rocks please?"

"Call me Snake"

"Uh, can I have an 'Unlawful Entry,' no rocks, SNAKE?"

"Call me Snake" etc until customer slaps bartender hilariously

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 30 December 2003 19:39 (twenty years ago) link

Skipping 28 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Holy CatDog in a CarTruck, that Catbus is HappyCreepy.

― Crickets Dance On Tequila Booty (Barima), Monday, 31 May 2004 12:21 (nineteen years ago) link

Email me your address and I will mail you an eyepatch and some POMADE, Tracer Hand Man of the Streets.

― Allyzay, Monday, 31 May 2004 21:11 (nineteen years ago) link

my god, not only did I learn about knives and Kurt Russell, but I got to see the Catbus, all on ILX. And I get to say: I too have a catbus plush toy and, though quite small it is The Best (shopping for it in Vancouver's chinatown involved much: "No, I don't want a totoro, just a catbus. Yes, totoro is cute, but I'm looking for a catbus. etc.") Thank you, ILXers.

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Monday, 31 May 2004 22:43 (nineteen years ago) link

http://store5.yimg.com/I/anime-spectrum_1790_98676610

say hello to my very own plushie ark of the covenant.

― ARL (Adrian Langston), Monday, 31 May 2004 23:48 (nineteen years ago) link

~:D

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 00:33 (nineteen years ago) link

MIYAZAKI WILL PAY FOR HIS CRIMES

― Kingfish Disraeli (Kingfish), Tuesday, 1 June 2004 01:24 (nineteen years ago) link

ten months pass...

I still never got that fuckin eyepatch.

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Friday, 15 April 2005 02:34 (nineteen years ago) link

We do have the catbus though.

― TOMBOT, Friday, 15 April 2005 02:53 (nineteen years ago) link

Yeah but I promised TRACER an eyepatch, not MYSELF a catbus.

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Friday, 15 April 2005 03:17 (nineteen years ago) link

But YOU got a catbus without even ASKING for one and TRACER got a graduate degree from UK LAND.

― TOMBOT, Friday, 15 April 2005 03:21 (nineteen years ago) link

http://www.cdfa.ca.gov/dairy/images/Cheese-flow-chart-clr.gif

― Remy (x Jeremy), Friday, 15 April 2005 03:21 (nineteen years ago) link

this thread is one of the greats.

― g e o f f (gcannon), Friday, 15 April 2005 05:08 (nineteen years ago) link

did he actually get a degree? he rang the other night but it was after half past nine and we'd long had our horlicks and gone to bed.

― Ed (dali), Friday, 15 April 2005 05:09 (nineteen years ago) link

one year passes...

How do we feel about this deal?

― this, however, is the crucial moment from the libertine's point of view (kenan), Monday, 23 October 2006 15:05 (seventeen years ago) link

three years pass...

Classic Americana, distilled into 3 minutes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mp5Nt2MUHms

― kingfish, Monday, 11 January 2010 23:26 (fourteen years ago) link

I bought a block at IKEA and they're all still holding up fine.

we did this, and they bend while cutting bread. wil buy individually any more i think.

― Not a reactionary git, just an idiot. (darraghmac), Tuesday, 12 January 2010 12:51 (fourteen years ago) link

otm. I used to have a little Sabatier kitchen knife that previously belonged to my late Granny and which stayed sharp forever. Last year I spotted a block of Sabatier knives in TK Maxx reduced to £50 or so and figured they would be a good bet. Rong. Total junk, they weren't properly sharp even when brand new.

― Bill A, Tuesday, 12 January 2010 12:59 (fourteen years ago) link

I've got a Global chef's knife and a paring knife. That's about it.

― mh, Tuesday, 12 January 2010 15:17 (fourteen years ago) link

I have those IKEA knives. For the money, they've certainly served me well, but in the end they are bendy & dull, & always have been tbh. I've been thinking about investing in a decent set. Are Wusthofs overrated? I know they are sharp as fuck when they are new, but how are they for longevity?

Also, I really need to see Escape From New York.

― Dino-linguist Noam Chompsky (Pillbox), Tuesday, 12 January 2010 17:08 (fourteen years ago) link

ten years pass...

still love my globals

― El Tomboto, Thursday, 21 May 2020 02:40 (three years ago) link

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