Favorite lines from Seinfeld?

any number of times

v

they fooled me, Jerry

Me: Yay! No more crappy base interludes!

Elaine: My roommate has Lyme disease.
Jerry: Lyme disease? I thought she had Epstein-Barr Syndrome?
Elaine: She has this in addition to Epstein-Barr. It's like Epstein-Barr with a twist of Lyme disease.

oh yeah also when george sez he "coined the phrase" pardon my french

"Am I insane, Jerry? Or am I so sane that I just blew your mind?!"

"This! This! I don't LIKE this! And THIS is what I'm going to do with it!"

ALSO what was the name of the whiskey that Kramer drinks that has no odor? Henneseys? Cos he had that great song about it.

"I'm a man. You know who else is a man? Charlie's a man."

mind you i also think friends is pretty funny even though i also hate it

True, it's like an insidious drug that doesn't get you high until you're addicted...."I smoked it once and didn't feel anything..." It may be that Seinfeld isn't funny in one dose but has an intertexuatlity requirement for appreciation. You don't laugh at what was said today, but because what was said today comments on what was said in all the previous episodes (which, as an addict, you have naturally seen). This effect continues unbroken through Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm which is utterly cruel and unfunny until you realize that it's from the Seinfeld creator and he's doing Seinfeld over again with a harder edge. Seinfeld hardly needs Jerry, he's never funny. Larry David is funny...or not.

I dunno about that, but the last episode sort of made more explicit what the whole show had been about.

I think this was mentioned on the xander/bez threads

yes! i love all the descriptions that happen in that episode

"A guy who's about five foot eleven, he's got uh, a big head and flared nostrils."
- Kramer, describing Jerry

"Like, a horse face, big teeth, and a pointed nose."
- George, describing Jerry

"A short guy with glasses, looked like Humpty Dumpty with a melon head."
- The ticket lady, describing George

"A pretty woman, you know, kinda short, big wall of hair, face like a frying pan."
- George, describing Elaine

"You know we've LIVING in a SOCIETY!"

GEORGE: She treated me to the Arabian mocha java.
JERRY: And you misinterpret this how?

"Take toilet paper for example. Do you realize that toilet paper hasvnot changed in my lifetime? It's just paper on a cardboard roll, that's it. And in ten thousand years, it will still be exactly the same because really, what else can they do?"

“you find this fascinating, don’t you?”

I think my #1 is from Susan, not one of the principals: "Yeah, give me the papers--I'll sign 'em."

Haha her delivery on that was great

Elaine: Can’t you see what’s happened? I’ve become George!
Jerry: Don’t say that!
Elaine: It’s true.. I’m George.. GEORGE!

George, from "The Conversion": "This is the only woman I've never lied to...well, that's not entirely true."

"Who told you to put the balm on?"

George at his therapist’s office:

GEORGE: What if the pilot gets picked up and it becomes a series?

DANA: That'd be wonderful George, you'll be rich and successful.

GEORGE: Yeah, that's exactly what I'm worried about. God would never let me be successful. He'd kill me first. He'd never let me be happy.

DANA: I thought you didn't believe in God?

GEORGE: I do for the bad things.

All right! But hear me, and hear me well! The day will come! Oh, yes, mark my words, Seinfeld! Your day of reckoning is coming, when an evil wind will blow through your little playworld and wipe that smug smile off your face! And I'll be there in all my glory, watching, watching as it all comes crumbling down!

If you’re one of us… you’ll take a bite.

Elaine: So, because of a few bad seeds, you're going to impugn an entire continent?

Jerry: Yes, I'm impugning a continent.

“elaine, i could see not saying hello. she’s very, what’s the word, supercilious. but HOW COULD JERRY NOT SAY HELLO?”

Jerry and George discussing the word ‘barometer’.
Kramer: “It’s pronounced thermometer.”

“I believe that’s what you do with garbage, you idiot”

(Bill Erman as old man Jerry was visiting)

Erwin

George: I was spottin' those raccoons!

No one can tell you what a balm's gonna do. They are unpredictable!