This is super nitpickey, but I also hate it when people recommend things to me on the first message. It seems very male and paternal, somehow. I think it's better if you could frame it like, "I don't know if you're familiar with x, but..." I think the content of the message itself isn't so important, just show that you've read her profile and engaged with it in some way.Oh, comments about pics are ok if you comment about something that's happening in the background. One person wrote me (among other things): "You have a nice face!" I thought that was kind of okay. I wrote him back and told him he had a nice smile and never heard from him again.
― Virginia Plain, Friday, 11 November 2011 19:19 (twelve years ago) link
Mentioning distinctive t-shirts are fine, as long as the distinction isn't in its form-fittingness:)
― Virginia Plain, Friday, 11 November 2011 19:21 (twelve years ago) link
I'm relieved it's okay to tell someone you think they have a nice face
― conrad, Friday, 11 November 2011 20:05 (twelve years ago) link
ha.
I have merged my previously separate profiles (one looking for men, the other looking for women) because it was too much work to upkeep 2 profiles, esp answering all the questions over again, and also not very honest. anyway, this has made the past two days of OK cupid a much more positive experience!
― rayuela, Friday, 11 November 2011 20:20 (twelve years ago) link
^^surprise twist!
Someone rated me 5 stars and I rated then 4 stars, and I got the same message I get when it's a mutual 5-star rating. So now I know how that works.
I broke my own rule. I just wrote someone and said I found their premature grey hair very distinguished . I am an okc creep.
― Virginia Plain, Friday, 11 November 2011 20:45 (twelve years ago) link
i read a profile yesterday that plagarized david foster wallace. i thought about messaging him and asking if that was the inspiration, but then decided there was no real way to write it & not sound like a jerk!
― rayuela, Friday, 11 November 2011 20:49 (twelve years ago) link
oh and yeah. i thought about mentioning my other profile here before, but it was very underdeveloped!
― rayuela, Friday, 11 November 2011 20:50 (twelve years ago) link
How is it possible that every male whose profile I click on is "more sex driven" than other straight men of his age? Wouldn't it be statistically impossible?
― Virginia Plain, Friday, 11 November 2011 21:50 (twelve years ago) link
nothing is statistically impossible on OK cupid. OK Cupid is a doorway to POSSIBILITY.
― rayuela, Friday, 11 November 2011 22:20 (twelve years ago) link
Lol. Okc street-team speak.
― Virginia Plain, Saturday, 12 November 2011 00:48 (twelve years ago) link
http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luazl1A3UJ1qhlsrfo1_500.jpg
― mookieproof, Saturday, 12 November 2011 01:17 (twelve years ago) link
"Your eyes reflect the palette on which you paint the world... cool eyes that gives off intensity and passion...even from Queens!"
― Virginia Plain, Saturday, 12 November 2011 15:22 (twelve years ago) link
A message I got today concluded with "'no worries if I dont hear back from you. I'm sure it's just because the 1nternet is br0ken" haha (added the #s because you can never be too safe)
― rayuela, Saturday, 12 November 2011 19:19 (twelve years ago) link
Someone wrote me once and said something like "I see you have 'replies selectively' as your status. If I don't hear back from you I will assume it's only because you are attempting to protect that hard-won crown."
― Virginia Plain, Sunday, 13 November 2011 00:02 (twelve years ago) link
I just got the most o_0 message ever:
"I foolishly read your profile from the bottom up and started to think, yeah she sounds ok. Sadly, I think it's best if I just wish you well in your search. Good luck!"
WHY BOTHER TELLING ME THIS, THANKS A LOT ASSWIPE.
― Trayce, Sunday, 13 November 2011 02:37 (twelve years ago) link
lol, well it's a free boost to your selectivity at least
― een, Sunday, 13 November 2011 02:40 (twelve years ago) link
Hah true, though I was tempted to reply rudely but I wont
― Trayce, Sunday, 13 November 2011 02:41 (twelve years ago) link
there is no fitting response to that
― conrad, Sunday, 13 November 2011 02:48 (twelve years ago) link
ew. jerk.
― rayuela, Sunday, 13 November 2011 03:36 (twelve years ago) link
what a bogan
(can i do that? i have never used that word before)
― mookieproof, Sunday, 13 November 2011 07:09 (twelve years ago) link
I think it is brogan?
― quincie, Sunday, 13 November 2011 13:19 (twelve years ago) link
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bogan
― Ridin' Skyrims (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 13 November 2011 13:19 (twelve years ago) link
in my defense, it is Sunday morning at 8:20 and I have not yet had coffee :(
― quincie, Sunday, 13 November 2011 13:21 (twelve years ago) link
no criticism intended, purely on a mission to inform :)
― Ridin' Skyrims (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 13 November 2011 13:22 (twelve years ago) link
Men who post only in beanie hats, please note this is much more annoying to me than not having a full body shot.
― ljubljana, Sunday, 13 November 2011 13:59 (twelve years ago) link
Ha, 'post' - you know what I mean
A message I got today concluded with "'no worries if I dont hear back from you. I'm sure it's just because the 1nternet is br0ken"
I got this one, too.
― It means why you gotta be a montague? (Laurel), Sunday, 13 November 2011 15:02 (twelve years ago) link
Resisting messaging people just to say, "I am writing to you why bcause you look intresting."
― It means why you gotta be a montague? (Laurel), Sunday, 13 November 2011 15:45 (twelve years ago) link
^^When I first joined, I sent a couple of those..."you seem like an interesting person..."
Just got this: "Your 'message me if' section is wonderful. I like people who appreciate cirrhotic worldviews." Nobody understands my use of the word "jaundiced"! Even when I added explanatory notes.
― Virginia Plain, Sunday, 13 November 2011 15:58 (twelve years ago) link
― It means why you gotta be a montague? (Laurel)
from the dude who says he's part of the 99% & is working to move into the 1%?
― rayuela, Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:01 (twelve years ago) link
I don't know but I just assumed he was a dick and deleted it.
― It means why you gotta be a montague? (Laurel), Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:04 (twelve years ago) link
Also, the guy whose profile pic is his silhouette at a DRIVING RANGE, and the msg, while long and polite and well enough written, is completely generic and clearly not composed just for me: Delete. Mostly because of the golf thing tbh.
― It means why you gotta be a montague? (Laurel), Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:05 (twelve years ago) link
just think of golf as part of your scottish heritage
― mookieproof, Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:17 (twelve years ago) link
Only if it's played on a rocky cliff by people in plus-fours. Otherwise how about I just think of it as lame?
― It means why you gotta be a montague? (Laurel), Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:18 (twelve years ago) link
Should I message someone just because they say that their musical tastes are stuck in the 90s and they like shibuya-kei? Grasping at straws here. How badly do I want to have a conversation about Hideki Kaji? I think I'll wait.
― Virginia Plain, Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:18 (twelve years ago) link
Envious of range, depth, breadth of NYC OKC-ers tbf. (Don't be annoyed, Lee! I do try to meet people irl in DC but probably don't try hard enough)
― ljubljana, Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:23 (twelve years ago) link
yeah i had an exploratory look at this and i don't think i'm gonna bother
― Ridin' Skyrims (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:24 (twelve years ago) link
Last night ilxor yerac tried extra hard to convince all of us that the hot, rich men who are ready to settle down and get married are all on match.com.
― It means why you gotta be a montague? (Laurel), Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:24 (twelve years ago) link
I'm pretty sure that hot, rich men who want to get married just have to LEAVE THE HOUSE to meet someone, I don't understand why they'd be on a dating site.
― It means why you gotta be a montague? (Laurel), Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:25 (twelve years ago) link
I just can't face match.com. There's just something about it.
Jdate continues to yield mostly men 20-25 years my senior.
― ljubljana, Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:26 (twelve years ago) link
One of my friends was rejected from either match or e-harmony. They filled out a questionnaire and the system was like, sorry, I don't think we can help you out!
― rayuela, Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:29 (twelve years ago) link
Aw, I missed yerac dating advice.
There's somehow too many people and yet not enough in the NYC dating pool.
― Virginia Plain, Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:32 (twelve years ago) link
That happened to me on e-harmony, rayuela!
― ljubljana, Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:32 (twelve years ago) link
That's so weird, ljubljana!
― rayuela, Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:37 (twelve years ago) link
Ok. This girl messaged me & we made a date, and she just messaged me to postpone since her BOYFRIEND OF 4.5 years broke up w/her. Her profile said nothing about being in a committed relationship!
― rayuela, Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:41 (twelve years ago) link
Happened to me with eharmony a few years ago. They don't like atheists, I think is the reason they gave (in more diplomatic language).
― ENERGY FOOD (en i see kay), Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:44 (twelve years ago) link
Ray, what? It's good to know that the ladies are just as deceitful and unreliable as the men, I suppose.
― Virginia Plain, Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:47 (twelve years ago) link
going to meet someone seven years older than me shortly
― conrad, Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:50 (twelve years ago) link
Seven? That's nothing. My two most fruitful dates were both 13 years younger than me.
― Virginia Plain, Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:56 (twelve years ago) link
I'm realizing I don't want to date people, I just want to make out w them in the bathroom and then go home to my house, alone. Is there a website for that?
― It means why you gotta be a montague? (Laurel), Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:59 (twelve years ago) link