Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

I keep finding awesome lovely guys who i message and they never reply :( Im really wondering what I'm doing wrong!

LIke this last guy is a huge gamer so I messaged him saying he could probably cane me at Quake and made some compliments on his profile, we have a ton in common... nada. I thhought gamer boys wet themselves over girls who are into games.

...wait, I spoke to soon! Success! \o/

\(^o^)/

:-)

I think I broke his brain talking about Quake.

I wrote someone a very thoughtful, interesting message - a dude who is yet another snow bro but who also seemed kinda quick-witted and interesting...

I got back: "Thanks, but I don't think we have much in common."

I guess it's nice to get a response? But kinda not?

Really, he shouldn't have.

Yeah, I feel like its somehow ruder to say "thanks but no thanks" than just not reply? I dont know, thats just my personal feelin on it. Its like it underlines the "uhhh, NO" aspect doesn't it?

Yeah I kinda feel like really hideous and gross right now

I MEAN OBVIOUSLY I AM NOT

This part of the country is so annoying sometimes.

Course you're not, damn girl!

There's just a lot of singles guys my age here in Denver but I'm not at all what they're looking for and they're not really what I am looking for, either.

You are super fucking cute!

Yeah, I hear that. You seem to get the same kinda hits I do (LARPers/goth nerdy IT guys with beards, poly roleplayers etc)

I don't think it really has to do with cuteness, though

I was just responding to your hideous comment above, not the other comment.

Oh I know I am not hideous...!

The "I don't think we'd have anything in common" thing just kinda stung a little.

Completely revamped my profile. Is it better? Worse? I am a few drinks in and can't tell, and might have rambled.

Had a date tonight that wasn't horrible. We actually got along very well, and i think it was my best ok cupid date yet, but don't think I'm attracted to this person. Still, this experience has replaced my grim determination with a bit more enthusiasm and optimism.

The thing is, you DON'T have anything in common, obviously, because you are not an asshole nor do you have time for any in your rich life.

I think I might disable my profile for a while and quit focusing on this so much.

When people don't write me back, I assume they don't like the way I look, or they don't like the way I present myself, or some combination of the two. However, it could be a number of things, such as they are sort of seeing someone and don't have the need to meet a new person, they have a life and aren't obsessively checking in with okc every second, etc. Their should be a drop down menu for for when you don't write. It would send the following message: User has no with to interact with you bc you are too old, too young, too pretentious, not pretentious enough, too cute, not cute enough, etc.

omg. That would be horrible! I would definitely not want to know those things.

http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/44324_140801409294648_135333006508155_193916_4970622_n.jpg

bit big

Anyway, I'm trying to think of what to put in a message I'm going to send to this girl on OKC. She doesn't give much away in her profile though, except for a long list of book/film/music likes. Should I comment on her profile pics, or go down the "hey you like that book? So do I, isn't that amazing!" route?

What about "what do you like about X? i really love the xyz about it."

I hate it when people say anything about my physical appearance.

Just comment on somehing in her profile and say hello.

Also true irl.

i've gotten msgs that just say "you're cute :)" before and i pretty much never respond to them

DavidM, you could go off of what she has listed and maybe recommend something she might like, or ask her if she has any recommendations for you since you have similar tastes?

Yeah, no I wasn't going to comment on her appearance. Not as such, anyway. She's wearing a distinctive t-shirt in one and I thought I'd mention that, but I think I'll steer clear for now. We have similar tastes in everything except music - almost all the bands she listed I don't really know too much about, so that could be my in.

Opening gambits are difficult though. Once I get the ball rolling I'll be okay, I think.

This is super nitpickey, but I also hate it when people recommend things to me on the first message. It seems very male and paternal, somehow. I think it's better if you could frame it like, "I don't know if you're familiar with x, but..." I think the content of the message itself isn't so important, just show that you've read her profile and engaged with it in some way.
Oh, comments about pics are ok if you comment about something that's happening in the background. One person wrote me (among other things): "You have a nice face!" I thought that was kind of okay. I wrote him back and told him he had a nice smile and never heard from him again.

Mentioning distinctive t-shirts are fine, as long as the distinction isn't in its form-fittingness:)

I'm relieved it's okay to tell someone you think they have a nice face

ha.

I have merged my previously separate profiles (one looking for men, the other looking for women) because it was too much work to upkeep 2 profiles, esp answering all the questions over again, and also not very honest. anyway, this has made the past two days of OK cupid a much more positive experience!

^^surprise twist!

Someone rated me 5 stars and I rated then 4 stars, and I got the same message I get when it's a mutual 5-star rating. So now I know how that works.

I broke my own rule. I just wrote someone and said I found their premature grey hair very distinguished . I am an okc creep.

i read a profile yesterday that plagarized david foster wallace. i thought about messaging him and asking if that was the inspiration, but then decided there was no real way to write it & not sound like a jerk!

oh and yeah. i thought about mentioning my other profile here before, but it was very underdeveloped!

How is it possible that every male whose profile I click on is "more sex driven" than other straight men of his age? Wouldn't it be statistically impossible?

nothing is statistically impossible on OK cupid. OK Cupid is a doorway to POSSIBILITY.

Lol. Okc street-team speak.

http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_luazl1A3UJ1qhlsrfo1_500.jpg

"Your eyes reflect the palette on which you paint the world... cool eyes that gives off intensity and passion...even from Queens!"

A message I got today concluded with "'no worries if I dont hear back from you. I'm sure it's just because the 1nternet is br0ken" haha (added the #s because you can never be too safe)

Someone wrote me once and said something like "I see you have 'replies selectively' as your status. If I don't hear back from you I will assume it's only because you are attempting to protect that hard-won crown."

I just got the most o_0 message ever:

"I foolishly read your profile from the bottom up and started to think, yeah she sounds ok. Sadly, I think it's best if I just wish you well in your search. Good luck!"

WHY BOTHER TELLING ME THIS, THANKS A LOT ASSWIPE.

lol, well it's a free boost to your selectivity at least

Hah true, though I was tempted to reply rudely but I wont

there is no fitting response to that